Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss

Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss

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Overview

Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss by Adriel Booker

Though one in four pregnancies ends in loss, miscarriage is shrouded in such secrecy and stigma that the woman who experiences it often feels deeply isolated, unsure how to process her grief. Her body seems to have betrayed her. Her confidence in the goodness of God is rattled. Her loved ones don't know what to say. Her heart is broken. She may feel guilty, ashamed, angry, depressed, confused, or alone.

With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious clichés and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for dads and loved ones.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780801075810
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 05/01/2018
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 149,383
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Adriel Booker has spent the last seventeen years serving in global missions as an international speaker, writer, photographer, leadership coach, and mentor. Through her popular blog, www.adrielbooker.com, she has built a loyal readership of active followers while exploring topics related to family and parenting, practical spirituality, missions, and maternal health and women's issues. Adriel leads The Love A Mama Collective, a movement working to mobilize everyday mothers toward empowering women in the developing world through safe birth initiatives, and coleads an inner city YWAM community in the heart of Sydney, Australia, with her Aussie husband, Ryan, and their three young "AusMerican" boys.

Table of Contents

Foreword 11

Introduction: Dear Grieving Mom 15

Part I Blindsided: Pummeled by the Force of Loss 21

1 Among the Fields of Gold 23

2 Hello, Deep Dive 33

Part II Overboard: When You Think You Might Drown 41

3 The Spectacle of Heaven 43

4 From the Dust 53

Part III Adrift: Navigating the Waves of Grief 63

5 Diary of a Broken Heart 65

6 A Thousand Shades of Grief 75

Part IV Marooned: The Isolation of Bereavement 87

7 The Eighteen-Inch Journey 89

8 An Invitation to Liberation 101

9 Thistle Cove 111

Part V Anchored: A God Who Can Be Trusted 123

10 A Crisis of Faith or a Catalyst for Grace? 125

11 Whose Fault Is This, Anyway? 135

Part VI Onward: Adjusting Your Sails for Uncharted Waters 145

12 The Business of Tear-Wiping 147

13 And Then She Laughed 159

Acknowledgments 169

Appendixes

A A Letter for Grieving Dads 173

B Remembering Your Baby (Memorial Ideas) 179

C Helping Your Child Process Grief after Miscarriage 183

D Pregnancy after Loss 191

E Caring for a Friend after Miscarriage 199

F Resources and Support 207

Notes 211

Customer Reviews

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Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss 4.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 21 reviews.
Anonymous 7 months ago
Shortly after I received a book about parenting, my husband and I learned that our first pregnancy ended shortly after it began. In the wake of the loss of our pregnancy, I could not bring myself to read and review pages filled with stories of parenting and advice for such a journey. Somewhat hesitantly, I asked Bethany House if they published any books on miscarriage. Coincidentally, or rather divinely, another division of the publishing company recently released Grace Like Scarlett: grieving with hope after miscarriage and loss by Adriel Booker. Reading Booker’s words brought a great deal of encouragement to my mind and my heart as I encountered varying emotions in my own grief. Booker writes candidly; readers may be taken aback by the first chapter of Grace Like Scarlett as she compares aspects of grief to the physical process of miscarriage. However, this candor also allows readers to identify with points throughout Booker’s experiences. Grieving the loss of a baby, even in the earliest stages of pregnancy, is an unwelcome, unexpected, and unclear journey. I reread Grace Like Scarlett feeling that Booker described thoughts and emotions that I could not seem to put into words. My tears flowed when I read chapter 5, “Diary of a Broken Heart.” There Booker writes “Miscarriage is painful and your grief is warranted. You loved hard, so you’ll grieve hard too. And that’s okay. Consider this your permission to feel what you feel without trying to run away.” Booker frequently references Scripture and points readers to God as the source for strength and hope when honest, raw questions remain unanswered. She does not rely on trite answers. She also includes a variety of resources at the end of Grace Like Scarlett. For all of these reasons and more, I will recommend Grace Like Scarlett to other women who experience miscarriage and infant loss. Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in order to write an honest, unbiased review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
