The Alzhammer: Or Keep Your Friends Close and . . . I Forget the Other Thing

by Joseph Di Prisco

Overview

Mikey is history. He’s got what he calls the Alzhammer. A once-powerful mob boss, he is seriously slipping—losing control of his crew and of his mind. His business is sideways, his rivals are coming for him, he’s crazy forgetful, and it is a fact his parents suffered miserably with Alzheimer's. He refuses to ride diapered and drooling into the sunset. He is going to whack himself. Problem is, others are trying to whack him and rip off what’s left of the family’s business, which is different and which pisses him off—when he remembers.

Meanwhile, his ex, Zayana, slips back into his life. She’s been on the lam. Long ago, she hooked up with a rich, ruthless, and very married Senator who's concerned she might go public during election season, and he’s prepared to do whatever it takes to eliminate her and save his image. Mikey decides to do the right thing for a change. They will hole up in the perfect hideaway—a shady, unlicensed nursing home near Vegas—until after the vote. Mikey's feelings for Z resurface, but even so, he figures once she and her son, who might be his, are safe, he will finally kill himself in peace. Until then, he must confront his would-be killers, the Senator, and the lunatic who cracks the whip at the three-ring-circus home called Over the Rainbow.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781942600640
Publisher:	Rare Bird Books, A Vireo Book
Publication date:	02/22/2016
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	316
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

Joseph Di Prisco was born in Brooklyn and lives today in Berkeley, CA, with his wife, photographer Patti James.

Editorial Reviews

01/04/2016
In this quirky noir from Di Prisco (All for Now), San Francisco gang lord Vincent Festagiacamo is dying of Alzheimer’s disease. His son, Mikey, now the acting gang chieftain, detects early symptoms of what he calls “the Alzhammer” in himself; he’s determined to cheat the disease by ending his own life. Meanwhile, a rival gang headed by the mysterious Mr. Smith threatens to take over the Festagiacamos’ territory. Mikey’s sense of honor demands that he settle with Mr. Smith before leaving the planet. Eventually, Mikey and his ex, Zayana, wind up hiding out in a retirement home, surrounded by real Alzheimer’s patients. The book’s comic aspects, most notably the malapropisms of Mikey’s crew, jar with the wrenching portrayals of advanced Alzheimer’s patients. Some readers will be amused. Others may feel uncomfortable or even offended. Agent: Elizabeth Trupin-Pulli, JET Literary Associates. (Mar.)

Publishers Weekly

“Part Mafia thriller, part comic farce, part lament about the anguish of de-
mentia and all hyperkinetic...Fast-paced and often charming." —Kirkus Reviews

“DiPrisco writes with humor and a great sense of character, poking fun at things that would leave a lesser author cringing. Think Cuckoo’s Nest meets The Godfather. He interweaves all these elements with the skill of a master writer.” —Anne Hillerman, New York Times bestselling author of Spider Woman's Daughter and Rock with Wings

"Great funny lines on every page. Am I recommending The Alzhammer? As the protagonist Mikey might say, ‘Eggs ackly.’" —Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts

"Di Prisco delivers a brilliant portrayal of a wise guy who faces his biggest arch enemies....time and Alzheimer's. The last tango of power, fear, loyalty, and love is beautifully danced for us right to the very end." —Vickie Sciacca, Manager, Lafayette, California, Library

“Great funny lines—and some great sad ones too. As the character Dolly might say, 'It’s butter-sweet.’” —Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts

"The book’s comic aspects, most notably the malapropisms of Mikey’s crew, jar with the wrenching portrayals of advanced Alzheimer’s patients. Some readers will be amused. Others may feel uncomfortable or even offended." —Publishers Weekly

From the Publisher

2016-01-10
Di Prisco's latest is part Mafia thriller, part comic farce, part lament about the anguish of dementia—and all hyperkinetic. Mikey Festagiacamo is a second-generation mob boss who should, at 57, be in his prime. But as the novel opens, he's suffering ever more frequent memory lapses that seem to presage the same slow, fatal progress his father experienced with dementia—the Alzhammer, in Mikey's lingo—and this is intolerable. Just as Mikey's pondering suicide, a new and mysterious outfit starts trying to kill him, and having his ticket punched by someone else is an indignity not to be suffered. Enter Zayana, Mikey's ex, who's been romantically involved with a sinister U.S. senator and whose attempts to disentangle herself (and get a bit of payola on the way out) seem to have precipitated the crisis. Mikey hands the reins of the family business to his sister, an ex-academic who turns out to be ideally suited to the role of Don Rosey, and he and Zayana (pretending to be Christian Scientists) hide out in an unlicensed nursing home near Las Vegas, where Mikey befriends a transgender nurse named Carololina and acquires a sex-starved septuagenarian sidekick named Hercules. After a whorehouse-and-casino van trip Mikey leads goes first bad and then, thanks to security videotape, viral, one of Mikey's old gunsels and the senator's chief enforcer show up for a final confrontation in the "Goners' Ward." The novel is fast-paced and often charming, especially in the nursing-home scenes, but its attitude toward subtlety isn't so much to eschew it as (this happens to a would-be assassin in the novel) to run it over with a Ferrari and then bring in a milk truck to mangle the corpse and drag it several miles. Lively but broad and overcaffeinated.

Kirkus Reviews