I'm Saying No!: Standing Up Against Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment, and Sexual Pressure

by Beverly Engel

Overview

In spite of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, many women are still afraid to say no to unwanted sexual advances and reluctant to report sexual violations. Far too many college students are being raped and are afraid to report it. Women are subjected to sexual harassment, sexual bullying, and sexual pressure every day on the street, at work, and at home but are unable to speak truth to power or to report these sexual offenses. I’m Saying No! is written specifically for these women—women who are still afraid to speak up for themselves, women who need to learn how to do so, and women whose personal history of child sexual abuse or sexual assault as an adult has wounded them so much that they have lost their voice. Here, Beverly Engel—an internationally recognized psychotherapist and acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse—offers a ground-breaking program to help all the women who have been silenced by past trauma, women who were raised to believe they didn’t have a right to say no, and women who have spoken out in the past only to go unheard. Bold and timely, I’m Saying No! offers women the encouragement, support, and guidelines they need in order to become the powerful women they are—women who believe in themselves and stand up for themselves.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781631525254
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	04/02/2019
Pages:	296
Sales rank:	1,034,577
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Beverly Engel is an internationally recognized psychotherapist and an acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. She is the author of twenty-two self-help books, including four best-selling books on emotional abuse: The Emotionally Abused Woman, Encouragements for the Emotionally Abused Woman, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, and Healing Your Emotional Self. Her latest book, It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion, came out in January of 2015. Many of her books have been chosen for various book clubs, including the One Spirit Book Club, Psychology Today book club, and Behavioral Sciences book club. Engel frequently lends her expertise to national television talk shows; she has appeared on Oprah, CNN, and Starting Over, and many other TV programs. She has a blog on the Psychology Today website, and regularly contributes to the Psychology Today magazine. Engel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and has been practicing psychotherapy for thirty-five years.

Table of Contents

Preface ix

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 Empowerment from the Inside Out 9

Part I Making Changes from the Inside Out

Chapter 2 Why It Is So Difficult For Women to Say No 33

Chapter 3 Knowledge Is Power 48

Chapter 4 Facing the Truth about Child Sexual Abuse 70

Chapter 5 Shame-The Most Damaging Effect of Sexual Violations 81

Part II Out with the Old, In With the New

Chapter 6 Compassion for Your Suffering 101

Chapter 7 Connecting with and Releasing Your Anger 121

Chapter 8 Body-Esteem - A New Way of Viewing Your Body and Your Sexuality 138

Chapter 9 Another Key to Empowerment-No More Ms. Nice Girl 159

Part III Standing Up and Saying "No!"

Chapter 10 Have Your Wits about You-Strategies that Can Help Prevent Stranger and Acquaintance Rape 183

Chapter 11 Setting Boundaries and Limits 202

Chapter 12 Saying "No!" to Sexual Pressure and Coercion 220

Chapter 13 When Sexual Pressure Becomes Intimate Partner Abuse or Assault 228

Chapter 14 Saying "No!" to Sexual Harassment-From Street Harassment to Sexual Harassment at Work 238

Chapter 15 If You Are Ready to Report Sexual Assault or Abuse 256

Conclusion: Passing It On-Continue to Stand Up 263

Appendix A Recommended Reading 268

Appendix B Organizations to Join and Support 271

References 273

Editorial Reviews

"In light of the #MeToo movement, psy­chologist Engel provides women with hope, comfort, and a num­ber of preventative strategies in reacting to and recovering from sexual assault....This comprehensive book supplies women and interested general readers with everything they need to know, from healing after childhood abuse to ending sexual harassment. Essential for all women." —Library Journal, STARRED Review “Beverly Engel knows how hard it can be to speak your truth when it comes to assaults on women, and in her new self-help book, she aims to help women who have fallen victim to these crimes. I’m Saying No! provides a guide for those who are too afraid to speak up and get the justice they deserve.” —Parade, "10 Life-Changing Self-Help Books Every Woman Should Read in 2019" “I’m Saying No! serves as an empowering guide for women as they learn how to own their ‘No!” Beverly empowers readers to stand up against sexual assault, sexual harassment, and sexual pressure, while equipping them with practical tools to do so. The author pulls from her three decades of experience as a licensed psychotherapist and advocate for victims to help women both build their courage and find their voice. Through well-researched explanations, real-life stories from clients, and helpful guides, Engel builds on the momentum of #MeToo and #TimesUp by encouraging readers to speak out." —Fupping.com, "8 Definitive Books on Feminism and Its Struggle" "Engel’s tone is chatty and empowering as she reminds victims that they can move past an assault, and encourages all women to become comfortable at expressing anger . . . The book does a good job of presenting strategies to develop self-awareness, recognize potential threats, and get out of problematic situations. A useful guide to combating sexual violence and raising women’s self-esteem." —Kirkus Reviews “Beverly provides much-needed strategies, information, and support for every woman who has or is still being traumatized by any kind of sexual misconduct, whether it is in the workplace or elsewhere. I strongly recommend it for all women no matter their age or circumstances.” —Gretchen Carlson, television journalist, best-selling author of Be Fierce and empowerment advocate “This book is an excellent resource that helps women who have experienced sexual assault, sexual harassment, and sexual pressure to use their voice to speak truth and take a stand. An empowering book that I highly recommend.” —Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, author of The Sexual Trauma Workbook for Teen Girls “In her latest book, Engel provides readers with useful guidance for saying no to would-be sexual abusers and encourages readers to practice what it feels like to use those two simple but imperfect letters—N-O!—a skill that benefits people of all ages." —Holly Kearl, founder of Stop Street Harassment “It’s easy enough to tell women to 'say no' but, in reality, there is nothing easy about saying no if you are a woman. Engel’s book doesn’t only shed light on why this remains true, even in the age of MeToo and TimesUp, but it provides readers with critical, pragmatic tools and strategies designed to confront and report gender harassment, sexual assault, and childhood abuse effectively.” —Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger

From the Publisher