A breakthrough approach for a good night's sleep--with no tears
There are two schools of thought for encouraging babies to sleep through the night: the hotly debated Ferber technique of letting the baby "cry it out," or the grin-and-bear-it solution of getting up from dusk to dawn as often as necessary. If you don't believe in letting your baby cry it out, but desperately want to sleep, there is now a third option, presented in Elizabeth Pantley's sanity-saving book The No-Cry Sleep Solution.
Pantley's successful solution has been tested and proven effective by scores of mothers and their babies from across the United States, Canada, and Europe. Based on her research, Pantley's guide provides you with effective strategies to overcoming naptime and nighttime problems. The No-Cry Sleep Solution offers clearly explained, step-by-step ideas that steer your little ones toward a good night's sleep--all with no crying.
Tips from The No-Cry Sleep Solution:
- Uncover the stumbling blocks that prevent baby from sleeping through the night
- Determine--and work with--baby's biological sleep rhythms
- Create a customized, step-by-step plan to get baby to sleep through the night
- Use the Persistent Gentle Removal System to teach baby to fall asleep without breast-feeding, bottlefeeding, or using a pacifier
About the Author
Elizabeth Pantley, author and parent educator, is frequently quoted in numerous magazines including Parents and Parenting. She and her husband live in Washington state with their four children--and all sleep through the night.
Read an Excerpt
the no-cry sleep solutionGentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
By Elizabeth Pantley
McGraw-HillCopyright © 2002 Better Beginnings, Inc.
All right reserved.
Chapter OneDo a Safety Check
Because you haven't had quality sleep since before pregnancy or since your new baby entered your life, you may feel that nothing is more important right now than getting a full night's sleep. But there is indeed something much more important than sleep: your baby's safety. So it's critical that we start there.
In their quest for a few more minutes of shut-eye, well-intentioned, but sleep-deprived parents make mistakes. I have heard and read about many situations in which parents put their babies in unsafe situations, all in the name of a few hours of sleep. Here are a few of those stories. I've listed only those with happy endings—but sadly, many other stories end differently.
Parents of a newborn knew they shouldn't have their fluffy quilt in bed with the baby, but they were cold without it. One night, the mother woke to find that her baby had burrowed under the heavy quilt.
One baby's mother was so elated when her baby fell asleep on the sofa that she left him there to nap while she went to work at her computer. A loud thump had her running to the family room where she found her baby crying on the floor.
A mother with a baby who refused to nap admitted that when her baby fell asleep in the car seat, she left her to sleep in the garage while she went in to make dinner. She didn't want to risk waking her up by moving her to her crib.
Parents of a baby boy received a beautiful antique crib with an ornate headboard from relatives. They'd intended to investigate the safety features of the crib but hadn't gotten around to it. One night, their screaming baby woke them. They ran quickly to his room and found him wedged between the headboard and the mattress.
Many of the safety mistakes that parents make are because of poor decisions, while others are because of a lack of knowledge. You need to know a lot when it comes to your baby's safety. In this important chapter, you'll learn the need- to-know things about your baby's sleep-related safety.
Yes, you're tired, too tired perhaps to read through the vast body of information, research, and guidelines out there on the subject of safety. Maybe you'll get to it soon, but your good intentions are not enough to keep your baby safe, and you need this information right now.
No matter how tired you are, no matter how tempting the situation seems, please be sure that you put your baby's safety above all else.
I've gathered safety information from a wide variety of reputable sources and authorities, including the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Alliance, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, and the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths. And from all this, I have created sleeping-safety checklists for your review. Please read this brief section, and give it serious consideration.
Keep in mind that these lists cover safety issues relating to sleep at home. You should, of course, be aware of many other safety issues—at home and away. Also, because safety precautions are updated constantly—and because all babies (and their families) are different—no checklist is fully complete and appropriate for every child. I ask that you please talk with your pediatrician about your particular baby. Do your homework, and please, put safety first.
