Gentlemen, does any of this sound familiar?• You meet a great guy, go out on a great date—and then never hear from him again. • You go out to a hot bar or nightclub, but you can’t make a meaningful connection. • You do your best, but sometimes feel like you’re invisible to other gay men. • You are afraid that you’ve let a failed relationship eat away at your self-esteem.
If so, you’re not alone. These are all valid concerns that most of us have encountered at some point in our dating lives. Meeting Mr. Right isn’t any easier now than it was ten years ago, despite the proliferation of social media, cell phones, and dating sites.
In this guide, Selrach Smith, a fellow veteran of the dating wars, shares his best advice, perspective, and support. He discusses everything you need to know to take optimistic and productive control of your dating life, no matter how or where you meet people. You’ll learn some powerful tips and simple life lessons to take the confusion out of meeting new people and making a great first impression.
With these tools, you can learn how to avoid a world of headache and heartache. If you’re looking for a way to take back some of the power, read on. You’re not alone—and you don’t need to be alone. The power is in your hands now.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
My review of R U Looking? A Guide to Navigating Gay Dating, written by Selrach Smith. Selrach Smith does an excellent job creating a step by step guide to dating in the gay community. The book is filled with rich examples from Smith’s personal experiences as well as an account of his friends’ adventures. R U Looking? is a refreshing take on the dating scene in New York City with many advice and concepts that can be applied to any city, suburb or small town. The author is gay, but after reading this book, I feel anyone can relate to the many stories that are illustrated. It’s always nice to read a book that is well rounded and can reach all types of people from all walks of life. Smith is extremely informative on the topic of dating, but knows how to insert humor to keep the reader hooked. This book can be labeled under the genre of gay relationships/memoir, but humor and comedy is meshed exquisitely throughout its contents. I really appreciated the use of pop culture that was trickled perfectly in the right places. Some of the statements spoke directly to me. For instance the few references of the Kardashians, I personally still don’t know what the huge deal is with them. Making reference to The Nanny’s character and how her appearance “screamed I’m available!”, was one of my favorite quotes. Smith also does an elegant job of being able to switch the humor off and cover more serious issues as well. He was brave to tackle the online dating issues, but at the same time illustrating how useful of a tool it could be if utilized correctly. The seriousness of HIV/AIDs was covered and the promotion of safe sex was appropriately emphasized. One of the discussions that were interesting and informative was the masculinity issues among gay men. Smith had mentioned there is a need for gay men to appear “masculine” on their online profiles or even sounding masculine while talking in public. And when you finally meet this person they could be or most likely are the opposite. I never knew that this was an issue and it is extremely interesting to read why. Another interesting discussion was the whole role issue. There is a need to identify that in the beginning of a possible relationship to discover compatibility. Smith knows his stuff and wants to cut out any unnecessary time. There were times during the book I felt self-help was in play. Smith took the time and care to reach the reader by giving advice on attitude, finding your passions in life, adjusting professions to match your goals, self- confidence and searching for what you want in life. Even if I was not looking for advice on specifically dating, there is an education on the sense of self that was given as a gift from this book. The author has obviously poured his soul into this book with very few filters. If I had to state one criticism, maybe he could have used some filters for a couple of choice words. But that could also illustrate how honest and colorful of a writer Smith is. I am very happy I came across this book and would recommend it to anyone who is either getting into the dating scene, or just want to receive some common sense advice on life. Michelle Hunter