If I Die in a Combat Zone: Box Me Up and Ship Me Home

If I Die in a Combat Zone: Box Me Up and Ship Me Home

by Tim O'Brien

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Before writing his award-winning Going After Cacciato, Tim O'Brien gave us this intensely personal account of his year as a foot soldier in Vietnam. The author takes us with him to experience combat from behind an infantryman's rifle, to walk the minefields of My Lai, to crawl into the ghostly tunnels, and to explore the ambiguities of manhood and morality in a war gone terribly wrong. Beautifully written and searingly heartfelt, If I Die in a Combat Zone is a masterwork of its genre.

Now with Extra Libris material, including a reader’s guide and bonus content

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780307762924
Publisher: Crown/Archetype
Publication date: 08/24/2011
Sold by: Random House
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 114,034
File size: 3 MB

About the Author

TIM O’BRIEN received the 1979 National Book Award in fiction for Going After Cacciato. His other works include the Pulitzer finalist and a New York Times Book of the Century, The Things They Carried; the acclaimed novels Tomcat in Love and Northern Lights; and the national bestselling memoir If I Die in a Combat Zone. His novel In the Lake of the Woods received the James Fenimore Cooper Prize from the Society of American Historians and was named the best novel of 1994 by Time. In 2010 he received the Katherine Anne Porter Award for a distinguished lifetime body of work and in 2012 he received the Richard C. Holbrooke Distinguished Achievement Award from the Dayton Literary Peace Prize Foundation. He was awarded the Pritzker Literature Award for Lifetime Achievement in Military Writing in 2013.

Date of Birth:

October 1, 1946

Place of Birth:

Austin, Minnesota


B.A., Macalester College, 1968; Graduate study at Harvard University

Read an Excerpt


"It's incredible, it really is, isn't it? Ever think you'd be humping along some crazy-ass trail like this, jumping up and down like a goddamn bullfrog, dodging bullets all day? Back in Cleveland, man, I'd still be asleep." Barney smiled. "You ever see anything like this? Ever?"

"Yesterday," I said.

"Yesterday? Shit, yesterday wasn't nothing like this."

"Snipers yesterday, snipers today. What's the difference?"

"Guess so." Barney shrugged. "Holes in your ass either way, right? But, I swear, yesterday wasn't nothing like this."

"Snipers yesterday, snipers today," I said again.

Barney laughed. "I tell you one thing," he said. "You think this is bad, just wait till tonight. My God, tonight'll be lovely. I'm digging me a foxhole like a basement."

We lay next to each other until the volley of fire stopped. We didn't bother to raise our rifles. We didn't know which way to shoot, and it was all over anyway.

Barney picked up his helmet and took out a pencil and put a mark on it. "See," he said, grinning and showing me ten marks, "that's ten times today. Count them-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! Ever been shot at ten times in one day?"

"Yesterday," I said. "And the day before that, and the day before that."

"No way. It's been lots worse today."

"Did you count yesterday?"

"No. Didn't think of it until today. That proves today's worse."

"Well, you should've counted yesterday."

We lay quietly for a time, waiting for the shooting to end, then Barney peeked up. "Off your ass, pal. Company's moving out." He put his pencil away and jumped up like a little kid on a pogo stick. Barney had heart.

I followed him up the trail, taking care to stay a few meters behind him. Barney was not one to worry about land mines. Or snipers. Or dying. He just didn't worry.

"You know," I said, "you really amaze me, kid. No kidding. This crap doesn't get you down, does it?"

"Can't let it," Barney said. "Know what I mean? That's how a man gets himself lethalized."

"Yeah, but--"

"You just can't let it get you down."

It was a hard march and soon enough we stopped the chatter. The day was hot. The days were always hot, even the cool days, and we concentrated on the heat and the fatigue and the simple motions of the march. It went that way for hours. One leg, the next leg. Legs counted the days.

"What time is it?"

"Don't know." Barney didn't look back at me. "Four o'clock maybe."


"Tuckered? I'll hump some of that stuff for you, just give the word."

"No, it's okay. We should stop soon. I'll help you dig that basement."


"Basements, I like the sound. Cold, deep. Basements."

A shrill sound. A woman's shriek, a sizzle, a zipping-up sound. It was there, then it was gone, then it was there again.

"Jesus Christ almighty," Barney shouted. He was already flat on his belly. "You okay?"

"I guess. You?"

"No pain. They were aiming at us that time, I swear. You and me."

"Charlie knows who's after him," I said. "You and me."

