Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: Essays
A comedic look at blind ambition, stubborn optimism, and perseverance

Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won't drop dead. Her experiences are a case study in the human spirit's tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. After years toiling in the entertainment industry, hearing "Almost," "So close," or "Not quite" on a loop, she turned rejection into fuel and humor into a survival tool.

Some of Dani's stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other episodes explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she's describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple's resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani offers gentle shoves—inspiration wrapped in cautionary tales—for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.

Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? delivers tales of universally awkward, misunderstood, and human failings through wit, pop culture, and Dani's losses and wins (mostly losses). Her humor—sometimes dark and distorted but always self-aware—is a salve for the messiness and absurdities of life. Dani's candid essays speak to the hopeful in all of us.
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Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: Essays
A comedic look at blind ambition, stubborn optimism, and perseverance

Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won't drop dead. Her experiences are a case study in the human spirit's tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. After years toiling in the entertainment industry, hearing "Almost," "So close," or "Not quite" on a loop, she turned rejection into fuel and humor into a survival tool.

Some of Dani's stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other episodes explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she's describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple's resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani offers gentle shoves—inspiration wrapped in cautionary tales—for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.

Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? delivers tales of universally awkward, misunderstood, and human failings through wit, pop culture, and Dani's losses and wins (mostly losses). Her humor—sometimes dark and distorted but always self-aware—is a salve for the messiness and absurdities of life. Dani's candid essays speak to the hopeful in all of us.
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Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: Essays

Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: Essays

by Dani Alpert
Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: Essays

Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: Essays

by Dani Alpert

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Overview

A comedic look at blind ambition, stubborn optimism, and perseverance

Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won't drop dead. Her experiences are a case study in the human spirit's tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. After years toiling in the entertainment industry, hearing "Almost," "So close," or "Not quite" on a loop, she turned rejection into fuel and humor into a survival tool.

Some of Dani's stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other episodes explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she's describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple's resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani offers gentle shoves—inspiration wrapped in cautionary tales—for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.

Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? delivers tales of universally awkward, misunderstood, and human failings through wit, pop culture, and Dani's losses and wins (mostly losses). Her humor—sometimes dark and distorted but always self-aware—is a salve for the messiness and absurdities of life. Dani's candid essays speak to the hopeful in all of us.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940184333632
Publisher: River Grove Books
Publication date: 08/12/2025
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
File size: 1 MB

About the Author

Dani Alpert is the author of the memoir The Girlfriend Mom, winner of the 2020 Story Circle Network Gilda Award for comedy, honoring Gilda Radner. She spent decades working in theater, television, and film, performing, writing, and directing. She is a Pilates instructress and an advocate for the Down syndrome community. Dani’s first headshot was her mugshot, taken after she was arrested for tagging when she was a juvenile. She’s been trying to reclaim those glory days ever since.
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