It Starts with You: How Imperfect Parents Can Find Calm and Connection with Their Kids

It Starts with You: How Imperfect Parents Can Find Calm and Connection with Their Kids

It Starts with You: How Imperfect Parents Can Find Calm and Connection with Their Kids

It Starts with You: How Imperfect Parents Can Find Calm and Connection with Their Kids


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As parents, we want to shape our children into emotionally mature and healthy human beings. But we cannot effectively shape our children's emotional well-being until we've addressed our own traumas and emotional needs.

In It Starts with You, marriage and family therapist and parent coach Nicole Schwarz offers a nonjudgmental, shame-free guide to parenting children with a calm confidence. Working from a place of grace and compassion, she encourages us to explore how our history, thoughts, and assumptions impact our parenting decisions. Moving away from traditional discipline strategies, Schwarz focuses on the importance of having a calm brain, connected relationships, respectful conversations, and a coaching mindset with our kids.

It Starts with You lays out a five-step process you can turn to whenever you're stuck in a difficult parenting situation. Each step is grounded in research and presented in a way that is easy to understand. Rather than adding unnecessary pressure, we learn that kids do not need perfect parents, but parents who are willing to learn, grow, and move forward with them in a positive direction.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781506472478
Publisher: 1517 Media
Publication date: 02/15/2022
Pages: 261
Sales rank: 283,239
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Nicole Schwarz is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Parent Coach with over fifteen years of experience working with families and children in various settings. She is the owner of Imperfect Families, LLC, coaching parents to use positive, respectful parenting strategies. She lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband and three daughters.

Rebecca Eanes is the bestselling author of Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, The Gift of a Happy Mother, The Positive Parenting Workbook, and The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting. She is the creator of the Facebook page Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond which serves over one million parents. Rebecca writes parent to parent from the trenches of motherhood with the perspective of a mother who has made the paradigm shift from conventional to positive parenting. She delights in sharing her journey with her readers and inspiring families to choose joy and love. Her greatest joy is in raising her two sons.

Table of Contents

Foreword vii

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 Parenting without Shame 7

Chapter 2 It Starts with You 15

Chapter 3 Owning Your Story 21

Chapter 4 No Robot Parents 35

Chapter 5 When I Make a Mistake 45

Chapter 6 An Introduction to the Brain 55

Chapter 7 When the Brain Feels Threatened 63

Chapter 8 The Importance of Calm 73

Chapter 9 Waiting for Self-Regulation 81

Chapter 10 Completing the Stress Cycle 91

Chapter 11 An Introduction to Connection 101

Chapter 12 Connection in Real Life 111

Chapter 13 The "Bad Kid" Cycle 121

Chapter 14 How to Combat Shame 131

Chapter 15 Troubleshooting Connection 141

Chapter 16 Listening Well 151

Chapter 17 Being Empathetic 161

Chapter 18 Opening Up the Conversation 171

Chapter 19 Problem-Solving Together 181

Chapter 20 Troubleshooting Communication 191

Chapter 21 Be Curious 201

Chapter 22 Change Your Perspective 213

Chapter 23 Rethinking Traditional Discipline 223

Chapter 24 Parenting without Punishment 233

Chapter 25 Parenting with Confidence 247

Acknowledgments 257

Notes 259

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