Seventeen-year-old Lochan and sixteen-year-old Maya have always felt more like friends than siblings. Together they have stepped in for their alcoholic, wayward mother to take care of their three younger siblings. As de facto parents to the little ones, Lochan and Maya have had to grow up fast. And the stress of their lives—and the way they understand each other so completely—has also brought them closer than two siblings would ordinarily be. So close, in fact, that they have fallen in love. Their clandestine romance quickly blooms into deep, desperate love. They know their relationship is wrong and cannot possibly continue. And yet, they cannot stop what feels so incredibly right. As the novel careens toward an explosive and shocking finale, only one thing is certain: A love this devastating has no happy ending.
|Product dimensions:||5.60(w) x 8.04(h) x 1.17(d)|
|Age Range:||16 - 18 Years|
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I gaze at the small, crisp, burned-out black husks scattered across the chipped white paint of the windowsills. It is hard to believe that they were ever alive. I wonder what it would be like to be shut up in this airless glass box, slowly baked for two long months by the relentless sun, able to see the outdoors—the wind shaking the green trees right there in front of you—hurling yourself again and again at the invisible wall that seals you off from everything that is real and alive and necessary, until eventually you succumb: scorched, exhausted, overwhelmed by the impossibility of the task. At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window—do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physically capable of no more, or does it eventually learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough?
I turn my eyes away from the tiny carcasses and try to focus on the mass of quadratic equations on the board. A thin film of sweat coats my skin, trapping wisps of hair against my forehead, clinging to my school shirt. The sun has been pouring through the industrial-size windows all afternoon and I am foolishly sitting in full glare, half blinded by the powerful rays. The ridge of the plastic chair digs painfully into my back as I sit semi-reclined, one leg stretched out, heel propped up against the low radiator along the wall. My shirt cuffs hang loose around my wrists, stained with ink and grime. The empty page stares up at me, painfully white, as I work out equations in lethargic, barely legible handwriting. The pen slips and slides in my clammy fingers. I peel my tongue off my palate and try to swallow; I can’t. I have been sitting like this for the best part of an hour, but I know that trying to find a more comfortable position is useless. I linger over the sums, tilting the nib of my pen so that it catches on the paper and makes a faint scratching sound—if I finish too soon, I will have nothing to do but look at dead flies again. My head hurts. The air stands heavy, pregnant with the perspiration of thirty-two teenagers crammed into an overheated classroom. There is a weight on my chest that makes it difficult to breathe. It is far more than this arid room, this stale air. The weight descended on Tuesday, the moment I stepped through the school gates, back to face another school year. The week has not yet ended and already I feel as if I have been here for all eternity. Between these school walls, time flows like cement. Nothing has changed. The people are still the same: vacuous faces, contemptuous smiles. My eyes slide past theirs as I enter the classrooms and they gaze past me, through me. I am here but not here. The teachers tick me off in the register but no one sees me, for I have long perfected the art of being invisible.
There is a new English teacher—Miss Azley. Some bright young thing from Down Under: huge frizzy hair held back by a rainbow-colored head scarf, tanned skin, and massive gold hoops in her ears. She looks alarmingly out of place in a school full of tired middle-aged teachers, faces etched with lines of bitterness and disappointment. No doubt once, like this plump, chirpy Aussie, they entered the profession full of hope and vigor, determined to make a difference, to heed Gandhi and be the change they wanted to see in the world. Now, after decades of policies, intraschool red tape, and crowd control, most have given up and are awaiting early retirement, custard creams and tea in the staff room the highlight of their day. But the new teacher hasn’t had the benefit of time. In fact, she doesn’t look much older than some of the pupils in the room. A bunch of guys erupt into a cacophony of wolf whistles until she swings round to face them, disdainfully staring them down so that they start to look uncomfortable and glance away. Nonetheless, a stampede ensues when she commands everyone to arrange the desks in a semicircle, and with all the jostling, play fighting, desk slamming, and chair sliding, she is lucky nobody gets injured. Despite the mayhem, Miss Azley appears unperturbed—when everyone finally settles down, she gazes around the scraggly circle and beams.
“That’s better. Now I can see you all properly and you can all see me. I’ll expect you to have the classroom set up before I arrive in the future, and don’t forget that all the desks need to be returned to their places at the end of the lesson. Anyone caught leaving before having done his or her bit will take sole responsibility for the furniture arrangements for a week. Do I make myself clear?” Her voice is firm but there appears to be no malice. Her grin suggests she might even have a sense of humor. The grumbles and complaints from the usual troublemakers are surprisingly muted.
She then announces that we are going to take turns introducing ourselves. After expounding on her love of travel, her new dog, and her previous career in advertising, she turns to the girl on her right. Surreptitiously I slide my watch round to the inside of my wrist and train my eyes on the seconds flashing past. All day I have been waiting for this—final period—and now that it is here I can hardly bear it. All day I’ve been counting down the hours, the lessons, until this one. Now all that’s left is the minutes, yet they seem interminable. I am doing sums in my head, calculating the number of seconds before the last bell. With a start I realize that Rafi, the dickhead to my left, is blabbering on about astrology again—almost all the kids in the room have had their turn now. When Rafi finally shuts up about stellar constellations, there is sudden silence. I look up to find Miss Azley staring directly at me.
“Pass.” I examine my thumbnail and automatically mumble my usual response without looking up.
But to my horror, she doesn’t take the hint. Has she not read my file? She is still looking at me. “Few activities in my lessons are optional, I’m afraid,” she informs me.
There are sniggers from Jed’s group. “We’ll be here all day, then.”
“Didn’t anyone tell you? He don’t speak English—”
“Or any other language.” Laughter.
The teacher silences them with a look. “I’m afraid that’s not how things work in my lessons.”
Another long silence follows. I fiddle with the corner of my notepad, the eyes of the class scorching my face. The steady tick of the wall clock is drowned out by the pounding of my heart.
“Why don’t you start off by telling me your name?” Her voice has softened slightly. It takes me a moment to figure out why. Then I realize that my left hand has stopped fiddling with the notepad and is now vibrating against the empty page. I hurriedly slide my hand beneath the desk, mumble my name, and glance meaningfully at my neighbor. He launches eagerly into his monologue without giving the teacher time to protest, but I can see she has backed down. She knows now. The pain in my chest fades to a dull ache and my burning cheeks cool. The rest of the hour is taken up with a lively debate about the merits of studying Shakespeare. Miss Azley does not invite me to participate again.