The Foremost Safety Worry: SIDS
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is one of the main safety concerns of all parents of babies. SIDS is the sudden and unexplained death of an infant younger than one year old. SIDS, sometimes known as crib death, is a major cause of death in babies from one month to one year of age. Most SIDS deaths occur when a baby is between one and four months old. The death is sudden and unpredictable; in most cases, the baby seems healthy. Death occurs quickly, usually during sleep. After thirty years of research, scientists still cannot find a definite cause or set of causes for SIDS or a way to predict or prevent it. But research has uncovered some factors that appear to reduce the risk, which I have incorporated into the safety information and lists that follow. (This information about SIDS is from the U.S. Public Health Service, American Academy of Pediatrics, SIDS Alliance, and Association of SIDS and Infant Mortality Programs, SIDS "Back to Sleep" Campaign.)
Back to Sleep
Many babies may sleep better and longer on their tummies. However, a number of studies have scientifically proved that babies who sleep on their tummies are more susceptible to SIDS. This is a statistical percentage meaning that not every baby who sleeps on her tummy will die of SIDS, and avoiding tummy sleeping is not a 100 percent guarantee against it. Nevertheless, it is the most important recommendation for you to know about. While a few babies actually benefit from tummy sleeping, back sleeping is safest for most. You'll need to talk with your pediatrician about your particular baby.
Several theories support the back-to-sleep recommendation. One is that some babies who die of SIDS fall into a deep sleep and do not raise their heads to get oxygen. The other theory is that pressure on a tiny baby's chest compresses his diaphragm, preventing him from taking sufficiently full breaths. Regardless of the reason, the fact remains that, with all of the unknowns surrounding SIDS, putting your baby to sleep on her back is the single action that is proven to decrease risk.
In all of my research, I have been unable to pin down an exact age when belly sleeping is safe. However, most researchers tend to imply that once your baby is holding her head up steadily and rolling from belly to back and back to belly quite easily on her own, you can put her to sleep on her back and then let her find her own comfortable position. In the meantime, once your doctor confirms that back sleeping is best for your baby, please put her to sleep on her back. If you have a little one who resists this sleep position, you can use the following suggestions to encourage back sleeping.
Let your baby nap in a car seat, stroller, or infant seat. Sleeping in any of these will keep your baby slightly curled, rather than flat on a mattress; many tummy sleepers enjoy that position much better. Just be sure to follow all safety precautions, which includes keeping baby nearby. (Manufacturers of all car seats, strollers, and infant seats warn parents to never to leave a baby alone in any of these seats.) Watch to be sure your baby doesn't curl too far forward.
If your baby is a newborn, try swaddling her for sleep. (See page 83.) Being wrapped in a blanket prevents her natural startle reflexes from waking her up.
Wait until your baby is in deep sleep before gently turning him over. You will recognize this stage by his limp limbs and even, steady breathing.
Talk to your doctor about the possibility of a compromise: side sleeping. Ask if a sleeping wedge or tightly rolled baby blanket can be used to hold your baby in this position.
Although various products are available to keep a baby in the back-sleeping position, their safety has not been tested, and at this time they are not recommended. At this writing, several sleep wraps have been designed to hold a baby swaddled in a back-sleeping position and they are just becoming available. Ask your doctor or hospital about any new inventions.
Finally, if you still choose to have your baby sleep on her tummy, or if your doctor has approved this position, make certain that the mattress is even, firm, and flat, and that every time you put her to bed, the sheets are smooth and tightly secured. Also, don't put any pillows, blankets, or toys in bed with her. If you still have concerns, ask your doctor or hospital about renting a sophisticated baby monitor so that you can keep track of sound, movement, and breathing.
Once your baby is sleeping on her back:
Don't let her sleep in the exact same position every night and nap. Move her head from one side to the other, and vary her position in the crib, or the placement of the crib itself, to encourage her to look in all directions. This will prevent the back of your baby's head from becoming flat (a condition called positional plagiocephaly).
Avoid leaving your baby lying on her back in a stroller, car seat, or swing for long periods during the day.
Place your baby on her tummy often when she is awake to encourage head and body movement and physical development of all muscle groups.
Back Sleeping at Day Care
According to some studies, 20 percent of SIDS deaths occur in child-care settings. Not all child-care centers have policies on infant sleep positions, and even when they do, not all child-care providers abide by the AAP's recommended guidelines. It's important for you to know that babies who are not used to sleeping on their stomachs are at a particularly high risk for SIDS if they are placed in this position for sleep. Check on the policies in your child-care center, and be sure that they are placing your baby in the proper sleep position as recommended by your doctor.
