Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating

Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating

by Marshall Segal

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Overview

This book will help single people make the most of their not-yet-married life, seeing it as a unique period of unmatched devotion to Christ and ministry to others, even whilewaiting for a spouse.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781433555459
Publisher: Crossway
Publication date: 06/30/2017
Pages: 208
Sales rank: 97,654
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.54(d)

About the Author

Marshall Segal(MDiv, Bethlehem College & Seminary) serves as the executive assistant to John Piper and is a popular contributor to desiringGod.org.

Table of Contents

Introduction 11

Part 1 The Not-Yet-Married Life

1 Love Is Looking for Yon 23

2 Single, Satisfied, and Sent 33

3 Undivided and Undistracted 44

4 Love the Life You Never Wanted 54

5 Knowing Everyone but Never Known 66

6 100,000 Hours 75

7 Procrastination in Pursuing Him 85

8 The Secret Most Important Step 94

Part 2 When the Not Yet Married Meet

9 Date for More Than Marriage 105

10 The Best Book on Dating 116

11 Your Last First Date 126

12 Is He the One? 137

13 Sexual Freedom and Purity 148

14 Acts of War in Love 159

15 The Third Wheel We All Need 170

16 It's Not You-It's God 181

Conclusion: My Dreams for Your Marriage 191

Notes 197

A Word of Thanks 198

General Index 200

Scripture Index 204

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“I have been married for forty-eight years. But even now, a half-century later, the days of falling in love and ‘going with’ Noël are still vivid in my memory. They are in a class by themselves. Marriage knows its unfettered ecstasies, but those years leading to marriage were supercharged with never-before and never-since emotions. We need God’s wisdom. And we need his supernatural help to live it out. Marshall Segal is a trustworthy guide. He is conscious of the world but conformed to the Word. God did not leave us without wisdom or power for this volatile season of life. Marshall will point you to both.”
John Piper, Founder and Teacher, desiringGod.org; Chancellor, Bethlehem College & Seminary; author, Desiring God

“Singleness is not a punishment, and marriage is not a right. Yet more and more, I encounter young women who are single longer than they planned to be, and they wonder how they missed the dreamboat. What’s more, they wonder why God hasn’t answered their prayers for marriage. That’s why I’m thrilled to get my hands on Not Yet Married. This is a book not just about waiting well or about preparing for marriage. It is a book about God, grounded in God’s Word. Married, engaged, or a long way away from the altar, this book paints a beautiful, biblical picture of marriage and the God who designed it.”
Erin L. Davis, blogger; Bible teacher; author, Beyond Bath Time;True Princess;and Beautiful Encounters

“This is a book about God and his glory before it is a field guide for the not yet married. That will be its sticking power. Segal has done a great job of connecting gospel truth to how we think about ourselves and our love lives, which is desperately needed in a culture that wants to keep God sequestered to the sanctuary. It's weighty but accessible, taking on serious topics in a way that reads like a chat over coffee. I know the title is Not Yet Married, but after eleven years of marriage I found myself challenged and encouraged on every page. I am really grateful for Marshall and his honest, theologically sturdy counsel. This book is a must-share.”
Jimmy Needham, recording artist; Worship Director, Stonegate Church, Midlothian, Texas

“Marshall’s writing never fails to be richly insightful, thought provoking, and heart probing. He is also refreshingly transparent as he shares out of what he has experienced—sometimes the hard way—of God’s Word and ways. As Marshall chronicled his journey through years of singleness, I was delighted to see God bring Faye into his life ‘in due season.’ Now I rejoice that he has written this book, which will be a feast to men and women in any season of life, as they press through every unfulfilled longing this side of heaven, to pursue joy in Christ.”
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author, Adorned; Teacher and Host, Revive Our Hearts