When the last bell finally shrieks its way through the building, the class dissolves into chaos. I slam my textbook shut, stuff it into my bag, get up, and exit the room rapidly, diving into the home-time fray. All along the main corridor overexcited pupils are streaming out of doors to join the thick current of people; I am bumped and buffeted by shoulders, elbows, bags, feet. . . . I make it down one staircase, then the next, and am almost across the main hall before I feel a hand on my arm.
“Whitely. A word.”
Freeland, my form tutor. I feel my lungs deflate.
The silver-haired teacher with the hollow, lined face leads me into an empty classroom, indicates a seat, then perches awkwardly on the corner of a wooden desk.
“Lochan, as I’m sure you are aware, this is a particularly important year for you.”
The A-level lecture again. I give a slight nod, forcing myself to meet my tutor’s gaze.
“It’s also the start of a new academic year!” Freeland announces brightly, as if I needed reminding of that fact. “New beginnings. A fresh start . . . Lochan, we know you don’t always find things easy, but we’re hoping for great things from you this term. You’ve always excelled in written work, and that’s wonderful, but now that you’re in your final year, we expect you to show us what you’re capable of in other areas.”
Another nod. An involuntary glance toward the door. I’m not sure I like where this conversation is heading. Mr. Freeland gives a heavy sigh. “Lochan, if you want to get into UCL, you know it’s vital you start taking a more active role in class. . . .”
I nod again.
“Do you understand what I’m saying here?”
I clear my throat. “Yes.”
“Class participation. Joining in group discussions. Contributing to the lessons. Actually replying when asked a question. Putting your hand up once in a while. That’s all we ask. Your grades have always been impeccable. No complaints there.”
My head is hurting again. How much longer is this going to take?
“You seem distracted. Are you taking in what I’m saying?”
“Good. Look, you have great potential and we would hate to see that go to waste. If you need help again, you know we can arrange that. . . .”
I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. “N-no. It’s okay. Really. Thanks anyway.” I pick up my bag, sling the strap over my head and across my chest, and head for the door.
“Lochan,” Mr. Freeland calls after me as I walk out. “Just think about it.”
At last. I am heading toward Bexham, school rapidly fading behind me. It is barely four o’clock and the sun is still beating down, the bright white light bouncing off the sides of cars, which reflect it in disjointed rays, the heat shimmering off the tarmac. The high street is all traffic, exhaust fumes, braying horns, schoolkids, and noise. I have been waiting for this moment since being jolted awake this morning, but now that it is finally here I feel strangely empty. Like being a child again, clattering down the stairs to find that Santa has forgotten to fill up our stockings; that Santa, in fact, is just the drunk on the couch in the front room, lying comatose with three of her friends. I have been focusing so hard on actually getting out of school that I seem to have forgotten what to do now that I’ve escaped. The elation I was expecting does not materialize and I feel lost, naked, as if I’d been anticipating something wonderful but suddenly forgot what it was. Walking down the street, weaving in and out of the crowds, I try to think of something—anything—to look forward to.
In an effort to shake myself out of my strange mood, I jog across the cracked paving stones past the litter-lined gutters, the balmy September breeze lifting the hair from the nape of my neck, my thin-soled sneakers moving soundlessly over the sidewalk. I loosen my tie, pulling the knot halfway down my chest, and undo my top shirt buttons. It’s always good to stretch my legs at the end of a long, dull day at Belmont, to dodge, skim, and leap over the smeared fruit and squashed veg left behind by the market stalls. I turn the corner onto the familiar narrow road with its two long rows of small, run-down brick houses stretching gradually uphill.
It’s the street I’ve lived on for the past five years. We only moved into the council house after our father took himself off to Australia with his new wife and the child support stopped. Before then, home had been a dilapidated rented house on the other side of town, but in one of the nicer areas. We were never well-off, not with a poet for a father, but nonetheless, things were easier in so many ways. But that was a long, long time ago. Home now is number sixty-two Bexham Road: a two-story, three-bedroom, gray stucco cube, thickly sandwiched in a long line of others, with Coke bottles and beer cans sprouting among the weeds between the broken gate and the faded orange door.
The road is so narrow that the cars, with their boarded-up windows or dented fenders, have to park with two wheels on the curb, making it easier to walk down the center of the street than on the sidewalk. Kicking a crushed plastic bottle out of the gutter, I dribble it along, the slap of my shoes and the grate of plastic against tarmac echoing around me, soon joined by the cacophony of a yapping dog, shouts from a children’s soccer game, and reggae blasting out of an open window. My bag bounces and rattles against my thigh and I feel some of my malaise begin to dissipate. As I jog past the soccer players, a familiar figure overshoots the goalpost markers and I exchange the plastic bottle for the ball, easily dodging the pint-size boys in their oversize Arsenal T-shirts as they follow me up the road, yelping in protest. The blond firework dives toward me, a towheaded little hippie with hair down to his shoulders, his once-white school shirt now streaked with dirt and hanging over torn gray trousers. He manages to get ahead of me, running backward as fast as he can, shouting frantically, “To me, Loch, to me, Loch. Pass it to me!”
With a laugh I do, and whooping in triumph, my eight-year-old brother grabs the ball and runs back to his mates, yelling, “I got it off him, I got it off him! Did you see?”
I slam into the relative cool of the house and sag back against the front door to catch my breath, brushing the damp hair off my forehead. Straightening up, I pick my way down the hallway, my feet automatically nudging aside the assortment of discarded blazers, book bags, and school shoes that litter the narrow corridor. In the kitchen I find Willa up on the counter, trying to reach a box of Frosted Cheerios in the cupboard. She freezes when she sees me, one hand on the box, her blue eyes wide with guilt beneath her fringe. “Maya forgot my snack today!”
I lunge toward her with a growl, grabbing her round the waist with one arm and swinging her upside down as she squeals with a mixture of terror and delight, her long golden hair fanning out beneath her. Then I dump her unceremoniously onto a kitchen chair and slap down the cereal box, milk bottle, bowl, and spoon.
“Half a bowlful, no more,” I warn her with a raised finger. “We’re having an early dinner tonight—I’ve got a ton of homework to do.”
