Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce

by JoAnne Pedro-Carroll

Overview

The breakup of a family can be challenging for children and have an enduring impact on their emotional health. But as Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can dramatically change these effects-and positively shape their child's future. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children's resilience and their ability to lead successful, satisfying lives.

A leading psychologist and expert with more than three decades of experience, Dr. Pedro-Carroll has helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath. Backed by the latest research, she shares practical advice that helps parents:

Decode the hidden emotions behind the words and behaviors children use-and soothe their secret fears

Create parenting strategies that balance boundless love with clear limits and strengthen relationships with children

Reduce conflict, promote their own well-being, and protect children from the toxic effects of ongoing hostility

Develop flexible, responsive, and cooperative parenting plans that put the needs of children first

Successfully navigate transitions in remarried families

Filled with the honest and insightful voices and drawings of children, as well as inspiring stories of families, Putting Children First delivers a positive message full of hope and healing.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781583334010
Publisher:	Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:	05/04/2010
Pages:	352
Sales rank:	344,804
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.10(d)
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

JoAnne Pedro-Carroll, is a clinical psychologist, researcher, consultant, and therapist. For twenty-five years, she was a senior researcher at the University of Rochester’s Children’s Institute and a member of the psychology and clinical psychiatry faculties. Dr. Pedro-Carroll founded and directed the Children of Divorce Intervention Program, and her work has earned numerous awards. Dr. Pedro-Carroll is an adviser to the Sesame Street Resilience Project’s Little Children, Big Challenges: Divorce and Separation. She has been married for thirty years, and is the mother of seven children and stepchildren.

Table of Contents

To Begin ... 1

1 "My Divorce": What Children Say and What They Mean 13

2 Risk and Resilience: The Potential Impact of Divorce over Time 47

3 Telling the Children and Preparing Them for Changes 73

4 Parenting Plans: Positive Approaches to Difficult Decisions 119

5 Taking Control of Conflict and Taking Care of Yourself 169

6 Building Children's Resilience Skills 211

7 Emotionally Intelligent Parenting Before, During, and After Divorce 248

8 New Relationships, Dating, and Remarriage: How the Children See Them 278

9 Life After Divorce: Real Possibilities for Succes 304

Notes 319

Index 333

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"I am proud to recommend Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll's new book, Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce. It is very readable, but incorporates a vast amount of research as well as the author's own extensive clinical experience. Today, when so many children suffer the problems created by their parent's divorce, parents and the professionals who work with them during the transitions relating to divorce will find this book a great guide to helping their children cope more successfully."
-Robert J. Haggerty, M.D. former president of The W. T. Grant Foundation and The American Academy of Pediatrics

"Putting Children First provides an abundance of useful information for parents who are divorced, thinking about divorce, or in the process of divorcing. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll is a highly respected psychologist, researcher, and developer of programs for children. She draws on scientific research as well as her own clinical experience to provide clear guidelines for parents based on the best available evidence about what works. I strongly recommend this book to parents as well as mental health and legal professionals who work with children from divorced families."
-Paul R. Amato, Arnold and Bette Hoffman Professor of Family Sociology and Demography, Pennsylvania State University

"This book provides tremendously valuable insight and information about a child's thoughts and feelings and practical advice to parents, counselors and therapists dealing with the trauma accompanying divorce proceedings. Dr. Pedro- Carroll describes the fears and concerns of children and clearly articulates a sensitive way for parents to approach these issues so that families can move forward with their lives in a healthy way."
-Judge Sondra Miller, Director, NYS Unified Court System Office of Matrimonial and Family Law, and former Justice, Appellate Division of the NYS Supreme Court.

"By listening to children and combining a quarter-century of experience with the results of extensive research, Dr. Pedro-Carroll shares invaluable insights into the thoughts and feelings of children who experience what they often call "my divorce."...The guidance offered by this book is unique because it is based on an exceptional knowledge of what goes on in the minds of children and because of the blended sensitivity and pragmatism of the author."
-Lawrence F. Nazarian, MD, Clinical Professor of Pediatrics, University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry

"I have known JoAnne Pedro-Carroll personally and professionally for over 20 years. She clearly is one of the country's top divorce experts. She stands alone in her combination of ground breaking research, keen clinical insights, and unmatched sensitivity to children's struggles through divorce. Her reputation alone will garner great interest in the book. Her knowledge and emotional understanding will surely keep this book on the shelves of divorced parents, therapists, lawyers, and bookstores for years to come."
-Robert E. Emery, Professor of Psychology

Editorial Reviews

"I am proud to recommend Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll's new book, Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce. It is very readable, but incorporates a vast amount of research as well as the author's own extensive clinical experience. Today, when so many children suffer the problems created by their parent's divorce, parents and the professionals who work with them during the transitions relating to divorce will find this book a great guide to helping their children cope more successfully."
-Robert J. Haggerty, M.D. former president of The W. T. Grant Foundation and The American Academy of Pediatrics

"Putting Children First provides an abundance of useful information for parents who are divorced, thinking about divorce, or in the process of divorcing. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll is a highly respected psychologist, researcher, and developer of programs for children. She draws on scientific research as well as her own clinical experience to provide clear guidelines for parents based on the best available evidence about what works. I strongly recommend this book to parents as well as mental health and legal professionals who work with children from divorced families."
-Paul R. Amato, Arnold and Bette Hoffman Professor of Family Sociology and Demography, Pennsylvania State University

"This book provides tremendously valuable insight and information about a child's thoughts and feelings and practical advice to parents, counselors and therapists dealing with the trauma accompanying divorce proceedings. Dr. Pedro- Carroll describes the fears and concerns of children and clearly articulates a sensitive way for parents to approach these issues so that families can move forward with their lives in a healthy way."
-Judge Sondra Miller, Director, NYS Unified Court System Office of Matrimonial and Family Law, and former Justice, Appellate Division of the NYS Supreme Court.

"By listening to children and combining a quarter-century of experience with the results of extensive research, Dr. Pedro-Carroll shares invaluable insights into the thoughts and feelings of children who experience what they often call "my divorce."...The guidance offered by this book is unique because it is based on an exceptional knowledge of what goes on in the minds of children and because of the blended sensitivity and pragmatism of the author."
-Lawrence F. Nazarian, MD, Clinical Professor of Pediatrics, University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry

"I have known JoAnne Pedro-Carroll personally and professionally for over 20 years. She clearly is one of the country's top divorce experts. She stands alone in her combination of ground breaking research, keen clinical insights, and unmatched sensitivity to children's struggles through divorce. Her reputation alone will garner great interest in the book. Her knowledge and emotional understanding will surely keep this book on the shelves of divorced parents, therapists, lawyers, and bookstores for years to come."
-Robert E. Emery, Professor of Psychology

From the Publisher