General Sleeping Safety Precautions for All Families
Do not allow anyone to smoke around your baby. This holds true whether your baby is asleep or awake. Babies who are exposed to smoke face an increased risk of SIDS, as well as other health complications, such as asthma.
If your child spends time with a child-care provider, baby-sitter, grandparent, or anyone else, insist that safety guidelines are followed in that environment also.
Keep your baby warm, but not too warm. Keep the bedroom at a comfortable sleeping temperature, usually between 65°F and 72°F (18°C to 22°C). Be careful not to overheat your baby. If your newborn comes home from the hospital wearing a hat, ask your doctor if he should wear it to sleep and for how long. A hat could contribute to overheating.
Do not use blankets or comforters under or over the baby. They can entangle your baby or become a suffocation hazard. Instead, when the temperature warrants, dress your baby in warm sleeper pajamas layered with an undershirt.
Dress your baby in flame-resistant and snug-fitting sleep-wear, not oversized, loose-fitting cotton or cotton-blend clothing. Billowy or cotton fabrics pose a burn hazard in case of fire or even with a close encounter with your stove or fireplace.
Do not allow your baby to sleep on a soft sleeping surface such as a pillow, sofa, water bed, beanbag chair, pillow-top mattress, foam pad, sheepskin, feather bed, or any other soft and flexible surface. Baby should sleep only on a firm, flat mattress, with a smooth, wrinkle-free sheet that stays securely fastened around the mattress.
Do not leave stuffed toys or pillows in bed with your baby. You may leave a small, safe "lovey" as described on pages 117–119 with a baby more than four months old who can roll over and lift and move his head easily.
Keep night-lights, lamps, and all electrical items away from where Baby sleeps.
Make sure you have a working smoke detector in Baby's sleeping room, and check it as often as the manufacturer suggests.
Do not put a baby to sleep near a window, window blinds, cords, or draperies.
If your baby is sick or feverish, call your doctor or hospital promptly.
Keep your baby's regular appointments for well-baby checkups.
Never shake or hit your baby. (The National Commission on Sleep Disorders Research concluded that infant abuse often occurs when a parent is sleep-deprived and at the end of his or her rope. If you feel like you may lose your temper with your baby, put her in a safe place or with another care-giver, and go take a breather.)
Never tie a pacifier to your baby with a string, ribbon, or cord, as any of these can become wound around your baby's finger, hand, or neck.
Follow all safety precautions when your baby is sleeping away from home, whether in a car seat, stroller, or unfamiliar place. Take extra time and care to create a safe sleeping place for your baby, no matter where you are.
Never leave a baby unattended while in a stroller, baby seat, swing, or car seat.
Never leave a pet with access to a sleeping baby.
Learn how to perform infant cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Be sure that all other caregivers for your baby are also trained in infant CPR.
Keep your baby's environment clean. Wash bedding often. Wash your hands after diapering your baby and before feeding. Wash Baby's hands and face frequently.
Breastfeed your baby whenever possible. Breast milk decreases the risk of certain illnesses and infections, which, in turn, can decrease the risk of SIDS and other health problems.
Pay attention to your own health and well-being. If you have feelings of anxiety, panic, confusion, sadness, regret, irritability, or hopelessness, you may be suffering from post-partum depression. Please see your doctor and explain your symptoms. This condition is common, and treatment is available.
General Safety Precautions for Cradles and Cribs
Make certain your baby's crib meets all federal safety regulations, voluntary industry standards, and guidelines of the CPSC's most recent recommendations (cpsc.gov). Look for a safety certification seal. Avoid using an old or used crib or cradle.
Make sure the mattress fits tightly to the crib or cradle, without gaps on any side. (If you can fit more than two fingers between the mattress and side of the crib or cradle, the mattress does not fit properly.)
Make certain that your crib sheets fit securely and cannot be pulled loose by your baby, which may create a dangerous tangle of fabric. Do not use plastic mattress covers or any plastic bags near the crib.
Remove any decorative ribbons, bows, or strings. If you use bumper pads, make certain they surround the entire crib and that they are secured in many places—at a minimum, at each corner and in the middle of each side. Tie securely, and cut off dangling string ties.