“When?” Willa sounds unconvinced, scattering sugar-coated hoops across the chipped oak table that is the centerpiece of our messy kitchen. Despite the revised set of house rules that Maya taped to the fridge door, it is clear that Tiffin hasn’t touched the overflowing trash bins in days, that Kit hasn’t even begun washing the breakfast dishes piled up in the sink, and that Willa has once again mislaid her miniature broom and has only succeeded in adding to the crumbs littering the floor.
“Where’s Mum?” I ask.
I empty my lungs with a sigh and leave the kitchen, taking the narrow wooden stairs two at a time, ignoring Mum’s greeting, searching for the only person I really feel like talking to. But when I spot the open door to her empty room, I remember that she is stuck at some after-school thing tonight and my chest deflates. Instead I return to the familiar sound of Magic FM blasting out of the open bathroom door.
My mother is leaning over the basin toward the smeared, cracked mirror, putting the finishing touches on her mascara and brushing invisible lint off the front of her tight silver dress. The air is thick with the stench of hair spray and perfume. As she sees me appear behind her reflection, her brightly painted lips lift and part in a smile of apparent delight. “Hey, beautiful boy!”
She turns down the radio, swings round to face me, and holds out an arm for a kiss. Without moving from the doorway, I kiss the air, an involuntary scowl etched between my brows.
She begins to laugh. “Look at you—back in your uniform and almost as scruffy as the kiddies! You need a haircut, sweetie. Oh dear, what’s with the stormy look?”
I sag against the door frame, trailing my blazer on the floor. “It’s the third time this week, Mum,” I protest wearily.
“I know, I know, but I couldn’t possibly miss this. Davey finally signed the contract for the new restaurant and wants to go out and celebrate!” She opens her mouth in an exclamation of delight and, when my expression fails to thaw, swiftly changes the subject. “How was your day, sweetie pie?”
I manage a wry smile. “Great, Mum. As usual.”
“Wonderful!” she exclaims, choosing to ignore the sarcasm in my voice. If there’s one thing my mother excels at, it’s minding her own business. “Only a year now—not even that—and you’ll be free of school and all that silliness.” Her smile broadens. “Soon you’ll finally turn eighteen and really will be the man of the house!”
I lean my head back against the doorjamb. The man of the house. She’s been calling me that since I was twelve, ever since Dad left.
Turning back to the mirror, she presses her breasts together beneath the top of her low-cut dress. “How do I look? I got paid today and treated myself to a shopping spree.” She flashes me a mischievous grin as if we were conspirators in this little extravagance. “Look at these gold sandals. Aren’t they darling?”
I am unable to return the smile. I wonder how much of her monthly wage has already been spent. Retail therapy has been an addiction for years now. Mum is desperate to cling on to her youth, a time when her beauty turned heads in the street, but her looks are rapidly fading, face prematurely aged by years of hard living.
“You look great,” I answer robotically.
Her smile fades a little. “Lochan, come on, don’t be like this. I need your help tonight. Dave is taking me somewhere really special—you know the place that’s just opened on Stratton Road opposite the movie theater?”
“Okay, okay. It’s fine—have fun.” With considerable effort I erase the frown and manage to keep the resentment out of my voice. There is nothing particularly wrong with Dave. Of the long string of men my mother has been involved with ever since Dad left her for one of his colleagues, Dave has been the most benign. Nine years her junior and the owner of the restaurant where she now works as head waitress, he is currently separated from his wife. But like each of Mum’s flings, he appears to possess the same strange power all men have over her, the ability to transform her into a giggling, flirting, fawning girl, desperate to spend her hard-earned cash on unnecessary presents for her “man” and tight-fitting, revealing outfits for herself. Tonight it is barely five o’clock and already her face is flushed with anticipation as she tarts herself up for this dinner, no doubt having spent the last hour fretting over what to wear. Pulling back her freshly highlighted blond perm, she is now experimenting with some exotic hairdo and asking me to fasten her fake diamond necklace—a present from Dave—that she swears is real. Her curvy figure barely fits into a dress her sixteen-year-old daughter wouldn’t be seen dead in, and the comment “mutton dressed as lamb,” regularly overheard from neighbors’ front gardens, echoes in my ears.
I close my bedroom door behind me and lean against it for a few moments, relishing this small patch of carpet that is my own. It never used to be a bedroom, just a small storage room with a bare window, but I managed to squeeze a camp bed in here three years ago when I realized that sharing a bunk bed with siblings had some serious drawbacks. It is one of the few places where I can be completely alone: no pupils with knowing eyes and mocking smirks; no teachers firing questions at me; no shouting, jostling bodies. And there is still a small oasis of time before our mother goes out on her date and dinner has to get under way and the arguments over food and homework and bedtime begin.
I drop my bag and blazer on the floor, kick off my shoes, and sit down on the bed with my back against the wall, knees drawn up in front of me. My usually tidy space bears all the frantic signs of a slept-through alarm: clock knocked to the floor, bed unmade, chair covered with discarded clothes, floor littered with books and papers, spilled from the piles on my desk. The flaking walls are bare, save for a small snapshot of the seven of us, taken during our final annual holiday in Blackpool two months before Dad left. Willa, still a baby, is on Mum’s lap, Tiffin’s face is smeared with chocolate ice cream, Kit is hanging upside down off the bench, and Maya is trying to yank him back up. The only faces clearly visible are Dad’s and mine—we have our arms slung across each other’s shoulders, grinning broadly at the camera. I rarely look at the photo, despite having rescued it from Mum’s bonfire. But I like the feel of it being close by: a reminder that those happier times were not simply a figment of my imagination.
Reading Group Guide
A Reading Group Guide to
By Tabitha Suzuma
About the Book
Lochan and Maya live with an alcoholic mother and three younger siblings. When their mother moves out and takes up primary residence with her boyfriend, Lochan and Maya are left to raise their younger siblings alone. Lochan, the eldest, is an exceptional student with high expectations but experiences social anxiety, which prevents him from making friends. Aware of her brother’s anxiety, Maya is protective and rushes to his side when he has anxiety attacks. Lochan, however, is the strong one at home. Fearing social services could intervene and separate them, Lochan and Maya cover for their mother’s absence. As the two deal with the stress and fear of raising three younger siblings and keeping their mother’s absence secret, they are drawn closer and closer together and realize the love they feel for each other bars social acceptance and is illegal.
