Life as a pastor's wife offers meaningful opportunities to play a significant part in God's work, to witness and participate in the beauty of changed lives. Yet it also carries the potential for deep wounds and great conflict that can drain the joy out of service. Is it worth it? Oh, yes, says Kay Warren, wife of Pastor Rick Warren and cofounder of Saddleback Church. It is more than worth the riskit's a sacred privilege.
Drawing on more than forty years in ministry in every possible size church, Kay provides encouraging principles and life lessons, along with intimate personal stories, that will give readers the confidence needed to lead and live well. Pastor's wives learn to
- accept who they are
- adapt to change
- help their children survive and thrive
- protect their private lives
- deal with criticism
- live with integrity
- develop an eternal perspective
Whether she is excited, struggling, or feeling broken and tired, every pastor's wife will find hope and encouragement for their calling in Kay's warm and wise words.
|Publisher:||Baker Publishing Group|
|Product dimensions:||5.60(w) x 8.60(h) x 1.00(d)|
About the Author
Kay Warren cofounded Saddleback Church with her husband, Rick Warren, in Lake Forest, California. She is a passionate Bible teacher and respected advocate for those living with mental illness, HIV, and for orphaned and vulnerable children. She founded Saddleback's HIV&AIDS Initiative. Kay is the author of Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn't Enough and Say Yes to God and coauthor of Foundations, the popular systematic theology course used by churches worldwide. Her children are Amy and Josh, and Matthew who is in heaven, and she has five grandchildren, Kaylie, Cassidy, Caleb, Cole and Claire. Learn more at www.kaywarren.com and follow her on Facebook (Kay Warren) and on Twitter (@KayWarren1).
Table of Contents
A Personal Tribute from Rick Warren 9
1 The Story of a Church Girl 17
2 Sharing the Dream 33
3 Accepting Who You Are 57
4 Adapting to Change 75
5 Helping Your Children Survive and Thrive 95
6 Sharing Your Life 119
7 Taking Care of Yourself 139
8 Valuing Seasons and Moments 157
9 Protecting Your Private Life 179
10 Dealing with Criticism 199
11 Adopting an Eternal Perspective 219
12 Finishing Well 237
Recommended Resources 257
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Sacred Privilege, by Kay Warren, is written mainly for pastor's wives. It gives encouragement, and tips for other wives in ministry. She goes into detail explaining how as a pastor's wife, you will lose your privacy, you will be criticized, there will be complaints and conflicts. With these she tells the reader to leave it to God. She explains not to get caught up in trying to please every body. The author explains that you will not be in ministry very long before you realize you have said yes to God in a way that will challenge every part of you. The author explains you need to accept who you are and know that be open to change. She also explains that you need to take care of yourself and your needs. And if there are children involved in the family, you need to help them . Ministry couples raising children have the normal stress of raising children. But they also have the additional stress of know everyone in their congregation will be watching them as they raise their children as well as what their children do. I found this to be a very interesting book to read. I am not a minister's wife, nor am I a minister's daughter. I do, however, have family members in the ministry field and this book helped me to see the stress and sacrifices that minister wives deal with. I appreciate how the author uses her life experiences to help other wives. I think this book should be recommended reading for spouses of those in training for ministry as well as for family and close friends. I received this book from Revell Publishing. I have written an honest review.
I have been a ministry wife for the past 28 years. There have been some very hard days in that time. As I began reading this book I knew, immediately, that Kay Warren understood my life, joys, frustrations, struggles and all. She is open and honest about her life and ministry with her husband throughout this book. She shares her ups and downs and, with great wisdom, she gives us great advice straight from God's word and from the depths of all He has taught her over the last 40+ years. This book is about seeking God above all else. She encourages us to keep our focus on the Savior who died for us and not on the world and it's hardness at times. She assures us there will be struggles but God's plan is the greatest thing we can follow. We have an enemy that does not want us to succeed in reaching a lost world. Kay is so encouraging to ministry wives both young and old and shares truths from God's word to build up our faith to keep going. If someone has compiled a list of books all young pastors wives should read this should certainly be at the top of the list. I believe that Kay's shared ministry experiences have great value for those who are coming behind her in this world of ministry. It is not an easy life and she does not give us any fairy tale illusion that it is. We have an important call, ladies. We are to bring glory to God in all we do. Everything about this book points straight to that message and I believe this book brings glory to Him, too. Thank you Kay for this beautiful book of hope in a very difficult call! This book was sent to me free of charge by Baker Publishing Group - Revell Division. All they have asked in exchange is that I would read it and give an honest review. I am thrilled to recommend this to ministry wives everywhere! I give it a 5 out of 5 rating.
