The year: 2000. The setting: Los Angeles. A gorgeous virtuoso of an actress agreed to star in a random play, and a basement-dwelling scenic carpenter said he would assay a supporting role in the selfsame pageant. At the first rehearsal she surveyed her fellow cast members, determining if any of the men might qualify to provide her with a satisfying fling. Her gaze fell upon the carpenter, and like a bolt of lightning the thought struck her: no dice. Moving on.
Yet, unbeknownst to our protagonists, Cupid had merely set down his bow and picked up a rocket launcher . . . that fired a love rocket (not a euphemism). The players were Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman, and the resulting romance, once ignited, was . . . epic. Beyond epic. It resulted in a coupling that has endured to this day; a sizzling, perpetual tryst that has captivated the world with its kindness, athleticism, astonishingly low-brow humor, and true (fire emoji) passion.
How did they do it? They came from completely different families, ignored a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
Eighteen years later, they're still very much in love and have finally decided to reveal the philosophical mountains they have conquered, the lessons they've learned, and the myriad jigsaw puzzles they've completed. Presented as an oral history in a series of conversations between the couple, the book features anecdotes, hijinks, photos, and a veritable grab bag of tomfoolery. This is not only the intoxicating book that Mullally's and Offerman's fans have been waiting for, it might just hold the solution to the greatest threat facing our modern world: the single life.
|Publisher:||Penguin Publishing Group|
|Product dimensions:||6.40(w) x 8.60(h) x 1.20(d)|
About the Author
Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally are actors, performers, and comedians. Together, they have appeared in the television shows Will & Grace, Parks & Recreation, and Children's Hospital, the movies Somebody Up There Likes Me, Kings of Summer, Infinity Baby, and Smashed, and the comedy tour Summer of 69: No Apostrophe. They live in Los Angeles, California, with their pups.
Read an Excerpt
Megan: All right! Bum‑ba‑da‑dum! Blastoff! (Laughs) This is the introduction to our book. Carefully and meticulously handcrafted, word by word.
Nick: Start your engines.
M: This book consists of our time‑tested insights into a number of topics, mostly in the areas of math and science.
N: It’s riddled with sordid details.
M: Sordid math details?
N: That’s right.
M: Like pi . . .
N: There are specific algorithms we created concerning the relationship between a woman and a man . . .
M: The birds and the bees.
N: The body produces its own lubrication in many instances . . .
M: Oh, wait a minute. This is the intro! Dude!
N: That’s physics!
M: No, no. Too soon! We do get into lubricants of various kinds. But not until later on in the book. Let’s not open with that.
So, Nick, how would you describe this kick‑ass sheaf?
N: To my way of thinking, it’s an illustration of a relationship that the reader might find surprisingly normal. When all you have by which to judge a relationship are some grippingly cute Instagram videos, it might not occur to one that there’s a lot of banal real life.
M: So this book is all the boring stuff? (Laughs)
M: Great! It’s going to sell like hotcakes.
N: It’s worse than just cuteness and puzzles with us.
There is also a great deal of tedium.
M: We wanted to make sure we got that down on paper.
N: Yes. We intend to elaborate for your reading pleasure.
M: Who would you say is the ideal audience for this book?
N: Altar boys?
M: (Laughs) This is a multigenerational, multigenderational, postmodernist deconstruction of the greatest love story ever told. Meaning, our relationship.
N: It’s for readers young and old, male and female, as well as LGBTQ . . .
M: . . . AI.
N: AI. And also every race, religion, every creed, every political leaning will find something to learn about the body’s ability to lubricate itself.
M: No! Well, all right . . . I have to concede, that is what the book is about.
N: When you think about it, what we all have in common is a sort of assemblage of meat that has interesting nooks and crannies.
M: Well, yeah, but then you have to find another meat assemblage with its own nooks and crannies, and then you have to start making the love.
N: You’ve hooked me. If I were reading this introduction, I would now plunge ahead to chapter one.
M: That’s the hook of the book. Meatloaf.
N: Meatloaf . . . with gravy.
M: Oh god. (Laughs) You’ve circled back around.
So, yes, it is in fact a book about the love affair—the nonplatonic relationship—between Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally, married couple and holders of social media accounts. That’s probably our biggest claim to fame, right?
N: Yes, that’s our thing.
M: My whole thing is really just my Twitter.
N: Two people who have thrilled millions upon social media. And also done some other things.
M: And two people who are extremely devoted to athletics. Sports! Sports of all kinds.
N: If you love sports . . .
M: You’re going to fucking shit over this book.
N: You’re going to blow a load.
M: He’s back to the lubricants here.
N: That just proves my point.
