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Kelly Flanagan is a psychologist, father, and blogger who is best known for the letters he has written to his children on his blog, one of which landed him on the Today Show with his four-year-old daughter.
In Loveable, Flanagan answers three fundamental human questions: Am I enough? How do I become unlonely? Do I matter? He shows us how to rediscover our worthiness and remember that we are good enough. He encourages us to shed the false self that keeps us lonely and to find people who accept us as we are. And he inspires us to fully embrace our passions, regardless of how ordinary those passions may be.
Reading like an extended love letter to readers, Loveable uncovers three essential truths: you are enough, you are not alone, and you matter. Flanagan invites us to disconnect from the distractions and demands of daily life and to listen more intently for the voice of grace within each of us, so we might fully awaken to the redemptive story we are here to live.
|Product dimensions:||5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.80(d)|
About the Author
Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. In 2012, he discovered writing was the thing he never knew he always wanted to do, so he began the now popular blog, UnTangled, where he writes weekly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and global lives. Kelly is married to another clinical psychologist named Kelly, because they decided to make life even more confusing than it already is. The Kellies—as they are called by friends and family—have three children, and they have a deal with them: they teach the kids how to grow up, and the kids teach them how to grow young.
Website and Blog: http://drkellyflanagan.com
Table of Contents
A Glimpse Behind the Scenes 9
The Backstory: The Wound, the Search, and the Healing
1 The Original Wound 17
2 The Search for Healing in Our Relationships 24
3 The Search for Healing Through Significance 29
4 Healing in Three Acts 35
Act 1 Worthiness (You Are Enough)
Dear Little Ones, You Are Enough (No Matter What) 47
5 You Are What's Underneath Your Underneath 49
6 The First Breadcrumb on the Way to Your Worthiness 55
7 Why the Secret to Being Worthy Is Doing Nothing 62
8 The Difference between Getting Rich and Living Richly 69
9 Why We Need to Quit Looking into Mirrors (and Become a Mirror) 75
10 The Good News That Sounds Too Good to Be True 82
11 What Grace Sees Underneath Your Mess 89
12 Worthiness Isn't Being Cocky (It's Being Honest) 95
13 You Are a Somebody (and So Is Everybody Else) 100
A Father's Letter to His Daughter (About the Worthiness of Everyone) 107
Act 2 Belonging (You Are Not Alone)
A Daddy's Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband) 111
14 Why Loneliness Happens, How We Make It Worse, and What We Can Do to Make It Better 113
15 A Castle, a Chrysalis, a Tomb, and a Bodyguard 121
16 How to Let Go of Your False Self 127
17 What If a Stiff Arm Is the Most Loving Thing You Can Give? 132
18 Maybe Heaven Really Is in Our Midst 137
19 The One Sentence That Can Disarm Any Bully 143
20 The Most Painful Part of Finding Belonging 149
21 When Announcing Yourself Means Announcing Your Need 155
22 Why Belonging Is Another Beginning 161
A Father's Letter to His Son (about the Only Good Reason to Get Married) 166
Act 3 Purpose (You Matter)
Words from a Father to His Daughter (from the Makeup Aisle) 171
23 The Thing You Never Knew You Always Wanted to Do 174
24 The Question That Can Silence Any Story 183
25 Why Backward Is the New Forward 189
26 Courage Isn't a Character Trait (It's a Direction) 196
27 Why There Was No Crowd at the Foot of the Cross 203
28 The Redemptive Relationship Between Passion, Pain, and Purpose 209
29 A Peace That Surpasses All Understanding 217
A Last Letter to My Little Ones (in Case I'm Not Around for the Important Moments) 224
Seasons, Sequels, and Souls 227
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I have been following Dr. Flanagan's blog for about a year and was pleased to hear that he had written a book and made sure I had time to read it. I loved the concepts in the book - taking the time to really understand yourself, your own worth and I loved the notes to his children that he put in the book. Overall there are some great ideas, but implementing them in your life, I felt, lacked. Now that I know this information, what do I do with it. How do I walk forward with this knowledge. I almost felt like I needed a counselor to help me do that :) **I received a copy of this book from BookLook to review. All opinions are 100% mine**
This book is insightful, kind & inspiring. A vulnerable & honest look at how we can step out of shame, redeem our ego & embrace our enough-ness, finding the people & causes we belong to & living our passions without ever once sending the message "do it my way." Brilliant. The world needs more guides along the path like this. Gonna go reread it now.