Erin Whitmer 9 months ago
If only I'd had this book a decade ago when I lost my first baby. Or even the second time, just a few months ago, when I lost a second baby. Miscarriage is beyond hard, and it can be crippling. It's a unique sense of loss that those who haven't experienced just can't quite grasp. My friends would forget quickly that I was grieving a loss because that loss was intangible to everyone in the outside world. Grace Like Scarlett addresses the spectrum of complicated emotions that follow the loss of a pregnancy, and she does it with such grace and beauty that you feel as though you're curled up on the couch with a warm cup of tea and a friend who is willing to go deep with you without judgement. Adriel becomes that friend in this book, and she's a friend you'll grow to love. She validates your grief and myriad emotions while also filling you with Scripture and promises that remind you that you won't always be in this dark place. God is too good for that. If you've lost a baby and you're struggling, read this book. If you have a friend who has lost a baby, buy her this book and get one for yourself. Learn, as Adriel did, how to find comfort in the sorrow and joy in the grace.
KayteeCobb 10 months ago
Adriel's book is powerful and tough. It is convicting and sweet, like holding hands with a friend. This book speaks to the grief, the loss, the doubt, the hurt of losing a baby from Adriel's personal experience of 3 miscarriages, as well as the survey responses she collected from hundreds of women. As someone who has walked this road myself, I didn't really expect to find *my voice* represented in these pages, but nevertheless, I found myself here, reliving some of the pain and grief of my own miscarriage, as well as the anxiety I faced afterward when I got pregnant again. Not that I would wish this pain on anyone, ever, but if you are walking this road or know someone who is, this is a beautiful and compassionate way to process your grief.
LisaPClement 11 months ago
When I had a miscarriage 38 years ago there weren’t many resources to help someone through this kind of grief. Grace like Scarlett is that gift for women who have experienced the loss of a baby at some point in their pregnancy. It also is a book with truth about loss that can help in other areas of life where you have lost someone you love. The author shares her stories of pregnancy loss and healing in this beautifully written book. Another aspect of this book I find very valuable is the discussion on the theology of loss. So many people say that God will never give us more than we can handle but that isn’t true based on scripture. He says he will always be with us through the pains that come from life but he never promises it will be easy. I am thankful she takes time to go over this area. I believe it opens the mind to be able to make it through loss in a stronger way. I received an advanced copy of this book and am giving my honest opinion.
Anonymous 11 months ago
Having suffered a devastating miscarriage, I needed this book three years ago. The grief I felt was overwhelming, the anger I felt was unexpected, and the loneliness I felt was unmatched. Adriel is compassionate, vulnerable, and honest. She speaks truth through her own journey of grief. If you are looking for hope and healing, look no further. Grace Like Scarlett is like having a friend who not only understands what you are going through, but also the importance of going through it. This book will bring you hope.
summer_no9 11 months ago
This book was an amazing writing and compelling to read with also encourage for all the people that had been lose someone that your love specially for woman that had their losing the grief of a pregnancy. This book will acknowledges and offer to hope walk through to finding the way to see Jesus in the shadows of sorrow because you are not alone. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “I received complimentary a copy of this book from Baker Books Bloggers for this review”.
summer_no9 11 months ago
This book was an amazing writing and compelling to read with also encourage for all the people that had been lose someone that your love specially for woman that had their losing the grief of a pregnancy. This book will acknowledges and offer to hope walk through to finding the way to see Jesus in the shadows of sorrow because you are not alone. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “I received complimentary a copy of this book from Baker Books Bloggers for this review”.
Michelle Diercks 11 months ago
