2017 Reader's Favorite Bronze Medal Award Winner. When you have a baby girl you envision many things for her life but becoming a boy is not one of them. This book will benefit anyone who would like to learn more about gender dysphoria and is an absolute must-read for a parent, relative or friend of a gender-questioning or transgender person. Written by Mom, this deeply personal parenting memoir is about discovering the son she never knew she had. It is a journey between genders you won't want to miss.
"I Promised Not to Tell is quite possibly one of the most important books to date on a very controversial and little understood social issue: transgenderism. If you are facing such a situation with your child, I urge you to read this book. Both you and your child need what Cheryl has so kindly shared with readers and parents. I loved I Promised Not to Tell. Couldn't put it down. Highly recommended reading." ~ Viga Boland for Reader's Favorite - 5 Star Review.
What is unique about this story is that it follows one transgender child from birth through age eighteen. You get a real sense of what this family went through. Their son's desperate effort to comply with societal gender norms, a suicide attempt, a family member's struggle with God and transgerderism, a heartbreaking death and much more. Every step of their son's transition from female to male (FTM) is discussed in detail, including hormone replacement therapy and sex reassignment surgeries. This book shares it all in the hopes of making a difference in what seems like a harsh and cruel world for transgender people.
In the beginning, this mother didn't even know there was such a thing as a transgender person. There was a so much to learn. She went from knowing nothing at all about the subject to becoming significantly more knowledgeable. The journey this family took is spelled out in the pages of this book in the hope that it offers encouragement, support, and wisdom to others. Evans shares many of the resources she used along with her own family’s journey and extends to you a friendship that goes far beyond the pages of this book.
This is a uniquely written and thought-provoking true story which transitions beautifully between the family’s personal journey and some of the larger societal issues that face the transgender community today.
Even if you don't know a transgender person, this book will make you feel as if you do. If you have been curious about this topic this mother's story will certainly provide you with great insight. Perhaps you are a transgender person and looking for a book that can help you explain and introduce the topic to your family and friends. This book can help pave the way for acceptance and understanding. I Promised Not to Tell - Raising a transgender child is an honest and timely memoir.
"I was highly impressed with Evans' story and found myself cheering on her and her husband as they supported their son through each step of his transition journey. Evans writes beautifully, and her accounts of Jordan's and their lives is authentic and moving. I'm hoping that I Promised Not to Tell will be an invaluable guide to those parents who find themselves in the same position that Evans and her husband did. I Promised Not to Tell: Raising a Transgender Child is a bright light showing the way to acceptance through knowledge, understanding and love, and it's most highly recommended." Jack Magnus for Reader's Favorite - Another 5 Star Review!
Note: The Look Inside Preview sample of this book has some spacing issues around the chapter headings etc. eBooks and Print books don't have this issue, they look great inside.
|Publisher:||Cheryl B. Evans|
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About the Author
Award-winning author, Cheryl B. Evans was born and raised in Canada. She is a strong ally for the transgender community and has published multiple LGBTQ books. The first, I Promised Not to Tell, won a bronze medal in the 2017 Readers Favorite International Book Awards. She has been happily married to her husband for more than twenty-five years and together they have raised two children, a cis-gender daughter and a transgender son. In her spare time, Cheryl is an avid reader of non-fiction books, a lover of flavored coffee and anything chocolate. Evans is an honest writer who speaks from the heart. It is the author's personal desire that her books leave a positive mark on the world helping others to better understand transgender people.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
What a wonderful book! I cannot find enough words of praise to describe "I Promised Not To Tell" by Cheryl B. Evans. Her story is a first person account of one mother's love for and acceptance of a transgender child and their journey as a family through the stages of acknowledgement, understanding, and transition. It is an amazing story, without ruffles and flourishes, but with the deep and abiding love of a mother for her child. As the author states, she wants her children to be "healthy and happy" and she and her husband do everything that is within their power to see that this happens. "I Promised Not To Tell" is both interesting and heartwarming as the author shares her efforts to ensure her child's wellbeing. It is a learning experience recounted with love and punctuated by the hope that others might learn from it. I highly recommend this book to parents everywhere and to their children, as well. We must all learn to be more accepting and knowledgeable in order to make this world a better place in which to live. Thank you for sharing your words!
