The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children

The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children

by Shefali Tsabary


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The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children by Shefali Tsabary


"Parents . . . you will be wowed and awed by [Dr. Shefali]." —Oprah Winfrey

As seen on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday,
 a radically transformative plan that shows parents how to raise children to be their best, truest selves, from the New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent.

What if...?

What if I told you that you can put an end to all of your parenting struggles?

That you can learn to parent without fear or anxiety?

That you can end conflict with your children?

That you can create close and connected relationships within your family?

…Would you accept this invitation to a revolution in parenting? 

We all have the capacity to raise children who are highly resilient and emotionally connected. However, many of us are unable to because we are blinded by modern misconceptions of parenting and our own inner limitations. In The Awakened Family, I show you how you can cultivate a relationship with your children so they can thrive; moreover, you can be transformed to a state of greater calm, compassion and wisdom as well.

This book will take you on a journey to transcending your fears and illusions around parenting and help you become the parent you always wanted to be: fully present and conscious. It will arm you with practical, hands-on strategies and real-life examples from my experience as a parent and clinical psychologist that show the extraordinary power of being a conscious parent. 

Everyone in your family is ready to be awakened.

Will you take this journey with me?


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780399563973
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 05/30/2017
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 368
Sales rank: 29,687
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, Dr. Shefali brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development and runs a private practice in New York City. Dr. Shefali has written three books, including the award-winning New York Times bestselling book The Conscious Parent. Dr. Shefali is also a keynote speaker who has presented at TEDx, Kellogg Business School, the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education, and other conferences and workshops around the world. She's been featured on Oprah Winfrey's SuperSoul Sunday and Oprah's Lifeclass.

From the Hardcover edition.

