El Mexnophibia

Retirement isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I spend most of my time sitting on my front porch counting cars and yelling at the newspaper boy. He's not a bad kid; it's just that he can't seem to hit my front porch with the paper. I have, mind you, on more than one occasion spent most of my morning searching around the yard for the paper, only to find it either in my wife's rose bushes or on the garage roof. I have gone as far as demonstrating the art of paper tossing to the young lad; e...