The Men I've Almost Dated

The Men I've Almost Dated

by Lucretia Anne Ackfield

NOOK Book(eBook)

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Meet Lucretia. A witty, acutely observant, stiletto-loving writer with an unwavering belief that Mr Right is just around the corner. She just needs to overcome some questionable decision making, lackluster sexual adventures and downright bizarre male behaviour along the way.

After falling out of love and ending her 10 year marriage, Lucretia finds herself navigating a strange new world as a thirty-something single woman without a road map.

From an earth shattering moment in a car park with an intellectually stimulating stranger to being stalked in a gay bar and finding herself up a tree in a cemetery at 4.30am being attacked by angry birds, this soul-bearing memoir is equal parts heartbreaking, hilarious and astonishingly honest.

The Men I’ve Almost Dated is a voyeuristic, thoughtful and at times mortifying memoir about a woman who’s determined to follow her heart wherever it leads, even when the road is a dead end.

Described as Bridget Jones’s Diary meets Sex and the City with a dash of Eat, Pray, Love, Lucretia’s story will have you cringing, laughing aloud and shaking your head with disbelief from start to finish.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780994569615
Publisher: Lucretia's Words
Publication date: 09/27/2016
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 314
File size: 263 KB

About the Author

Lucretia Ackfield is a writer, university tutor, public relations professional and intuitive mentor who loves nothing more than helping people uncover and share their stories with the world. She also still believes in love and explores her 'single reality' with a mixture of trepidation, enthusiasm and frustrated desire while also embracing her intuitive gifts and the unexpected insights they bring to her life. This interesting combination of professional, worldly and other-worldly experience makes for a fascinating, insightful, passionate and witty writer with a full-frontal sense of humour. You can find more about Lucretia, her words and mentoring programs at

Table of Contents

PART 1 THE WEDDING, THE CAR PARK AND OTHER REALISATIONS 7 The Wedding 9 Under the Influence of 30 14 The Smell of Sex 24 The Departure Lounge 29 Surviving the Impact 35 'But You Were My Model For A Good Relationship!' 40 Relationship Amnesia 48 'Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves' 52 Market Competition 64 Cyberstalking and Fairytales 75 PART 2 DYSFUNCTIONAL DATING AND OTHER DISASTERS 83 The Categories of Man 85 Mr No-Show 86 The Perpetual Flirt 91 The Newly Single Man 92 The Old Dog 94 The Serial Texter 95 The Single-Attached Man 98 The Taken Man 99 The Controlling Snake 101 The Hors De Oeuvres Man 105 The Younger Man 106 Why Men are Like Feral Cats 110 Salsa Cat 112 Shady Cat 120 Shameless Cat 122 Never-Been-Faithful Cat 123 The Dating Game 125 Online Freaksters 145 The Men I've Almost Dated 165 Never Ask A Man If He's Gay When... 188 The Sex Drought and Casual Casualties 194 PART 3 THE LESSONS OF LUCRETIA 197 The Dating Drive-through 201 He Knows What He Wants, What He Really, Really Wants 206 Reaching Relationship Man 210 The 80/20 Rule 213 What Was I Thinking? 215 Don't Give Up Your Life For A Man 221 The Unassailable Truth: Perfection Does Not Exist 224 The Single Advantage 226 Don't Break the Deal Breakers 233 Old Man Fear 240 Demolish the Comfort Zone 244 Break-ups Won't Kill You 249 What I Should Have Said 252 Heartbreak Recovery 256 The Goodbye Note 263 The Ex Connection 269 The Big Ex 274 EPILOGUE 283 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 287 ABOUT THE AUTHOR 291 COMING SOON 1 THE MADNESS OF LOVE 1 Can't Let Go 2 Love is a Mess 3 Leaving Only Love 7 Reunion 9 Culmination 12 The Moon and the Stars 18 Never a Dull Conversation 20

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