For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards

by Jen Hatmaker


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781400207572
Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Publication date: 04/10/2018
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 75,492
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Jen Hatmaker is the author of the New York Times bestseller Of Mess and Moxie (plus twelve other books) and the host of the For the Love! with Jen Hatmaker podcast. She and her husband, Brandon, founded the Legacy Collective and also starred in the popular series My Big Family Renovation on HGTV. Jen is a mom to five, a sought-after speaker, and a delighted resident of Austin, Texas, where she and her family are helping keep Austin weird.

Read an Excerpt

For the Love

Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards

By Jen Hatmaker

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2015 Jen Hatmaker
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-7180-3183-1


Worst Beam Ever

My nine-year-old daughter Remy is in gymnastics. After her second practice, she asked when she would have her first competition. Bless. No one ever accused that one of low self-esteem. (She is currently deciding between a future as a professional gymnast or a singer, and may I just say that both plan A and plan B are fatally flawed?)

She struggles most with the balance beam. It's unclear who invented this particular apparatus, but it was certainly not the mother of a gangly third-grader with delusions of grandeur. She is still attempting to get from one end to the other with a few "dips" and "scoops" and "leans" without falling to the mat. Forget the fancy moves; just one notch above walking throws her so off-kilter, I am beginning to wonder how she will ever become an Olympian with a music career on the side.

If I had to recite the top questions I'm asked in interviews, conversations, and e-mails, certainly included would be this one:

How do you balance work and family and community?

And every time, I think: Do you even know me?

Balance. It's like a unicorn; we've heard about it, everyone talks about it and makes airbrushed T-shirts celebrating it, it seems super rad, but we haven't actually seen one. I'm beginning to think it isn't a thing.

Here is part of the problem, girls: we've been sold a bill of goods. Back in the day, women didn't run themselves ragged trying to achieve some impressively developed life in eight different categories. No one constructed fairy-tale childhoods for their spawn, developed an innate set of personal talents, fostered a stimulating and world-changing career, created stunning homes and yardscapes, provided homemade food for every meal (locally sourced, of course), kept all marriage fires burning, sustained meaningful relationships in various environments, carved out plenty of time for "self care," served neighbors/church/world, and maintained a fulfilling, active relationship with Jesus our Lord and Savior.

You can't balance that job description.

Listen to me: No one can pull this off. No one is pulling this off. The women who seem to ride this unicorn only display the best parts of their stories. Trust me. No one can fragment her time and attention into this many segments.

The trouble is, we have up-close access to women who excel in each individual sphere. With social media and its carefully selected messaging, we see career women killing it, craft moms slaying it, chef moms nailing it, Christian leaders working it. We register their beautiful yards, homemade green chile enchiladas, themed birthday parties, eight-week Bible study series, chore charts, ab routines, "10 Tips for a Happy Marriage," career best practices, volunteer work, and Family Fun Night ideas. We make note of their achievements, cataloging their successes and observing their talents. Then we combine the best of everything we see, every woman we admire in every genre, and conclude: I should be all of that.

It is certifiably insane.

The only thing worse than this unattainable standard is the guilt that follows when perfection proves impossible. Sister, what could be crazier than a woman who wakes children up before dawn, feeds and waters them while listening and affirming all their chatter, gets them dressed and off to school with signed folders, then perhaps heads to a job to put food on the table or stays home to raise littles who cannot even wipe, completes one million domestic chores that multiply like gremlins, breaks up forty-four fights, intentionally disciplines 293 times a day, attends to all e-mails/correspondence/deadlines, helps with math/writing/biology homework, serves dinner while engineering a round of "High-Low," oversees Bedtime and Bath Marathon, reads lovingly to lap children, tucks them in with prayers, finishes the endless Daily Junk Everywhere Pickup, turns attention to husband with either mind or body, then has one last thought of the day: I am doing a terrible job at everything.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

This is beyond unreasonable. It is destructive. We no longer assess our lives with any accuracy. We have lost the ability to declare a job well-done. We measure our performance against an invented standard and come up wanting, and it is destroying our joy. No matter how hard we work or excel in an area or two, it never feels like enough. Our primary defaults are exhaustion and guilt.

Meanwhile, we have beautiful lives begging to be really lived, really enjoyed, really applauded — and it is simpler than we dare hope: we gotta unload that beam.