M: We have groundbreakingly divided this searing examination of a relationship between two human beings into chapters with different subject matters and headings. It’s an oral history presented to you in an organized yet playful fashion, dotted here and there with photography and cute drawings.
N: Before you dive in, make sure you’ve had a good meal. You’ll want to make sure you’re hydrated. And if you’re of age, a little bit of intoxication would not hurt the consumption of this tome. And then you may want to buckle up. Actually strap into a seat, because otherwise you might end up on the floor. If you’re wearing a hat, go ahead and remove it, because it’s guaranteed to fly off by the end of chapter three.
M: All right . . . I don’t think we’ve oversold it.
N: No, I don’t think that, of the many dangers facing us . . .
M: I think we’ve exercised a good deal of restraint in our praise of our own book about ourselves.
N: Antony and Cleopatra . . .
M: Fuck off.
N: Samson and Delilah . . .
M: Get lost.
N: Bogart and Bacall . . .
M: Never had a chance.
N: Suck it.
M: All right! See you guys in the book!
N: See you there!
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
This is the story of the relationship of Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman, two brilliant actors and comedians starring in television shows such as Parks and Recreation and Will and Grace and I do not say this often, this was the most BRILLIANT biography I have ever read not only in my career as a Librarian but in my entire life. First of all, I loved how the book was written with each of them speaking their mind allowing the reader to see their true personalities, like we were their friends having a casual conversation. Megan's personality definitely shined through telling us stories of her personal life and what went on behind the scenes at Will and Grace. Nick really shined describing what it was like being a carpenter to an actor having a key role on Parks and Recreation making America fall in love with him as Ron Swanson. This book was so addicting that I could not stop reading it and now I get it why they recommend to be well fed and hydrated before you read this book because you won't be able to stop jumping up and down screaming YES! while you read the book! I wish I could give this infinity stars but we can only give it 5 stars! #greatestlovestoryevertold #netgalley
I love Nick Offerman and his work so much. I was fortunate enough to go see him on tour last December and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard. This book is almost as magical as seeing him onstage. The banter between him and his wife is lewd, playful and all around hilarious. It was nice to see more of her than just that girl from Will and Grace or one of the Tammy’s from Parks and Rec. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a good laugh and a little bit of actual relationship advice. *Thank you to Netgalley for this review copy. All opinions are my own*
I had heard that the audiobook version of this one was amazing, so I decided to give it a whirl, and it DID NOT disappoint! This really is no surprise because listening to Megan and Nick tell their own story in their own hilarious, sarcastic, off the cuff way was so much fun. I honestly love both of them as actors in their own right (and I love Megan's band) so I wasn't wildly surprised that I loved listening to this book. It is like having a beer with a good friend and hearing stories of their lives. It's a blast. It lets you fall a little more in love with them. It 100% demonstrates how crazy they are about one another. And it confirms just now normal the two of them really are, despite Hollywood. There isn't much more to say for this one, other than, grab a copy of this and get ready to super enjoy a book. And I'll pass along the advice given to me - this one on audio is EPIC.
I was expecting a very funny read but it was very disappointing. It turned out to be a bit boring. I wish I could take it back.
You certainly have to be a big fan of both of them to get a kick out of it, and I don't know how many friends I'd consider getting this for but I found this to be an entertaining read.
I really thought I'd love this book, but I found it boring.
A festival of ignorance! How many rational, valid life choices did YOU make when you were 9 years old? After lengthy rambling in vague, undefined terms, about their childhoods and entry into their professions, these two launch into a celebration of bigotry. It seems, that age 9, Megan realized that she is evolved beyond the rest of humanity, and dismissed her mother's faith and ALL faith. Until she gets to the part where she describes, in detail, what she was thinking at her Baptism...when she was 18 weeks old. That's right! She claims to remember having chosen, at 4 months of age, to cry during her Baptism because she was offended by the appearance of the priest and his admonition to not cry. Nick, on the other hand, details his complete lack of the ability to consider major life issues from a position of a logical and educated adult by bragging about how he rejected his parent's faith as a teen because he didn't like how the congregation recited the Nicene creed. She tells him she is going to withhold sex because he can name the sacraments. That little exercise...and, if you love being lectured on a subject by a speaker who knows nothing about his given subject, this is for you...allows the two of them to spew hate towards not only Catholics, but all Christians. They summarize by saying their parents are the "right" kind of Catholics...they never talk about their faith or do anything that would let anyone know what they believe. That's the point at which I closed the book. Thank God, literally, I got it from the library and didn't pay for this . If bigotry, banality, and self-congratulatory stupidity are your "favorites", order this book NOW.