Kick-Ass Kinda Girl: A Memoir of Life, Love, and Caregiving

by Kathi Koll

Overview

A Life of Love and Adventure—and Loss

When her husband, Don, called on his way to the hospital, Kathi Koll had no idea how dramatically their lives would change—or how her loving heart and indomitable spirit would fight it.

From childhood, her life might have seemed charmed: play dates with Lucie Arnaz, real dates with a future TV idol, and a big brother engaged to film star Dolores Hart. But behind the scenes, her role as a caregiver began early. A mother dying of cancer, a father battling alcoholism, a brother with a debilitating disease, and a painful divorce threatened to tear her world apart.

But then Kathi found Don Koll—her "knight." Like living a movie script, Don and Kathi sailed to far off places, solved a carjacking, and cracked jokes with the president. Their joie de vivre and unstoppable moxie made everything feel possible. Until Don woke up "locked in" after his catastrophic stroke.

With unflinching honesty and humor, Kathi shares the realities of a life in uncharted territory as a full-time caregiver, from turning her home into a mobile hospital to the complications of intimacy. Her ability to share sorrows while laughing at herself helped her find a New Normal where she and Don could live each day to its fullest.

Her journey, steeped in the joy of living in the moment, teaches us what it means to never lose hope for tomorrow—at the best of times and under the worst of circumstances.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781732364905
Publisher:	Ward Publishing
Publication date:	09/12/2018
Pages:	276
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.62(d)

About the Author

Kathi Koll is the founder of the Kathi Koll Foundation, which provides meaningful support to caregivers in need. Her experiences caring for her late husband, Don, for more than six years after his debilitating stroke were the inspiration for the foundation as well as her memoir, Kick-Ass Kinda Girl. She lives in Southern California.

Read an Excerpt

In this debut memoir, the wife of a wealthy entrepreneur cares for him after his debilitating stroke and reflects with pride on a life of service.

Koll opens her remembrance with the story of her brother, Don Robinsons courting actress Dolores Hart, who abruptly canceled her engagement to Robinson in 1963 to join a monastery. Robinson never married, Koll says, but he maintained a platonic friendship with Hart until his death. With this star-studded beginning, readers may expect more celebrities, and there are a few: One of Kolls childhood friends was Lucie Arnaz, for instance, and she later dated Mark Harmon. However, the author mainly tells of overcoming challenges, such as her fathers drinking problem, her mothers death from cancer, and a divorce from her first husband. The heart of the book is devoted to her second marriage to the Los Angeles real estate developer and philanthropist Don Koll. Their first date was at a 1997 White House reception. There are accounts of Beverly Hills dinners, vacations in St. Tropez, and even an encounter with a car thief in France. In 2005, however, Don had a stroke, which changed Kolls life forever. She became his caregiver, helping him through daily tasks of living until his death in 2011the same year that her brother died. In this memoir, Koll offers cleareyed memories of hospitals, health care, and hope. The subject matter may remind some readers of The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didions 2005 account of coping with her husbands death while tending to her sick daughter. Koll isnt as contemplative as Didion is, but she does know how to make the people in her memories feel real to readers. Although the celebrity cameos sometimes feel gratuitous, the authors attitude is consistently uplifting. She tells of working tirelessly to improve Dons and her own quality of life; at one point, she asked his doctor if there might be a way for the couple to have one more roll in the hay. You never give up, his doctor told her latera perfect summary of this clever, comforting memoir.

An engaging, warts-and-all telling of the ups and downs of a full-time caregiver.

Editorial Reviews

01/31/2019

In this touching memoir, Koll tells of her life as caregiver. Growing up in 1960s Los Angeles, she had play dates with Lucille Ball’s daughter, Lucie Arnaz, and rubbed elbows with other children of Hollywood stars. But her life changed in her teens when her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer; at the same time, her alcoholic father frequented bars, and her mother would send Koll to retrieve him. At age 18, she got pregnant and married her boyfriend, and within a few years her father and brother died. Koll’s narrative becomes breezy when she describes, in her 40s and divorced, meeting Don Koll, a real estate mogul who took her to parties at the White House, where she met the Clintons in the 1990s. Then Don had a stroke that “locked him in.” She writes of her struggles: “If I lie in bed too long, my thoughts get the better of me, and the shadow of a sad cloud can freeze me from moving forward.” For six years Koll was his caregiver until he died in 2011. Since then, Koll has put to use the knowledge she acquired as a caretaker, becoming a public speaker and starting a foundation that helps caregivers balance their own lives. Koll’s compassionately told stories inspire and uplift. (BookLife)