I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: RAISING A TRANSGENDER CHILD tells the story of a family and how they gracefully managed the reality that their youngest child was transgender. The author and mother, Cheryl B. Evans, demonstrates loving concern for the well-being and happiness of her son Jordan, who was born in a female body. Evans is determined to provide Jordan with the best possible medical care, as well as give him the utmost love and support as he navigates through understanding his gender identity and undergoing transition. This book is more than one family’s journey through what most people would consider an unconventional circumstance; THIS IS A TESTAMENT OF TRUE LOVE in all of its unconditional forms. As a trans woman, I was moved by Evans choice to keep an open mind as she, too, navigates through Jordan’s self-discovery process and transition. As I read into the story, I related to Jordan’s personal experiences when it came to many of the key issues that trans people struggle with on a daily basis. But what was most refreshing and deeply moving, was the love and support that Evans demonstrated throughout the entire story. This book is a MUST-READ for any parent, because the underlying message is that loving your children unconditionally is key to their future happiness and emotional health. If I had to give this book an alternate tittle—not that it needs one—I would call it “Unconditionally Yours: A Story of Motherly Love”.
CALM CANADIAN MOM COUNSELS TRANSGENDER CHILD—AND THE REST OF US While we Americans seem stymied by the hate speech which divides our country, we might well pause, take a deep breath of cool, Canadian air and heed a cue on a contentious issue from our neighbors to the north. Confronted with a daughter who had felt and dressed like a boy from early childhood, preferred sports to dolls and who at 13, wished she were a boy, Cheryl Evans and her husband crisscross their country in search of experts who can help the family solve their dilemma. After much study, prayer and consultation with their child, they all agree that sex reassignment is the best way to proceed. The book resulting from their journey into the unknown serves as a fascinating history of how this well-intentioned family, not unlike yours or mine, faced this stark diagnosis and moreover serves as a manual for anyone confronted with a similar issue. The intelligent role played by school principals. medical professionals and even the government of Ontario province further sets an example for all of tolerance, behavior toward each other and public service we should all try to emulate. No one in this family, including their elder daughter, escapes doubt, emotional conflict and the fear of hateful judgment visited upon them by self-righteous critics acting in the name of God. Deeply religious herself, Evans read the entire Bible (it took her seven months) to see whether these pious people’s claims were really His word—and found much evidence to the contrary. She concludes that the key to understanding these sacred texts lies in their interpretation with wisdom and love. The proof of this approach still lies ahead, but their new son was able to enter high school in a nearby, different district as a new person, has never been happier nor more successful his studies and looks forward to his third and final sex-change surgery with brave anticipation. This book is well-drafted in a brisk. readable style and should be must reading, not only for those families with a transgender child, but for all of us, so we may understand, accept and relate to such individuals in a normal, friendly and healthy way. --Peter H. Green, Co-author of Radio: One Woman's Family in War and Pieces
This is an engaging read written through the eyes of a loving mother with a transgender child. The prose reads like you are having a personal conversation with the author who being a greenhorn when it comes to writing did well with composing this book. The sole purpose of this book is to educate all people about what it is to be transgender. Therefore, is not exclusively intended for families with a transgender child, but for all people due to the importance of knowing what it means to be transgender in today’s society. The correct term is Gender Dysphoria where people identify with a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth due to genetics and the biological makeup of their brain. Transgender is not about being gay or straight. It is not a mental illness. They are not pedophiles just because they want to use the bathroom that matches their “gender identity”. The book does explain all aspects of what it is like to have Gender Dysphoria from how it affects them mentally, the physical alterations that have to take place, also the enormous effects on the family and how detrimental it is for the family to be supportive and understanding. “The most basic thing about transgender people is they truly believe they are the gender they identify with! Transgender women do not think of themselves as men wearing women’s clothing, they ARE women. Naturally, they should be in a woman’s washroom.” This is not the first book that I have read in regard to someone's journey transitioning from one sex to another, but it is the one I have learned the most from. I believe this is due to the fact that it is written from the viewpoint of a person who is standing back and watching it all occur whereas also involved. Therefore, everything the mother saw or went through with her child so does the reader. You are there when Jordan first goes to school as a boy, you are educated by the doctors at the same time the family is, learning about the importance of hormones, go through surgeries, and learn what a packer is along with his outstanding mother. In addition to, the obstacles that you do not think of like having to change the gender on passports, birth certificates, and driver's license. It is hard, but Cheryl gets it done. The word of God says love thy neighbor, it doesn’t say love thy neighbor except for the ones you do not like...It also says in the bible that God looks at one’s heart, not at one’s outward appearance. This is not just a book it is a learning experience. An important one for people of all ages. There is so much more I would like to mention about what I read, I could brag about this book for pages, though I think it is more important that you pick up a copy and read it for yourself.