Making Children Mind without Losing Yours

Making Children Mind without Losing Yours

by Kevin Leman

Paperback(Revised Edition)

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We've seen the enemy, and they're small . . . and unionized.

If anyone understands why children behave the way they do, it's internationally known psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Kevin Leman. Using the 7 principles of reality discipline, this father of five and grandfather of four reveals a practical, action-oriented game plan to

- get kids to listen to parents
- encourage healthy attitudes and two-way communication
- turn off temper tantrums, minimize sibling rivalries, and foil finicky eaters
- put parents back in the driver's seat
- prompt long-lasting, positive behavior and instill values
- rear respectful, well-behaved children who become responsible difference makers in the world

Thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter and Dr. Leman's real-life examples give readers sure-fire techniques for developing a loving, no-nonsense approach for rearing children. With over a million satisfied customers, parents can't go wrong with this classic, perennial bestseller.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780800728335
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 08/01/2017
Edition description: Revised Edition
Pages: 336
Sales rank: 121,218
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, speaker, and educator who has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The New York Times bestselling author of over fifty titles, including The Birth Order Book and Have a New Kid by Friday, has made thousands of house calls for radio and television programs, such as Fox & Friends, The Real Story, The View, Fox's The Morning Show, Today, Morning in America, CBS's The Early Show, The 700 Club, and CNN. A former contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America, Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson, Arizona. They have five children and four grandchildren.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments 11

Introduction: Who's in Charge? 13

If your kids are in charge, it's time for a new game plan that's a win-win for all.

1 It's a Jungle Out There (and Maybe in Your Family Room Too) 23

Ever feel like Tarzan or Jane, grabbing vine after vine and occasionally falling, as you navigate the wilds of parenting? Here's what you need to know to manage the chaos in your jungle.

2 What Type of Parent Are You? 31

The three types of parenting styles and why balance is so important.

3 Why Kids Do What They Do 61

All social behavior serves a purpose. So what is your child really telling you?

4 All It Takes Is a Healthy Dose of Reality Discipline 77

What the seven principles are and why they're guaranteed to work every time.

5 How Not to Raise a Yo-Yo 101

Why inconsistency is deadly and consistency wins the game every time.

6 Perception or Reality? 117

The top three ways kids learn, and why what your child thinks counts more than what actually happens.

7 The Reward and Punishment Fallacy 139

Why reward and punishment don't work, and what to do instead to put you in the driver's seat.

8 How to Act When They Act Up 163

Taking advantage of your secret ace in the hole-you.

9 Stopping Power Struggles Before They Start 195

Secret strategies that work in everyday moments of conflict to achieve your desired result.

10 Tuff Love 217

How to know when you need to pull the rug out and what to do.

11 Especially for Solo Parents 241

Throw away guilt, give yourself a break, and discover what your children really want from you.

12 Danger: Blended Family Construction Zone 265

How to build a unified new team that respects each other and works together.

13 How to Really Be Your Child's Best Friend 283

Simple hut effective ways to ensure you are your child's most powerful ally long-term.

