"Hilarious yet soul-shaking." —Black Enterprise
The fearless comedy legend—one of the “Original Kings of Comedy”—hilariously breaks down the wisdom of white people, advice that has been killing black folks in America for four hundred years and counting.
200 years ago, white people told black folks, “‘I suggest you pick the cotton if you don’t like getting whipped.” Today, it’s “comply with police orders if you don’t want to get shot.” Now comedian/activist D. L. Hughley–one the Original Kings of Comedy–confronts and remixes white people’s “advice” in this “hilarious examination of the current state of race relations in the United States” (Publishers Weekly).
In America, a black man is three times more likely to be killed in encounters with police than a white guy. If only he had complied with the cop, he might be alive today, pundits say in the aftermath of the latest shooting of an unarmed black man. Or, Maybe he shouldn’t have worn that hoodie … or, moved more slowly … not been out so late … Wait, why are black people allowed to drive, anyway?
This isn’t a new phenomenon. White people have been giving “advice” to black folks for as long as anyone can remember, telling them how to pick cotton, where to sit on a bus, what neighborhood to live in, when they can vote, and how to wear our pants. Despite centuries of whites’ advice, it seems black people still aren’t listening, and the results are tragic.
Now, at last, activist, comedian, and New York Times bestselling author D. L. Hughley offers How Not to Get Shot, an illustrated how-to guide for black people, full of insight from white people, translated by one of the funniest black dudes on the planet. In these pages you will learn how to act, dress, speak, walk, and drive in the safest manner possible. You also will finally understand the white mind. It is a book that can save lives. Or at least laugh through the pain.
Black people: Are you ready to not get shot! White people: Do you want to learn how to help the cause? Let’s go!
|Product dimensions:||5.50(w) x 7.20(h) x 0.80(d)|
About the Author
Doug Moe is the co-author of two books for D.L. Hughley: “Surrender, White People!: Our Unconditional Terms for Peace” and the New York Times Bestseller “How Not to Get Shot: And Other Advice From White People” (“A satirical but apt addition to the culture’s fraught conversation about race.” - New York Times Book Review). His book “Man Vs Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting” was named one of Amazon’s Best Humor Books of 2017. He’s a longtime performer and instructor at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. On TV, you've maybe seen me in "Inside Amy Schumer," "30 Rock" or "Difficult People," among other places.
Table of Contents
Part I How Not to Get Shot by the Police 17
1 Comply with Police Orders 19
2 Don't Talk Back 29
3 Don't Break the Law! 39
4 You Have to Understand: Cops Are Scared 51
5 Do Be an Angel 61
6 Don't Drive like a Suspect 73
7 If You Do Get Shot, Don't Rush to Judgment 81
8 The Real Way to Not Get Shot by the Police 93
Part II How to Look 97
9 Don't Match the Description 99
10 How to Dress Less Threatening 115
11 Don't Have Gang Tattoos 123
12 How to Do Your Hair 127
Part III How to Act 135
13 How to Be Nice and Quiet 137
14 What Kind of Music Should You Listen To? 141
15 Stop Making White People Say the N-Word 155
16 How to Not Come from a Single-Parent Household 163
17 What to Name Your Kids 167
18 How to Get a Job 177
19 Stop Taking Handouts 185
20 How to Move into a White Neighborhood 193
Part IV Understanding White People 201
21 What Kind of Black People Do White People Like? 203
22 Your Bill of Rights 209
23 "I'm Not Racist, I Have Black Friends" 215
24 How to Not Be a Reverse Racist 219
25 How to Not Play the Race Card 235
26 End White-on-White Crime! 243
27 How to Make White Food 245
Part V Tidbits of Advice for White People from Black People 249
28 It's Hard Being White, but Try to Make Do 251
29 Pay Attention to Signs 255