This is a story of hope. Expressing your feelings shouldn't make life dangerous. Knowing yourself and how you feel is not delusional, stupid, or foolish. Your feelings are not your fault. Have you ever felt wrong and lonely, lacking love and kindness in your life? Have you ever fought your way out of a bad situation, only to find yourself in another?
This story is for you.
In this emotionally vulnerable book, Marci Brockmann reveals how growing up under the strain of mental abuse was mirrored in her subsequent personal relationships. She didn't know anything different. After repeated mistakes and huge anguish over her mother's opiate addiction and mental illness, she learned to embrace her own power and took control of her life. She learned that by living her truth, she would always be free!
With empathy and transparency, Marci tells a story that is at once typical and burdened by toxicity. She discovered her resilience and who she is through soul searching, therapy, and creative expression to prove how amazing life and love can truly be when you give yourself PERMISSION TO LAND.
Join her on this lifetime adventure.
The title came from a metaphor Marci used to describe how she felt when she was at her most emotionally and spiritually lost. She felt like an airplane endlessly circling an airport waiting for permission to land.
What she learned through my journey is that she didn't need anyone's permission to land or create a life or love, home and belonging. Much like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, she had the power to create that for herself all along.
It was up to her, just as it is up to each of us.
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Table of Contents
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. Grief, Loss, and What Never Would Be
2. A Psychic's Vision
3. To the Moon and Back (50 Million Times)
4. Ignorance is Bliss
5. Parenting Myself
6. Some Dads are Daddies
7. Don't Let Anything Get in Your Way
8. Family Torn Apart
9. Refusing to Be Shy
10. Crushed in Eleventh-Grade
11. A Very Close Call
12, The Big Secret
13. Senior Prom Disaster
14. College Freedom and the Liberty to Explore
15. A New Beginning
15. Caught in the Act
17. Ping Pong Ball
18. Building a Life
19. Pamela and Sam
20. Be Yourself; Find What Makes You Happy
21. Facing Death
22. Lakehouse Proposal
23. Finding Myself in My Classroom
24. Doubts and Silence
25. Lifelong Friends
26. Mommyhood-Ethan Arrives
27. Mommyhood-Simone's First Appearance
28. Can You Save a Marriage with Real Estate?
29. The Mother Lion
30. For the First Time
31. Hunting for a House and Myself
32. Let's Go to Disney
33. Finding Myself Through the End of a Paintbrush
35. Making the Comedienne Laugh
36. Dating the U.N.
37. The Four-by-Four to My Head
38. Choosing My Person Wisely39. Off to LaLaLand
40. Your Mom is a Teacher?
41. Friends Show Us Who We Are
42. Sunrise, Sunset; Traditions Through the Years
43. Toxic Connections and Searching for Home
44. Finally, A Safe Place to Land
Epilogue-Taking the Long View
Journal with Me