Stranded with the Kraken: A Monstrous Holiday Tale

“The thought of you dating another man makes me want to punch through a wall. You're magnetic.”

I signed up for the new Bone-R app for monster dating thinking I'd get a fun one-night-stand out of the deal.

Instead, I'm now stranded at the hot kraken's house at Christmas because of a massive snow storm, and what started as a very hot hookup (who knew tentacles were so...flexible?!) now feels like so much more.

But surely it's too early to be talking about serious things like family and forever,...