Remove bumper pads before your baby is old enough to get up on his hands and knees. If your baby can pull himself to stand, make sure the mattress is on the lowest possible setting. Also, inspect the area around the crib to make sure no dangers await him if he does climb out of the crib.
Be certain that all screws, bolts, springs, and other hardware and attachments are tightly secured, and check them from time to time. Replace any broken or missing pieces immediately. (Contact the manufacturer for replacement parts.) Make sure your crib or cradle has a sturdy bottom and wide, stable base so that it does not wobble or tilt when your baby moves around. Check to see that all slats are in place, firm, and stable—and that they are spaced no more than 2? inches (60 millimeters) apart.
Corner posts should not extend more than 1/16 inch (1½ millimeters) above the top of the end panel. Don't use a crib that has decorative knobs on the corner posts or headboard and footboard designs that present a hazard, such as sharp edges, points, or pieces that can be loosened or removed. Always raise the side rail and lock it into position. Make sure your baby cannot operate the drop-side latches.
Don't hang objects over a sleeping or unattended baby—that includes mobiles and other crib toys. There is a risk of the toy falling on your baby or of your baby reaching up and pulling the toy down into the crib.
If you are using a portable crib, make sure the locking devices are properly and securely locked.
Make sure your baby is within hearing distance of your bed or that you have a reliable baby monitor turned on.
Check the manufacturer's instructions on suggested size and weight limits for any cradle, bassinet, or crib. If there is no tag on the crib, call or write the manufacturer for this information.
Any crib or cradle your baby sleeps in when away from home should meet all of the above safety requirements.
General Safety Precautions for Co-Sleeping
The safety of bringing a baby into an adult bed has been the subject of much debate. All four of our babies have been welcomed into our family bed. My husband, Robert, and I have naturally allowed our children to share our bed, and our children have enjoyed sleeping in a sibling bed as well. The fact that we have religiously followed known safety recommendations for sharing sleep with our babies is of the utmost importance.
Excerpted from the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley Copyright © 2002 by Better Beginnings, Inc.. Excerpted by permission of McGraw-Hill. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of ContentsForeword by William Sears, M.D.
Part 1: Ten Steps to Helping Your Baby Sleep All Night
Chapter 1: Do a Safety Check
The Foremost Safety Worry: SIDS
General Sleeping Safety Precautions for All Families
General Sleeping Safety Precautions for Cradles and Cribs
General Sleeping Safety Precautions for Co-Sleeping
Chapter 2: Learning Basic Sleep Facts
How Do We Sleep?
How Do Babies Sleep?
What is a Sleep Problem?
How Much Sleep Do Babies Need?
What About Nighttime Feedings?
What Are Realistic Expectations?
What is the Right Way to Teach a Baby to Sleep?
Chapter 3: Crate Your Sleep Logs
Let's Get Started!
Chapter 4: Review and Choose Sleep Solutions
Part One: Solutions for Newborn Babies--Birth to Four Months
Part Two: Solutions for Older Babies--Four Months to Two Years
Chpater 5: Create Your Personal Sleep Plan
Chapter 6: Follow Your Plan for Ten Days
What If You Can't Do it All?
The Road to Success is Really More Like a Dance
Chapter 7: Do a Ten-Day Log
Chapter 8: Analyze Your Success
Evaluate Your Sleep Plan
If Your Baby Is Now Sleeping Through the Night (Five or More Consecutive Hours)
Chapter 9: Follow Your Plan for Ten More Days
Every Baby is Different; Every Family is Different
How Long is This Going to Take?
"I've Tried Everything! Nothing Works! Help!"
Chapter 10: Complete a Log, Analyze Your Success, and Revise Your Plan if Necessary Every Ten Days
Keep This Book Handy
Part II: Let's Talk About You
Chapter 11: Baby's Sleeping (Finally!) but Mommy's Not
How to Get a Good Night's Sleep?
Chapter 12: Final Thoughts--Mom-to-Mom
We Are Alike
If You've Just Begun
Living for the Moment?
