"I'm Left and I'm Right!": The Pocket Handbook for Progressives

Perhaps you have heard of the recent surreptitious discovery of a heretofore top-secret handbook. The booklet apparently has been widely circulated among Progressive Democratic Party operatives and is rather explicit in its guidelines for use. This confidential information was forwarded to me by a former card-carrying member of the book’s Pocket Progressive Democrats. This fellow is now hiding out in a box of uncounted ballots somewhere in the swamps of Florida.

The booklet is organized arou...