We cannot do it all, have it all, or master it all. That is simply not a thing. May I tell you something? Because women ask constantly how I "do it all," let me clear something up: I HAVE HELP. My booking representative handles events, my literary agent manages publishing stuff, my tech person does all the Internet things, my extraordinary housekeepers do in two hours what would take me twelve, and our part-time nanny fills in the gaps.

I'm not doing it all. Who could? I can't. You can't. I decided what tricks belonged on my beam and dropped the rest or figured out a way to delegate. I love to write but hate web management. Off the beam. I could not juggle weekend travel, weeknight activities (times five kids ... be near, Jesus), and a weekly small group, so as much as I love our church people, we aren't in a group right now. (And I am the pastor's wife, so let that speak freedom over your shoulds.) Off the beam.

Cooking and sit-down dinners? Life-giving for me. On the beam.

Coffee with everyone who wants to "pick my brain"? I simply can't. Off the beam.

After-hours with our best friends on the patio? Must. On the beam.

Classroom Mom? I don't have the skill set. Off the beam.

You get to do this too. You have permission to examine all the tricks and decide what should stay. What parts do you love? What are you good at? What brings you life? What has to stay during this season? Don't look sideways for these answers. Don't transplant someone else's keepers onto your beam. I could cook for days, but this does not mean you want to. Classroom Mom for me would mean a nervous breakdown; it might be the highlight of your year. You do you here. There are only twenty-four hours in a day.

We need to quit trying to be awesome and instead be wise.

Decide which parts are draining you dry. What do you dread? What are you including for all the wrong reasons? Which parts are for approval? Is there anything you could delegate or hand off? Could you sacrifice a Good for a Best? Throw out every should or should not and make ruthless cuts. Go ahead. Your beam is too crowded. I know it.

Frame your choices through this lens: season. If your kids are under five, you cannot possibly include the things I can with middle and high schoolers. You are ruled by a tiny army you created yourself. This is just how it is right now. If you have bigs like I do, we run a taxi service from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. virtually every night. Evening real estate belongs to family for now. In ten years when they are gone, the story will change (sob). Perhaps you have a fabulous trick that no longer works, and you might need to set it aside for a season. Those are often the hardest cuts. The choices you make today may completely change in five years or even next year. Operate in the right-now.

What does this season require of you? Unsure? Ask God. He is a wonderful advisor who always, always knows the Best Thing. He will help you sort it out. When you can't trust your own discernment, you can certainly trust His. God has no agenda other than your highest good in His kingdom. There is no better leader through this minefield.

I labored over a scheduling decision last year, and the drama I projected was undoubtedly annoying. I fretted and agonized and vacillated before I remembered to pray. (I am a delightful choice for your spiritual advisor, yes?) I kid you not: I finally gave the decision to God, and in five seconds, it was instantly clear. The answer was no and it probably saved my life.

By the way, no one will make these choices for you. People will take as much as you will give them, not because they are terrible humans, but because they only want this one slice of you. It doesn't seem like much to them. On paper, it's just that one thing, that one night, that one commitment. Plus, you're probably good at their pet thing. But they don't observe the scope of your life and all the other tricks on your beam. They just want that one dip/scoop/lean, but only so many tricks fit into a day.

Good news: most people are surprisingly respectful with boundaries. Folks take a no better than I suspected. When I say, "Thank you for inviting me into this good thing of yours. It is as extraordinary as you are. But any new yes I give means a no to my family and sanity. Please accept my sincere regrets and count on my prayers," most people are amazing. You can say no, and no one will die. In fact, gracious noes challenge the myth of Doing It All. When I see another woman fighting for her balance beam, I am inspired because if she has permission, then I do too. Wise women know what to hold onto and what to release, and how to walk confidently in their choices — no regrets, no apologies, no guilt.

I deeply believe God wants this freedom for us. Scripture instructs us to live presently and joyfully, resisting worry and believing Jesus set us free for freedom's sake. We have an abundance of good and perfect gifts that often look like a messy house full of laughter, a ten-year-old running through a sprinkler, a heart unburdened by comparison, an afternoon nap, joy in using our gifts and leaving the rest to people better suited. Our generation is so hamstrung with striving and guilt, we no longer recognize God's good and perfect gifts staring us in the face. What a tragedy. What a loss. We will never get these lovely years back.