Grace like Scarlett is an incredible gift to those who are trying to navigate and wade through the grief of pregnancy loss. Through pages of this book, Adriel becomes a mentor and a friend who gives you an honest and raw view of her grief journey through three pregnancy losses. In her story, she reaches out to give you hope and healing as you deal with the heartache of losing your baby. Whether you just experienced the loss of your baby or it has been many years, you will want to read this book. It will minister and encourage your heart. In the pages of this book, God will hold you close to His heart and give you the space to work through your grief. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage and so I would recommend this book to everyone. Dads, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Friends, counselors, and clergy. This book contains valuable resources to help those who grieve and for the ones who love them to be able to walk alongside them.
SMcKeeman 12 months ago
I wish that I would have had this book when I walked through stillbirth and miscarriage. Adriel is honest and raw about the experience of pregnancy loss and the grief it entails. Anyone who has journeyed through suffering, loss, and grief knows that doubt most often surfaces during these times. She doesn't sweep doubt under the rug, but shows how it can be a way to deeper faith. I will be buying many copies of this book to give to friends, and I'm recommending it to others I know in ministry and counseling for them to encourage and guide women through difficult times. There are not enough resources out there on pregnancy loss and I am thankful that Adriel has created an intimate and relatable book for women to connect with.
AbundanceFarmer 12 months ago
I read these words of a women who has grieved three babies, and I recognize the color of pain-meets-love in her story. Her words aren't just for those who have journeyed through similar devastation. I, myself, have never lost a child to miscarriage. Yet, each page spoke to me. These words are deeply learned truths, gentle and restorative to any of us who have lost or felt lost. This is a book, that when you hold it, holds you in return. It is a part of my collection of treasured words, that fill me up whenever I return to them.
Philipp Mantler 12 months ago
I've been following Adriel's blog for over 5 years, so I was thrilled to hear she wrote a book. I was so excited to read “Grace Like Scarlett”, not only because Adriel is an excellent writer, but because it is such an important book on an extremely common issue (1 in 4 women have had a miscarriage), one that has not been fully talked about in the open and as a result many women feel they have to grieve alone in silence. No more! This book is a warm compassionate hug, from someone who's been there, speaking with beautifully biblical sound truth, both raw and real. Although I have not personally had a miscarriage yet, but I have numerous close friends who have. In the past I've often struggled with knowing what to say or do and been paralyzed with fear of saying the wrong thing. Now I feel informed, like I know how to be supportive and empathetic. I wish I could give “Grace Like Scarlett” to all my friends! This book is a great resource for health care providers, counsellors, pastors, anyone in women's ministry, and of course for women who've experienced a miscarriage or any kind of pregnancy or baby loss, whether it be 20 years ago or 20 days ago. This book helps and heals. It will speak to you in whatever grief you find yourself, meet you where you're at, and join you on the journey to hope again. Disclaimer: I received an advance reader copy from the publisher.
Ruth Ellis 12 months ago
I had a miscarriage in 2015, and even though I knew so many friends who had been through miscarriages of their own, I felt so, so alone in my grief. Three years later, I'm reading Grace Like Scarlett, and it's like walking through it all again - this time with a close friend and mentor holding my hand and guiding me gently into the arms of Jesus. Adriel's story is different from mine, but she speaks truth into the darkness that shrouds the topic of miscarriage and grief. I'm finding myself in her writing; I'm finding more of God there, too, and it's like cleaning dirt out of a wound. It hurts... I have tears streaming down my face with every chapter I read, but it's healing me, and after every chapter, I notice 3 things: * I have learned something about myself, * I have learned something about God, and * I don't feel so alone anymore. This book is a MUST READ for everyone! If you've had a miscarriage, it offers healing, hope, and a way through the darkness. If you've never had a miscarriage, it offers insight and understanding into a topic that is so rarely talked about and even less understood. I wish I'd had this book 3 years ago. I wish everyone around me had already read it.
JanR 12 months ago