Barney giggled. "Sure, we'd give 'em hell, wouldn't we? Strangle the little bastards."

We got up, brushed ourselves off, and continued along the line of march.

The trail linked a cluster of hamlets together, little villages to the north and west of the Batangan Peninsula. Dirty, tangled country. Empty villes. No people, no dogs or chickens. It was a fairly wide and flat trail, but it made dangerous slow curves and was flanked by deep hedges and brush. Two squads moved through the tangles on either side of us, protecting the flanks from close-in ambushes, and the company's progress was slow.

"Captain says we're gonna search one more ville today," Barney said. "Maybe--"

"What's he expect to find?"

Barney shrugged. He walked steadily and did not look back. "Well, what does he expect to find? Charlie?"

"Who knows?"

"Get off it, man. Charlie finds us. All day long he's been shooting us up. How's that going to change?"

"Search me," Barney said. "Maybe we'll surprise him."


"Charlie. Maybe we'll surprise him this time."

"You kidding me, Barney?"

The kid giggled. "Can't never tell. I'm tired, so maybe ol' Charles is tired too. That's when we spring our little surprise."

"Tired," I muttered. "Wear the yellow bastards down, right?"

But Barney wasn't listening.

Soon the company stopped moving. Captain Johansen walked up to the front of the column, conferred with a lieutenant, then moved back. He asked for the radio handset, and I listened while he called battalion headquarters and told them we'd found the village and were about to cordon and search it. Then the platoons separated into their own little columns and began circling the hamlet that lay hidden behind thick brush. This was the bad time: The wait.

"What's the name of this goddamn place?" Barney said. He threw down his helmet and sat on it. "Funny, isn't it? Somebody's gonna ask me someday where the hell I was over here, where the bad action was, and, shit, what will I say?"

"Tell them St. Vith."


"St. Vith," I said. "That's the name of this ville. It's right here on the map. Want to look?"

He grinned. "What's the difference? You say St. Vith, I guess that's it. I'll never remember. How long's it gonna take me to forget your fuckin' name?"

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"A personal document of aching clarity. . . . A beautiful, painful book." —-New York Times Book Review