Table of Contents

Part 1 A New Awakening 5

Chapter 1 Learning a New Way 5

The Roar of the Ego 11

How Fear Drives Our Anxiety, Anger, and Other Reactions to Our Children 13

The Part Played by Your Past 16

Is It Your Child, or Is It You? 18

How Our Children Are Our Awakeners 20

A Shift of Focus 23

Chapter 2 How the Culture Sets Up Parents to Fail 26

When Caring Feels Like Control 27

The Clash of Time Zones 29

What Children Really Need 31

Chapter 3 The Invisible Triggers of Our Reactivity 34

The Roots of Our Triggers 37

The Parental Kool-Aid 40

Part 2 Our Parenting Myths 45

Chapter 4 Myth #1: Parenting Is About the Child 47

The Problem with Child-Centric Parenting 47

The Tyranny of "Too" 51

Is Parenting Really an Unselfish Act? 53

Dare to Raise Yourself First 55

Chapter 5 Myth #2: A Successful Child Is Ahead of the Curve 61

Agenda-Driven Fun 62

The Curve Shows Up Everywhere 65

The Double-Edged Sword of "Reaching for One's Potential" 67

The "Unpotentialized" Child 69

Putting Things in Perspective 71

Chapter 6 Myth #3: There Are Good Children and Bad Children 75

Is It Defiance or Defensiveness? 78

Double Standards 81

Chapter 7 Myth #4: Good Parents Are Naturals 84

Moving from the Fantasy of Parenting to Reality 85

Chapter 8 Myth #5: A Good Parent Is a Loving One 89

Love Is Only a Beginning 90

When Love Doesn't Feel Like Love to a Child 91

Rethinking Our Ideas About Lave 94

Chapter 9 Myth #6: Parenting Is About Raising a Happy Child 98

Engaging Life "As Is"-Being Versus Doing 101

Learning About Happiness from Children 104

Chapter 10 Myth #7: Parents Need to Be in Control 107

Understanding the Limits of Our Control 108

Reframing the Concept of Control in Order to Raise Real Humans 110

Part 3 Understanding Our Reactivity 115

Chapter 11 Raising the Heal Child 117

How I Began to Awaken 118

Recognizing the Call of the Lost Self 122

Befriending Our Lost Self 124

Discovering Your Family's Emotional Blueprint 126

Chapter 12 What's Really Behind Our Reactions 131

Typical Pathways for the Expression of Fear 132

The Core of Our Fear 134

Entering Trust, Abundance, and Empowerment 157

Chapter 13 Transforming Fear into Consciousness 159

Emerging from the Shadows of the Past 163

Letting Go of Fantasy Parents 167

Separating Love from Fear 170

A New Path Lights Up Ahead of Us 175

Part 4 Transformative Parenting Skills 177

Chapter 14 From Expectations to Engagement 179

The Problem with Well-intentioned Expectations 182

What's the Unmet Expectation? 185

Out of the Head and into the Heart 187

The Dance of Nonduality 190

The Freedom of Engaging 192

Transforming Expectation into Engaging 196

Chapter 15 From Mindless Reaction to Mindful Presence 199

Entering the Present Moment 200

The Power of Impermanence 204

The Abundance of the "As Is" 206

Your Reaction Is Your Child's Trigger 211

Transforming Reaction to Authentic Expression 215

Chapter 16 From Chaos to Stillness 220

The Power of Silence 221

When Talking Creates Trouble-and the Value of Deep Listening 225

Discovering the Power of Your Presence 229

Making Time for Time 231

Chapter 17 From Role to No-Role 234

Tapping Into the Guidance of the Universe 236

Entering the No-Role Zone: Insights from Nature 238

The Power of the Antidote 243

The Power of the Container 244

Creating Rooms of Light 246

Chapter 18 From Emotions to Feelings 251

Creating a Direct Path to Feeling 260

Chapter 19 From Enmeshment to Autonomy 266

The Pitfall of Emotional Fusion 269

Developing Emotional Autonomy 271

Don't Fear Dissent 273

Embracing Pain 275

Chapter 20 From Judgment to Empathy 277

What Empathy Really Means 280

How to Empathically Address the Realities of Life 286

Empathy Does Not Mean Collusion 288

Decluttering Your Inner Landscape 290

Chapter 21 From Discipline to Enlightened Boundaries 293

You Cannot Set a Boundary You Don't Have 294

What's the Higher Purpose of Your Boundary? 297

Where Do Consequences and Punishment Fit In? 300

The Power of Clear Limits and Boundaries 302

The Mechanics of Holding a Limit 304

How Do Natural and Logical Consequences Really Work? 307

What's Your Embodiment Quotient? 312

Entering the Zone of Zero Hypocrisy 315

Redefining Discipline 318

Chapter 22 From the Battlefield to the Negotiation Table 320

Listening for the Untold Desire 321

Moving Away from Blind Indulgence 324

From Winning to Win-Win 326

Ending Sibling Wars 331

Subduing Divorce Drama 333

Red Flag Alert: Getting on a New Highway 335

The Courage to Be a Warrior of Peace 337

Epilogue: Shedding Skin, Shedding Light 339

Appendix: Thirty Daily Reminders to Build Consciousness 341

Acknowledgments 349

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The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Things can get complicated when, as parents, we explore our inner world and try to understand our own behavior in relation to the experiences we are having with our children and their unique personalities. There aren't many parenting books that: a. highlight the recognition and understanding of our inner voice and inner child AND b. how that comes into play with the day-to-day and repetitive issues we have with our children AND c. provide strategies to resolve them In her masterpiece, The Awakened Family, Dr. Shefali Tsabary brilliantly does all of the above--weaving in the lessons through real-life examples and personal experience as a parent. With a fine balance of poetry and prose, this book also offers parents reflective poems as well as chapter culminations for easy reference--making this book instructional as well as a quick guide. They say that , "Parenting does not come with a manual". Not anymore parents! Here it is. The only parenting book you'll ever need to read. As an author and educator, I have recommended this book as a must-read to every parent in my network. The content of the book truly delivers the promise on the cover. A revolution in parenting has truly begun.
Tammy-Ramsay_11 More than 1 year ago
The Awakened Family has the power to transform generations and lessen the pain that we pass onto our children. Dr. Shefali is a trailblazer who challenges the fear-based parenting paradigm that can rob children of their authenticity and lead to low self-worth. This book AWAKENED me and provided the tools to look within and begin healing my own wounds so that my children can thrive and become who they truly are. I've seen immediate positive results both in myself and my children. It's a MUST READ for anyone....parent or not!!! You won't be disappointed.
AngieSanders More than 1 year ago
So beautifully written that I got emotional reading sometimes. I've read many parenting books but this one is different. It asks us to truly go deep and let go of our egos. Dr. Shefali Tsabury, Phd tells us we must begin to self parent and self love ourselves to so we don't parent the way we were raised. We must become spiritual guides to our kids. This book will debunk parenting myths, it will have to you go from judging your kids to having empathy for them. From reacting to being more present. From chaos to stillness. I'm so grateful to Dr. Shefali for enlightening us with her wisdom. This truly is a new way of parenting and I'm so proud to be a part of this movement. For ourselves, for our kids, our family, for a better world. It's that profound! What a world it would be if more and more parents read this book and applied it to their lives!
Jessica Allen More than 1 year ago
Love love love this life transforming book on parenting. so glad I am learning a new way to parent my kids. the old way is not healthy. conscious parenting is the way to go!