So no, you cannot balance an overloaded beam. That is not a possibility. But maybe if we reject the invented standard, if we stop fearing a no will end the world, if we pare our lives down to what is beautiful, essential, life-giving, if we refuse to guilt one another for different choices, and if we celebrate the decent accomplishments of Ordinary Good Hard Life, then we'll discover there wasn't a beam in the first place, that God's kingdom never required a balancing act, and Jesus was in that fun foam pit all along.

We are all Olympic hopefuls in that event.


On Turning Forty

I am experiencing trauma and am unsure what to do. It blindsides me constantly, assaulting me when I am unaware and unprepared. Every time, I am left reeling and need to lie down to recover. I never get used to it, and each time it happens is like the first time.

I keep seeing someone's old-lady hands sticking out of my sleeves.

There I am, just going about my work, and BAM. Old-lady hands typing. Reaching for my dishes and KAPOW. Old-lady hands cooking. These hands are quite confusing, with their veins and sunspots and loose skin. What in the actual heck? Whose grandma hands are wearing my jewelry? More specifically, how did my mother's exact hands relocate to my body? My friend Tray went to high school with a woman who was convinced the government had transplanted different hands onto her body in some conspiracy (bless), and even as I chuckle, I'm secretly thinking, It's all starting to make sense.

I turned forty this year.

Forty! Which is so weird because I've always been young. I've been young my whole life, as a matter of fact. No matter how I dissect this, I've aged out of the "young" category and graduated to the "middle" group. My brain feels confused about this because I am so juvenile. I make up my own words to hip-hop songs and quote Paul Rudd as a parenting strategy. Surely I am a preteen. But much like Shakira: these hands don't lie.

So gather round, young things, for I know you think me ancient. You think forty is so distant it cannot be comprehended, though basic math confirms it a mere, say, eleven years away. In my twenties, I pitied the middle-aged as they clearly had one foot in the grave. I will never be forty, thought my young, deluded self. I will always have this elastic body and newborn-baby hands. My forehead will appear kissed by angels every morning. I will pee only if and when I want to.

Well, let me and my fellow fortysomethings tell you about it. We don't mean to terrify, but you need to know some truths. We don't want you wringing your hands in eleven years crying, "Nobody toooooold me!" So grab a pen while I prepare you for some things.

Something weird happens to your brain. This brain has served you well for so long, but it starts punking you. You can't remember directions, you forget why you walked into a room, and for the life of you, you can't recall your third kid's name ("Take out the trash ... I want to say ... Chris?"). You will talk on your cell phone while looking around your house for your cell phone. No one helps because they are laughing at you; these people you live with mock this behavior. Sometimes your husband will say a sentence using English words, but for some reason, the sentence won't compute and you will stare at him blankly, like a pigeon, because the words are so confusing. What is he trying to say? What are these words? Is this a trick? Talking is hard.

And the learning. Heaven help if you need to learn something new. At this point, education is a fool's errand. Your brain is not helpful. It is done. It already took you to college and did the heavy lifting for the last twenty years, and now it is taking a cigarette break. This is unfortunate because about this time you go back to middle and high school with your spawn. You are expected to help with algebra and chemistry and the remembering of all the things, but your brain resembles the bottom of your purse: lost pen caps and congealed, undefined filth. It feels furious about the chemistry homework. It feels angry about this new math. It will not have this crap. It will take a nap while those children work their own stuff out. Your brain already completed eleventh grade. It has done its time.

We are sorry to disclose this, young ones, but you can no longer quit eating bread for one day and lose six pounds. I know this is hard to believe. I once thought that if I made minor adjustments and took a jog, those tight jeans would fit by Tuesday. Your body is over this by forty. It just wants to be fat and happy. To prove its point, you can eat four hundred calories a day for six weeks and your body will release three pounds. The next day you eat half a tortilla and gain seventeen. It isn't interested in your diet or those jeans. Your body wants yoga pants and your husband's stretched-out T-shirts, and it will have them. Enjoy your young body. Walk naked past full-length mirrors. Wear your bikini to the grocery store. Take a lot of pictures because when you see a photo of your twenty-nine-year-old self one day, you will weep at your smooth thighs.

