Knitting Under the Influence
When you're in your late twenties and nothing in your life seems to be falling into place, knitting is an awfully seductive way to spend your free time -- especially when life doesn't come with a stitch counter.
Kathleen, Sari, and Lucy's Sunday knitting circle is the only thing holding them together. Kathleen has been cut off financially by her family and forced to enter "the real world" for the very first time. Sari has fallen for the man who made her life a living hell in high school, but now desperately needs her help. Lucy, torn between emotion and reason, must reevaluate her life when her lab and her boyfriend are assailed by an animal-rights group.
At their club meetings, they discuss the really important questions: how bad is it, really, to marry for money if you like the guy a lot anyway? Can you ever forgive someone for something truly atrocious that they've done? Is it better to be unhappily coupled than happily alone? And the little ones: Can you wear a bra with a hand-knit tube top? Is it ever acceptable to knit something for a boyfriend? And why do your stitches become lopsided after your second martini?

In Claire LaZebnik's hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking novel, Sari, Lucy, and Kathleen's lives intersect, overlap, unravel, and come back together in an utterly satisfying read.
1100298669
Knitting Under the Influence
When you're in your late twenties and nothing in your life seems to be falling into place, knitting is an awfully seductive way to spend your free time -- especially when life doesn't come with a stitch counter.
Kathleen, Sari, and Lucy's Sunday knitting circle is the only thing holding them together. Kathleen has been cut off financially by her family and forced to enter "the real world" for the very first time. Sari has fallen for the man who made her life a living hell in high school, but now desperately needs her help. Lucy, torn between emotion and reason, must reevaluate her life when her lab and her boyfriend are assailed by an animal-rights group.
At their club meetings, they discuss the really important questions: how bad is it, really, to marry for money if you like the guy a lot anyway? Can you ever forgive someone for something truly atrocious that they've done? Is it better to be unhappily coupled than happily alone? And the little ones: Can you wear a bra with a hand-knit tube top? Is it ever acceptable to knit something for a boyfriend? And why do your stitches become lopsided after your second martini?

In Claire LaZebnik's hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking novel, Sari, Lucy, and Kathleen's lives intersect, overlap, unravel, and come back together in an utterly satisfying read.
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Knitting Under the Influence

Knitting Under the Influence

by Claire LaZebnik
Knitting Under the Influence

Knitting Under the Influence

by Claire LaZebnik

eBook

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Overview

When you're in your late twenties and nothing in your life seems to be falling into place, knitting is an awfully seductive way to spend your free time -- especially when life doesn't come with a stitch counter.
Kathleen, Sari, and Lucy's Sunday knitting circle is the only thing holding them together. Kathleen has been cut off financially by her family and forced to enter "the real world" for the very first time. Sari has fallen for the man who made her life a living hell in high school, but now desperately needs her help. Lucy, torn between emotion and reason, must reevaluate her life when her lab and her boyfriend are assailed by an animal-rights group.
At their club meetings, they discuss the really important questions: how bad is it, really, to marry for money if you like the guy a lot anyway? Can you ever forgive someone for something truly atrocious that they've done? Is it better to be unhappily coupled than happily alone? And the little ones: Can you wear a bra with a hand-knit tube top? Is it ever acceptable to knit something for a boyfriend? And why do your stitches become lopsided after your second martini?

In Claire LaZebnik's hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking novel, Sari, Lucy, and Kathleen's lives intersect, overlap, unravel, and come back together in an utterly satisfying read.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780446550178
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication date: 09/24/2024
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
Pages: 306
File size: 591 KB

About the Author

Claire LaZebnik lives in Los Angeles with her TV writer husband and four children. She is the author of the novels Knitting Under the Influence, The Smart One and the Pretty One, and If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home Now.

Read an Excerpt

Knitting Under the Influence

A Novel
By Claire LaZebnik

5 SPOT

Copyright © 2006 Claire LaZebnik
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0-446-69795-8


Chapter One

It was ten o'clock on Sunday morning and the regular time for the girls to meet for their knitting circle, but when Kathleen opened the door to greet the others, she was still wearing her pajama bottoms and a stained "The Best Girls Are from Los Angeles" T-shirt. Her long brown hair was escaping in fly-away strands from her ponytail elastic, and around her eyes were traces of mascara and eyeshadow that clearly hadn't been completely washed off the night before.

