Not If I See You First

Not If I See You First

by Eric Lindstrom


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In the tradition of Gayle Forman and John Green comes this extraordinary YA debut about a blind teen girl navigating life and love in high school.

Parker Grant doesn't need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That's why she created the Rules: Don't treat her any differently just because she's blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.

When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there's only one way to react--shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that's right, her eyes don't work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn't cried since her dad's death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened--both with Scott, and her dad--the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.

Combining a fiercely engaging voice with true heart, debut author Eric Lindstrom's Not If I See You First illuminates those blind spots that we all have in life, whether visually impaired or not.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780316259873
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Publication date: 11/01/2016
Pages: 336
Sales rank: 469,371
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 7.60(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range: 15 - 18 Years

About the Author

Eric Lindstrom is a BAFTA and WGA-nominated veteran of the interactive entertainment industry. He is the author of A Tragic Kind of Wonderful and Not If I See You First, his debut novel. Eric invites you to find him online at and on Twitter @Eric_Lindstrom.

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Not if I See You First 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 13 reviews.
Aditi-ATWAMB More than 1 year ago
Actual Rating 3.5 Stars I don’t feel like I’ve read many books that feature Disability in KidLit, and none that I can remember that feature a blind protagonist and I really wanted to rectify that. Not If I See You First started off brilliantly. I instantly fell for Parker’s no-nonsense attitude, her strength in spite of her disability and her pure determination. I loved her friends Sarah, Faith and Molly and it was looking to be a REALLY GOOD BOOK. And then, somewhere in the middle, everything good I was feeling about this book just fell away. Let me explain in a more clear fashion. THINGS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER: 1. THE ROMANCE: I didn’t feel it. Best friends for four years and then they dated and then didn’t speak for TWO YEARS and it was all so FLAT where there should’ve been chemistry flying off the page. He watched over her, was always staring at her, he yearned for her all the time and never forgave himself for one simple mistake he made when he was thirteen and it was all a little unbelievable and strange. -- There was also this dialogue about “when the people who love you stare intensely at you all the time it’s okay because they mean well” and it was very creepy. -- Everything about their relationship was based on the past and that he was watching over her because her dad couldn’t and I didn’t like it because they BARELY INTERACTED AT ALL. Anyone who’s even been a teenager knows how you change from the ages of 13 to 16 and to Scott and Parker this didn’t matter at all. 2. LET’S JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS: Even though Parker learns this about herself at the very end of the book, this whole story is about how she jumps to conclusions about everything. She wears her disability like armour seven feet thick and YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE SO DON’T BLOW IT and it was strange. She had these unrealistic expectations of people she just met and well, it felt like a warped world view. People were trying to be nice to her and be her friend but she automatically assumed the worst in EVERYTHING and it was a little frustrating. Despite there being some not so good things, there were a lot of good things about this book: 1. THE FRIENDSHIP: The girls in this book and the friendship they shared was definitely a plus point for me. Molly, Sarah, Faith and Parker were exactly the kind of girl gang I love seeing in Young Adult books. They were strong individual characters who supported and protected each other. I especially loved how they helped Parker through schoolwork and social stuff that she couldn’t notice because of her disability and well, I LOVED THE SCENES WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER. 2. DISABILITY PORTRAYAL: Even though Parker was a jump to conclusions sort of person, I did really like Parker. She was strong and very determined to not let her blindness hold her back. I am a little disappointed that only hearing was portrayed out of the senses that Parker had (and not smell and touch) but I loved the portrayal regardless. I loved how she was determined to run track, to be independent and to not be treated differently because of her lack of eyesight. I wish parts of this book had been better, but this was a book I would have read even if I knew about the things I didn’t like. I honestly wish we had more of Disability, and a loss of a sense organ in particular in books, because it’s very important to see diversity in literature. 3.5 stars.
Morgan_S_M More than 1 year ago
I read this in one sitting and loved it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a good book and auprising
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Can someone please tell me if this is a good book for me so i can read it and can someone please tell me if there is any bad words in this book becauae i go to church and if you went to come to church with me just let me know
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Sounds like a pretty good book.
itsraymarie More than 1 year ago
This was quite an interesting story. I was very intrigued and excited when I saw the description, because we definitely need more disability in YA Lit. That said, I had issues with the story, but in the end, I definitely enjoyed it. Parker is not really a likable character. I will flat-out say that. And it wasn't her disability, but just her personality in general. While I realize that some of that stems from her disability, and her feeling that she can't trust anyone or anything because she can't see them, it got exhausting after a while. But I loved reading her transformation. She does realize it and decide that she doesn't to be that person anymore, and makes a real effort to change, and I loved that. But she also keeps that strong, no-nonsense part of her that really maker her Parker. Parker is dealing with a lot, with her dad's death and changes, and just dealing with life in general. I also loved how fleshed out the other characters were, especially for not being able to see them. I had issues with some of the relationships. Parker and Sarah had a huge fight and it just left me...confused? Parker was being quite ridiculous about it, and I just didn't get it. But they did resolve. Also, the romance was a big ????. I don't want to say too much and spoil it, but I did not understand what was going on there at all. Also, I feel the ending was just unfinished. Not open, just incomplete. It didn't really make sense. But other than the romance issues, everything else in this story was well done. Now, I'm not blind so I can't say how well or how correct her disability was represented. But from the perspective of someone not disabled, it was educational and eye-opening, and I think that part was well done. Despite the few issues, I really did love this book.
Caitie_F More than 1 year ago