“Timely. Relevant. Solid. In a cultural climate where singleness is equally celebrated and stigmatized, and dating is misunderstood and mispurposed, Marshall Segal injects a breath of biblical fresh air. With Scripture as its undergirding, Not Yet Married is a helpful guide to honoring God in any relational status. Married or not, single or dating, I hope you’ll read this book.”
Louie Giglio, Pastor, Passion City Church, Atlanta; Founder, Passion Conferences; author, The Comeback

“In a culture that constantly communicates false—even destructive—messages about dating, Not Yet Married is the Christian response we need. Marshall is deeply biblical and writes with the empathy, humility, and wisdom of a brother who has walked this road, made mistakes, and found grace. Now he shares his experience and gospel-rich insights with us. Teenagers especially will benefit from Marshall’s words. For that reason, this book will be one I joyfully recommend far and wide.”
Jaquelle Crowe,author, This Changes Everything: How the Gospel Transforms the Teen Years

“For years, I’ve longed for a book I could recommend without hesitation to single men and women. My wait is over. Marshall Segal’s Not Yet Married is everything I hoped for and more. His foundations are thoroughly scriptural, his applications are rooted in the good news of the gospel, and he provides some of the clearest counsel for navigating the unmarried years I’ve ever seen. He humbly acknowledges his own failures and addresses past sins with sensitive pastoral skill. If you’re single, this book will increase your faith in God’s good plans for you and inspire you to passionately pursue a Christ-exalting life. I can’t wait to recommend and give this book away.”
Bob Kauflin, Director, Sovereign Grace Music

“Instead of settling for our culture’s cheap version of love, sex, and dating, Not Yet Married challenges and inspires Christian singles to live their lives with greater intentionality. This down-to-earth book is a must-read for every guy and girl who desires to glorify God to the fullest while they’re not yet married.”
Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird, Founders, Girl Defined Ministries; authors, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity

At the risk of sounding clichéd, where was this book when I was younger? Singles in the church can often feel like second-class citizens in God’s kingdom, so it’s refreshing to have a book that realigns our thinking, scripturally speaking. Marshall Segal has provided a great service to Christians seeking to honor God in their singleness. This book would be a helpful resource for high school seniors headed to college, students in college, and those in singleness well beyond college. This is a book for those who are not even single. It would give couples a better perspective on loving those in singleness and giving counsel to those who are not yet married.
John Perritt,Resource Coordinator; rymonline.org; author, Your Days Are Numbered and What Would Judas Do?

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Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
bjdoureaux More than 1 year ago
The world has a lot to say about dating and relationships. It has a lot to say about people who are single and whether or not marriage is even necessary in the times we live in. But what does the single life, and dating, look like for a Christian? As a single woman in my 30's, I was hesitant to read this one, but decided to give it a shot. Most Christian books I've read regarding singleness, especially those written by married people, gear the message so heavily toward marriage and having children that they left me feeling lonely, and burdened by my singleness. That is not the case with this one. Segal spends the first part of the book speaking of singleness. He tackles that loneliness mentioned above in an honest and upfront way. We crave affection and want to be known. Marriage and relationships can give us that, so we tend to long for them, but as Christians the best and most intimate relationship we can have is with Jesus. Segal takes the time to explain that sometimes our singleness is God-given, for a purpose. There may be things God wants us to do for Him that are better suited for someone who doesn't yet have a spouse or children to take care of. The rest of the book is centered around dating with the intention of marriage. What does that mean for a Christian? How do we date in a way that looks different from the world? It's not just setting physical boundaries (though that is important), but it's about keeping Jesus first in the relationship. The Bible says we should love God first and foremost. That means even above our spouse. What I love most about this book is that Segal is careful to gear the message equally toward men and woman. While much of what he presents is generic, he reminds us that men and women have different roles and needs in a relationship, both spiritually and emotionally. He also guides the single toward a healthy, God-centered marriage without alienating the single who aren't actively seeking marriage, even us "older" singles. In fact, he includes them. If you're single, whether you want to be or not, I highly recommend this book to put your singleness in the right perspective. I received an electronic copy of this book from Crossway in exchange for an honest review.