Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem: Strange Stories from the Bible to Leave You Amused, Bemused, and (Hopefully) Informed

Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem: Strange Stories from the Bible to Leave You Amused, Bemused, and (Hopefully) Informed

by Luke T. Harrington
Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem: Strange Stories from the Bible to Leave You Amused, Bemused, and (Hopefully) Informed

Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem: Strange Stories from the Bible to Leave You Amused, Bemused, and (Hopefully) Informed

by Luke T. Harrington

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Overview

Ever wished there was a book about some of the weirdest and most disturbing stories in the Bible that was also hilarious to read? You've found it. It turns out, there's a lot of strange stuff in the Bible, and this book takes a tongue-in-cheek look at all of it.

Approximately 80 percent of Americans admit they haven't read the Bible. If they did, they'd be pleasantly surprised by its impressive quantity of sex and poop jokes.

David danced naked. Noah was basically a moonshining hillbilly. Ezekiel baked poop bread. Herod was eaten by worms. Jesus cursed a fig tree, just to prove he could. Mark went streaking. Hosea married a prostitute. Lot was date-raped by his own daughters. This unique book:

  • Combines humor and education to give better insight into some of the strangest parts of the Bible
  • Organized by topic (poop, genitalia, weird violence, prostitution, gratuitous nudity, seemingly pointless miracles, and other fun stuff)
  • Is a thoroughly researched (really!), reverent, and insightful look at the best-selling book in history
  • Makes a perfect gift for pastors and white elephant parties

From Elisha, who loosed homicidal bears on some kids because they called him bald (it's a long story), to the story of Ehud, who gets away with assassinating a tyrannical king because his servants think said king is taking a dump (also a long story), this book examines and casts new light on some of the Bible's stranger moments.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780785234456
Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Publication date: 08/25/2020
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishing
Format: eBook
Pages: 240
File size: 1 MB

About the Author

Luke T. Harrington is the only boy who could ever reach you. He's the son of a preacher man. He’s also a humorist, podcaster, and award-winning novelist. His debut novel, OPHELIA, ALIVE, won a 2016 IPPY, and his work has appeared in publications including CRACKED, BUZZFEED, and CHRISTIANITY TODAY. Other projects include PROJECT CONARRATIVE, a collaborative multimedia experiment with bestselling author K.B. Hoyle, and CHANGED MY MIND WITH LUKE T. HARRINGTON, his podcast where he interviews people who have changed their minds about big, important things. He lives in Wisconsin with his wife and two daughters.

Table of Contents

Introduction: I Was a Teenage PK xiii

Chapter 1 I Like Biblical Butts and I Cannot Lie (Butts, Poop, and More!) 1

Chapter 2 There Is No Commandment to Wear Pants (Nudity, Much of it Gratuitous) 29

Chapter 3 All Right, Let's Get Started on the Sex Stuff (There Is a Lot of It) 55

Chapter 4 And Now for Something Completely Violent (Horrific Violence, Some of it Involving Bears) 85

Chapter 5 Take a Tip from Me (Circumcision and More Phallic Phun!) 111

Chapter 6 Medium-Sized Pimpin' (The Many Adventures of Biblical Prostitutes) 137

Chapter 7 It's Magic! (Seemingly Unnecessary Miracles) 161

Chapter 8 Strange Flesh (Incest and Outcest) 183

Conclusion: Probably the Most Depraved Passage in All of the Bible 205

Acknowledgments 217

About the Author 222

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