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Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts

Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts

by Daniel Shapiro

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“One of the most important books of our modern era” –Amb. Jaime de Bourbon

For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you. 
Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed-door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and families in crisis, Daniel Shapiro presents a universally applicable method to successfully navigate conflict.  A deep, provocative book to reflect on and wrestle with, this book can change your life.
Be warned: This book is not a quick fix. Real change takes work. You will learn how to master five emotional dynamics that can sabotage conflict outside your awareness:

1. Vertigo: How can you avoid getting emotionally consumed in conflict?
2. Repetition compulsion: How can you stop repeating the same conflicts again and again?
3. Taboos: How can you discuss sensitive issues at the heart of the conflict?
4. Assault on the sacred: What should you do if your values feel threatened?
5. Identity politics: What can you do if others use politics against you?

In our era of discontent, this is just the book we need to resolve conflict in our own lives and in the world around us.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781101626962
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 04/19/2016
Sold by: Penguin Group
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 352
File size: 3 MB

About the Author

Daniel L. Shapiro is a world renowned expert on the psychology of conflict resolution. Named one of Harvard’s top 15 professors by The Harvard Crimson, he founded and directs the Harvard International Negotiation Program and regularly advises everyone from hostage negotiators to families in crisis, disputing CEOs to clashing heads of state.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Why This Book? xiii

Section 1 Why Do We Get Stuck in Conflict?

1 Emotionally Charged Conflicts Are Hard to Resolve 3

2 Identity Matters (More Than You Think) 5

3 Is Identity Negotiable? 13

4 How to Avoid Getting Lured into Conflict 26

Section 2 How to Break Free

5 Stop Vertigo Before It Consumes You 35

6 Resist the Repetition Compulsion 55

7 Acknowledge Taboos 75

8 Respect the Sacred-Don't Assault It 97

9 Use Identity Politics to Unify 119

Section 3 How to Reconcile Relations

10 Bridging the Divide: A Four-Step Method 141

11 Uncover the Mythos of Identity 149

12 Work Through Emotional Pain 173

13 Build Crosscutting Connections 186

14 Reshape the Relationship 204

Section 4 How to Negotiate the Nonnegotiable

15 Manage Dialectics 219

16 Foster the Spirit of Reconciliation 239

Acknowledgments 241

Appendices 247

Notes 253

Select Bibliography 309

Index 323

Additional Resources 333

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