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No One Likes Us, We Don't Care: a UKIP Brexit Memoir

No One Likes Us, We Don't Care: a UKIP Brexit Memoir

by Paul Oakley


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The hilarious tale of the UK Independence Party's journey from rags to riches and back again from a front-line activist.

Paul Oakley had five minutes of fame at a Young Conservative conference when he ripped up a copy of the Maastricht Treaty at the end of his speech attacking John Major's European policy. He stood for the Tories in the 2005 general election but failed to lie convincingly enough to be added to the A list of candidates when David Cameron became party leader. So in 2011 he renounced his Tory membership in a fit of pique and joined UKIP.

Although second-placed candidate on the UKIP London MEP list in 2014, his Brussels posting was thwarted. If the two counterfeit UKIP parties and backfolded ballot papers weren't enough there was a killer blow. A false allegation of sexual assault by a homeless Bulgarian was made against his right-hand man which hit a tabloid front page on polling day.

Commiserated by the party with the post of London regional enforcer, he then had to deal with all sorts of members' escapades, not least those of loose cannons Winston McKenzie and Islamosceptic Anne Marie Waters.

Paul Oakley plotted with Nigel Farage and Arron Banks to knit a net for UKIP MP Douglas Carswell but that spoilsport left the party just before this net was cast and so cheated the hangman. Having cleverly wangled his way to take over as candidate for Carswell's Clacton seat, Oakley performed abysmally there in the 2017 general election and failed to be elected. Again.

Consoled once more with the post of General Secretary which dealt with a higher calibre of misdemeanours, Oakley took on the solemn task of knifing then-leader Henry Bolton and forcing him from office.

Paul Oakley is a firm supporter of new leader Gerard Batten who saved UKIP from bankruptcy in the face of a repugnant legal case and has increased membership by 50%. Yet he remains unconvinced of two things. Firstly, that Gerard's advisor Tommy Robinson is the pantomime villain he is portrayed to be by the mainstream media. Secondly, that Banging On About Islam is wise at a time when all the forces of the establishment are conspiring to betray Brexit.

And if Brexit is betrayed both Oakley and UKIP itself pledge that British politics will thereafter become 'Emotional'.

This personal history from a populist insider also covers the adventures of David Kurten, Peter Whittle, Steve Woolfe, Suzanne Evans, Paul Nuttall and all the others you've forgotten about.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781943003242
Publisher: New English Review Press DBA Wrld Encounter Inst
Publication date: 04/17/2019
Pages: 442
Product dimensions: 5.98(w) x 9.02(h) x 0.98(d)

Table of Contents

1 - From Tory Scum to UKIP Fascist 11

2 - Year Zero 20

3 - Never, Ever Trust a Defector 26

4 - Infighting. Metaphorical—and Real 33

5 - UKIP: Pied Piper of Conservatives 42

6 - London Calling. Or not. 48

7 - Go Back to Your Constituencies. And Prepare for Government! 53

8 - ‘Get that bastard off!’ 61

9 - The Lure of Brussels 67

10 - Rats in a Sack. Some are cunning, others not so. 74

11 - In, Out, Shake It All About 82

12 - This Thing Just Got Real 90

13 - Three Million Jobs, My Arse 97

14 - Swindled by the Establishment 104

15 - Stop Them! By Any Means Necessary. 113

16 - I Get Knocked Down. Yet I Get Up Again 120

17 - Never, Ever, Ever Trust a Defector 134

18 - Winston Makes a Nuisance of Himself 144

19 - A Bird is Rogered 153

20 - Getting Fit to Fight a General Election 162

21 - Thank You, Suzanne! 170

22 - The Silence of 4 Million Voices 181

23 - Weasels Rip His Flesh 188

24 - It’s a London Thing 193

25 - Flying on Fumes 200

26 - ‘North London Jewish Cunt’ 208

27 - Banging On About Islam 214

28 - Gays, ‘GO’ and Galloway 220

29 - Naughty Suzanne! 228

30 - London Hasn’t Fallen After All 235

31 - The Answer Is—We’re Out 246

32 - Hungry Like the Woolfe 258

33 - I’m the Leader of the Gang, I Am 267

34 - Stoke Up the Boiler 272

35 - The Execution of Douglas Carswell 278

36 - Brenda from Bristol is a Very Wise Lady 292

37 - Clacton Carpet-Bagger 297

38 - The Suicide of Anne Marie Waters 304

39 - It’s SO Unfair! 310

40 - Let’s Go to Work 315

41 - Thwarted. Again. 326

42 - Time to Relax? Er—no 334

43 - Buggins’ Turn 338

44 - Henry Who? Phew 346

45 - Reign of the Badger-Strangler 357

46 - The Assassination of Henry Bolton 365

47 - Oh—Tommy, Tommy! 385

48 - A Good Day to Bury Bad News 392

49 - Stop the Khanage 397

50 - Clowns to the Left of Us 402

51 - Jokers to our Right 409

52 - So Long. Farewell 416

53 - Oh—Gerard, Gerard! 423

54 - The King is Dead 429

55 - Never Mind the Bollocks. Here’s the Brexit Betrayal. 434

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