The Language of Letting Go

The Language of Letting Go

by Melody Beattie


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Written for those of us who struggle with codependency, these daily meditations offer growth and renewal, and remind us that the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own self-care.

Melody Beattie integrates her own life experiences and fundamental recovery reflections in this unique daily meditation book written especially for those of us who struggle with the issue of codependency. Problems are made to be solved, Melody reminds us, and the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own pain and self-care. In this daily inspirational book, Melody provides us with a thought to guide us through the day and she encourages us to remember that each day is an opportunity for growth and renewal.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780894866371
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
Publication date: 06/01/1990
Series: Hazelden Meditations Series
Pages: 408
Sales rank: 8,467
Product dimensions: 5.04(w) x 7.38(h) x 0.74(d)

About the Author

Melody Beattie is the author of numerous books about personal growth and relationships, drawing on the wisdom of Twelve Step healing, Christianity, and Eastern religions. With the publication of Codependent No More in 1986, Melody became a major voice in self-help literature and endeared herself to millions of readers striving for healthier relationships. She lives in Malibu, California.

Read an Excerpt

The Language of Letting Go

Melody Beattie

January 1
The New Year

Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come.

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level.
Goals give our life direction.

What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?

What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?

Remember, we aren't controlling others with our goals—we are trying to give direction to our life.
What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career?

What would you like to see happen inside and around you?

Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down—as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go.

Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story.

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.

Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed. I will do it not to control but to do my part in living my life.

January 2
Healthy Limits

Boundaries are vital to recovery. Having and setting healthy limits is connected to all phases of recovery: growing in self-esteem, dealing with feelings, and learning to really love and value ourselves.

Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries.

Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We'll set a limit when we're ready, and not a moment before. So will others.

There's something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed.

Today I will trust that I will learn, grow, and set the limits I need in my life at my own pace. This timing need only be right for me.

January 3
Nurturing Self-Care

. . . there isn't a guidebook for setting boundaries. Each of us has our own guide inside ourselves. If we continue to work at recovery, our boundaries will develop. They will get healthy and sensitive. Our selves will tell us what we need to know, and we'll love ourselves enough to listen.
Beyond Codependency

What do we need to do to take care of ourselves?

Listen to that voice inside. What makes you angry? What have you had enough of? What don't you trust? What doesn't feel right? What can't you stand? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you want? Need? What don't you want and need? What do you like? What would feel good?

In recovery, we learn that self-care leads us on the path to God's will and plan for our life. Self-care never leads away from our highest good; it leads toward it.
Learn to nurture that voice inside. We can trust ourselves. We can take care of ourselves. We are wiser than we think. Our guide is within, ever-present. Listen to, trust, and nurture that guide.

Today, I will affirm that I am a gift to myself and the Universe. I will remember that nurturing self-care delivers that gift in its highest form.

©2008. All rights reserved. Reprinted from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Hazelden Publishing, PO Box 176 , Center City, MN 55012-0176.