Publishers Weekly

“In this memoir, Koll offers clear-eyed memories of hospitals, health care, and hope. … An engaging, warts-and-all telling of the ups and downs of a full-time caregiver.” —Kirkus Reviews

“A standout in the literature surrounding grief, recovery, and illness.” —Midwest Book Review

“Kick-Ass Kinda Girl is an entertaining roller coaster of a memoir whose second half will be particularly pertinent to caregivers.” —Foreword Clarion Review, 4 stars

“Koll comes across as a potential friend, someone who listens well and willingly opens her heart. Since she can't be everywhere to help those who need her hard-won wisdom for moving forward, Kick-Ass Kinda Girl is a worthy surrogate.” —BlueInk Review, a Booklist partner

“There were no guidebooks for Kathi—she made it up as she went along. What she lived and learned is an amazing story.” —Deborah Norville, anchor, Inside Edition, and New York Times bestselling author

“Kathi Koll’s passion and spirit shine. Her story is a stellar example of a life fully lived despite devastating circumstances. Read it, read it again, and gift it to someone who needs a dose of laughter-through-tears along with a lot of inspired practical ideas for caregiving.” —Ambassador Nancy G. Brinker, founder of Susan G. Komen and New York Times bestselling author of Promise Me

“True love, selflessness and caring exist in this world and Kathi's story offers proof … I highly recommend it to anyone needing to restore their inner strength and faith.” —Mother Dolores Hart, O.S.B. Prioress of the Abbey of Regina Laudis and author of The Ear of the Heart: An Actress's Journey from Hollywood to Holy Vows

“We could all use a mega dose of whatever is in Kathi Koll's emotional tool box.” —Lucie Arnaz, Golden Globe-nominated, Emmy Award-winning actress

“Kathi's creativity and passion put a buoyant spin on her brilliant caregiving strategies, but mostly I love the way this book places caregiving into the context of life. It isn't about surviving as the child of an alcoholic or as the devoted spouse of someone who's suffered a debilitating stroke; it's about living a life powered by joy, motivated by love, and lifted by hope.” —Joni Rodgers, New York Times bestselling author of Bald in the Land of Big Hair

“With her husband, Don, facing a debilitating illness, Kathi Koll had a choice to make: She could trudge on, fulfilling her role with her head down and teeth gritted. Or she could choose life for both herself and Don … Kathi’s story is a testament to perseverance, spirit, and character.” —Senator Bill Frist, MD, former U.S. Senate Majority Leader, surgeon, cofounder of Aspire Health

From the Publisher

2018-08-21

In this debut memoir, the wife of a wealthy entrepreneur cares for him after his debilitating stroke and reflects with pride on a life of service.

Koll opens her remembrance with the story of her brother, Don Robinson's courting actress Dolores Hart, who abruptly canceled her engagement to Robinson in 1963 to join a monastery. Robinson never married, Koll says, but he maintained a platonic friendship with Hart until his death. With this star-studded beginning, readers may expect more celebrities, and there are a few: One of Koll's childhood friends was Lucie Arnaz, for instance, and she later dated Mark Harmon. However, the author mainly tells of overcoming challenges, such as her father's drinking problem, her mother's death from cancer, and a divorce from her first husband. The heart of the book is devoted to her second marriage to the Los Angeles real estate developer and philanthropist Don Koll. Their first date was at a 1997 White House reception. There are accounts of Beverly Hills dinners, vacations in St. Tropez, and even an encounter with a car thief in France. In 2005, however, Don had a stroke, which changed Koll's life forever. She became his caregiver, helping him through daily tasks of living until his death in 2011—the same year that her brother died. In this memoir, Koll offers cleareyed memories of hospitals, health care, and hope. The subject matter may remind some readers of The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion's 2005 account of coping with her husband's death while tending to her sick daughter. Koll isn't as contemplative as Didion is, but she does know how to make the people in her memories feel real to readers. Although the celebrity cameos sometimes feel gratuitous, the author's attitude is consistently uplifting. She tells of working tirelessly to improve Don's and her own quality of life; at one point, she asked his doctor if there might be a way for the couple to have "one more roll in the hay." "You never give up," his doctor told her later—a perfect summary of this clever, comforting memoir.

An engaging, warts-and-all telling of the ups and downs of a full-time caregiver.

Kirkus Reviews