Grace Like Scarlett is such an important book. Filled with beautiful words of comfort, it's a gift both for those who have experienced loss and those who wish to support others in their loss. I wish I'd had this book years earlier when my sister and friends suffered miscarriages. I would've been much better equipped to support them in their grief and pain. Adriel poignantly tells the story of her own personal journey through three miscarriages and tenderly laces it with hope and beauty amid sorrow. She invites us to place our hands in God's hand, however faltering our steps might be. She encourages us to find rest and strength in Jesus, secure in knowing He is never offended by hard questions or the rawness of grief's pain and anger. Adriel also includes amazing resources in the back of the book. These include a letter for grieving dads written by her husband Ryan, memorial ideas for remembering your baby, helping your child process grief after miscarriage, pregnancy after loss, and caring for a friend after miscarriage. (I received an advance reader copy from the publisher.)
Anonymous 12 months ago
I want to get this book in the hands of every mom I know. Adriel’s story is raw, vulnerable, and honest. She does not sugar-coat the hard reality of losing a baby to miscarriage. But she also offers hope for anyone who has ever wondered, “Where is God in my suffering?” I have not experienced a miscarriage, but I have struggled to understand God’s role in other instances of grief and suffering—illness and death, postpartum depression, scary diagnoses. I learned so much about grief and how to find Jesus in the midst of it. I can’t recommend it highly enough!
writerbytheriver 12 months ago
The kind and compassionate words Adriel Booker wrote in Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving With Hope After Miscarriage And Loss, will weave their way into the heart and touch a place inside a woman, with comfort and solace, who is grieving from a miscarriage and loss, even if it has been many years later, like it did with me, and still has pieces of the pain that she doesn’t know what to do with. Adriel paints empathy with a paintbrush of words as she comes close to the brokenhearted, talks about navigating the waves of grief that inevitably will come, and writes about how to lean in closer to God and trust Him to heal their broken heart. It is a book filled with gentle and honest words to give to a friend who has lost a child. It also will teach someone who has not experienced the loss of a child just what a woman goes through emotionally after that loss and how to comfort and grieve with someone else.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Have you ever read something and wondered how your thoughts ended up in someone else’s book? That’s what happened several times for me while reading Adriel Booker’s “Grace Like Scarlett.” I watched a video where she explained her three reasons for writing this book. The first reason was to let women who have miscarried know that their grief is valid. The second reason was to explain the theology of suffering. And the third reason was to dispel the myth that a crisis of faith has to be a bad thing. Did she accomplish those goals? Most definitely; yes! When reading the chapters on grief, I found myself wishing that I had had this book to read right after my miscarriage. Adriel reminds us that it’s normal to feel so many conflicting emotions, that grief isn’t linear, and that although there isn’t a “right “way to grieve, there is a way to “grieve well.” She describes all of the “junk” that grief exposes within our hearts… guilt and shame, even jealousy and comparison. Reading the book feels like a friend is guiding you through the tough issues like forgiveness and being forgiven. Her theology of suffering explains that God DOES give us more than we can handle. However, he has promised he will be with us through it all. She talks about the incarnation of Jesus that we see in the Bible and guides us in how we can be the community that others need by entering into the pain of those around us. When discussing a potential crisis of faith, Adriel honestly explains the relationship between faith and doubt, who God is, the purpose of grace, and where God is when we’re suffering. She reminds us that even the heroes from the Bible questioned God, and doubt can make our faith stronger. Ultimately, our suffering wasn’t his plan, but he will use it to redeem our lives… if we’ll let him. My miscarriage was two years ago. I didn’t know if this book would help me, but I bought it with a hopeful heart. Whether your miscarriage was yesterday or 50 years ago, I firmly believe you will be blessed by this book. I know I was. It felt like the friend that I wish had walked with me through my experience. If you’ve never experienced miscarriage, I believe that this book can help you through other types of grief as well. If you’re looking to walk with a friend after her miscarriage journey, the materials in the appendix will help you to bless her as well.
LaurenDV More than 1 year ago