Sari said, "You didn't have to dress up just for us." "Or clean up," Lucy said. The huge foyer was strewn with glasses, bottles, crumpled napkins, and small plastic plates with food still on them.

"Give me a break," Kathleen said. "The party went late and I only just got up. Come to the kitchen so I can make some coffee."

They followed her toward the back of the house, their knitting bags slung over their shoulders. Sari caught a glimpse of the living room as they went by. It was easily four times the size of her entire apartment, but today it was as trashed as the rest of the house. She said, "I wouldn't want to be the one to have to get the stains out of the carpet."

"Cleaning help comes tomorrow," Kathleen said.

"You could at least pick up the trash," Lucy saidwith a backward look of disgust at a Coke can that was lying on an antique side table in a sticky brown puddle.

"Cleaning help comes tomorrow," Kathleen said again, irritably this time. They entered the kitchen. "You guys bring something to eat?"

"Bagels. Sorry, I know it's boring, but it was on the way." Sari dropped the bag of fresh bagels onto the island, and then tossed her knitting bag and purse next to it. She hoisted herself onto one of the high leather-upholstered stools. When she sat, her feet dangled inches above the floor. "Why is the kitchen so much cleaner than the rest of the house?"

"Caterers. They cleaned up in here before they left. You both want coffee?"

"Of course we want coffee," Sari said. "You had caterers?" Lucy mounted the stool next to Sari. "Sounds fancy. What was the occasion?" "The twins' twenty-fifth birthday."

"Wait a second," Lucy said. "That doesn't make any sense. If it was their birthday, wouldn't it be your birthday, too?"

"You'd think," Kathleen said. She was one of triplets. The other two were identical twins, which had made her, from birth, the odd man out.

"So what you're saying is, you had a birthday party and didn't invite us," Sari said. "Should we be hurt?"

Kathleen was staring at the coffeemaker like she'd never seen it before. "God, my brain's not functioning," she said. "I think I'm still drunk from last night. I didn't even go to bed until after three. Don't be an idiot, Sari. You and I went out to celebrate my birthday two months ago. Don't you remember?"

"Oh, right," Sari said. "We went to Bombay Café." "Why wasn't I invited?" Lucy said.

"You were. You were working late and couldn't come." Sari turned back to Kathleen, who was filling up the coffee carafe with water at the sink. "But you turned twenty-seven." "I know."

"So why were the twins celebrating their twenty-fifth birthday last night if they turned twenty-seven two months ago?"

"Good question," Kathleen said. She carried the carafe back to the coffeemaker. She had overfilled it, and the water was trickling out, leaving a trail of drips on the wood floor behind her. "The party was a publicity event for their new movie. The twenty-five part is just a lie." Kathleen's sisters had once had a successful sitcom on TV where they played identical twin sisters who confused a lot of people by exchanging places. It ran for six years. When it ended, they started making movies, in each of which they played identical twin sisters who confused a lot of people by exchanging places.

"They always seem younger than you," Lucy said. "Are you sure you're the same age?"

"Yep," Kathleen said. "We popped out all together. In fact, I was the last one out, which makes me the youngest. People just think I'm older because I'm so much taller. Plus I went to school while they were stuck on some set or another being quote unquote tutored so they have the intellect of ten-year-olds."

"Was it a good party?" Sari asked, looking around. "It looks like it was a good party. The house is trashed."

"I honestly don't remember much about it. There was a cute bartender who was extremely talented. He made the best pomegranate margarita ..." Kathleen poured the water into the coffeemaker. "I talked to him, helped him out by tasting some new variations-" She stuck the carafe in its place and turned to look at them. "I have a bad feeling, though-" "About what?"

"I don't know. Like I did something last night I shouldn't have."

"Maybe you slept with the bartender," Lucy said. She tore a bagel in half, then carefully dug out the insides with her long, slender fingers. She piled the discarded bread in a neat pyramid on the counter in front of her.

Kathleen shook her head. "No, that would have been a good thing. And it's more that feeling you get when someone's mad at you."

"Maybe the bartender had a girlfriend." "Will you forget about the bartender?" She pushed the start button on the coffeemaker. "It'll be ready in a few minutes. You guys want to stay in here or move to the family room?"

"Those are our only choices?" Sari said. "Doesn't this house have at least fifty other rooms?"