Patience, Patience, and Just a Little More Patience
For More Information
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
If you're reading this, you're probably extremely tired, so I'll try to cut to the chase! 1. The title is a misnomer - it should be "No Cry sleep solutionS". You pick from about 50 different ideas, each tailored for different situations and put a plan together that suits your baby and your parenting style. There are ideas for co-cleepers and for cot-sleepers. Ideas for bottle feeders and ideas for breast feeders. Ideas for dummy users, car-seat sleepers, older babies and new borns. It's really individualised. 2. Pantley herself co-slept and breast-fed BUT, unlike almost any other parenting book out there, she not only respects other parenting choices, she provides solutions that will suit the bottle-fed, cot-sleeping baby etc. She is never judgemental, never tells you you have only yourself to blame for your child's sleeplessness and never tells you what to do. I'd read these books even if they didn't work because she's so encouraging! So refreshing not to feel you've been beaten over the head with a stick! 3. She had 4 kids and worked with loads of test families. I only have 1 but she has had 3 periods of poor sleep, 2 after developmental leaps and 1 after 9 days illness. Each time, we've tailored a slightly different plan using this book and the nap book. We've seen about 30-50% improvement immediately which has given us energy to hang on 6-10 more days for a real turnaround. It's not as quick as controlled -crying but it's far less painful. No tears for Mum and Dad and you can look your child in the eye in the morning. 4. This really is a third way - I actually can't contemplate controlled crying but some Attachment Parenting books seem to suggest you leap joyfully out of bed 8 times a night in sheer delight at meeting your child's needs night or day. I'm not going to force my baby to work out how to sleep on her own and if she needs me, she gets me, but if I can gently lead her towards a full night's sleep without tears, it means I can function much better and be the kind of creative, fun, loving Mum I want to be during daylight hours rather than the grouchy wreck I was who was, snappy with everyone, especially those I loved most, and a menace behind the wheel of my car!!!! I really wish you joy with your baby and I wholeheartedly believe this book will help you experience much more of that. Just a final note, I thought the nap book would be a rewrite of this one but we have both and it really does have enough new information in it to be worth getting if naps are also an issue.
Take my word for it, this book is an absolute must-have for any parent who is fighting the sleep battle with their baby and doesn't believe in letting them cry it out. I have been fighting a bedtime battle with my five month old son for months now. He absolutely REFUSED to go to bed before midnight, and by that time he was literally passing out from exhaustion, as was I, after being an inconsolable terror for four or five hours. I tried everything. Nothing made him happy, nothing stopped the fussing, not playing, not eating, not a diaper change, nothing. I'm a first time mother, and when I would share my problems with some of the more experienced mothers I knew, they would simply tell me to put him in bed and let him cry. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't listen as he screamed and gasped for breath until he was coughing and gagging. And I didn't see how this could possibly foster a trusting relationship between us. So I started looking online for possible solutions and came across mention of Elizabeth Pantley's book. I jumped in my car and drove straight to the bookstore to buy a copy, came home, and read it cover to cover. This book is filled with so much helpful information that you can use in any situation. Whether you have a newborn or a baby who is a little older, whether you breastfeed or bottlefeed, whether you co-sleep or your baby sleeps in a crib. It even address other issues such as making the transition between co-sleeping and sleeping in a crib. I immediately began using the techniques that Elizabeth Pantley wrote about in this book, and for the last three nights my son has been in bed asleep by 7:30 at the latest. And during the day he is a whole new baby. Well-rested, happy and playful. And I.well I am a much happier well-rested woman and because of that I am able to be the kind of mom I want to be. If sleeping is an issue with you and your baby, whether it's what time they go to sleep or whether they sleep through the night, you MUST read this book. I assure you, you won't regret making the investment.
I purchased this book mostly based on reader reviews and I was not disappointed! It was near impossible to get my five month old son to fall asleep (for bedtime OR a nap) with out a very long process of rocking/walking/bouncing/swaying/crying/you name it. And he would almost always wake up (usually crying) the moment I placed him in his crib and I had to start all over again. It was exhausting and stressful and I came to dread nap times and bed time. That is until I discovered this book. In just four short days my son was falling asleep more quickly and more peacefully than ever before. Our nap routine has been cut from 20 plus minutes to about five minutes! Bedtime is actually enjoyable. Tonight, day 7, I put him in his crib after just a few minutes of cuddles after reading and he woke up. I was actually able to lull him back to sleep with a song in about one minute. I'm still in shock. I'm able to sit down and write this review because my son is sleeping peacefully right now, thanks to this book. If you are looking for help with a sleep issue please try this book. I don't know why anyone would even attempt to let their child cry it out if there is an alternative like this. In the past seven days my son hasn't shed one single tear due to a sleep related issue. It works! Plain and simple.