Skin. Come close, all ye still bathing in the fountain of youth: TAKE CARE OF YOUR SKIN. I know, you'll never be old and wrinkly and being tan is just the best, but you'll soon regret this folly. It's strange with the skin, because sometimes your brain helps you survive the bathroom mirror (remember it is addled, plus denial is strong, young Jedi), but then you see a picture of yourself and you're like, I was in some terrible lighting and also the angle is tragic plus the shadows made my neck look weird and for the love of Annie Leibovitz do my friends not know how to use INSTAGRAM FILTERS? It is all very distressing. Sometimes I baby-talk parts of my body into resisting the mutiny: "Come on, Shins. I'm counting on you. You've always been good to me. You don't want to be like Neck and Eyelids and Chest, those loose floozies. Hang in there, baby, and you'll be the last part of me to see the light of day."

You will be surprised, but you'll become a crotchety grandma about certain things. Now you think, Wooohoo, y'all! Burn down the establishment! We are young and beautiful and we embrace this big life with wide-open arms! Down with The Man! Go big or go home! But in a few years you will sound more like, Settle down, young man, some of us need to get some sleep. My girlfriend went dancing with her husband last week, and it took her three days to recover. Brandon bought front-row balcony tickets to Aerosmith to ensure I could sit down. (I can't stand for three hours. I'm not an Olympian.) You will avoid crowds, bemoan today's youth, disparage the kids' music, and ninja-sneak out of parties to go home and watch House Hunters. This is your future. Make your peace.

You've always been pop culture savvy, but something strange happens around forty. I wonder at the cover of US Weekly: Who are these people and why can't that girl exit a car without flashing her bits and nubs? After one episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, you declare America intellectually bankrupt. (See former paragraph about crotchety grandma behavior.) Who are these teenaged singers? How do this many college-aged kids have TV shows? What are the popular baby names now? Is the name Emma so 2002? We have no idea. I don't know that song, that series, or that star. I still watch Friends reruns almost every night. Just whatever, man.


Excerpted from For the Love by Jen Hatmaker. Copyright © 2015 Jen Hatmaker. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Introduction xiii