This is the book I wish I had had when I experienced my miscarriages… Even though I have journeyed quite a ways since then, Adriel’s book has been a balm to my soul and heart. It has been comforting and reassuring to know that I am not the only one to have felt devastated and angry and even questioning where God is. I find myself nodding my head and thinking “I thought that too,” or “I felt that too,” or “I totally get that.” It has helped me put words to my grief and also to my hope. This is the book I will buy and recommend over and over, when the time is right, to anyone walking through the grief of miscarriage.
AnnieRim More than 1 year ago
While Grace Like Scarlett is framed around Adriel Booker's own miscarriages, this is a book that is about loss and redemption. It's for women who have experienced miscarriage, women who support friends who have lost babies, and anyone who recognizes that on the other side of loss and grief is redemption and hope. Booker weaves her own story, practical help and resources, and an overarching reminder that God's picture is much bigger than our own in this hope-filled memoir.
KBShank80 More than 1 year ago
With a mix of honesty and compassion, Adriel Booker shares her journey through hope and grief. In Grace Like Scarlett, Booker recounts the trauma of facing 3 consecutive miscarriages and how she found hope in the midst of heartache. Any woman who has ever faced pregnancy loss will find comfort and companionship in Booker’s words. Like a close friend, she allows you to walk with her as she grieves her 3 precious children. She puts words to the pain you feel, but are afraid to speak aloud. Nothing is too hard or too raw. Booker encourages you to openly grieve your loss. No matter where you find yourself in your journey through grief, she offers helpful prompts to honor your grief. Her husband also includes a special letter to fathers who have lost their children. I love their acknowledgment of the men who all-to-often are forgotten. Before reading this book, I didn’t understand the complexity of emotional pain caused by pregnancy loss. Booker’s story helped me identify my role in the lives of women who too often suffer in silence. She offered meaningful insight and suggestions for those who are able to support those impacted by this extreme loss. Most importantly, Grace Like Scarlett offers insight into the grief process and suggestions that can help anyone. Her story includes miscarriage, but her words apply to anyone who grieves any loss. If you have struggled to find a path through your pain, this book is for you. Interwoven throughout is the truth that God was with her always. Even in her darkest moments and when she asked the hardest questions, she shares how faith carried her through. Now, she shares her tender story of grief and hope to help others.
MelissaGH More than 1 year ago
Amazing, honest, heartfelt, emotional and encouraging book. Loss of any kind is dealt with by each person in their own unique ways. There is hope in sharing our journeys with others. This is a book that needs to be read. I received a copy from the author and this is my personal honest opinion. No review was required.
Sarah_Damaska More than 1 year ago
Chances are if you’re reading reviews for this book you’ve either experienced a miscarriage or you’re supporting a friend who has. And if you’re either one of these people, I can wholeheartedly tell you YES! BUY THE BOOK. I have not personally had a miscarriage, but I have lost a child to death. I talk and write and read a lot about grief. I’ve walked with many through miscarriage and loss. So I am really confident in my recommendation of this book, because I know it will transform the reader from hopelessness to hopeful. Adriel is raw and honest and she draws readers into her journey. Somehow by sharing her story, she gives others permission to live theirs. “I’ve come to learn that grief must be swallowed,” she says. “Not to make it disappear but to let it absorb into us, become a part of us, change us, and nurture us from the inside out. It will change the way you relate to others, the way you watch the news, read your Bible, pray. It will change your expectations of yourself, your marriage, your work, your parenting, the way you see God, even the metaphors you use for your life. In all of these things, turn toward Jesus and let grief shape you like Him. This, too, is spiritual formation.” This book is broken into six parts, easy chapters that are designed to give you just a little bit to chew on at a time (which is imperative when you’re grieving a loss). There is a hefty section of appendixes at the end that include resources, how to help children through loss, ways to remember babies, ideas on how to be a good friend after miscarriage and a special section for grieving dads. This book is like a friend. It’s a safe place to grieve and ask hard questions. May you be as blessed by Adriel’s words as I was.