We all must one day assume responsibility for our own lives; however, often we confront situations in which we must take on someone else’s responsibility. Discuss a time in which you had to take on a task or role unexpectedly that someone else was unable to handle. How did you manage the situation? What feelings did the added responsibility evoke and why? What would you do differently? What would you do the same?
1. Identify the five siblings in the story. What are their initial feelings toward their mother? Toward Lochan and Maya?
2. Characterize “Mum.” Is she a realistic character? Why or why not? Support your response with evidence from the story.
3. Compare and contrast Lochan and Maya. How do their differences complement each other? What bonds them together?
4. Lochan is a stellar student; however, he struggles making friends. What handicaps his ability to develop relationships? How does a teacher attempt to assist him?
5. How do Tiffin, Kit, and Willa deal with their mother’s absence? What emotions does each feel and how does each character evolve as the story progresses?
6. Why does Maya agree to go out with Nico DiMarco? How does she feel about her decision? How does her date affect Lochan? Describe Nico’s reaction to Maya’s rejection.
7. Francie is Maya’s sole friend. What role does she play in the story? How might the story be different without her?
8. Which sibling(s) is/are suspicious of Lochan and Maya’s secret relationship and why?
9. How do Willa and Tiffin deal with their mother’s extended absence? How does Kit deal with it? Why might there be a difference in their responses to her absence?
10. Tension brews between Lochan and Kit. Why is Kit rageful toward Lochan? Is his rage well placed? Why or why not?
11. What happens to Willa’s shoulder and why does Lochan feel guilty about the injury?
12. Kit plans to take a field trip and Willa and Tiffin have an opportunity to stay overnight with friends, leaving Lochan and Maya alone. What happens to Kit’s trip and how does the trip, or lack thereof, expose Lochan and Maya?
13. Lochan experiences feelings of depression and low self-confidence throughout the story. Identify two examples. How does his emotional state set up the ending of the story?
14. Lochan and Maya are “parentified” at an early age. Cite examples from the text that illustrate their role reversal with their mother.
15. Apart from the siblings and Mum, Francie is the only other character who has a significant role in the story. How does limiting the siblings’ interactions with others contribute to the development of their relationships and the story?
Questions for Further Discussion
1. A likeable character isn’t always a “good” character. (Ex. the Joker (Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight)). Is Mum a likeable character? Why or why not? What change in personality traits or behaviors would make her better or worse?
2. Research social services in your state. Under what conditions would a parent lose custody? What happens to youth when they are taken from their parents? Under what circumstances are they reunited? Who is responsible for reporting abuse and neglect to authorities?
3. In order to develop the relationship between Lochan and Maya, the author had to provide an opportunity or a situation for the relationship to develop. The author has Mum drift further and further from the family. How does this behavior contribute to the development of the plot? What other elements/events in the story facilitate or allow their relationship to develop?
4. Lochan experiences social anxiety. Describe his symptoms. What contributes to his anxiety? What lessens it? Do an Internet search of resources that are available for those who experience anxiety and share those with a group.
5. Mum screams when she enters the house and finds Lochan and Maya together. What reactions did you have to her rage? To her as a parent?
Guide written by Pam B. Cole, Professor of English Education & Literacy
Kennesaw State University, Kennesaw, GA
This guide has been provided by Simon & Schuster for classroom, library, and reading group use. It may be reproduced in its entirety or excerpted for these purposes.
This guide was written to align with the Common Core State Standards
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
When I saw this book I laughed after reading the cover..I thought "they really have run out of this to write about". There is NOTHING like this in YA so it wins the award for origionality. I was worried it would be along the lines of "Flowers in the Attic" by Andrews and just be a knockoff but Suzuma makes it something unique and interesting. IT IS GRAPHIC and I would not recommend this to anyone who is younger than 17 AND dont read this if you are in anyway close minded or you will hate it. It takes a very open minded person to take this book for what it is and not judge it instantly. Their love story is heart breaking and instead of feeling disgusted by it you feel sorry for them and hoping everything will work out. Their life is so screwed up because of their mother etc. they find happiness in each other and that becomes the love they have for each other. No 16 & 17 year old should have to help raise 3 younger siblings and for them nothing ever goes right. The ending is heart wrenching but I recommend this book to anyone who can take a little bit of strangeness.
May contain spoilers I was desperately hoping that Lochan would eventually be revealed that he's not biologically related to Maya. I certainly thought so, especially because his eyes are beautifully green and Maya and the rest of the children' are deep blue. Gosh, how I hated the ending!!! Lochan was so sweet, so mature, so loving, so handsome, so kind and responsible; he was too brave, too selfless, it bothered me how it ended up like that for him!!!!! I literally bawled at the end. Too sad, If I knew the ending was like that, I would have never started reading, never cared if this book is that great like people said it is. The ending just didn't do it for me. I was shattered when I learned about Lochan's ending. And I then skimmed through the Epilogue. Too sad to bear. If only there is an alternative ending. I would rate this as my most favorite book.