Your Very Own Self

1 Worst Beam Ever 3

2 On Turning Forty 10

3 On Calling and Haitian Moms 17

4 Fashion Concerns 24

5 Run Your Race 30

6 Not Buying 35

7 Tell the Truth 43

8 Thank-You Notes (Part 1) 50

All These People Who Live in Your House

9 Hope for Spicy Families 57

10 Surviving School 63

11 Dear Kids 70

12 Marriage: Have Fun and Stuff 77

13 Jesus Kids 86

14 Thank-You Notes (Part 2) 96

Friends, Neighbors, Strangers, and Enemies

15 Supper Club 103

16 Porches as Altars 113

17 Quirky 120

18 Difficult People 130

19 Bonus Supper Club Menu 140

20 Thank-You Notes (Part 3) 147

Church, Church People, Not-Church People, and God

21 Poverty Tourism 153

22 Dear Church… 161

23 If Social Media Were Around 175

24 Thank-You Notes (Part 4) 185

25 Dear Christians, Please Stop Being Lame 189

26 On Women 198

Conclusion 205

Thank-You Notes For Real (Acknowledgments) 209

Notes 217

About the Author 221

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For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 65 reviews.
emnelson More than 1 year ago
Through witty and provocative essays, For The Love touches on all aspects of life: marriage, parenting, friendship, church, balance, womanhood, unworthiness--in a way that's irreverently reverent. I found myself on many pages and thought of a dozen friends that could relate as well. Jen’s words illuminated the recesses of my heart as she emboldens us to intentionally live the simple message: Love God, Love People.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Amazing book. Thank you Jen! So many thought provoking moments and LOLs in the same book.
RebekkaD More than 1 year ago
I love Jen Hatmaker. There. I said it. And I mean it. We've never met in person, but I feel like we're soul sisters. She gets it. She really gets it. And she's able to write about it in a simple, yet profound; touching, yet hilarious style. I first became acquainted with Jen when I read "7." It was funny - REALLY funny. Like wet your pants kinda funny. But it was also deep and spiritual. (How on earth does she hit both of those extremes in one book!?!) So when I got the opportunity to review "For The Love," I said, "I'm in! Sign me up NOW!" "For The Love" did not disappoint. While it isn't the same "type" of book that "7" is, its great in its own right. Basically, "For The Love" is a series of Jen's personal musings on love. Its broken up into 4 sections: "Your Very Own Self," "All These People Who Live In Your House," "Friends, Neighbors, Strangers, and Enemies," and "Church, Church People, Non-Church People, and God." Each section has several chapters on how to love "those people." Each section also has a "Thank You Notes" section similar to Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show "Thank You Notes" section. Its hilarious and totally relatable! (If you don't know what I' talking about, get on YouTube and type in "Tonight Show Thank You Notes." You'll laugh until you wet yourself - once again. What I loved about this book - other than the HILARIOUS writing style of Jen Hatmaker - is that you can really tell that its "her heart." Its what she believes, what she's learned, and what she's still learning. While I don't agree 100% with Mrs. Hatmaker on all of her theology (but really, who agrees 100% with anyone), she challenges me to really prove my faith. Why do I disagree? Are my beliefs in that area just personal or are they biblically based? If you want an enjoyable read with thought-provoking chapters and "laugh 'til you wet yourself" humor, you can't go wrong with Jen Hatmaker!!! Here's an example of the hilarious truth that you can find in "For The Love:" "At the writing of this essay, overalls are back. This is too painful to discuss. I beseech Thee, Lord, return them to dust by this book's printing, every last pair. My generation already suffered this blow in the 90s. The pictures live in scrapbooks and cannot be undone. I wore mine with turtlenecks, making my upper front quadrant a true calamity. It's too soon, God. The wounds are still fresh. Spare today's youth, we humbly pray." Preach it, Jen. You speak truth. I received a digital copy of this book, free of charge, from BookLook Bloggers in exchange for my honest review.
ksnapier475 5 months ago
I was given this book by NetGalley in exchange for my honest review. This book is humorous, honest, and captured my attention. Each essay also aims us toward God. I had not read her books before but now she is on a list of authors that I would like to go back and read them all. The way that she shows love is, in my opinion, the way God would want all of us to. I recommend this book .
joyful334209 More than 1 year ago
For The Love is a wonder book that makes you feel unburdened and closer to my family and GOD. the author said something that said it all, she said, "I deeply believe GOD wants this freedom for us. Scripture instructs us to live presently and joyfully resisting worry and believing JESUS set us free for freedom's sake. We have an abundance of good and perfect gifts...." isn't that perfect to what we need to hear? I received a copy of this book from Netgalley; all the opinions expressed in this review are all my own. If you would like to read more of my Christian book reviews go to
swimreadbreathe4JC More than 1 year ago
For the Love by Jen Hatmaker is a book made up of a collection of thoughts and stories, for the purpose of encouraging busy moms and others that it’s okay to not be perfect. This book was published in August of 2015, so it’s not as recent of a release as most of my books that I review, but I was invited to review it a good bit after it was published anyway. Hatmaker, as mentioned previously, mostly just talked about her everyday life as a pastor’s wife and mom of five. I’ve enjoyed one of her video Bible studies before, and I personally liked that better as it was less “rant” and more applicable to me (but that could just be me). I’ve also read books with similar themes to this, such as Wild and Free: A Hope-Filled Anthem for the Woman Who Feels She is Both Too Much and Never Enough by Jess Connolly and Hayley Morgan, or Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lisa TerKeurst, and, well, I just related to them more. This book, at the time of writing this review, has 4.7 out of 5 stars on Amazon, so obviously it is engaging and relatable to others. In other words, don’t pass it by on account of me! I guess I just connected with Hatmaker more when I could see and hear her ramble rather than read it. Thank you so much to Harper Collins publishing and Net Galley for providing me with a copy of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own and were not required to be positive. *Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion – which I’ve done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Jen talked about real life issues and trusting God. It made me laugh and made me think about my own relationship with God. How I can relate to things she is saying in her book. I wasnt much of a reader until I read this book. Now I am hooked. Excellent book!