"Oh, don't exaggerate," Lucy said. "It's a simple little fifteen-thousand-square-foot cottage. Don't make it sound like a mansion." She took a small bite of her bagel shell, then put it down on top of the pile of discards and dusted off her fingers with the finality of someone who has had all the breakfast she intends to have.

"I should get dressed," Kathleen said with another yawn. "But it seems like so much work."

"You poor thing," Lucy said. "You slave over a hot drink all night-"

"A hot bartender," Sari said. "She slaved over a hot bartender all night. The drinks were cold. All fifteen of them."

"I think there may have been fifteen," Kathleen said. She pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and said wearily, "I've got to cut back."

"What I don't get is how you stay so thin," Lucy said. She reached down to the floor for her knitting bag and pulled out a ball of yarn, two knitting needles, and an attached length of sparkling blue scarf. "If I drank as much as you, I'd be the size of this house. Alcohol's fattening."

Sari said, "Uh, Kathleen? I usually take coffee in my coffee." Kathleen turned to look. Steaming brownish hot water was dripping into the carafe. "Shit," she said. "I forgot to put in the grounds."

Lucy hooted. "Brilliant." "I told you I was still drunk from last night." She punched the coffeemaker off.

A young woman walked into the room. They all turned. "Hi," she said. She had an appealingly childlike round face, long, wavy auburn hair, and a narrow body that seemed too small for the size of her head. "Sorry if I'm interrupting."

"Not at all," Sari said. "Hi." "It's your house," Lucy added.

"Morning," Kathleen said. The other girl didn't even acknowledge her but, with a nod at the other two, walked over to the refrigerator, opened it, took out a bottle of Voss water, then, with another nod and a "Later," left the kitchen.

There was a moment of silence. Kathleen carried the carafe of dirty-looking water over to the sink and dumped it, then refilled it with clean tap water.

"Okay," Lucy said. "Which one was that?" "I don't know," Kathleen said. "I can't tell them apart." "Yes, you can," Sari said.

Kathleen reached into a cabinet above the coffeemaker and got out a canister of coffee. "Fine. It was Christa. Does it really matter to you?"

"She always that friendly in the morning?" Lucy said. Kathleen shrugged as she shook some coffee grounds directly into the filter. "I think maybe she's mad at me about last night."

"Why?" Sari said. "I told you-I can't remember." Lucy held her knitting up and studied it critically. "It's beautiful, Lucy," Sari said. She reached out and pulled the end of the scarf toward her. "This yarn is incredible. I love the way it glitters."

"It's got these metallic pieces woven in ... It's cool, isn't it?" "Have you ever made anything besides a scarf?" Kathleen leaned back against the counter where the coffee was finally successfully brewing. "I mean, we've been doing this for years and all I've ever seen you make is scarves."

"I like scarves," Lucy said. "I've never seen you wear one. Unless you're using them as part of some kinky sex bondage game ..."

"Scarves are fun to knit," Lucy said. She picked up her needles and started clicking away with them. "You just go on row after row, and when it's long enough, you're done."

"How about some plates here?" Sari said to Kathleen. The phone started ringing. Kathleen reached up to open a cabinet.

"Don't you need to get that?" Sari said. "It's not for me-I only use my cell." The phone stopped ringing. Kathleen put a stack of plates on the counter, then reached into the bag and took out a handful of bagels. She was piling them high on a plate when one slipped off and fell on the floor. She picked up the bagel and was about to drop it back with the others when Lucy thrust a hand in the way.

"For God's sake, throw it out. It's got hairs on it." "Picky, picky, picky." Kathleen tossed it into the sink. Sari pulled a container of cream cheese out of the bagel bag and opened it. "Get a knife, Kath, will you?" "A clean one," Lucy said.

"And cups for juice," Sari said. "And mugs for coffee." "You guys are a lot of work," Kathleen said. "When you come to my place, everything's already set up," Lucy said. "Sari's, too."

"I'm sorry I'm not Martha Stewart," Kathleen said. "Somewhere around the seventeenth drink last night, I guess I forgot to clean the good china for you." "Party girl," Sari said fondly. Kathleen grinned at her. "Working on it." "Mugs?" Lucy said.

As Kathleen was reaching up to get them, her mother entered the room, flanked on each side by a girl identical to the one who had entered the room earlier. The two redheads made perfect bookends to their blond mother as they all stopped in the doorway. Sari and Lucy swiveled to greet them.