Lochan Whitely is seventeen, painfully shy, and struggling to take care of his siblings. His mother is a drunk, and spends all of her time working or shacking up with her new boyfriend. She is so desperate to be loved by this man that she has shunned her children. Lochan spends his days getting the kids ready for school, attending his own classes, cooking, cleaning, making sure homework is done, the kids are in bed on time and then getting his own homework done. The only shining light in his life is Maya. His best friend, his soul mate, the love of his life. The problem is, Maya is also his sixteen-year-old sister. Maya helps Lochan any way she can. If it weren't for her, things would fall apart quickly. The two of them struggle to keep their family together, making sure everything is done, the kids are safe and child protective services stays far away. Maya soon realizes that she, too, has feelings for Lochan. The bond they share is strong. To them, they feel more like friends than siblings. They've been through so much together and have acted like parents to their siblings for so long that it is almost like they are a couple. But this type of love between siblings is wrong. Sick and twisted. Something that shouldn't be thought about let alone acted upon. Eventually Maya and Lochan can no longer hide their true feelings for one another, and their romance blossoms into a relationship of fierce desire. They know it is wrong, and they know it can never go as far as they both want it to, but how do you fight something that you both want so badly? I must admit, when I first read the synopsis of this book I was a little put off. How could a book with this subject matter possibly be worth reading? I had the galley, but wasn't sure I could read it until I read some of the reviews. It seemed most everyone who'd read the book was raving about it. I decided to give it a shot. If it grossed me out too bad, I could always stop reading it. I went in expecting to hate it, but what I found was a beautiful story about love. Ms. Suzuma has taken a premise that is shocking and possibly offensive to some and turns it into a story that is heart-achingly beautiful. As I read the book and watched Maya and Lochan realize their feelings for one another and struggle against them, I couldn't help but wish that somehow things could be different so they could actually be together the way they wanted to be. The characters are well-developed, the writing is strong and the story, though repetitive at times, flows well. The author really makes the reader think about what is right and what is wrong as far as love is concerned. The story grabs you and won't let go, and the ending will rip your heart out then feed it to you. Romeo & Juliet have nothing on Maya & Lochan NOTE: This book is definitely not suitable for younger teens or those that are easily offended (Review copy courtesy of Simon & Schuster GalleyGrab)
Disgusting... Shocking... Disturbing... Unnatural... people might label a book about incest, a book like FORBIDDEN. I would have done the same, if I hadn't read it myself. I expected the worst and got the best and heartfelt book I could imagine when thinking of books that deal with taboo topics like incest. This book IS shocking, but in an intense and good way. Being different... In FORBIDDEN we meet the Whitley family, consiting of the children Lochan, Maya, Kit, Tiffin and Willa. Lochan is the troubled, but brilliant big brother, Maya, the brave and strong older sister. Abandoned by their mother they care for their siblings Kit, gang member, always angry and aggressive, Tiffin, the hyperactive and Willa, the youngest and most in need of care and affection. Every single character highly contributes to this novel's uniqueness. What shouldn't be said: "I love you" When I first read the summary of FORBIDDEN I imagined the two protagonists wouldn't know each other. I thought of their first meeting, them falling in love only to discover that they are brother and sister. I was shocked when I realised that they knew about being brother and sister when they fell in love! But their love is so not about being rebellious or provocative, it's all about the circumstances their love develops in. They both care for three siblings and a constantly drunk mother (I could strangle that woman! A monther abandoning their family made me sad and so angry.How can a mother be that careless about her beautiful children?) so they are kind of forced into threir role as parents- mother and father, husband and wife- lovers. Maya and Lochan give each other the feelings of affection und support that are constantly missing in their lives. Something wrong feels so right... I am always a fan of love stories and reading romantic and steamy scenes. But I shouldn't be a fan of brother and sister falling in love, right? They are supposed to stay away from each other and I couldn't help but hope for them to get together, for their love to have a chance, a future. The whole time I knew I shouldn't cheer on their love, I shouldn't want them to touch, kiss or be together, but I DID. If you decide to read FORBIDDEN you have to expect many love and sexual interactions. Suzuma gives us a lot of delicate details without degrading their love or turning their feelings into something disgusting or dirty. Their feelings are natural and therefore they deserve to be written about in detail. Again I craved for more, although I shouldn't! "You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see,but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”~Anonymous Every tiny detail makes this novel perfect, what really touched me and connected me even further with the story was its initial quote. The dual point of view, alternating between Lochan and Maya is the best Suzuma could have applied to tell their love story. Their voices are so unique and touching, fitting perfectly together to tell one of the most tragic love stories of all time. This story is supported by a rich, complex and vivid language that adjusts to each situation like a chameleon, always highlighting each scene's highest potential. Suzuma has a talent for catching a mood and describing an atmosphere. Her language and writing is the rope that's tying you to the swaying boat of FORBIDDEN's story during a storm of emotions and impressions.
Forbidden took me about five or six days to get through, which is quite unusual for me, but Tabitha Suzuma's novel about the most forbidden kind of love - incest - between a brother and a sister is all kinds of uncomfortable and heartbreaking and the kind of book that makes the reader rethink everything they have ever believed. Lochan and Maya are a mere 13 months apart in age and should still be able to behave as young adults, but they can't because they have three younger siblings that they are responsible for. Their alcoholic mother is never around so Kit, Tiffin, and Willa are their responsibility; their children, in a way. Lochan and Maya never really come off as simply siblings. They are best friends, and then more. I'll be honest, Forbidden made me uncomfortable at times. Incest is something that most people - myself included - don't talk about or even think about. I never gave it any thought because it isn't connected to my life. Venturing into Lochan and Maya's growing feelings for one another made me realize just how squirmy it made me feel. It makes them uncomfortable too, which I think is realistic. Neither of them truly wants to feel the way they do, they just do. Maya and Lochan's back and forth about how to handle it, what to do, is their own personal brand of torture. Lochan struggles everyday with his feelings and getting to see that, made their relationship that much more emotional. I can't exactly relate to Lochan and Maya's situation, but I was able to empathize. Lochan is slightly older and reads as a more mature character, taking consequences into consideration, while Maya is more willing to delve into something. In the end though, both come off as selfish, in a way. Neglecting the consequences and diving headfirst into a relationship that puts their futures and the future of their siblings in jeopardy. I won't say that I didn't find Forbidden a little disturbing, because I did. It's incest, but then Suzuma's writing is very sexy, very visceral. She doesn't hold back, so there are some more graphic scenes. Definitely more than just a little kissing. Tabitha Suzuma expertly crafts an intimate relationship that most believe should not exist, that society has deemed unlawful, and made it personal. She made me care so much for the Whitely family - not just Lochan and Maya, but for Kit and Tiffin and Willa and the abandonment that all these children have suffered. After so much pain, I could only think that if this one thing - this love between Lochan and Maya - made them happy, then why can't they have that. Society sees it as wrong and there are repercussions to a sexual relationship, but the fear they go through made me hope for the best for them, while preparing for the worst. That being said, I couldn't help but shy away from the more sexual scenes. This book is certainly not for everyone, but a lot can be gleaned from it. Incest is a word that people don't really throw around a lot. It's a taboo that we want to ignore, but then jump at the chance to scrutinize those in the situation. Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe the notion of love should be looked at in a different light, with a different view, because Forbidden is a love story. An uneasy, somewhat unnerving, tragic, and heartbreaking (I almost cried near the end) love story, but a love story nonetheless. It was an eye-opening and emotional experience for me and I hope others give this book a chance to make them see the world just a little bit diff
A new kind of Romeo and Juliet...this story will open your mind while breaking your heart. This novel caught me a bit off guard at first. I never thought I would find myself reading a book regarding incest... or even enjoying it; but this book took me by storm! It is so beautifully written that it makes you hope that everything works out even if the entire circumstance is taboo.