CrisF More than 1 year ago
The title and subtitle of the book might be a little misleading, but I have to tell you: this is one of the best books I've read in a while. This book is not a cohesive unit, with beginning, middle and end. It is rather a collection of essays about various topics, in which the author expresses her opinion coming from a Christian writer, mother of five, married to a pastor, past forties person. Even though the essays doesn't necessarily connect with each other, they all are excellent. The author has an admirable sense of humor that she expresses with ease. I had to really struggle not to laugh out loud in the bus or in the subway while I read this book. It was a great read to both make me think about important issues, and make me relax at the beginning of the day or after a long day of study and work. Even though it might seem that the book might be targeted at a specific demographic (married christian women), I have to say that I am not in that demographic (I am single, past my forties, no children, no plans to get married, working for a living) and I enjoyed this book very very much. This is certainly a book that I will read again in the future (I am NOT used to re-read books). Disclaimer: I received an advanced copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is one of my favorites! It has great recipe ideas and will make you laugh until your stomach hurts. Relate to jens day by day life in so many ways!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
VillaSyl More than 1 year ago
Jen Hatmaker has wisdom, wry humor, no-nonsense faith, liberating insight, and a fearless honesty that has made her books read by women worldwide. I find that Jen Hatmaker’s audience must be made up of mainly a younger audience and for me is lacking in real substance. For the Love mainly is humorous, easy to read in small snatches, and occasionally makes a great point of practical theology. This book does not seem to be about finding how to primarily apply the grace to ourselves and others secondarily, only the author’s experience in how she responded to life circumstances. Jen Hatmaker reveals how to practice kindness, grace, truthfulness, vision, and love to ourselves and those around us. The cover makes a claim by reading this book you will read about how to reclaim your prophetic voice and become Good News again to a hurting, polarized world. For the Love falls short on this point. The book was full of should and shouldn’t with very little actual Scripture used. For the Love really is a collection of essays written on different topics like church folks, self-care, marriage, kids, Netflix, and difficult people. I would recommend this book if you are interested in a good read for some light yet inspiring Christian humor, it does not really show how to “fight for grace.” I received a digital copy of book from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
ShareeS More than 1 year ago
I’m not even sure where to begin my review about the book, For the Love by Jen Hatmaker. To say she’s an awesome writer falls short in describing her…well…awesomeness! This book had me laughing, praying, crying…you get the idea, I ran the full gamut of emotions. I probably would have finished it sooner had I not stopped so many times to read aloud portions to my family just so they’d understand why I was giggling at my book. Jen’s way of writing is so honest and delightful. I can’t provide every word that I highlighted because it basically encompassed 90% of the book, but let me give you just a few of my absolute faves! I love that she talks about how we have tried to do everything just right and in doing so we not only come up short, but we attack others for their similar failures. She writes, “Maybe we can lay down our fear and criticism, self-directed and otherwise. Maybe if we let ourselves off the hook, we can let others off too and discover that God was in control all along, just as He tried to tell us. He is good at being God.” (Location 50) On the ever popular topic of balancing home, work, church and community, Jen writes: “Balance. It’s like a unicorn; we’ve heard about it, everyone talks about it and makes airbrushed T-shirts celebrating it, it seems super rad, but we haven’t actually seen one. I’m beginning to think it isn’t a thing.” (Location 79) I think the most powerful quotes in this book is on the gospel and the problem with prosperity preaching: “If it isn’t also true for a poor single Christian mom in Haiti, it isn’t true.” (Location 233) “The best we can do is give them Jesus. Not rules, not behaviors, not entertainment, not shame. I have no confidence in myself but every confidence in Jesus.” (Location 949) My favorite part of reading For the Love was getting to the end of each section’s Thank You Notes. Friends, I’m telling you, this is worth the book alone! One of my favorites says: “Thank you, Texting, for ensuring, that, if executed well, I’ll never have to talk on the phone again in my life. This is like a stay of execution for introverts.” (Location 1416) To which I reply a hearty, AMEN! For the Love is worth every single penny!! It’s undoubtedly on the top five books that I’ve read this year. Buy it for yourself, buy one for a friend, buy one for an enemy! It’s just that good! I received this book from Netgalley and Thomas Nelson Publishing in exchange for my honest opinion which I’ve provided here.
Copygirl More than 1 year ago