I came across this book after trying the cry it out (CIO) technique with my son when he was only 7 months old and it was like a pray. That may sound exaggertated but if you are feeling as desperate as I was to make your baby sleep and just couldnt bear them crying out for you while you ignored them, this is for you!! That was the most painful experience I have ever had during parenting. If you feel the same, this book is for you. When I first bought this book, I was very very tired, I was very upset (feeling like a failed mum), I was stressed and NOT in need of another book full of ideas for "textbook babies". Sound familar? My son is an individual and not passive, he is stubborn and strong willed and many books make babies sound like easily trainable things but that just isnt true. They have personalities (even as newborns) and have like and dislikes that are all individual to them. Reading this book was like sitting down with a good friend who suggested lots of different ideas which YOU choose. The ideas are really well thought about. They are not the obvious "how can I fill another page in my book" type of ideas. They were really useful, clever ideas used by parents which could be easily adapted or cut out completely depending on the personality of your baby. You decide and you get to try them all out in a structured easy to follow way. The book is written very clearly and its easy to just navigate to the page you need. You dont need to sit and read every single page to work out what the author wants to tell you however, I found that despite being sooooooo tired, I wanted to read it all (especially the first few chapters) because it truely felt like a friend was sitting in front of me and telling me about her experiences and really really relating to my desperation. I felt like I sat there reading the book and its ideas and saying "wow, that could really work...or, noo,I dont think that would for us because of xyz but yeah actually if I try that instead it may" I definitely give this book 5/5. Excellent! Full of really good ideas! Easy to read! Puts things into perpective! Most of all, slowly but surely, bedtimes become a very very enjoyable experience again, full of love. I used to walk away from my sons cot feeling upset at seeing him upset, feel tired and worn down. I now walk away from my sons cot each evening, brimming over with how much I love him and reflecting on how lovely our time together that day has been. This is all thanks to Elizabeth Pantley!
This book has made a huge difference in our home and the way we sleep. My son is 7 months old and was waking 7 to 8 times a night still. The only way I could get him back to sleep was through breastfeeding - EVERY time he woke up. He began sleeping in my bed because I couldn't stay awake and feed him that many times a night and still get up and function for work in the morning. One weekend, I read The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I was pleased to find in the book there were solutions for all kinds of families; families that breastfed or bottlefed, co-slept or didn't, and anything in between. This book offered SO MUCH advice and support. It provided lots of things you could do to help your baby sleep better without making one drastic change that is tough on you and baby. Ms. Pantley's book offers a way to help your little one sleep without using cry it out methods. We started on a Monday with, what I considered, small changes and by Thursday we were seeing results. My son went from waking 7 to 8 times a night to only waking 2 times!! It was amazing. If your little one is having trouble going to sleep, staying a sleep, or getting back to sleep - read this book. It will help you.
I asked around other mums and professionals and searched the internet high and low for strategies to help get my baby to sleep and I kept getting the answer as 'let him cry himself to sleep', 'shut the door to the nursery and turn up the tv' and other such notions to this effect. I was adament that this was NOT the way I was going to treat the baby I had craved for such a long time and along came a link to the book 'THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION'. I immediately bought the kindle version and read it all almost in one go! Pantley's views and strategies for gently teaching your child to sleep on their own spoke to my heart. The book is easy to read and gives ideas in an easy to follow manner covering all possible scenarios. The personal anecdotes from herself and her 'test-mums' make you realise there are other mums pacing the halls late into the night all dreaming of sleep and determined to not leave their baby's to fall asleep crying also. This was a revelation to me as all I had been told was to leave them to cry themsleves to sleep so that they would 'learn the lesson'. When other mums now ask me how I get my baby to sleep I mention this book and they also have the same response as I have done... 'No tears? Then that's for me!' Elizabeth Pantley is my new herione!
I got this book about 3 weeks ago. What interested me was the no-cry part, because my 4 month-old daughter was sleeping quite well but cried a lot before falling sleep. I had been told that it was normal, that some babies need to cry themselves to sleep. Well I couldn't stand it anymore! I loved the book and applied lots of the tips in it. Now not only does my daughter fall asleep without crying, but she takes longer naps and wonderful 12 hours nights!! I wasn't expecting that, but I am sooo happy :) I think everyone can benefit from it, since it is very flexible. Thank you Elizabeth!
