Free Refills: A Doctor Confronts His Addiction

by Peter Grinspoon MD

Overview

Free Refills is the harrowing tale of a Harvard-trained medical doctor run horribly amok through his addiction to prescription medication, and his recovery.

Dr. Peter Grinspoon seemed to be a total success: a Harvard-educated M.D. with a thriving practice; married with two great kids and a gorgeous wife; a pillar of his community. But lurking beneath the thin veneer of having it all was an addict fueled on a daily boatload of prescription meds. When the police finally came calling--after a tip from a sharp-eyed pharmacist--Grinspoon's house of cards came tumbling down fast. His professional ego turned out to be an impediment to getting clean as he cycled through recovery to relapse, his reputation, family life, and lifestyle in ruins. What finally moves him to recover and reclaim life--including working with other physicians who themselves are addicts--makes for inspiring reading.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780316382687
Publisher:	Grand Central Publishing
Publication date:	02/16/2016
Sold by:	Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format:	eBook
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Peter Grinspoon, M.D. currently practices as a primary care physician at an inner city clinic in Boston and is on staff at Mass General Hospital. He teaches medicine at Harvard Medical School, and today he is proudly nine years clean.

What People are Saying About This

Dr. Mark Green

Dr. Grinspoon bravely lays his complex soul bare as he tumbles from Harvard star doctor to addicted criminal. In this deeply affecting ride through the contradictions of addiction, we cringe at his arrogance, resentment, and self-justification while loving his compassion, commitment, and gratitude. We laugh at his cynical disdain for the simplistic platitudes and punitive inanity of the recovery world, but feel his pain as he learns humility and permits his best self to emerge. It's a process of discovery I hope to encourage in my patients, and provides hope without sugar-coating. This is an important book for doctors and patients that blurs the boundaries because it is so fundamentally human. --Dr. Mark Green, Addictions Specialist at The Psych Garden

Editorial Reviews

"[A] very honest story of dependence and redemption."—New York Post

"When two detectives showed up at Peter Grinspoon's medical practice informing him he was being charged with fraudulently obtaining controlled substances, he knew he was screwed. Not because he was being falsely accused, but because it was true. In Free Refills, Grinspoon takes us down into the special hell that is addiction-in his case it was a raging addiction to opiates that, conveniently, he could write his own prescriptions for. With sharp, dark wit, Grinspoon maintains his sense of humor in the face of near defeat, as he struggles to get (and stay) clean while his life comes apart at the seams. Free Refills is a self-deprecating, brutally honest, and surprisingly hilarious read. You can't help but root for the good doctor."—Dan Lyons, author of Disrupted and co-writer/producer of HBO's Silicon Valley

"Dr. Grinspoon bravely lays his complex soul bare as he tumbles from Harvard star doctor to addicted criminal. In this deeply affecting ride through the contradictions of addiction, we cringe at his arrogance, resentment, and self-justification while loving his compassion, commitment, and gratitude. We laugh at his cynical disdain for the simplistic platitudes and punitive inanity of the recovery world, but feel his pain as he learns humility and permits his best self to emerge. It's a process of discovery I hope to encourage in my patients, and provides hope without sugar-coating. This is an important book for doctors and patients that blurs the boundaries because it is so fundamentally human."—Dr. Mark Green, addictions specialist at Psych Garden

"Free Refills is an honest and brave account of the ups and downs of addiction and recovery, and a reminder that sometimes our darkest moments can teach us the greatest lessons."—Dan Marshall, author of Home is Burning

"Enlightening and intimate, this book will hold the attention of medical professionals, addiction counselors, and those affected by substance abuse."—Library Journal

"[A] candid and darkly witty memoir that not only tells his story but shines a light on the growing problem of substance use disorders in the medical profession."—Elementsbehavioralhealth.com

From the Publisher

02/01/2016
Harvard University-educated physician Grinspoon's first book describes his addiction to prescription painkillers. He describes his childhood, jobs as a young adult, and troubled marriage, and also reflects on his choices and behavior, explaining the origins of his abuse and how he took advantage of the system in order to obtain more pills. The memoir provides an insider's view of the support benefits geared toward health-care professionals who struggle with addiction as well as the ways in which Grinspoon grapples with issues of class and privilege during his visits to court, encounters with his probation officer, and as a member of recovery groups. Once a practicing physician again, he discovers a new skill for identifying and treating addicts such as himself. VERDICT Enlightening and intimate, this book will hold the attention of medical professionals, addiction counselors, and those affected by substance abuse.—Meghan Dowell, Beloit Coll., WI

Library Journal

2015-11-18
The memoir of a doctor whose addiction derailed his career offers flashes of illumination amid clouds of defensiveness and denial. If there really is a textbook case of a delusional addict, the narrative perspective here could provide that textbook. Early on, Grinspoon admits that "the problem at this point was that I was still blaming everyone and everything else for what I was going through: Work was so stressful, H. was such an unforgiving bitch, and it was exhausting being a parent to two small children." What he was going through was a felony arrest for writing false prescriptions for narcotics to feed his addiction. Work was his role as a primary care physician, one in which he showed little empathy and seemed to receive less satisfaction: "It's not human nature to be that caring all day long." H. is, of course, his wife, and his attitude toward her (and hers toward him) seems harsher as the narrative progresses, though he occasionally admits that being married to a lying, self-sabotaging addict was no walk in the park. Their children ultimately provide more than exhaustion, though being caught between two parents who couldn't stand each other couldn't be much fun for them. Grinspoon never developed much appreciation for the lawyer who navigated his way through rehab, suspension, and a return to the practice of medicine; felt unfairly targeted by drug tests that he knew he couldn't fail but did; and never showed anything but contempt for 12-step programs ("I didn't want anything more to do with AA for the next thousand lifestyles"). The author resents the judgment passed by alcoholics who think they are somehow morally superior to drug addicts, yet he passes judgment on practically everyone the narrative encompasses. His recovery from addiction seems to end on a positive note, but every addict knows that a positive test is just one slip away. Grinspoon's story is instructive, with readers potentially learning more than the author has.

Kirkus Reviews