It's Not Him, It's You!: How to Take Charge of Your Life and Create the Love and Intimacy You Deserve

by Laura Berman

Overview

In this no-nonsense guide to improving your love life, celebrated relationship therapist Dr. Laura Berman helps women who are looking to break up with bad relationship patterns. Berman offers sage advice, touching personal stories, and the psychological evaluation you need to achieve long-lasting romance and sexual satisfaction. It's Not Him, It's You!  is perfect for any woman who wants to take control of her love life and create the relationship she deserves.

This book is ideal for single women having trouble finding love, as well as women already in relationships with challenges to overcome. Berman gives her reader the tools for everlasting love by identifying their damaging thought patterns, overcoming self-blame and lack of confidence, and acknowledging bad relationship choices so they're never repeated. Whether you’re looking to rejuvenate your marriage or embark on the love journey of a lifetime It’s Not Him, It’s You empowers women not wait for a man to fix things, but to be the change they want to see in their relationships.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780756684679
Publisher:	DK
Publication date:	12/20/2010
Sold by:	Penguin Group
Format:	eBook
Pages:	256
File size:	3 MB
Age Range:	3 Months

About the Author

Bestselling author and renowned sex and relationships therapist Dr. Laura Berman is America’s leading expert in sexual health and relationships. She runs a clinical practice in Chicago and is assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and obstetrics/gynecology at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. Dr. Berman is the host of In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman on Oprah Winfrey’s OWN television network and The Dr. Laura Berman Show on Oprah Radio. She writes a weekly column for the Chicago Sun-Times, and is a frequent guest on TV and radio programs, including The Dr. Oz Show. She is also the author of the New York Times bestseller Real Sex for Real Women, as well as The Book of Love, It’s Not Him, It’s You, and Talking to Your Kids About Sex, all published by DK.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Getting the love you want 6

The blame game 8

Reader questionnaire

Reversing the blame game

Examining self-blame

Shifting your perspective

Living in the present

Rethinking Mr. Right

Understanding relationship roles

The opposite of blame

Breaking the pattern 30

Reader questionnaire

Examining relationship patterns

The lovemap

Discovering your lovemap

Recovering from trauma

Rewriting relationship scripts

Considering relationship roles

Top 10 relationship commandments

When your mind feels like the enemy 54

Reader questionnaire

Codependency

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Depression

Anxiety

Eating disorders

Attention deficit disorder (ADHD)

Seeking therapy

Maximizing your upper limits

Reconnecting with your body 82

Reader questionnaire

Redefining healthy living

Nutrition

Sweet treat

Exercise

Self-stimulation

Dealing with long-term illness

Top 5 ways to improve your sexual health

Lovers and caretakers

Being hard to get, not playing hard to get 108

Reader questionnaire

The right way to find love

The new definition of "sexy"

Looking for love

Date night

Internet dating

Overcoming the big dating mistakes

Top 10 moves to make on a first date

Dating and sex

Being hard to get in a relationship

Unleashing your inner vixen 136

Reader questionnaire

Taking the reins of your sex life

Thinking like a vixen

Lap dance

Making good sex great

Rethinking your sexual expectations

Orgasm

Positions with a purpose

Sex toys

Fantasy

Making your relationship matter 170

Reader questionnaire

The modern relationship

Fighting to love

The art of compromise

Putting your partner first

Top 5 relationship misconceptions

Intimacy and sex

Strip down

Avoiding the major trouble spots

Dealing with economic disparity

Overcoming infidelity

The happiness experiment

Juggling family and relationships 200

Reader questionnaire

Transitioning from couple to family

Top 5 ways to keep kids from ruining your sex life

The new date night

Oil up

The importance of girlfriends

Getting along with your in-laws

The sandwich generation

Making the life you want 220

Reader questionnaire

Choosing happiness

Practicing authenticity

Embracing honesty

Top 10 ways to stay connected

Ending soft addictions

Tub time

Conclusion: The key to love 238

Appendix A Mental disorders 240

Appendix B Lack of desire and arousal 242

Appendix C Menopause and andropause 246

Bibliography 248

Resources 250

Index 252

Acknowledgments 256