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Language of Letting Go 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 105 reviews.
rfm More than 1 year ago
This is a book of daily affirmations, but I found it to be much more helpful than the typical Stuart Smalley "You're good enough, you're smart enough..." tripe. It is aimed at people in codependent relationships but speaks profoundly to anyone with low self-esteem. There have been days when I thought the author was speaking directly to me -- that's how meaningful I have found it to be. You can open it anywhere and find something relevant. Since it is always in the bargain bin, I buy it over and over and give it to people I love who are struggling to be happier. Do yourself a favor and buy it.
dward13 More than 1 year ago
i was intorduced to this book a few years ago , i have passed it along to so many people i meet once again i find myself without a copy . for thanksgiving this year i bought the book for all of my family members , there is something for everyone !
Faith2Day More than 1 year ago
This book was recommended to me by an aquaintance. I originally purchased this book for a friend though I didn't give it to her because she purchased her own. I am about to give it to someone else. I feel people who find themselves feeling weak or unable to control their own destiny's should sit with this book to give them strength to move forward. It helped me to give this to someone who was in need of just that. Never rain on your own parade stand up and take control and release the people or things in your life that are pulling you down. If they are a very heavy weight why should they be your anchor? I call these people or things psychological and emotional vampires. They drain you of your own strength for their needs. In the words of a great lady named Ann Landers "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." I believe this to the truth and have lived by those words for many years. Gain strength starting with this book and others she has written. Melody Beattie was there and she speaks for many that are now in the same position. Melody offers a great deal of knowledge. Let her help you to grow stronger. Good Luck and Best Wishes to you.
bjm18 More than 1 year ago
This book was very highly recommended to me by a dear friend. It is absolutely an inspiration to me......I have even given this book as a gift to family and friends because it is so good. I use this book as sort of a "Good morning God" book and it helps me to be inspired throughout the day.......very specific........easy read......but full of wisdom!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was handed this book my first day of sobriety from Alcohol and Drugs. I have read it everyday since for the past 8.5 years. I now own a sober living home for women and we read this book every morning at our Daily Meeting. This book and the tools it offers have literally saved my sanity!! I have learned to be direct, to not take ownership of other peoples "stuff", to take care of me...the list goes on and on and on!!! This is a fantastic absolute MUST...if you suffer from co-dependency, low self esteem, or the inability to know or speak your truth! Get it, Read it, practice the tools...everyday...your life and relationships will change!!
lblackst More than 1 year ago
An amazing book that walks you through the healing process. You can read it daily because it is set up for each day in every month or you can look up topics in the back.
Yaneth Rignack More than 1 year ago
This book helped me so much through a difficult marriage and divorce. It helped me think about myself and realize that i did indeed have a right to be happy on my own. Gave me the strength to stand up for myself and enjoy life! I bught a copy for my friend.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is one of those books that everyone who is having a hard time of letting go and moving on with their lives. It is one of those books that you read and you can actually agree with. For anyone who feels bound by their anger, guilt, hurt or pain, I also recommend "When God Stopped Keeping Score." I thought that the book was just about forgiveness, I soon learned, it was about so much more than that. I was about how you should deal with friends, family and yourself and more importantly, how to keep these relationships strong when things go wrong. Having read it, I feel like a better person. Maybe because this book spoke to me and not down to me. I have read a lot of books that was written like I didn't know anything. What the author of "When God Stopped Keeping Score" does is talk to you like a friend. I needed that. You will understand why when you read it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Melogy Beattie describes the problem of codependacy so accurate word for word of what it's like to have this issue. I would highly recommend this daily book of meditations to help you on your recovery from Codependency, its a day by day journey toward freedom. I thank her for all her books. She is truly an expert on this topic.
Anonymous 12 months ago
whiteknight50 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This book changed my life. I highly recommend it to anyone who struggles with self worth, fear, addictions. It helped to change my outlook on life, and I am much better for it. Go get it!
aannttiiiittnnaa on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Offers a daily helping of support to those on the recovery journey, can calm a busy mind with a worthwhile reflection.
lsknightsr1 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Another brillant book by Melody Beattie! If you are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, or what many term "codependant" , then this book will be your rock in a stormy sea. I especially enjoyed the fact that it was a daily reminder to keep working on issues that are holding you back. Once again Beattie nails home the hard truths of codependancy, yet is still able to help the reader find ways to battle this demon all adult children of alcoholics carry with them. This book got me through many rough days and has helped me grow and become a better person for the reading of it.
MonicaLynn on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Helpful daily meditation. Enjoyed all of the messages and the time to take to read it. Daily was helpful!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Read it daily
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
LizzleVestrizle More than 1 year ago
This book can really help in all aspects of life, not just codependency or addiction. Everything time I read it I feel empowered, at peace or leading down the path to peace, and reminded that  I control my own outcome. That happiness lies within me and not others. That it is okay to "be human" and feel things and to face things and just deal with them. VERY DIRECT, NOT CHEESY AND JUST SPEAKS TO YOU ON ALL LEVELS. ( a big kick in the butt I LOVE IT) 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Even though I am an atheist, I am aware of the notion of cause and effect, and of the fact that, in general, if you always try to do good in your life, then you will always like yourself. You will have integrity. At the time I read this book I was a religious person, but even now that I am not, I would still recommend it because of its insistence on self-love and self-respect. This book emphasizes the notion that people are not to allow themselves to be used because both the victim and the user are degraded by the experience.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a must read every day...insight into all our thoughts, feelings & expectations and how to deal with them and those people who test us.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Excellent short daily readings on ways in improve your attitude towards life. Not pedantic.