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If I Die in a Combat Zone 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 22 reviews.
preston64 More than 1 year ago
If I Die in a Combat Zone, Box Me Up and Ship Me Home is Tim O¿Brien¿s personal account of the daily life of a soldier during the Vietnam War. The beginning of the book takes us through O¿Brien¿s childhood, and his lack of desire to join the army. As main plot points begin to unfold, the reader learns more about Tim¿s life in the war training camp, and his new friend Erik. Both Erik and Tim are opposed to the war, and the United States¿ involvement. Against his will, O¿Brien is sent to the Vietnamese forest where he finishes his training at a nearby base, then is assigned to the Alpha Company 5th battalion of the 46th infantry, 198th infantry brigade. In this company, O¿Brien experiences the many horrors of war, and does not hesitate to go into detail about the horrific capability of mines, and how they mangled not only soldiers, but many civilians as well. Near the end of the story, Tim is offered a job near the rear, and is lifted away from the face-to-face jungle skirmishes. The time at the rear is more peaceful; as the account ends with Tim O¿Brien being flown back home. One of the things that was debated internally in myself was this simple question. Is questioning the American Government as an American anti-american, or patriotic? At first a reasonable answer to this would be anti-american because you are disagreeing with the government and what they have decided. With further thought though, it can also be seen that questioning the government can be patriotic as well. If the intention is to better this great nation, then it is patriotic. If one is just criticizing the government just to disagree, then that is what is anti-american. This is a fantastic account on an American soldiers mindset in the Vietnam War, as well as the atrocities that were committed throughout the war. If one is interested in either of these categories then this book is for you. O¿Brien¿s detail will leave no one¿s curiosity unsatisfied, and with his use of language he portrays the sinister picture of the Vietnamese War according to the soldiers. I would give this book three out of five stars, it is entertaining, although it has some slow moments and it takes some time to really get into this book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I like this book because it is similiar to another book I read about the Vietnam War, 1970-71. The audience can learn so much about the Vietnam War in so few pages from this book! I wish I had been exposed to this book and others at a younger age that relate to the Vietnam War. However, it is never to late to study, learn, and try to imagine what it was like fighting on the ground during the Vietnam War. O'Brien's own experiences in country 'Vietnam' with an infantry unit is told in detail in this book. Thank You Mr. O'Brien for writing your side of the story, and not going to Canada after all. I will read this book again!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is a great way to start to read any of f Tim's books. It is the tale of his own war experience and justifies all of his war novels. In the begining he almost appears to be a coward but he redeams himself and wins you over. Its not his best title but it is a must if you want to read any of his other war titles.
Guest More than 1 year ago
i got this book because i really like his other work but this one didnt pull me in as much as his others. If i die in a combat zone goes much quicker through the events then his others. overall i liked the book but i dont think it was great.
snat on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
For me, Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried is the most powerful book that I have every read and it's the standard against which I judge all things O'Brien. In The Things They Carried, O'Brien plays with nonlinear and fragmented narrative structure, magical realism, and the power of storytelling to capture the visceral truth that telling the real story can't quite capture. For O'Brien, we must sometimes turn to fiction to capture what is "emotionally true" and, in doing so, be less concerned with an objective reality. In a way, If I Die in a Combat Zone makes this point for him. Written 15 years before Things, If I Die is a memoir of Tim O'Brien's experience in the Vietnam War. There is no metafiction razzle-dazzle, but rather a straight-forward, linear narrative that begins when O'Brien is drafted and ends as he boards the Freedom Bird headed toward home. It's powerful stuff, but not nearly as powerful as his fiction work. Despite that, anything by Tim O'Brien is better than almost anything else out there--fiction or non-fiction. Having grown up in the post-World War II glow of American military might, O'Brien grew up in the ask-no-questions patriotic culture of the Midwest. Real men were expected to fight. Real men were supposed to look forward to war. Real men craved the opportunity to serve their country and protect their families. O'Brien doesn't reject these values, but these views are complicated by his natural philosophical inclinations. He questions the nature of bravery, as well as how American intervention in Vietnam is protecting the average American's right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In the aftermath, he's left with no certain answers: "Now, war ended, all I am left with are simple, unprofound scraps of truth. Men die. Fear hurts and humiliates. It is hard to be brave. It is hard to know what bravery is. Dead human beings are heavy and awkward to carry . . . Is that the stuff for a morality lesson, even for a theme? . . . Can the foot soldier teach anything important about war, merely for having been there? I think not. He can tell war stories." And that's what O'Brien does in the novel--he tells war stories. He tells of the tedious days of repetition, punctuated by brief bursts of action; he tells of military incompetence and the frustration of not knowing who the enemy is in a land where farmers by day picked up guns at night; he tells of how cruel being sent on R&R was, knowing the brief return to normality would not last. And he does all of this without being preachy; he simply shows us what life was like for the average soldier and leaves us to draw our own conclusions. His language is at once poetic and precise, getting to the heart of all things. No one can capture the peculiar mix of fear, adrenaline fed excitement, and remorse of a soldier's most introspective moments like O'Brien. At one point, O'Brien ruminates on Ernest Hemingway's fascination with war: "Some say Ernest Hemingway was obsessed by the need to show bravery in battle. It started, they say, somewhere in World War I and ended when he passed his final test in Idaho. If the man was obsessed with the notion of courage, that was a fault. But, reading Hemingway's war journalism and his war stories, you get the sense that he was simply concerned about bravery, hence about cowardice, and that seems a virtue, a sublime and profound concern that few men have." It's a concern that permeates all of O'Brien's work and his treatment of it is indeed sublime.
cwhouston on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is a brief but interesting war story of O'Brian's year as a rifleman in the infantry in Vietnam. This is much better than the lamentable "And a Hard Rain Fell" but not as good as "Dispatches" by Michael Herr, in my opinion. O'Brian seems to fancy himself as a writer, which is rather optimistic, and his discussion of the nature of courage is not particularly useful.Unfortunately, I'm still searching for the Vietnam war's equivalent of "The Forgotten Soldier" by Guy Sajer or "Storm of Steel" by Ernst Junger.
urhockey22 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I read this in college, so I have forgotten the details, but I remember it being a very good book.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
But not great. I had high expectations of this book and was a little let down. The authors other works are much better reads than this one. Sorry but true. The book sounds and reads like so many others about the war.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I got this book as a teen in the late 70's to see what the hubub of Vietnam was all about. After all these years, this book still rings the bell of what war is and how unglamorous it's not- I've passed this one over to MY teenager and hope others will too, so that future generations know what being in an unpopular war is all about.
Guest More than 1 year ago
A very moving tale from the 'average-mans' perspective of the vietnam war. Feels like you are walking with and experiencing what the infantrymen are.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I thought this book was very well composed and it make me realize the harsh raalities of the Vietnam war. O'Brien sure captured my heart and thoughts. I would highly recommend this book to any history fan!