The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

by Amy Schumer

Audio CD(Unabridged)

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Overview

2017 Audie Award Finalist for Audiobook of the Year and Narration by the Author

THE INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

"This is your happy hour with Amy Schumer... It's Bossypants meets Trainwreck meets your long weekend." —TheSkimm

“Amy’s got your back. She’s in your corner. She’s an honesty bomb. And she’s coming for you.” —Actress Tilda Swinton and Trainwreck co-star

The Emmy Award-winning and Tony-nominated comedian, actress, writer, and star of Inside Amy Schumer and the acclaimed films Trainwreck and I Feel Pretty has taken the entertainment world by storm with her winning blend of smart, satirical humor. Now, Amy Schumer has written a refreshingly candid and uproariously funny collection of (extremely) personal and observational essays.

Ranging from the raucous to the romantic, the heartfelt to the harrowing, this highly entertaining and universally appealing collection is the literary equivalent of a night out with your best friend—an unforgettable and fun adventure that you wish could last forever. Whether she’s experiencing lust-at-first-sight while in the airport security line, sharing her own views on love and marriage, admitting to being an introvert, or discovering her cross-fit instructor’s secret bad habit, Amy Schumer proves to be a bighearted, brave, and thoughtful storyteller that will leave you nodding your head in recognition, laughing out loud, and sobbing uncontrollably—but only because it’s over.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781508222002
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
Publication date: 08/16/2016
Edition description: Unabridged
Product dimensions: 5.10(w) x 5.70(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Amy Schumer has become one of the most influential figures in the entertainment industry as a stand-up comedian, actress, writer, producer, and director. Her smash hit television series, Inside Amy Schumer, has won a Peabody Award, a Critics’ Choice Television Award, and two Primetime Emmy Awards. She wrote and starred in her first feature-length film, Trainwreck, which dominated the 2015 summer comedy international box office and was nominated for two Golden Globes and won both the Critics’ Choice Award for “Best Actress in a Comedy,” and a Hollywood Film Award for “Comedy of the Year.” She earned a 2018 Tony nomination for her performance in Meteor Shower on Broadway and starred in the 2018 summer hit I Feel Pretty. As a stand-up comedian, she continues to perform to sold-out audiences around the world. Her 2016 tour was voted Pollstar’s Comedy Tour of the Year. Schumer was raised in New York City and Long Island and loves her brother and sister the very most.

Table of Contents

A Note to My Readers 1

An Open Letter to My Vagina 3

My Only One-Night Stand 5

I Am an Introvert 15

On Being New Money 25

An Introduction to My Stuffed Animals 39

Dad 45

Excerpt from My Journal in 1994 (Age Thirteen) with Footnotes from 2016 59

Officially a Woman 63

Camp Anchor 69

How I Lost My Virginity 83

Things You Don't Know About Me 93

Can't Knock the Hustle 99

Excerpt from My Journal in 1999 (Age Eighteen) with Footnotes from 2016 113

Faked It 'til I Maked It 117

Excerpt from My Journal in 2001 (Age Twenty) with Footnotes from 2016 129

Beautiful and Strong 133

Excerpt from My journal in 2003 (Age Twenty-Two) with Footnotes from 2016 145

How to Become a Stand-up Comedian 147

Times It's Okay for a Man to Not Make a Woman Come During Sex 171

The Worst Night of My Life 173

Things That Make Me Insanely Furious 185

Athletes and Musicians 191

Letter to the Editor 203

Secret Bad Habits 213

Mom 225

NYC Apartments 241

Blackouts and Stem Cells 251

An Exciting Time for Women in Hollywood 263

Mayci and Jillian 273

Things That Make Me Happy 283

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow 287

What I Want People to Say at My Funeral 301

Rider for the Funeral of Amy Schumer 303

Forgiving My Lower Back Tattoo 307

Acknowledgments 317

Ending Gun Violence 321

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