No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together

No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780802414939
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Publication date: 02/07/2017
Pages: 272
Sales rank: 669,024
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 7.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author


MARK AND JILL SAVAGE are passionate about encouraging, educating, and equipping families. After serving in church ministry for twenty years, the Savage's are meeting the needs of families as authors and speakers through Hearts at Home, a ministry to moms. The parents of five young adult children, and grandparents of three, the Savage's make their home in Central Illinois.

JILL SAVAGE is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging families. She is the author of nine books including Professionalizing Motherhood, My Hearts At Home, Real Moms...Real Jesus, Living With Less So Your Family Has More, and her most recent bestselling release No More Perfect Moms. Featured on Focus on the Family, Crosswalk.com, and as the host of the Heartbeat radio program, Jill is the founder and director of Hearts at Home, an organization that encourages moms. Jill and her husband, Mark, have five children, two who are married, two granddaughters, and one grandson. They make their home in Normal, Illinois.

Table of Contents

Foreword 9

Introduction 11

1 Welcome to Our Real Marriage-and Maybe Yours 15

2 What's Your Blueprint? 29

3 Pick Up Your God-Tools! 45

4 Love the Real, Not the Dream 77

5 If It Matters to Me, It Should Matter to You 99

6 When I Said "I Do," I Didn't Mean That! 115

7 The Dishes Go in the Dishwasher Only One Way 137

8 "I'm Not Overreacting!" 163

9 Beware the Quicksand 179

10 Naked But Not Ashamed 203

11 Contentment, Freedom, and Hope 215

Appendix A Personal Operating System Inventory 221

Discussion Guide 233

Acknowledgments 259

Connect Mark Jill 261

About the Authors 263

About Hearts at Home 265

Notes 267

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“In the years I have known Mark and Jill Savage, I have watched them walk through major challenges with amazing grace—and have seen how God created something beautiful in and through them. Mark and Jill have learned lessons the hard way that we can learn simply by being willing to listen and act. I love how this book combines both of their voices to give us an encouraging and very practical picture of the steps they took, and which any of us can take to build the marriage we’re longing for.”
-Shaunti Feldhahn | Social researcher and bestselling author of For Women Only and For Men Only

“Many people say you can fix a broken marriage, but Mark and Jill show you how. Through this book, they share their story while also giving you tools and principles to strengthen your imperfect marriage. This is a wonderful resource for every married couple.”
- Juli Slattery | Psychologist and president of Authentic Intimacy

“Jill and Mark have come back from despair as they experienced their marriage go over the cliff into a pit of destruction. By challenging themselves to grow and uncover the roots of what made their marriage difficult you will learn how to help your own marriage. Join Mark and Jill on their journey of change as they take ownership, forge new paths, and experience the blessings of perseverance.”

- Milan and Kay Yerkovich | Authors of How We Love

“Real. Raw. Relatable. That’s what Mark and Jill Savage are No More Perfect Marriages. Whether your marriage needs a makeover or just a tune-up, the Savages’ message of hope and healing will resonate and encourage you. Mark and Jill have experienced “for better or for worse,” and I for one thank them for being so transparent. They’re right—every marriage is a fixer-upper—including mine. Even after twenty-seven years of marriage, No More Perfect Marriages encouraged me. Biblically sound, culturally relevant and covenant-minded, No More Perfect Marriages is for every married couple!”

- Heidi St. John | Author, speaker, and podcaster at TheBusyMom.com

“Not surprisingly, Mark and Jill have written a very vulnerable, honest, and helpful book for couples who sometimes wonder about their “imperfect” marriages. No More Perfect Marriages is like having a casual conversation over coffee and sitting through an intense counseling session all in one. If you want to improve, save, restore, or renew your marriage, read this book.”

- Mike Baker | Senior Pastor, Eastview Christian Church, Normal, IL

“In the sea of marriage resources, No More Perfect Marriages stands out in an exceptional way! Providing honest, straightforward insight, the Savages share how to keep a marriage from entering a slow fade of numbness which morphs into a flat line. With a fresh awareness and authentic sincerity, No More Perfect Marriages is a must read for anyone who desires a vibrant, effective marriage!”
- Laura Petherbridge | Speaker, and author of When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t” and coauthor of The Smart Stepmom

 

No More Perfect Marriages is filled with practical tools and biblical wisdom that will empower readers to create healthier responses when facing marital challenges. I am excited about adding Jill and Mark Savage’s story and wisdom to our recommended resources for couples seeking counseling at our center.”
- Michelle Nietert | Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, Clinical Director of Community Counseling Associates

