Escape into Sentience: A Jurisprudence of Drip

The death of Maxilodimus Cruett, who drowns in a vat of oil, sparks a global controversy. Society becomes divided into Rationalists, Pilgrims, and various new theological groups who debate whether the event was murder, a miracle, or a “merger” of substance and consciousness. Grease itself starts to become sentient-it begins to hum, speak, and eventually organize, eventually forming an international commission. Legal battles ensue, culminating in a global strike where all lubrication ceases,...