The Heart of the Fight: A Couple's Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer

by Judith Wright EdD, Bob Wright EdD

Overview

Every couple fights—it’s how you fight that can determine the success of your relationship. This book teaches you to look beyond what you and your partner fight about, and discover the core issues that undermine your relationship.

In the midst of a disagreement, many couples ask themselves, “What are we really fighting about?” Sound familiar? As it turns out, breakups and divorce don’t happen because couples fight, they happen because of how couples fight. In this much-needed book, Judith and Bob Wright—two married counselors and coaches with over thirty years of experience helping couples learn how to fight well—present their tried-and-true methods for exploring the emotions that underlie many relationship fights.

In this unique guide, you’ll learn how to use disagreements as an opportunity to deepen your understanding of your partner, bring more intimacy to the relationship, strengthen your bond, and really learn from the conflicts and tensions that occur between you. You’ll also learn how to navigate the fifteen most common fights couples have, including “the blame game,” “dueling over dollars,” “If you really loved me, you’d…,” “told-you-so’s,” and more.

If you’re ready to start fighting for your love, rather than against it, this book will show you how.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781626252592
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	02/02/2016
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	240
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Judith Wright, EdD, is a world-renowned couples and lifestyles coach, media favorite, inspirational speaker, lifestyles expert, professor, and corporate consultant. She is the award-winning coauthor of Transformed! and the best-selling author of There Must Be More Than This and The Soft Addiction Solution. Wright has appeared on 20/20, Oprah, Good Morning America, and Today; and in over 600 print and radio interviews, including the New York Post, Boston Herald, and San Francisco Chronicle. Wright is cofounder of the dynamic and innovative couples program at the Wright Foundation and the Wright Graduate University for the Realization of Human Potential, where she is also professor of transformational coaching.

Bob Wright, EdD, is an internationally recognized visionary, speaker, educator, consultant, coach, professor, and best-selling author. He cofounded the Wright Graduate University for the Realization of Human Potential to teach people to develop their vision and fulfill their dreams. Coauthor of the award-winning book Transformed! and several other books that have sold hundreds of thousands of copies globally, Wright is recognized as a top coach by Crain’s Business and has helped thousands of people across the country transform their careers, relationships, and lives. Wright is cofounder of the couples program at the Wright Foundation and the Wright Graduate University for the Realization of Human Potential, where he is also professor of transformational leadership.

Judith and Bob bring not only significant academic and research background to the couples skills they teach, but also real-world experience from a thriving and dynamic marriage. It’s not uncommon for the Wrights to be mistaken for newlyweds—even after thirty-plus years of marriage. They model a truth-telling, no-holds-barred, intimate relationship for all the couples they lead, teach, and train.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Part 1 Real Relationships: Breaking Myths and Building Vision

1 The Adventure of Intimate Conflict 7

2 Love Is Messy 25

3 Happily Never After: Getting Past Fairy-Tale Romance So You Can Fight for True Love 41

Part 2 The Art of the Fight: Six Skills for Battling to Bliss

4 Yearn: Discover and Follow Your Yearning 61

5 Engage! The Seven Rules for Fighting Fair and Loving Well 81

6 Reveal: Uncover the Matrix of Your Unconscious Beliefs and Unfinished Business 103

7 Liberate: Break Free from Limiting Beliefs and Behaviors 125

8 Rematrix: Reprogram Your Mind, Transform Your Relationship 145

9 Dedicate: Commit to Change for the Better, Forever 165

Part 3 Open Your Heart and Expand Your Vision

10 Emotional Maturity: Intimate Living, Loving, and Fighting 183

11 Intimate Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotional Literacy 193

12 The Good Fight: An Expanding Vision of What Is Possible 209

Acknowledgments 221

References 223

About the Authors 231

Resources 234

Interviews

The Wrights reside in Chicago, Ill.

Editorial Reviews

I love this book! Bob and Judith offer the best program I’ve seen for using the conflict that inevitably arises in marriage to help a couple create more intimacy. This is a must-read for anyone in a relationship or thinking about getting in a relationship.”
—Cynthia Kersey, visionary and global humanitarian, founder and CEO of Unstoppable Foundation, and best-selling author of Unstoppable



“Lovers hate conflicts. Employees hate conflicts. Your pets hate conflicts. … But conflicts—and the fighting that ensues—are unavoidable, and the more deeply you love someone, or want to love someone, the more fights you are going to have. … But if you fight fairly, with love within your heart, your intimacy will prosper. Judith and Bob Wright will show you the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to fight, making this a rare and valuable book for every couple and spouse.”
—Mark Waldman, executive MBA faculty at Loyola Marymount University, and coauthor of How Enlightenment Changes Your Brain

From the Publisher

An inspirational and eye-opening wake-up call for anyone who wants to create authentic, thriving relationships. From friendships to business relationships to spouses, this book provides great tools for relationships that really work.”

#1 New York Times bestelling author Jack Canfield