“For too many years, I thought I was the only one in a “hard” marriage. Everyone else made it look so easy, so perfect, so . . . happy. Sure, we had our share of happy moments, but we also had more than a few moments of grueling struggle, hard work, and frustration. With an honest and hard-earned voice, Mark and Jill Savage bravely replace the Hollywood mirage of a storybook romance with a healthy blueprint of a real and rock-solid relationship. If you’re looking for authentic story, practical how-to, and hope to build a true and lasting love, you’ve found it.”
- Michele Cushatt | Speaker and author of Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life 

 

No More Perfect Marriages is a book that every couple wanting a better marriage must read. With boldness and transparency, Jill and Mark nail the biggest challenges in marriage and offer real, biblically based solutions. I've been married thirty-five years and my husband and I will read it together!”

- Meg Meeker | Bestselling author and creator of the online course The 12 Principles of Raising Great Kids

“Couples in all stages of marriage will benefit from this book and its practical suggestions that are based on biblical principles. Specifically, Mark and Jill teach readers how to recognize and deal with seven dangerous “slow fades” that can creep into a marriage at any time. I highly recommend this book and I appreciate Mark and Jill’s willingness to share their story in order to help others.”
- Deb Alexander | Married to Jerry for twenty-six years

“Great to see a book written from two points of view, and this makes it a perfect book to read and discuss with your spouse. Sharing your past honestly and openly helps us see and understand ours more clearly. Thanks for the tools for future use! You’ve kept them simple, explaining their practical applications throughout your book. Your tools are timeless, useful for any stage of marriage.”

- Don and Cathy Roberts | Married forty-five years (the best is yet to come!)

“This book fills a unique niche in the marriage help category. Using the theme of home renovation appeals to the hands on, nuts and bolts crowd, while at the same time offering honest and intimate insight into matters of the heart. An invaluable tool for any married couple. I think Jill and Mark have really nailed it with this one!”

- Robyn Williamson | Married (happily!) twenty-three years

“While I would have loved reading No More Perfect Marriages twenty years ago, I was happy to learn there are still things that I can do to make my marriage better. Every season of a marriage brings challenges and this book pinpoints those and offers aplanto work through them.”

- Marcia Fetzer | Pre-reader

No More Perfect Marriages helped me see and identify the differences between my husband and me. I had to confront and challenge my belief that I was right and my husband was wrong about how we approach life. This book helped me to better understand my husband, and it gave me tools to help deal with these differences. It really changed my outlook on my marriage.”

- Julie Fritsch | Pre-reader

“In their candid, down-to-earth style, Mark and Jill share from personal experience lessons they have learned and insights they have gained from their marriage. This book can help any couple in any stage of marriage build a better relationship. We wish thisbook had been written before we got married!”

- Scott and Bonnie Miller | Married thirty-seven years and still learning about each other

No More Perfect Marriages gave us a real-life, real-time way to discuss the difficulties of being a married couple in today’s world. So good to know we are not the only ones who struggle, and that God’s grace is real!”

- Nate Klinger | Husband, pastor, preacher, worship leader, and pilgrim on the journey