Even though the ending was super sad(I almost cried), I thought it was realistic and honest. The entire book is sad because it reflects reality: children who are ignored by their parents and who are forced to grow up quick. I thought the story was very complex and addressed the taboo issue of incest rather well, which is hard to do since no one ever likes to talk about it. I think Tabitha did an amazing job with the characterization because I deeply felt for the characters in this story. I felt like I knew Lochan and Maya so well. I love when the writer gets into the character's thoughts and feelings because it brings me closer to them. I also loved the switch of narration between Lochie and Maya. It brought their different perspectives of what transpired throughout the novel. Tabitha also knows how to use descriptions very well and that brought the story to life even more. I really liked how she started the book with the detailed description of the flies on the windowsill. "I gaze at the small, crisp, burned-out black husks scattered across the chipped white paint of the windowsills. It is hard to believe that they were ever alive." Not a lot of YA writers are big on details these days, so it was refreshing to start a book in this way. This book also made me think a lot, too. Why we label certain things taboo, wrong, etc. I also thought it was brave of Tabitha to bring up the assumption that only men can be rapists. This is completely untrue, but unfortunately society likes to carry this belief. As a feminist, it angers me that society only sees men as the rapists and abusers when women inflict pain as well. Anyone can be an abuser; gender doesn't matter in this case. Unfortunately, society likes to think otherwise. Something I also liked about this novel was how it kept me guessing at how it was going to end. It's kind of disappointing when I can figure out the ending in books, but this one had me guessing. I knew it wasn't going to end pretty, but I kept wondering exactly how it was going to end. Even though it was a very sad read, it was also a very good one. I hope Tabitha releases a new book sometime soon because she has incredible talent. *I was lucky enough to receive this book through Goodreads First Reads last year in March.*
This book revolves around the touchy and taboo topic of incest. When I read the overview I the book I was immediately turned off by it. However, after reading the good reviews I decided to give it a chance. I must say, to me, the beginning of this story is quite slow. Not necessarily boring, just slow. This is my only reason for not giving this book 5 stars. Once the love between Maya and Lochan begins to really bloom (around page 120) then it picks up quite a bit. The ending of this book is the best part, it's completely heart-wrenching and made me want to scream and cry. I'd absolutely recommend this book but only for mature readers 16+. This book is very different because it's not your typical love story, so it definitely has to be read with a very open mind.
This book, Wow I dont even know what to say. It is probably one of the most beautiful, heartfelt, and extremely emotional books I have ever read. Suzuma makes you fall deeply in love with the kids and I found myself hoping that Lochan and Maya could have the perfect life they wanted. While the theme of incest can be a little off putting to some people, the way the author handles it makes you quesion love the way Lochan and Maya both do. Be warned though, the ending is extremely sad, so bring tissues. Even though I wish the ending had been different, this book is amazing and will make you think about the characters long after you have finished the book.
I got a UK copy of this, and it is seriously one of the best books I've ever read. It's probably tied for #1 with Cassie Clare's mortal instruments. This book is amazing. I rarely cry or tear up for a book, and bawled like baby during this book. This book is a ride of emotions but it was so absolutely amazing. Defiantly pre-order or buy it!!! You'll be blown away.
Let's go ahead and get it out of the way now. Some people might be inclined to say that Forbidden is a story about incest. I say they're wrong. Forbidden is a story about love. It just so happens that the love is between a brother and a sister. Yes, that is incest. I realize this. To say that Forbidden is only a story about incest, though, wouldn't be doing it justice. Now that we've got that out of the way... I don't have words to do this book justice. I just don't. There's nothing I can say to make anyone understand how amazing I think this book is. Forbidden blew my mind. I went in with high expectations (after reading such good reviews) and I wasn't disappointed. The writing was superb. The storyline was unbelievable. I fell in love with the characters (well, except for Lochan's and Maya's mother, I hated her). The most important part of the entire book for me was the fact that you're always aware of the sibling relationship between Lochan and Maya. What's bigger and more important than that, though, is their love. Even though Lochan and Maya are brother and sister, never once did I feel disgusted or repulsed by their love. It's so incredibly hard to explain and I think that's what makes it such an amazing book. Forbidden expertly blurs the lines between what society has deemed right and wrong between a brother and a sister. And it isn't about sex. It's about love, pure love. This book broke my heart. Absolutely and utterly broke my heart. The ending, oh my gosh. I have no words at all for the ending of Forbidden. Would I recommend this book? Absolutely, without a single doubt. The only thing I could possibly say, though, is if you decide to read it, please keep an open mind. If you read this book with an open mind, I am sure you will love it just as much as I did. Side note: A few people on Goodreads have recommended songs to listen with Forbidden. A review that I read recommended Together by Pet Shop Boys. I would agree that this is the song for Lochan and Maya. (Unfortunately, I seem to have lost the review that makes this suggestion, so I am unable to give credit for it. Sorry!)
at first when i started reading this book i honestly thought it was twisted and sick but then through out the story it was amazing and the end had to be one of the most heartbreaking ending i ever ready. I honestly never cried for book but this one made me cry it was a heartbreaking ending but an amazing book .
Wow. Where to begin. I was disgusted yet intrigued when I read the back cover, but was hooked after the first 3 pages. An amazing an unexpected love story. I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me as I began to understand and deeply sympathize with the characters, but read the hundreds of other reviews that were in the same boat. Suzuma does a beautiful job with character development and you start to really identify with their plight. The love, the drama, the tragedy, the pain and anguish, the suffering, colossal and heartbreaking losses, and even moments of hilarity will fill you with emotion. So real and so powerful.. Definitely the best novel I've read this year.
VERY VERY GOOD BOOK! A MUST READ! I LOVED IT!
This was hands down a very amazing book. Very well written, written with grace and poise of a very intense topic. The ending was sad, but realistic; do wish it was happier in the end though, but to be fair, that's not how the world works. Props to Tabitha for writing this, hope to read more from her!!
