Suburbia Made Me Do It

My name is Roxy Davenport--the epitome of a suburban housewife. For over twenty-five years, I have based my entire life off the ancient, mental code of ethics passed down from previous generations I secretly nicknamed The Suburbia Handbook.

High school sweethearts must marry and the wife is to stay at home and raise the children while the husband brings home the bacon. All married couples must procreate and raise, at a minimum, 2.5 children, preferably staggered in ages by three years. A wom...