Paradise by the Dashboard Light

"How do you want your eggs?"
"Fertilized."

I don't like to think about my past. Absent father, train wreck mother, and then there's my twin sister who belongs on an episode of Jerry Springer. They're the poster children for complicated, and I want nothing to do with that kind of life. That's why I left Ohio and started over in Boston, never looking back.

Because running away and living in denial is totally an acceptable way of adulting.

That way I don't have to admit that very bad thing I did t...