This book just made me FEEL so much. It isn't a book about a girl being blind and how it affects her. It is about a girl being a teenager...and she is blind so that adds some challenges. Some people may find this character unlikeable, but I adored her. Be prepared to sob as you read this book though.
mollyreads More than 1 year ago
I went into this book with no expectations and was pleasantly surprised. While there was a plot that left you wanting, the characters and Parker’s inner-struggles are what made this story great. It’s insightful and has a lot of meaningful moral lessons you can learn. It’s a story about growing up, learning to let go and learning to listen. If you’re looking for a unique perspective, a not-so-typical female protagonist, and a story less about love and more about friendship, this book is for you.
Archaeolibrarian More than 1 year ago
This is a young adult book with clout! Told in a contemporary setting, our female lead isn't very likeable, although she does have some redeeming features. With a good set of friends around her, she sets out on a normal school year, trying to cope with her blindness and a new influx of students. Unfortunately for her, one of those students is her old best friend, who also broke her heart when she was thirteen. Now Parker can hold a grudge, and hold it well. However, she also has to grow up herself, as she deals with situations beyond her current comprehension and also has that painful lesson to learn that she is not the most important person of all, even is she is blind, and the world does not revolve around her. With a smidge of romance thrown in for good measure, this is a well-told story about a girl maturing into herself, and the strength of friendships. There is a bit of braille at the end which, according to Virginia on Goodreads, are simply two more rules: Rule #11: Don't worry that I won't give you any second chances. I will. I might even need some from you. Rule #12: Don't jump to conclusions. You and me both, but mostly me. * I received this book from NetGalley in return for a fair and honest review. * Merissa Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
ReedsReadsReviews More than 1 year ago
This book is the epitome of all the right feels in all the right places. Honestly, Not If I See You First is an absolutely amazing read that will both rock your socks off and gut punch you all at the same time. In this unforgettable debut, Eric Lindstrom has crafted something that has tethered itself deep into my veins - the very roots of everything I am. I don't know how to describe what this book did to me. At first I thought it was just meh, but as soon as I started to think about it I realized just how much I was connecting to each and every tiny detail this book had to offer. Not If I See You First is a story of navigating heartbreak and redemption. It is a story of love, friendship, loss, and inner turmoil. It was breathtaking. I think I fell in love with Parker, our protagonist, from the very fist page - and by the end of the prologue I was complexly hooked and unable to put it down. I read through more than half of the book on Saturday alone and I finished it early Sunday morning. Guys... I read through the book basically for the duration of Reed Family Christmas - that once a year event that makes my heart hurt and my head go pitter patter - wait, did I put that in the right order? Who cares, you get the picture. I think I sat with my nose in this book for the entire night save for the gift exchange and when I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer - I thought my Nana was going to take the book from me and make me socialize (the horror). Not If I See You First shares an amazing message about the path of healing: the first step towards healing begins with yourself. Nothing about this book is contrived, each and every tiny little aspect on the pages are balanced and illustrated in such a way as to bring about the closest form of perfection possible. This book is satisfying in all the ways a good book should be. If there is one thing to add to your last minute Christmas wish list, this is definitely it.
Madison-s_Library More than 1 year ago
I loved this book. Loved. Loved. Loved. I think I'm crying (overwhelming, happy tears). You need to read this book. It is hilariously funny, and yet so very moving. Argh, I don't have words. Just read it. Parker is the most wonderful character I've read in a while. She is the perfect mix of snark and humour. She's smart and super funny. But what I loved most about her was her ability to let things slide off her. Oh she cares, especially about her friends and family, but there is certainly something to learn from her ability to not care so much about what others think when they look at her. This book is written in first person from Parker's perspective. The text has a lot of dialog, as well as Parker's internal thoughts and her descriptions of the conversations and events (as a first-person narration style usually would). What is different is that these descriptions include sounds and smells, but never sights. It works brilliantly. It is amazing how much this affects how you view the story and the characters. I loved every word. The story provides a great insight into Parker's world, as well as her head and heart. And then of course there are all those things that you never even think of, like not judging people because of their looks or colour or size because you can't actually see them. And because Parker can't see them, the reader can't either. It is amazing how this changes how you 'see' a character and the assumptions you might automatically make. Very cool. The sheer joy of this book sits over the darker cloud that lies beneath the surface - the recent death of Parker's dad and the death of her mother in an accident that also destroyed her sight years before. All that trauma is sitting there just under the surface. At first I thought maybe it was weird to seemingly brush over these issues, but then I realised that this is exactly what Parker was doing as her way of coping. As the story progresses you learn more about what happened. I thought it was the perfect balance between light and dark, reflective and hopeful. Now, the romance. It's a large topic of discussion in this book, but it's never really the focus. At the heart of this book is love. Not swoony, insta-love kind of love, but real, honest to goodness love. Friendship, family. The people who are there for you that have loved you every single day. And then how much it hurts to lose that, whether that's through death or change or something else. I loved Scott. And the best thing about that? He wasn't even in the book all that much. What you do get is understandably loveable, but it was more about how Parker feels towards him, and how she learns to closer inspect her feelings and then how to act on them. This is Parker's book and she shines. I loved the ending. Oh, that moment a few chapters from the end - my heart was just soaring. You could probe this book for ever. I could talk about all the wonderful messages, the brilliant writing style that epitomises how a book should show and not tell, or wax poetic about Parker and her strength and resilience. Or I could just say that this is a book that was enjoyable from beginning to end, and all sorts of inspiring in between. The publishers provided a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I dont see why no one has even read this yet. Not only is it free but the summary makes sound really good.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love this book cause it shows that blind peopl can love and be loved even if they dont get the guy