Customer Reviews

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No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 24 reviews.
swebb More than 1 year ago
The book “No More Perfect Marriages” by Mark and Jill Savage came at a time when I needed it most! This book is the real deal! Raw and uncut comes to mind when trying to describe this to others. This book contained real life stories and advice that helped when I really needed to refocus. Things seem to be falling apart in many areas of my life. It was time for a change, and that change had to start with me. Looking to put in the work for your not so perfect marriage? This is the book for you!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and found it was a lot different than most in its content than other marriage books. If you are needing help or struggling in your marriage this is the book you need! I promise!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am so grateful for Jill and Mark Savage’s authenticity and wisdom. The Savages believe that hurting marriages can heal and good marriages can be great; that foundation of hope and confidence permeates their new book, No More Perfect Marriages. My marriage is stronger after reading this book, and I believe yours can be, too. With a powerful blend of poignant anecdotes, helpful strategies, and biblical principles, the Savages guide readers on the journey to a healthier, holier, and happier marriage. Jill and Mark provide couples the opportunities to take several quizzes that help husband and wife discern the the way they love, the manner in which their love has been twisted, and the different approaches to processing and thinking which, when left unexplored, sabotage all too many marriages. I found the tools Mark and Jill provided to be both helpful and hopeful; their insights were remarkably clear and articulated with grace. The Savages ask important and challenging questions, which kept me engaged and wrestling throughout. I cannot recommend this resource too highly. I truly believe it will help many; it can help you like it helped me.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Jill and Mark Savage have written an amazing book on marriage. This book that I could share with my husband, brought up some tough, but needed discussions. The book really helped us to look at and analyze why each us act and react the way we do. And then it provided us with the tools needed to really make a change in our own hearts and in our marriage. We loved the assessments and exercises that we could work through in this book. There are very few books that can provide the type of insight to make you rush to your spouse and say “I have a better understanding of myself and why I do what I do.” Thank you for writing such an amazing book!
Mama66 More than 1 year ago
I have Read a lot of Jill’s books she never disappoints and No more perfect marriages is no different! This book has valuable tools to strengthen your communication and understanding of each other. No matter what season you are in in your marriage or soon to be married, you will benefit from reading this book! Together or alone you will reap its benefits!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is honest and eye-opening, really a must ready for anyone who is or is to be married. Mark and Jill have been through a lot and are very transparent in how they struggled, and more importantly how we can learn from their pain. They are real and don't hold back. Do your marriage a favor, and buy this book!
Cheri5 More than 1 year ago
No More Perfect Marriages by Mark and Jill Savage is a great resource for any married couple. It’s an in-depth study that helps married couples figure out their own personalities and how those personalities interact with their spouses. It has wonderful resources, great advice and wonderful insight into “why people think, react, feel, etc.” like they do. This is a book that shouldn’t be read lightly. It’s a wonderful resource to read slowly and savor and then keep on your bedside for deeper reflection. In addition, it’s a great book to read multiple times, targeting certain sections for when tune ups are needed. A valuable resource that you will want to share with your friends by buying them their own copy because you won’t want to lose your own copy. I received this book for free in exchange for being a part of the launch team however, all opinions expressed are solely mine.
Robyn Dykstra More than 1 year ago
Couples need to hear that even in the midst of hardest seasons of marriage, fresh starts are possible. No More Perfect Marriages identifies the triggers and teaches strategies to refine or restore marriages. A must have for couples! Avoid the pitfalls and climb out of current potholes with this great book. It will be your go-to resource for marriage.
Meeshia More than 1 year ago
This amazing marriage book should be on every shelf of those who are thinking of marrying, those who are in pre-marital counseling and those who are celebrating many years in their marriage. Honest. Transparent. Biblical. Encouraging. There are too many books written on marriage today that leave the reader seeing and knowing what is wrong with their marriages, but not really given any tools to know how to make any real changes. I believe this book is one of the most encouraging, real books there is on marriage today. I love the way Mark & Jill wrote this book in a ‘he-said, she-said format’ sharing their own thoughts and experiences. They share sound and biblical advice and walk through their journey in hind-sight 20/20 fashion. You will find yourself feeling confident that the same God who healed their marriage is in the business of healing and strengthening yours!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Must Read for All Marriages! Mark and Jill share honest stories of the ups and downs of marriage, which our marriage could completely relate to. They offer such practical advice and helpful questions that help you process the content. I highly recommend!
RachelK915 More than 1 year ago
Mark and Jill have written a great book, full of good practices to help make any marriage better. They have a conversation style to their book, which is nice to read. What I love the most is the emphasis that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but there are LOTS of ways to have a great one. And no marriage is beyond hope. No matter where you might find yourself in marriage, if you're willing to make changes for the better, your marriage will make changes for the better.
CCatlin More than 1 year ago
Jill and Mark have done this one together and what a book it is. Just like the other No More Perfect books they give your personal perspective and helpful hints they learned along the way. I love this book and wished it would of come before I had kids. This is not a pointing your finger type book and placing blame somewhere, but a book intended to draw a couple closer together and become more of what God intended ONE.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a great book for any married person. Jill and Mark Savage guide you on how to better understand, and grow closer to your spouse, and see what makes each other tick. It is the most straight forward, easy to follow marriage book that I have read. And it is so real and honest. It doesn't read like a lecture, it reads like you are having a real honest conversation with friends. It is written by a couple who has been through a lot in their marriage, but has come out on the other side, stronger than ever. I think many of us tend to have unrealistic expectations of perfection in marriage, but this book helps you to realize your spouse is not wrong, just different. Whether your marriage is hurting or you just want to make it stronger, this book is a great resource that is easy to read and easy to put in to practice.
