The hilarious tale of the UK Independence Party's journey from rags to riches and back again from a front-line activist.
Paul Oakley had five minutes of fame at a Young Conservative conference when he ripped up a copy of the Maastricht Treaty at the end of his speech attacking John Major's European policy. He stood for the Tories in the 2005 general election but failed to lie convincingly enough to be added to the A list of candidates when David Cameron became party leader. So in 2011 he renounced his Tory membership in a fit of pique and joined UKIP.
Although second-placed candidate on the UKIP London MEP list in 2014, his Brussels posting was thwarted. If the two counterfeit UKIP parties and backfolded ballot papers weren't enough there was a killer blow. A false allegation of sexual assault by a homeless Bulgarian was made against his right-hand man which hit a tabloid front page on polling day.
Commiserated by the party with the post of London regional enforcer, he then had to deal with all sorts of members' escapades, not least those of loose cannons Winston McKenzie and Islamosceptic Anne Marie Waters.
Paul Oakley plotted with Nigel Farage and Arron Banks to knit a net for UKIP MP Douglas Carswell but that spoilsport left the party just before this net was cast and so cheated the hangman. Having cleverly wangled his way to take over as candidate for Carswell's Clacton seat, Oakley performed abysmally there in the 2017 general election and failed to be elected. Again.
Consoled once more with the post of General Secretary which dealt with a higher calibre of misdemeanours, Oakley took on the solemn task of knifing then-leader Henry Bolton and forcing him from office.
Paul Oakley is a firm supporter of new leader Gerard Batten who saved UKIP from bankruptcy in the face of a repugnant legal case and has increased membership by 50%. Yet he remains unconvinced of two things. Firstly, that Gerard's advisor Tommy Robinson is the pantomime villain he is portrayed to be by the mainstream media. Secondly, that Banging On About Islam is wise at a time when all the forces of the establishment are conspiring to betray Brexit.
And if Brexit is betrayed both Oakley and UKIP itself pledge that British politics will thereafter become 'Emotional'.
This personal history from a populist insider also covers the adventures of David Kurten, Peter Whittle, Steve Woolfe, Suzanne Evans, Paul Nuttall and all the others you've forgotten about.
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|Publisher:||New English Review Press DBA Wrld Encounter Inst|
|Product dimensions:||5.98(w) x 9.02(h) x 0.98(d)|
Table of Contents
1 - From Tory Scum to UKIP Fascist 11
2 - Year Zero 20
3 - Never, Ever Trust a Defector 26
4 - Infighting. Metaphorical—and Real 33
5 - UKIP: Pied Piper of Conservatives 42
6 - London Calling. Or not. 48
7 - Go Back to Your Constituencies. And Prepare for Government! 53
8 - ‘Get that bastard off!’ 61
9 - The Lure of Brussels 67
10 - Rats in a Sack. Some are cunning, others not so. 74
11 - In, Out, Shake It All About 82
12 - This Thing Just Got Real 90
13 - Three Million Jobs, My Arse 97
14 - Swindled by the Establishment 104
15 - Stop Them! By Any Means Necessary. 113
16 - I Get Knocked Down. Yet I Get Up Again 120
17 - Never, Ever, Ever Trust a Defector 134
18 - Winston Makes a Nuisance of Himself 144
19 - A Bird is Rogered 153
20 - Getting Fit to Fight a General Election 162
21 - Thank You, Suzanne! 170
22 - The Silence of 4 Million Voices 181
23 - Weasels Rip His Flesh 188
24 - It’s a London Thing 193
25 - Flying on Fumes 200
26 - ‘North London Jewish Cunt’ 208
27 - Banging On About Islam 214
28 - Gays, ‘GO’ and Galloway 220
29 - Naughty Suzanne! 228
30 - London Hasn’t Fallen After All 235
31 - The Answer Is—We’re Out 246
32 - Hungry Like the Woolfe 258
33 - I’m the Leader of the Gang, I Am 267
34 - Stoke Up the Boiler 272
35 - The Execution of Douglas Carswell 278
36 - Brenda from Bristol is a Very Wise Lady 292
37 - Clacton Carpet-Bagger 297
38 - The Suicide of Anne Marie Waters 304
39 - It’s SO Unfair! 310
40 - Let’s Go to Work 315
41 - Thwarted. Again. 326
42 - Time to Relax? Er—no 334
43 - Buggins’ Turn 338
44 - Henry Who? Phew 346
45 - Reign of the Badger-Strangler 357
46 - The Assassination of Henry Bolton 365
47 - Oh—Tommy, Tommy! 385
48 - A Good Day to Bury Bad News 392
49 - Stop the Khanage 397
50 - Clowns to the Left of Us 402
51 - Jokers to our Right 409
52 - So Long. Farewell 416
53 - Oh—Gerard, Gerard! 423
54 - The King is Dead 429
55 - Never Mind the Bollocks. Here’s the Brexit Betrayal. 434