Naked and Unashamed: A Guide to the Necessary Work of Christian Marriage

by Jerry Root, Claudia Root, Jeremy Rios

Overview

Happy marriages don't just happen.

Despite the abundance of magazines and self-help books available, people continue to struggle with marriage. Wedding planners, consultants, Pinterest pages, and bloggers have shaped young hearts to dream and plan for the biggest day of their lives. The day is everything, and they will plan each element with precision, from flowers to cake decorations to party favors. Couples will spend an enormous amount of time and money preparing for the wedding, but they will spend little to no time in preparation for the marriage itself.

It takes work to make a marriage successful. Divorce rates are clear evidence of this, but so also are the many married people who are in dire need of counseling and care, who persist in loneliness and difficulty, feeling ill-equipped to navigate the unforeseen difficulties of marriage.

​This book exists to coach couples through strategies which will assist them to succeed.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781640600652
Publisher:	Paraclete Press
Publication date:	06/01/2018
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.60(d)
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Jerry and Claudia Root have been married for 42 years, they have four married children and thirteen grandchildren. Jerry is a Professor and Claudia an Adjunct Professor at Wheaton College. They have invested their lives in student ministry through the church and through education. Jerry has performed over 900 weddings and done premarital counseling for at least 600 couples whose weddings he did not perform. That's 3,000 people who have benefited from the material within this book. The Roots make their home in Wheaton, Illinois. Jerry has lectured about C. S. Lewis at more than 50 college and university campuses, and in a dozen countries around the world. He is also the author of six other books.

Jeremy Rios has been married to Liesel for 14 years. A graduate of Wheaton and Regent Colleges, he pastored two churches in Vancouver where he used this material in his own premarital counseling. He currently lives with his family in St. Andrews, where he is working toward his doctorate. Jeremy has written four other books.

Table of Contents

Preface: The Purpose of This Book vii

Some Preliminary Guidelines for Engaged Couples ix

Chapter 1 The Necessary Work 1

Part 1 Undressing for Intimacy 17

Chapter 2 Undressing Your Stories 18

Chapter 3 Undressing the Heart 28

Chapter 4 Undressing the Mind 38

Chapter 5 Undressing the Soul 48

Part 2 Unpacking Communication 63

Chapter 6 Unpacking Gender 64

Chapter 7 Unpacking Communication 80

Chapter 8 Unpacking Woundedness 100

Part 3 Exploring Expectations 123

Chapter 9 Exploring the Expectations of Family and Culture 124

Chapter 10 Exploring the Expectations of Parenthood 136

Chapter 11 Exploring Financial Expectations 148

Part 4 Undressing for Sex 159

Chapter 12 Undressing the Sexual Self 160

Chapter 13 Undressing for a Life of Sex 180

Chapter 14 Undressing for the Wedding Night 192

Part 5 Final Words 199

Chapter 15 On the Writing of This Book 200

A Selected Bibliography of Marriage Helps 205

Acknowledgments 207

Notes 209

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“I have performed scores of weddings over the years, and my wife and I have done the pre-marital counseling. I wish this insightful book had been available for us.”
—Lyle W. Dorsett, PhD, Billy Graham Professor of Evangelism, Beeson Divinity School
 
“Naked and Unashamed is a must-read for any couple seeking to do Christian marriage in a way that is glorifying to God. Part master class, part playbook, this frank and easy-to-understand guide is packed with critical insights and practical wisdom that can be applied immediately. This book leaves its readers equipped to engage in their marriage relationship in a truly transformational way. I cannot recommend it highly enough.”
—Michelle Moujaes, Founder and Executive Director, Faithtree Resources
 
“Beth and I are just one of hundreds of couples that have been blessed to begin our marriage journey together with Claudia and Jerry Root, and the sweet delight of our nearly 30-years marriage owes much to that first push in the right direction we received from our time with them. Learning to be truly intimate—to dare the hard work of sharing stories, hearts, minds, dreams, aspirations, and, lastly, bodies—is the long road of marriage. This book is a reliable map to that road.”
—The Very Rev Chip Edgar, Dean and Rector of the Anglican Cathedral Church of the Apostles in Columbia, SC

“I have known Jerry and Claudia Root for many years, and there is no one I would trust more to help couples understand what a strong and healthy and God-honoring marriage requires. I am acutely aware of the need for practical wisdom to help prepare couples for the life-long journey of marriage, and that is precisely what they have given us. I can't wait to put this book into practice in our church!”
 —Jeff Frazier, Lead Pastor, Chapelstreet Church, Geneva, IL

“My wife and I have spent four decades doing pre-marital and marital counseling. I wish we’d had this book when we began. Jerry and Claudia Root’s insights come from a lifetime of scholarship, pastoral care coupled with their experiences of living faithfully in the covenant of their own marriage. The insights found in Naked and Unashamed are, in a word, invaluable. We will definitely be using this book in future pre-marital counseling.”
 —Pastor Reed and Lisa Jolley, Santa Barbara Community Church

“I have known Jerry and Claudia Root for many years, and there is no one I would trust more to help couples understand what a strong and healthy and God-honoring marriage requires. I am acutely aware of the need for practical wisdom to help prepare couples for the life-long journey of marriage, and that is precisely what they have given us. I can't wait to put this book into practice in our church!”
 —Jeff Frazier, Lead Pastor, Chapelstreet Church, Geneva, IL

“This is not just a book for those contemplating marriage, it’s for all of us, no matter how many years we have been married. I recommend two copies, one for yourself and one for a couple that you know needs this critical Biblical perspective.” 
—Dr. Erwin W. Lutzer, Pastor Emeritus, The Moody Church, Chicago


"Refreshingly frank and direct in its guidance, Naked and Unashamed sketches out the field of Godly marriage realistically, but also includes the relational fences that safeguard couples. Root, Root, and Rios disenchant us with fairy tales in order to re-enchant us with vulnerability, wonder, sex, communication, and more—things that make marriage and family sustainable. This compelling read will be my book of choice for the next round of pre-marital counseling!"
–Dru Johnson, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Biblical & Theological Studies, The King's College, New York