This book was a great read. It contains really diffrent type of romance. The most forbidden kind. I had a hard time deciding if i even wanted to read it. Butdo to some of the other reviews i was perswayded to. I iam very glad i did. The book is beautifully written and had a great plot line. The romance was very deep and real.....sad bit exciting (do not read this book ifyou are easily affended by sexual coduct......dont read if you r under 16. It goes deep into the charactors sexual relationship i often found myself blushing durring sertain parts ) The ending really broke my heart didnt see it coming but i dont regret reading it.every teen should.
Her book was well crafted and beautifully written. The book left tears in my eyes. Beautiful story! I highly recommend this!
I cried, I laughed; I fell in love through these pages. I felt the sadness of the characters, and their fears and desires. And worst of all, I understood why they were like that and what they have done. I have been unable to judge them for their mistakes, because in the end, there have been no mistakes at all. They just followed their instincts ... they only tried to be happy.I've been sitting on the edge of the chair many times, thinking about what would happen next. I was breathless. This book is one of the best I've read in my entire life.This is a controversial book, especially the relationship of the two protagonists. Many people will think I¿m morbid or weird ... I keep saying that this kind of relationship is wrong, but seeing it from the point of view of them gave me different thoughts ... I have not changed my mind, but it was impossible for me to criticize them ... I understood their suffering and love. I just got the conclusion... after so much suffering ... why they cannot be together? With the person that they love and just be happy? Recommended for older teens and adults. I give it five stars.
I just finished the book, and my hands are shaking slightly as I type this. This book tackled so many subjects all at once, and yet it still seemed believable (well, up to a certain point, but incest does occur).Let's get this out of the way, because I really hate elephants in the room: This book is about an incestuous relationship between a brother and sister - ages 17 and 18 (by the end of the book). Yes, the majority of the world cringes at the topic of incest, and it's understandable - more accurately, I'd say I'd be creeped out by someone who wasn't grossed out by it, but that's not important. Yes, the main characters are brother and sister, and yes, they partake in an inappropriate relationship, but at the core of this novel, there's a truly believable love story.Maya and Lochan (pronounced like "Logan", I think) have played surrogate-parent to their three brothers and sisters for their alcoholic, absentee mother since their dad abandoned them when Lochan was 12. They, together, have raised their siblings, and manage to run the house while their drunken 40-something mother parades herself for her boyfriend/boss. Together they're an unbeatable team, and they rely heavily on each other to survive the hardships they can't seem to escape.Now, you should know that their relationship wasn't always the way you think. They started as a normal brother and sister, loving each other and just trying to survive. Lochan is an honours student and spends whatever time he's not babysitting pouring over his homework, desperate to keep his marks up so he can secure a scholarship and get through university. He knows he has to be the one to take care of his family, but he also knows he wouldn't be able to do anything were it not for Maya. Lochan, you see, suffers from social anxiety and can hardly answer a teacher's question without having an attack. He remains silent all day, keeping to himself and comforting himself with the thought of going home and being who he truly is. Maya is the polar opposite - she is chatty and popular, and she has loads of friends, but even with these differences, they are best friends. Born just 13 months apart, there was never a time when one was without the other.As things start to escalate, you can really relate to the character's emotions. When Lochan was panicking about his grades, I found myself thinking of the countless nights I'd sacrificed to my academic career - pushing myself, like Lochan did, in a desperate attempt to secure an escape. Maya's anxiety was easy to relate to as well - she's trying so hard to be the mother her siblings need, but things are crumbling all around her. Add to all this the fact that Maya and Lochan are trying to keep their pot-smocking, gang-joining, thirteen-year-old brother out of trouble, and you have a recipe for chaos. I don't want to give away too much, since I know this isn't out yet in Canada and the States, but I have to say this, for those people who think that the story-line isn't believable: Maya and Lochan have been best friends since they were born, and they are equal partners in raising their siblings. Their relationship didn't start off as incestuous, and it certainly wasn't a decision they made: they fell in love. ("You can't help who you fall in love with.") They did not give in to right away, either - they fought it, because they knew it was wrong.I never thought I'd read anything like this, and I certainly never thought I'd come to care about the characters. I keep telling myself that I would have enjoyed the book had it been just another Romeo and Juliet style romance, but the truth is, there is always that questions (which the characters have asked themselves and eachother): had they met under any other circumstances, would they have fallen in love the way they did? Would the novel be as chilling and heart-breaking as it was? In my honest opinion, I'd have to say no (although Tabitha Suzama could definitely have pulled it off). I don't think I would've fo
One of my all time favorites. This book has taught me a lot about love, and I would never forget that love doesn't have boundaries.
Four stars because this book DESTROYED me. Totally. It is revolting, sympathetic and you really come to sympathize with Lochan and Maya, even if like me you think they were undeniabley screwed up mentally. This wasn't a book that lets go of you again easily. You're left thinking about the main subject matter [Consensual incest! :( (hide spoiler)] for days afterwards. It is not a book that rested easily on my mind either. It left me raw because it is pure emotion. I felt really bad for their family situation but the incest was sick. The fact that Suzuma kept me reading even after Lochan and Maya began a physical relationship just testifys as to her gifts as a writer. Looking forward to seeing where she goes next with that pen of hers. Not a book I recommend unless you have a fairly open, easygoing mind and a VERY strong stomach.
I was completely, and wholly immersed in this book right from the start. It left me speechless. Tabitha Suzuma has taken a taboo topic such as incest and crafted a beautifully written, heart-wrenching story.Suzuma blurs the line between right and wrong in this unconventional love story, Forbidden. Lochan and Maya ¿ brother and sister ¿ are forced to grow up, taking on the responsibility of caring for their younger siblings on behalf of their drunken, absentee mother. Playing the roles they do, as a mother and father to their younger brothers and sister, you can almost understand why Lochan and Maya have fallen in love. The hardships they go through, taking care of a household, trying to keep everything afloat, it¿s as if they are a couple already. When they¿ve been thinking that way for so long, it seems almost natural of them to give in to those feelings.I felt an extremely strong bond with these two main characters. I ached for them when they were sad, I felt happy when they were. They were completely real and personable to me and their love for each other was tragic but sweet. Suzuma could have very well exploited their incestuous romance and made it into this disgusting, risqué relationship. But not once did I feel disgusted or uncomfortable reading this because the way she writes them falling in love is so innocent that you truly feel for them and find yourself actually hoping they will find a way to be together.As I said before, Tabitha Suzuma¿s writing is absolute perfection. The way she so seamlessly weaves together the alternating point of views lets you have a look at what¿s going on in each of her characters heads. The writing is raw, beautiful and truly one of a kind. She has the power to make you completely sympathize with her characters and rethink what you thought was right. I wouldn¿t say Forbidden is for everyone, there is descriptive sexual content in it.Going into this book, I knew it wouldn¿t have a happy ending. But how it concluded was completely unexpected and so heartbreaking, although somehow it fit. All that said, Forbidden is a touching, exceptional novel that will stay with me for a long time to come.