I am a first time mother to a wonderful four month old baby girl. I found the No Cry series through the Dr Sears website and I have to say that it has changed our lives! We were in a cycle of rocking our baby to sleep every night up until 12 weeks of age. We co-slept up to that point and I was exhausted! I got to that point of not being able to do it for one more night and I read the No Cry Sleep Solution in a couple of hours. I put it into motion that same night. I used the Phases that the book suggests and realized after two nights that we were already making HUGE progress! After a week, I was able to put baby in her crib 90% awake and have her fall asleep on her own. She is still a pacifier fan but I will use the Gentle Removal Plan when the time comes to go there - for now, she uses it when she first falls asleep at night and then rarely after that. She only wakes once a night and generally refuses the paci at that time - she is starting to sleep right through on occasion as well! Last night, I put her in the crib fully awake and crossed my fingers - she did it!! A little whimpering but she was out in less than 10 minutes! The best part of all of this - NO CRYING! I really struggled with the whole idea of letting her CIO at any age - despite numerous people telling me that it was the only way to teach her to sleep on her own... so sad that so many babies are subjected to such a cruel thing. These books understand that all families and all babies are different. If you are looking for a one size fits all magic arrow, this will not be the book for you, and I would venture a guess that there is no such thing. If you are looking for a series of adaptable tools that you can use to guide your baby gently and lovingly with no crying, this is the book to buy! There are many different ways to deal with a plethora of challenges that babies throw at us when it comes to sleeping (or not!) and Elizabeth hasn't missed anything. Most importantly, this book gives you the courage to stick with whatever course of action you choose - never claiming that it will be easy, but always reminding you that a babies development is a process and like all processes, it takes time. If you are considering this book, chances are that you have spent a great deal of time not sleeping, so spending a little bit more time with a goal in sight isn't a huge change! My success happened very quickly! We went from rocking our baby to sleep to her falling asleep on her own when fully awake within a week. That was over a month ago :) Honestly, NO CRYING!!
I wouldn't say this book is a cure-all, but it offers many helpful tips for improving baby sleep - leaving lights on during naps, but off at night; observing how much stimulation baby gets at night and eliminating TV, for example, if it seems to disrupt sleep; giving a bath before bed; etc. The author also points out that the medical definition of sleeping through the night is 5 or 6 hours - "not the eight you may have been hoping for."
Does your baby cry every night when you put her to bed? Does she wake up in the middle of the night and cry for you to come hold her? Go to her every time and risk having a spoiled child. Let her "cry it out" and you¿ll cry too. What¿s a parent to do? The No-Cry Sleep Solution is the answer to every parent's sleep problems whether your baby sleeps in a crib or co-sleeps and whether your baby is breast or bottle-fed. Using the many tips provided, you will create a plan based on your baby¿s needs. If you¿re ready to get a full-night's sleep but don¿t have the heart to let your baby cry it out, The No-Cry Sleep Solution is for you.
I found this book inspiring the first time I read through it, but once I sat down to try to implement some of it, it seemed that it was really all the same advice you'd get anywhere (have a sleep schedule, a soothing word, consistency, etc) only better organized. So although I think its a good book in theory, it didn't actually help me.
Straight-forward, practical advice on getting your baby to sleep. I like the fact that the author offers advice on how to put together a customized sleep plan based on your particular situation as opposed to a strict, one-size fits all method.
This book may have worked for an easy baby but not mine. This book talked about a lot of nothing. Biggest waste of money
I used this approach on my son and it worked after a looooong while. With my 2nd baby, I used the Ferber method and his approach was more effective and taught my daughter to be a better sleeper. I feel like this book delayed my son's ability to sleep through the night and self soothe. I regret using this method bc I think it was more of a crutch and delayed giving him the skills he needed to be a good sleeper.