We were greeted with warm handshakes and pleasantries, an outline of the morning service, and then a startling announcement: “We assumed that your wife would want to take the children.” In the early days of our marriage when my husband was the area director of a children’s ministry, I used to travel with him to his weekend engagements. However, in those days, I had a full-time job, no children yet, and no — I did not carry a Bible lesson around in my back pocket. (Given the same situation today? I’d probably go for it! Why not?) Ministry wives are often subject to assumptions and misconceptions, and it is with this audience in mind that Kay Warren has written Sacred Privilege. However, her words are relevant to all women in ministry, with or without husbands. She writes from the perspective of a life-long “church girl,” the daughter of a pastor, wife to Rick Warren of Saddleback Church and Purpose Driven Life fame, and also as the mother to a pastor’s wife. The book is a distillation of wisdom gained from an entire life lived in the fish bowl of ministry — not from the viewpoint of “perfect wife,” but as messenger and strong survivor, as one who has taken strength from God for a very specific calling and now wants to pass that encouragement on to others who share that call. If you are a woman in ministry, here’s what God wants you to know: 1. “You need to embrace your own story — all of it — for the glory of God and the good of His kingdom.” (31) Kay’s story includes a brush with a porn addition and a rocky start to her marriage. It includes a struggle with depression and the mental illness and ultimate suicide of her son. She assesses this terrain and concludes that the life she has lived is the exact price required for becoming who she is today. 2. “There is no greater heritage than for children to see that ministry is not just for dads but also for moms and brothers and sisters.” (50) Sharing a ministry focus as a couple and also as a family protects everyone from resentment and eases the claustrophobia of the glass house that can plague ministry families. Kay defines “thriving” over the long haul as the ability to share a God-given dream and points to Ephesians 2:10 to affirm that God is the architect of that dream. 3. “Success in ministry is not about numerical results or recognition but about thriving, flourishing, and growing strong in one’s calling and in one’s character.” (58) This does not mean that women in ministry will meet everyone’s expectations. On the flip side, it also does not mean that we will always be free to do the thing we love the most. When it comes to defining success in ministry, the most important voice in the room is God’s. 4. “You have a story that is worth telling.” (125) Sharing God’s redemption process in your life is risky because your weaknesses come out of hiding. However, in the process, others are drawn into the Light, and true friendships can be formed that will endure for the long haul. Life in community — knowing others and being known — is so much safer and more comfortable than life on a pedestal. 5. “No one will take care of you but you.” (139) That sounds cynical, doesn’t it? And it’s not to say that God, your husband, and/or your loving church family are all out to exploit you and suck you dry, but there are some aspects of self-care that are completely in your court: Finish reading at Living Our Days . . .
Sacred Privilege: Your Life and Ministry as a Pastor's Wife speaks the freedom to lead your family your way. To learn how to come alongside your husband as you begin to share the dream of a pastoring at a church. And to help care for yourself and your family while still living the dream. I'm glad I'm reading this book while Eric is in seminary. In fact, it's something I think anyone involved in ministry would benefit from. Warren reminds us how to build our friendship boundaries. How to keep perspective when others think you are parenting incorrectly. (side note: I totally don't believe there is a perfect way to parent. We all get something wrong somewhere along the way!) How to build those boundaries, share what is pertinent without doing damage to yourself, your family and immediate relationships. Whether I always keep it in mind or remember it, I have been given a sacred privilege. Whether or not Eric ever becomes a pastor, I know I will be a better wife because of reading this book. It's helped me to consider how I approach things through the blog as a whole. I received a copy of this book from Revell books. This review is my own, honest opinion.