The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard Conversations

by Gavin Ortlund

Overview

In this positive and practical book, Gavin Ortlund looks to the Scriptures to discover a way in which to disagree with others that leads to greater understanding, peace and love—and that shows a watching world something of Jesus. 

This is a much-needed message in a society that is losing the ability to disagree well. Whether over politics, religion, culture, or the more everyday issues of normal life, points of view tend to be held with a polarizing intensity. Too often we view disagreements as must-win contests or we simply do our best to avoid them altogether.

Looking to Jesus’ example of courage and kindness, readers will be given a framework for engaging in intense disagreements with a love that furthers relationships instead of hindering them.

So, whether you tend to fight or flee, learn how to keep calm and stay friends—even when you disagree.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781802541403
Publisher:	The Good Book Company
Publication date:	02/20/2025
Pages:	96
Product dimensions:	4.90(w) x 7.70(h) x 0.30(d)

About the Author

Gavin Ortlund is a pastor, author, speaker, and apologist. He serves as President of Truth Unites and Theologian-in-Residence at Immanuel Nashville. Gavin is the award-winning author of Why God Makes Sense in a World That Doesn't, The Art of Disagreeing, and Finding the Right Hills to Die On. A fellow of The Keller Center for Cultural Apologetics, Gavin is married to Esther and they have five children.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Why Disagreement Is Difficult

1. Kindness
2. Courage
3. Listening
4. Persuasion
5. Love

Editorial Reviews

A tiny book with a tremendous punch! I’m thrilled Gavin Ortlund has written this first-class introduction on how to keep calm and stay friends in hard conversations. What a difference we’d see in church life and online life if we took such sane, biblical, and applied wisdom to heart and put it into action. I plan on getting lots of copies of this book and working through it with our church’s staff team. (Lead Minister

Gavin is one of the best models of thoughtful, gracious, and healthy disagreement that I know. In this timely book, he shows us how we can learn from, listen to, persuade, and love one another, with a warmth and wisdom that we can all learn from.

Andrew Wilson (Teaching Pastor

Culture wars, political polarization, and the toxic climate of social media are making it harder than ever for Christians to have conflictual conversations that build up relationships rather than tearing them down. Gavin Ortlund rightly believes that it is possible for us to disagree without being disagreeable. In The Art of Disagreement—a book blessedly short enough to read before your next hard conversation—Ortlund offers both spiritual encouragement and practical guidance for listening well, speaking wisely, and honoring God whenever we disagree.

Philip G. Ryken (President

Gavin Ortlund and I have had our fair share of theological disagreements, but I always enjoy our interactions because he practices the skills modeled in this book. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to promote civil dialogue in a polarized age.

Trent Horn (Host

This is a winsome, courageous, warm-hearted, and desperately needed book. Don’t let its brevity fool you into thinking it can’t possibly tackle this issue in a searching way. Rather, read it slowly, reflect, repent and commit to relating in Christ-like ways in his strength, and then pass it on to someone else, with the prayer that God may change the way in which we relate to one another for the sake of the gospel of the Lord Jesus!

Gary Millar (Principal

With scandals rocking the Christian world and disagreements between Christians played out on social media for all to see, this book is very timely. With pastoral wisdom and practical application, Gavin Ortlund asserts that while disagreement in itself is not a problem, the way we conduct ourselves when we disagree can be hugely damaging. This book encourages us to be better listeners (one of the indelible marks of wisdom) and challenges us not to try and win the argument but rather to build trust with those with whom we may (continue to) disagree.

Carrie Sandom (Director of Women's Ministry