Your baby will sleep, but it is not a quick fix. I was desperate and wanted a no cry it out solution. This was just what I needed. It helped me set realistic expectations for my child's sleep habits and provided us with steps to get us in the right direction. I recommend this book to all of my friends. It was so helpful. It was a bit difficult in the beginning as I was so desperate for sleep, but I read it all in about a day. There are a lot of different ideas that you can pick from to suite your family best. Everyone I know who has read this has had great success with this. I repeat this was NOT a quick fix for us, but with time we made little improvements and finally got our child sleeping through the night on her own. I hope you find this book as helpful as I have.
I read this book when I was exhausted of waking up over 6 times a night, now I know I should have read it before! It is great how most of the situations the author described fit perfectly into my own and described my frustration. As you read through you start having hope that your baby's sleep and your own will improve and amazingly in a couple of months my baby sleeps through the night and takes long peaceful naps. The best thing, I never let her cry it out. It is directed to all mothers; working or not, breastfeeding or bottle feeding, babies who sleep in cribs and babies who sleep with their parents, newborns or toddlers, teething, sick...everyone! I am so happy to have this book which I will apply since day one with my other babies. Highly recommended and a must have to every family who want a nice sleep at night and happy faces in the morning. There are tons of practical and useful ideas from which you can choose those that best fit your situation and they are suggested in the most heartfelt way. Parenting is a beautiful stage but sometimes you cannot enjoy it as much if you feel exhausted, this is the perfect guide to being a joyful well rested mother and have a happy well rested baby so you can enjoy your time together.
Reading this has given me hope for a sleepless night without having to cry it out. Helpful tips that I keep going back to when any bump in the road shows up.
An absolute god send. I was almost at my wits end and was recommended this book. Not only does it give so many helpful suggestions, it makes you feel good about yourself as a parent. After months and months of no sleep and beginning to feel down in myself, Elizabeths words gave me the hope and strength I needed. After a few days of doing some changes to my sons sleep routine there was a HUGE difference! After only a few weeks he was going off to sleep by himself…. no tears!! If you want to feel great again and have your little one sleeping happily and soundly then you need this book!
Are you sleepy? Is your child keeping difficult to get to sleep, or do they wake up all night long? Buy this book. You won't regret it. I bought this book in desperation when my twins just wouldn't sleep. They battled ear infections and colds, so I knew that was part of the problem. But I also knew that I would have to change my ways. I couldn't stand to hear them cry, and when they got really cranked up, it just fed the other twin's anxiety. I knew Cry It Out methods just wouldn't work for my family. I read Elizabeth Pantley's book (a very quick read, by the way), and found the information in it to be affirming of my own parenting style. I also found a plan I could clearly follow. In fact, I had instictually followed her plan with my daughter (now 4 and an EXCELLENT sleeper). I just needed to follow it with my twins. If you are struggling with your child's sleep and don't feel that the Cry It Out methods will work for your family, this book can help you. Do not expect overnight results, but you will sleep if you follow Ms. Pantley's plan. Good luck and zzzz's to you!
I stumbled upon the “No-Cry sleep solution for babies” like many other parents when my sleep depravation started to have bad consequences on my daily mood and my ability to gently care for my child. My wife and myself knew, that we wanted a loving sleep teaching for our kids and that we didn’t want them to fall asleep while crying. When we found Elizabeth Pantley’s book, it was like a breath of fresh air in our daily exhausted routine. This book was exactly what we had been looking for. A book that understands the troubles in which parents can be when their kids don’t sleep, a book where there is no judgment for parental behaviour once sleep lacks, a book that acknowledges that every child is unique and different and that his needs to fall asleep vary. This book also emphasizes on the fact that sleep education is a fundamental part of children’s education and that it should be considered as such. Hence it means that this takes time, consistency and efforts and that no short-term solution can bring success to the child. The various proposed solutions are like a toolbox where the parents can choose which tool best applies to their child. Some of them will work, some of them won’t, but Elizabeth Pantley, who uses comforting words to the parents, understands all this. This gave us a lot of assertiveness to approach our children’s sleep. With the second baby, I thought I could use the techniques I learned with the first one. Well I was mistaking! I pulled the book out of its shelf and it became my daily book for several weeks, again! Like I said, every child is different and needs different approaches. One thing is always the same: Every child needs his parents to learn how to sleep on his own and a sane sleep is the key for a peaceful life. If you aren’t a sleep expert and want to bring to your child this peaceful start in life without letting him cry, this book will definitely help you reach that goal !