When I discovered Jen Hatmaker's blog, I was hooked by her honesty and humor and grace. Her book Interrupted was like an assurance from a friend that I wasn't alone, that my thoughts weren't crazy, that the way I wanted to follow Jesus was possible. So I was excited for the release of For The Love. The idea of "Fighting for Grace" in our world was so necessary, especially with all the yelling on Facebook. I hate to admit I was somewhat disappointed. (Really, I hate to say that; I love Jen and what she stands for. Heck, I named her to my life board of directors even though I've never met her.) First, I was thrown by the randomness of the chapters. It felt like a collection of assorted blog posts. If the cover had said it was a collection of essays, it would have helped. Once I wrapped my head around this, I proceeded to enjoy the book. There were great chapters—"On Calling and Haitian Mom" and "Surviving School" and several others. There was the classic Jen Hatmaker humor running throughout. What upset me most was what wasn't there: The chapter, "Dear Christians, Please Stop Being Lame" said, "We'll talk about loving our neighbors later," but it never came up that I saw. The back cover copy said, "Learn to engage our culture's controversial issues with a grace-based approach." I didn't find that chapter either. In fact, I think I found the chapter I was craving in Jen's bonus essays to her email subscribers, called, "My Doomed Career as Your Judge." I'm very disappointed it didn't make the book. It's powerful and needed. I think in some ways I'm simply too old to be the target audience of this book. I love her message of being who God made you and not feeling you have to be perfect or like others, to live in grace. But at my age, /i've learned that—thank God! If you're a young mom trying to live a Pinterest-perfect life, get the book, devour it. Laugh. And be free!
Bonnie Plante More than 1 year ago
sds1 More than 1 year ago
So good! Jen Hatmaker is the best! I flew through this - was dying laughing in one chapter, crying in the next, and then so deeply challenged in the next! You definitely want to read this and share with your friends!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
For the Love is a collection of hilarious and thought provoking essays about parenting, marriage, friendship, church, community, grace giving and grace receiving. No matter your stage in life, you will recognize yourself in these pages. So thankful for Jen's fresh take on grace, truth, love, and Jesus in today's culture - can't wait to share with all my friends!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Though I grew up in the church, it was just two years ago that I encountered the beauty of grace. So I have some re-learning to do. Jen’s humor and wisdom helped me find and embrace grace in even more areas of my life! This message of freedom is one I am eager for us all to hear and pursue."
pattierwr More than 1 year ago
Healing, humorous, and helpful. I got this book as I was preparing to move across North America. For the Love gave me laughter, it gave me teary-eyed moments, and it gave me new phrases, like "off the beam" and "leggings as pants" (just say no, friends...) and the best of all: "Be Kind. Be You. Love Jesus." If there is a book you want to give to all your friends, this would be the one. Jen Hatmaker has a smart and sassy sense of humor, and this book makes all of us feel that she's our very own bestie. She speaks truth in love and humor. Here is my endorsement of the book. It wasn't chosen to be printed in the book itself, but it's on the website. ======= Biblical, humorous, poignant, and sometimes just a little bit irreverent, every chapter in Jen Hatmaker’s latest book For the Love is focused on what the title says: Everything we do, we do for the Love: love for God, love for His Son Jesus, love for His people. All His people: the people in our homes, in our churches, in our communities, in the world. I laughed and cried in turn, and my heart was moved to love God and His people in real and tangible ways. What more could one ask for in one book? ===== Disclaimer: I was given an advanced reader copy for review from the publisher.
JCNC19 More than 1 year ago
Life changing book - I love the focus on grace, love, laughter, and Biblical truth instead of how to be "good enough" or "better than" to be a Christian. Coming from someone who has felt the guilt and shame of never measuring up even while doing all the "right, churchy" things - this was a breath of fresh air. Love God. Love others. Those truly are the greatest commands of Jesus (see Matthew), and those are what I will be striving for now instead of "having it all together" or being "right" all the time. Grace is truly an amazing thing! Highly recommend this book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Laughter, tears, peace and silliness - Jen delivers it all! I just love her and For The Love is a fun and meaningful read.
LEDouglas More than 1 year ago
Reading For the Love, feels like a conversation with a friend over coffee filled with laughter, easy going conversation, and depth. In this book, Jen answers many of the questions I would want to ask her over parenting, her love for others, life, and the church. I view Jen Hatmaker as a mentor to the next generation of women, mothers and Christians. She uses her writing to inspire and challenge all the while making you laugh.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
What I love about Jen’s book is how she makes me feel like we’re sitting on her front porch chatting over a Mason jar of sweet iced tea. One minute she’s giving me advice on my marriage and raising kids, the next she’s giving me hilarious do’s and don’ts on fashion and for the love…recipes! She speaks right from the heart and tells it like it is. Her words ring with truth and honesty. No matter your walk in life or where you are spiritually, Jen will gather you close and speak truth to your heart. Gather on Jen’s porch, drink in these words, and be blessed!
viperfamily5 More than 1 year ago
Sometimes you read a book to be entertained, other times you read to learn. And, then, in a rare moment, there arrives on the scene a book that beautifully does both. From cover to cover, I was drawn in by Jen’s humor, inspired by her wisdom, and encouraged by her grace. This book sparked my heart and challenged my soul. Take this journey to rediscover what it means to really love yourself and your neighbor.