Author Kelly Flanagan brings readers on a journey to answer three questions in their lives: Am I enough? How do I become unlovely? Do I matter? Three questions that all humans will face at some point in their lives. In 'Loveable' Flanagan exposes areas of our lives that need to be dealt with to discover our worthiness and remember that we really are good enough. As a psychologist Kelly has a professional advantage in approaching the questions, but doesn't do so in the typical psycho babble most readers would expect on opening the book. He employs light hearted stories, personal failures and reveals specific situations in others lives where they have faced the most of decision: Am I really good enough. And yes he does include some typical rhetoric for those interested. On first diving in I felt the book started quick and was worried the tempo was too much to carry to the end, thinking I was going to hit the midway point and give up, or see Kelly repeating previous points in new wording. However I found he continued the pace and brought me deeper into self exploration with each new chapter, continuing to the end and neatly wrapping the book up. Something I found most valuable was his approach to the subject matter across age thresholds. Admittedly he focused often on the truth that the younger we discover these facts of self, the better suited we will be in the future. But he also covered other stages of life as well. Going back to the young ages though, as a father this is important to me. To be able to help my children find their value in life (self and God) and not in others will be necessary in the coming years. Over all I found this book to be very encouraging considering the subject. Often an author beats up the reader and then tries to bring encouragement to them. Kelly approached the subject by exposing lies and who the false self was, but in a way that was uplifting and not at all devaluing of the person as they go through the process. I would recommend you read this, regardless the state of self awareness you are in, chances are each one of us has a little bit of issue with feeling unloved or unworthy. *I received this book free through “book look bloggers” in exchange for a review. These are my personal thoughts.*
I don't know you, but I imagine you aren't much different than I am. I know I have struggled to feel like I am enough and like I matter, or what I do matters, on many days. Dr. Kelly Flanagan helps us take our lack, look at it, and then turn it aroundinto thoughts that encourage help us see that we are indeed "loveable." Loveable by Kelly Flanagan invites us to see our lives as a story with backstory and three acts: You are Enough, You are Not Alone and You Matter. Dr. Flanagan weaves his own stories and stories of others he knows into this book to help the reader learn better how to grow in their own life and to apply Dr. Flanagan's wisdom to their life. I would also add that while there are some references to God and church, there aren't a lot of Bible stories in the book to refer to. In some ways this is more of a series of memoir-style essays tied together with Loveable's theme. It is also a little like going to long-distance therapy where Dr. Flanagan's brokenness, compassion and honesty is shared with the client so they can learn and grow through their own brokenness. Before reading Loveable, I was not familiar with Dr. Flanagan. He is a psychologist, blogger, husband, father and has appeared on the Today Show for writing a letter to his daughter that went viral. I enjoyed this book. Having taken two Brene Brown classes, his work is along the same lines in dealing with shame and feelings of adequacy. Yet, his book is entirely different to read and I learned new things through his writings. I also felt his warmth and I enjoyed seeing some of his perspectives from the male viewpoint. I would recommend Loveable to anyone wanting to see their worthiness and grow through their shame and challenges into seeing themselves as a person who is learning to love themselves, is loved by God and who is loving others who are also valued by their Creator. I received Loveable from Zondervan. I was not required to write a positive review in exchange for the book.
Dr. Kelly Flanagan has these great blog posts (UnTangled) and so when I heard about his book, I was very excited to get an opportunity to read Loveable. His blog posts are so honest and deep that I felt confident that his book would be very similar. And he did not disappoint. I truly love how Dr. Flanagan used personal stories and metaphors in this book to delve into introspective topics that are typically difficult to discuss. His book is relatable and kind. Dr. Flanagan comes from a place of love, respect, and hope. Those characteristics really shine through in his work. I highly recommend this book. It is engaging, thought-provoking, and such a wonderful read. Thank you Dr. Flanagan! *I received a free Advance Reader Copy in exchange for my honest thoughts/opinions of the author's book.*