CarrieCush More than 1 year ago
I love Jill Savage and all she does through her books and Hearts at Home organization to encourage and support women! I was thrilled at the opportunity to preview this book in her launch group. This book, written with her husband Mark, exposes the reasons why marriages struggle. They are refreshingly honest about their own relationship and are dedicated to helping others improve, save, and restore their marriages. This is a perfect book for marriages in any stage.
GuidingLight More than 1 year ago
No More Perfect Marriages is a very down-to-earth book written by Christians who have “been there, done that” and who are hoping to help other Christian couples avoid some of the pitfalls they found themselves in. In Jill Savage’s usual manner of having her readers feel like they are sitting right next to her drinking a cup of coffee (or whatever you enjoy) and just talking as friends, her and her husband discuss serious issues with fun and humor – as well as some extremely knowledgeable and already tried experience and suggestions. This book will help EVERYONE – whether in a relationship or not – take a look at themselves and evaluate things that need to be improved for the sake of your current (or future, if not married) spouse. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book to those who are looking to improve themself or their marriage – all using Christian principles.
Tracye_G More than 1 year ago
If only EVERY married or soon to be married couple had this book! Whether soon to be married, contemplating divorce, a few years married or married for decades, it provides invaluable tools to strengthen your communication and understanding of each other. Mark and Jill write in such a way that you are drawn in by their honesty, transparency and real life viewpoint. Their story of redemption gives hope to so many others that are struggling and is a great encouragement to reconnect with your spouse. It's packed FULL of practical tools to transform every marriage. Written by a REAL couple in the real trenches of doing life together, not just a clinical perspective. Whether you read with your spouse or by yourself, it has the potential to change the dynamics of your relationship. Just in the couple of weeks since reading it, our understanding of each other's unique qualities and our ability to communicate more deeply has grown exponentially.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Very practical marriage book that gives wonderful tools for navigating the marriage road. Have read many marriages books over the years and this was by far the best. It's real and it's enjoyable. Worth every second to read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
My husband and I decided to read this book together. A first for us!! Wow! It really brought up some tough, but needed discussions. The book really helped us to look at and analyze why each us act and react the way we do. And then it provided us with the tools needed to really make a change in our own hearts and in our marriage. Thank you Mark and Jill for being so transparent and open and encouraging us to really look into our own hearts and marriage and have some of those difficult discussions. Are marriage is becoming stronger and more intimate every day.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a great book for insight into making all marriages better. Whether you are happily married for 20+ years or looking to do some repair work to a rocky marriage, this book is the place to turn. I guarantee you will gain insight and perspective you haven't considered once you read this book.
Buffy More than 1 year ago
This is an honest look at marriage fades - how we all drift apart in many ways. Mark and Jill address common marriage difficulties, and provide tools to bring your marriage back into focus. My favorite part is all the different personality types that you find out about yourself and your spouse, and how to get to know them and yourself better. The Savages are living proof that there can be reconciliation after an affair, and you can be stronger than ever. THERE IS HOPE!
jsanck15 More than 1 year ago
No More Perfect Marriages is a book that all couples should read. Marriage takes work, and things can see one way but in reality, are a completely different way! This book gives practical tips and strategies for working with your spouse to get to the root of issues in a constructive way. Mark and Jill are transparent in their advice, sharing their prior experience with marital strife. They are relatable which makes this book so fantastic. It will help you look past the "happily ever after" expectations and start to see the realness of marriage and how it was designed. This book would also be ideal for a small group, as there are fantastic discussion questions at the end of each chapter. No matter your stage in marriage, this is an excellent read.
Annie-Blue More than 1 year ago
I have trying to find a book that helps my husband and I connect. This is the book, it has many things that makes it stand out in the sea of "marriage help books". One: Mark and Jill have gone thru what many marriages have gone thru, infidelity. This book combines Christian beliefs, and a brutally open and honest relationship with the authors. I love the alternating points of view in this book, it helped my husband get something out of it --it isn't just your ordinary couples book. You have assessments, and insights that help your marriage and relationship with God grow. I could see it used in a Young Married Group at our church, or even a Couples Christian retreat. A must read. I plan to read it again, because I think a person can find more in a book even after reading it a first time.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
We've been married 40+ years and my husband hasn't ever read a marriage book with me or been interested, but the 1st chapter drew him in to this marriage book and he loves it! Often one spouse or the other is the one to pursue reading marriage books, so I see it as really special when a book draws both spouses to read and share it!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Ok, so there are books, and then THERE ARE BOOKS. As a woman who ministers to other women I’ve read so many books on marriage/relationships that I’ve used to encourage others...but then I read one that seem to speak directly to me and my own marriage. Mark and Jill Savage capture with true authenticity the struggles that all married couples encounter. The struggles that WE personally have encountered. Like feeling minimized. Or ruled over. Or dismissed. They encourage building healthy “hedges” to protect your relationship. I believe that the tangible resources and advice they offer, if applied, have the ability to transform your marriage. I’m incredibly grateful for the timeliness of this book, its authors, and of its message. It’s a must read. Jayne Patton