I finished this book a few days ago but it took me a little while to write this review because of the feelings and emotions that Forbidden left me with. This book is pure, raw emotion and I still can¿t stop thinking about it.Lochan and Maya have been taking care of their younger brothers and sister ever since their father walked out of the family and their mother started drinking three years ago. Lochan, being the oldest has taken full responsibility for his siblings, while also maintaining a perfect GPA. Maya also helps and the two of them are much more then brother and sister, they are best friends. They are each other¿s other half and they also realize they are in love with each other. Knowing that if this secret ever got out, their brothers and sister would be taken away from them, Lochan and Maya decide that it is best to hide their feelings. They do this until they are not able to anymore.This is the point where you go, ¿how can you read a book about a brother and sister falling in love and having sex!?! That¿s disgusting¿. Well, Forbidden makes you think and feel many different things, but disgust for what Maya and Lochan are doing is never one of them. They two of them need each other, they are both so broken, especially Lochan, that they need each other to be happy and to be whole. I so wanted them to be happy.Forbidden is beautifully written and is told in the view points of both Lochan and Maya. I love when authors do this because I like to know many different sides of a situation. The end of Forbidden will leave you speechless and if you¿re like me, will stay with you for days. This book is brilliant and needs to be read. Do not be discouraged by the subject matter. You will want to read this book, and then you are going to want to read it again.Forbidden is set to be released June 28, 2011
Breathtaking. I have seriously trouble saying something about this book because it was simply ... magnificent. It certainly is not an easy subject matter - incest is something most people don't talk about. (Well, I didn't either).Maya and Lochan live an extremely hard life. Their mother pretty much became an alcoholic when their father left when Lochan was 12. Since then, the two - as the oldest - took care of the three younger children, Kit (14 when the novel takes place), Tiffin (8) and Willa (5). They make sure they do their homework, have enough to eat and don't miss dental appointments, and so on. But mostly, Maya and Lochan make sure that social services does not notice that their mother is hardly ever home.The novel is stunning. If you can wrap your head around the situation, I think it was to be expected that Maya and Lochan would fall in love. They have been the parental figures in the lives of their younger siblings for four years. And they depend on each other so much, everything else maybe would have been even weirder.One thing I really like about this book: Nothing is bound to happen. For example, if the father hadn't left the family, the mother wouldn't have become an alcoholic, thus Maya and Lochan would not have been forced in parental roles. And those "if" situations make life real. Imagine you met your boyfriend/girlfriend in spring and because you wanted to spend so much time with him/her, you ended up not studying and failing a test. Then later in summer, you two have a fight which makes you late to your history class and you get a late slip, which in turn "forces" your parents to ground you. Now, if you hadn't met your boyfriend/girlfriend you wouldn't have failed the test and wouldn't have been late. Or if you had avoided the fight, you wouldn't be grounded. You get the idea. But back to the novel.I had no problem with the incest. It wasn't even that for me. They love if each other so much it hurts me physically, mostly because their situation is so f-ed up that they could never ever be together. The pain of having to stay away, not even being able to kiss in public must be unbearable. There is so much heart and pain and love and despair in this novel, I couldn't sleep after finishing it (although the unspeakable ending may be a reason, too). I kept thinking and turning the idea around in my head. How cursed can two people be? So desperately in love and so close. Yet, not allowed to be in love and thus so much space between them. I could talk for ages about this book. As soon as I have money again I'm going to buy it. It is most certainly the best contemporary novel I have ever read. Ever. In my whole life. So if you think you can adapt to the incest part of it all - and believe me, you should! - you need to buy it. It's an order!
Forbidden is a brave, powerful and complex book about a taboo topic. The story had me breathlessly on edge, completely consumed in the heart-wrenching tale. This book is a story of taboo love between siblings that develops due to their extremely difficult family circumstances. The author writes the story in such a raw, emotional and believable way that I could not help but be sympathetic to the ill-fated couple¿s plight. That the story can elicit such a response with this subject matter is quite an achievement for this author.Seventeen-year-old Lochan has always been close with his sister Maya, who is thirteen months his junior. They have three younger siblings that they have the responsibility of looking after, since their father abandoned the family and their alcoholic mother is seldom around. Their lives are high-stress as they balance high school with running a household and looking after their siblings. Lochan and Maya have always relied on each other and shared the burden that they are saddled with at home. They grow closer as they take on the roles of parents to their siblings, and soon a romantic type of love develops, though they know it can¿t last.I knew a little bit about the story going into it so was prepared for the taboo subject matter. And of course a similar relationship is explored in the infamous Flowers in the Attic. As I was reading, I was filled with dread waiting for the inevitable other shoe to drop in this unorthodox love story. The story alternates points of view between Lochan and Maya, and we get to know the characters well and the complex feelings they have for each other.The sibling¿s chaotic family life is vividly painted. The younger siblings are their own personalities with their own heartbreaking struggles. Their family dynamic is fascinating to watch as we see them hanging on the edge. It¿s incredible that five kids can hold it together alone for so long under the radar. Their mother is a train wreck and it is sad to see the gratitude the older siblings have for her for simply taking the kids out for a few hours once in a while. The family relationship is one of the most compelling aspects of the book. The characters are well written and their emotions hit you straight in the heart.The tension runs high throughout the book as Lochan and Maya struggle with the intense feelings they have for each other. Their desperate relationship is heartbreaking to watch, as you know it can¿t end well. They seem to be meant for each other, which makes it so hard to see their longing and struggle. It definitely made me think about love and relationships in general.Forbidden is one gripping and emotional tearjerker that I won¿t soon forget. It¿s beautifully well written with a bold and passionate story.