Israel for Perplexed Beginners

by Angelo Colorni

Overview

In his third book of the Israel for Beginners series, the author again uses his personal experience to highlight the challenges of nonnatives (about 40 percent of the Israeli population) as they negotiate life in their adoptive country. Through a collection of insightful essays, Israelis are once again wittily “explained” to prospective immigrants, new immigrants, and the public at large. Israel for Perplexed Beginners is an enjoyable read for newcomers and old-timers alike.
Learn more about:
• Sabras: like cactus pears to which they are often compared, the Israeli natives display a spiny exterior concealing a tender, sweet core.
• Israeli technology's great advancement in the last decades: it has apparently been produced by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.
• Desalination: from Moses parting the Red Sea to Jesus walking on the Sea of Galilee, the ability of Jews to perform miracles with water has been legendary.
• And much more!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9789652299604
Publisher:	Gefen Publishing House
Publication date:	12/01/2018
Series:	Israel for Beginners , #3
Pages:	104
Product dimensions:	6.70(w) x 9.40(h) x 0.30(d)

About the Author

Angelo Colorni was born in Mantua, Italy, in 1947. In 1973, he moved to Israel.

Fascinated by the Israelis, he has been studying the species in its natural habitat ever since. A marine biologist and senior scientist at the Israel Oceanographic and Limnological Research, National Center for Mariculture in Eilat, he is the author of numerous research works on diseases of aquatic organisms published in prestigious scientific journals. Married to an American wife, he sees himself as an Italian Israeli, his two children as Italo-American Israelis, and his grandchildren as Israeli Israelis.

Table of Contents

Foreword vii

Ubi Cor, Ibi Patria: Making Aliyah 1

Zionism: We're All Here Possibly because We're Not All Here 2

The Israeli Expats: Making Yeridah 3

Your Native Country in Your Heart 4

Tracing Your Jewish Roots 6

Deep Roots Are Not Reached by Either Frost or Scorching Sun 6

Abraham: The Jewish Family Tree Begins 7

Social interactions with Israelis 8

A Language with No Vowels 8

Cutting Short 8

English, So to Speak, Spoken Here 9

Tact versus "Dugriness" 10

Eifo Katuv? 11

"What Is in a Name?": Calling by Name versus Name-Calling 11

Bonding with Loyal Fans 13

Hasbarah (Public Relations) 15

How Many Light Bulbs Does It Take to Change People? 15

If You Can't Convince Them, Confuse Them 16

Love and Marriage 17

Tying the Knot with an Israeli 17

Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage 19

Housing 20

Employment 22

Not Quite from the Book of Job 22

Don't Complain if You Have a Job to Complain About 22

A Career in Art 25

A Career in Music 26

A Career as a Freelancer 28

Israeli Dress Codes 29

Dressed to the Nines 29

Lawyers 29

Police Officers 30

Firefighters 30

Paramedics 31

ZAKA Operatives 31

National Symbols 32

One People, One Flag, One Snack 32

An Olive Pitted against an Acorn 33

Say It with Flowers 33

Fowl Election 34

As Swift as a Deer 34

Every Dog Has Its Day 34

We Are What We Eat 35

The Postal Service 37

The Media 39

Say What You Please 40

The Radio 40

The TV 41

The Press 41

Living with the Threat of Terrorism 42

Elections 44

The Bible 46

"Because I Said So, That's Why!" 46

Kashrut 47

Crimes Punishable by Death 48

Owning People 49

Beards 50

Food for Thought 52

Science 53

Intellect over Zealotry 53

Ignorance Can Be Cured 54

Technology 56

Rainy Days 58

"I Shall Send You Rain in Its Season…" 58

Desalination: The Dream of Lots Wife Come True 60

Rolling Back the Desert 61

Boycott of Israel's Academia 63

The Hatred of Idiots: A Sign That Israel Is on the Right Path 63

When Education Begets Bigots 64

Israel's "Never Again!" 65

…Against Israel's Enemies "Never Say Never" 65

Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum 66

"Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore" 67

The Shekel 68

Banks 71

Shopping 73

Time Is Money, so When You Go Shopping Take a Lot of Time 73

The Shuk 73

The Makolet 74

The Supermarket 74

The Shopping Center 75

Cannabis 76

Tourists in Brief 78

Invasive Species 78

Arab Tourists 78

Italian Tourists 79

Scandinavian Tourists 79

British Tourists 79

German Tourists 80

French Tourists 80

American Tourists 80

Canadian Tourists 81

Australian Tourists 81

Asian Tourists 81

Ben-Gurion International Airport 82

Electric Bicycles 84

Road Signs and Markings 86

Public Health 88

The Twilight Years: Retiring 90

No More Days Off and Coffee Breaks on Your Own Time 90

Retirement: An Exhausting Occupation 91

Epilogue 93

Acknowledgments 94

Unacknowledgments 94

About the Author 95

About the Illustrator 95