"Hello, Sari, darling," said Kathleen's mother, who, with her regular features and small frame, looked more like the twins' sister than their sister did, since Kathleen was tall and dark-haired. "Hello, Lucy. Kathleen, could we please have a word with you?"

"Why?" Kathleen said, turning around. "What is it? Is it about last night? What'd I do?" She seemed more curious than concerned.

"You know what you did," one of the twins said. It was Kelly, but only her blood relatives could tell for sure-Sari and Lucy had no idea which twin was which.

"Yeah," Christa said. "You know." "Honestly," Kathleen said. "I don't. Last night is kind of a blur."

Christa stepped forward, ruining their symmetry. "Oh, please.

Like you don't remember talking to that Hollywood Reporter reporter?"

"Reporter reporter?" Lucy repeated under her breath to Sari. "Not really," Kathleen said. "I had a lot to drink-" "Tell us about it," Kelly said with a roll of the eyes. "You were so wrecked-"

"Like you weren't," Christa said to her. "You were all over Munchie's nephew."

"He was all over me. Jealous much?" "The point is," said their mother. "The point is, Kathleen, that you said some unfortunate things last night-" "And now we're screwed because of it," Kelly said.

"Well, we hope not," their mother said. "Junie's trying to convince the guy it's worth killing the story to have her owe him a favor-but if he decides to go to print, well, then ..." "We're screwed," Kelly said, and this time her mother nodded.

"Why?" Kathleen said. "What'd I say that was so bad?" "What didn't you say?" Christa asked. "I mean, you started with our-"

"You let leak some confidential family information," her mother said, cutting her off with a meaningful glance in Lucy and Sari's direction.

Kathleen was still trying to figure it out. "What? You mean about their age?"

"That. And some other things I'd rather we not discuss at the moment."

"Shit, Mom, I didn't say anything that isn't common knowledge. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that you've betrayed your sisters' trust," her mother said. "Your sisters who house you and feed you and employ you ... The least you could do is respect their privacy."

"I was drunk," Kathleen said. "It wasn't on purpose." "Then you shouldn't drink," Kelly said.

"Neither should you," Christa said to her. "You were as bad as she was."

"I didn't say anything stupid." "No, but you did a lot of stupid things. Your tongue was so deep in his mouth-"

"I think," said their mother, "that Kathleen owes you both an apology."

Kathleen shrugged. "Sorry," she said. "I was drunk. Sometimes I do stupid things when I'm drunk."

"And sometimes even when she's not," Lucy whispered to Sari, who hushed her.

"Oh, come on," Christa said. "At least try to sound like you mean it."

"She's right," their mother said. "Kathleen, your sisters have been nothing but good to you and you don't seem to appreciate it. Everything you have you have because of them, but they get nothing from you in return-"

"What are you talking about? I've been working for them since college."

"Yes, you have," said her mother. "And that steady income you get is something else you owe them." "If you don't like the way I do my job-" Kelly snorted. "Come on, Kathleen. All you do is make a couple of phone calls now and then."

"No, really," Kathleen said, standing up straight and squaring her shoulders. "If you guys don't want me around, just say so. I mean, I thought I was doing you all a favor by helping out with the company and keeping an eye on things here, but if you think the favors are all on your side ..." She looked from one member of her family to another. No one said anything. "Fine," she said then. "Fine. I don't have to stay here. And I won't. I have other options."

"No, you don't," said Christa, rolling her eyes. "Yes, I do." "No, you don't."

"Yes, she does," said Sari, swiveling the bar stool around to face Christa directly. "I've been begging her for ages to come stay with me and help me out with the rent." She rotated back around. "What do you say, Kathleen? You ready to move in with me?" "Are you kidding? Just give me ten minutes to pack my bags." Kathleen came around the island.

"Don't be silly," her mother said. "Come on, Kathleen, if you're doing this to prove something, it's not worth it. You know we don't actually want you to leave."

"Yeah," said Kelly. "You're making too big a deal out of this." "We don't want you to move out," Christa said. "We just want you to not get trashed and say stupid things anymore." "Live free or die," Kathleen said, brushing past her. "That's my motto."

"I thought that was New Hampshire's motto," Lucy whispered to Sari.

"It is," Sari whispered back. "But I'll bet you anything they don't know that."

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Knitting Under the Influence by Claire LaZebnik Copyright © 2006 by Claire LaZebnik. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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