A Word of Encouragement 309

Top 10 Ways to Make Children Mind without Losing Yours 313

Notes 315

About Dr. Kevin Leman 317

Resources Dr. Kevin Leman 319

Customer Reviews

Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours 3.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 26 reviews.
Lorraines More than 1 year ago
This book is the best parenting book I have ever read. Not only is the advice practical but the book is entertaining and easy to read. I have used his techniques successfully with my 9, 4 and 3 year old girls. While there are references to the Bible in the book, it is not a book that is trying to convert you. I feel these references are to show where his values, and many others', are based, and to point out when someone may be quoting (or misinterpreting) scripture incorrectly to justify certain behaviors. The focus of the book is always how to raise your children, not what religion to raise them. It would be misfortunate for someone to pass on this incredible book simply because the author is Christian. If you are serious about a parenting book that will help you with your children, this is the best.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is by far the best parenting book i have ever read. It really works. Reality Discipline (which is taught in this book) only works if you are 100% devoted to disciplining your child. Otherwise it won't work. This book gives you different scenarios and examples to go aLong with his guidelines. Hope you enjoy
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was impressed with Dr. Leman's book. I'm very impressed that he understood the rod scriptures correctly and is against spanking. I'm glad to find a Christian author who is against spanking because often, authors just write their opinions on how they grew up, slap a label on it, and there's a book. He approaches the use of discipline very intelligently and is very practical. I'm, in general, impressed!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
One should know if there is any reference to Focus on the Family the material is going to be religious. Thats a given maybe you should research the author before buying any book they have written.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Throughout this book, I've thought, 'Why didn't I think of that?' Everything is such common-sense stuff. In the beginning of the book, Dr. Leman says that children are selfish, especially very young children, and they will try to get your attention by whatever means they can. He says if we 'don't buy, they won't sell,' meaning that sometimes parents encourage this negative behavior by giving in to their child's tactics. Dr. Leman says that our job as parents is to train children for the real world. Every suggestion he makes revolves around this theory. He also approaches spanking and says that there are situations that warrant spanking, but it should not be the first form of discipline. He says that 'Spare the rod and spoil the child,' is taken out of context and refers to the verse out of the bible that says 'Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.' I highly recommend this book!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great read and great advice! Loved the Christian aspect of the discipline. Wished he had more and more and more examples!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Dr Leman's insight and practical advise has allowed me to enjoy my kids today. By investing wisely in the early years of their life and using the practical ideas outlined in his book I have found parenting to be one of the most rewarding things in my life. I shiver to think how I would have boched up this job of parenting had I not laid my hands on a copy of his book when my first child was still a baby. She is 13 now and a beautiful young lady. Thanks Dr. Leman
Guest More than 1 year ago
If you are a parent this book is a MUST!! Dr. Leman makes you realize that you are not alone in dealing with the everyday troubles that come with raising children. He really makes you take a look at your own life and how you are raising your kids. One of my favorite things that he said in this book is; 'Our children belong to the Lord. He has given them to us 'on loan', with specific guidelines in his word for the training and enrichment of their lives.' I guarantee you'll get a lot out of this book.
nmhale on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
My daughter is at that age, the terrible twos, and the temper tantrums have kicked up. She has always been such a mellow and bright-natured girl, so this has been a challenge for us. I decided it was time to seek out some help in the discipline area. My mom gave me this book some time ago, so I took it off my shelf, dusted it off, and checked to see whether Leman's parenting philosophy on discipline would jibe with my own. Fortunately, it did.He calls his system Reality Discipline, which is just the term he invented to describe a system of accountability and consequences, based on children psychology and faith. In essence, he asks parents to try and stay calm, and respond to misbehavior with the consequences that the situation mandates. For instance, if a child intentionally breaks a toy, don't yell and scream. Simply have them help clean up the mess and explain that the money for replacing that toy comes out of their allowance, since we have to pay for what we break. If a child is having a temper tantrum, take them to another room, and tell them that they have a choice to make a fuss but not to bother your time with it. Don't give them an audience. In all situations, use prayer and faith to guide these decisions. He also has his opinions on spanking, which exactly coincide with mine; spanking is an option, but it should be used as a last resort for important situations, such as a child putting herself or others in a dangerous situation. The book is divided in two parts, the first explains his system and the reasoning supporting it, and the second addresses specific disciplinary scenarios that parents have addressed to him and how to apply Reality Discipline to those problems. Each part is liberally sprinkled with examples from his own family and from his clients. I really agree with his philosophy. He warns parents away from authoritarianism and permissiveness, and paints the picture of an authoritarian parents. This is something that I have endorsed since I studied child psychology. I firmly support natural consequences for misbehavior, and I am right in line with his points on spanking and time outs. The best part of this book was reading about specific applications to discipline problems, because I may have my general ideas about parenting, but taking those and using them in daily life is much more difficult. This book has already supplied me with great ideas, and will continue to be a useful resource for me in the future.
LindaMorris on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is one of my favorite parent-help books. Kevin Lehman makes raising children easy and gives you a few simple steps to follow. Lehman hits the nail on the head, giving parents confidence in discipling children.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Good book to read on parenting techniques
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I found this book insightful. I recomended it to one of my children who isn't a believer of any religion. I didn't feel religion was pushed in this book. Good principles are good principles no matter where they're found. And it should be known regardless of mans chosen form of worship, or absence thereof, we all need some help raising klds in our society. I am not tossing aside good sound material just because it has biblical referrences.
TDWx2 More than 1 year ago
I find it fascinating that so many of the low reviews have no text. Did you read the book? I love Dr. Leman's stuff. He has a strong faith, sure, but he makes sense, which is just so refreshing (and isn't that crazy that common sense is refreshing?)! He isn't afraid to talk about the faith basis for his life views, BUT his strategies for raising kids are ALSO based on science, experience, and logic. I also love that he doesn't pander to the super conservative in any of his books (I have read parenting and marriage offerings from him).
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Kevin Leman is a good author.
Both himself and the publishers of this book did not have to resort to such deceptive marketing. The book is based on religious themes, and the author seems to heavily push the religious agenda.
Too bad, even such learned people make such bad judgements.

Stay away from this one folks.