The Opposite of Hate: A Field Guide to Repairing Our Humanity

by Sally Kohn

Overview

“Brilliantly illustrates the immense and disarming power of changing course and driving not toward division, but toward civility and mutual respect.”  —Ms. magazine
 
As a progressive commentator on Fox News and now CNN, Sally Kohn has made a career out of bridging intractable political differences. In this age of dangerous partisan resentment and rising bigotry, she decided to investigate hate itself—to better consider how we can stop it. With her trademark humor and humanity, Kohn introduces us to leading researchers and scientists who are exploring the evolutionary and cultural roots of hate. She travels to Rwanda, to the Middle East, and across the United States, talking with former terrorists and reformed white supremacists, and even sitting down with some of her own Twitter trolls. What she discovers is surprising: All of us harbor hate but the powerful acknowledgment that we are all in this together can lead us out of the wilderness. The opposite of hate is connection.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781616209391
Publisher:	Little, Brown and Company
Publication date:	03/26/2019
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	272
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Sally Kohn is one of the leading progressive voices in America. She is currently a columnist and CNN political commentator. Previously a Fox News contributor, she has been a frequent guest on MSNBC and writes for media outlets, including the Washington Post,the New York Times, New York Magazine, Cosmopolitan,the Daily Beast, Time, and many others. Kohn lives in Brooklyn with her partner, Sarah Hansen, and their daughter, Willa.

Table of Contents

Foreword ix

Introduction What Is Hate, The Bully 1

1 Why We Hate, The Trolls 13

2 How We Hate, The Former Terrorist 53

3 Hating Is Belonging, The Ex-White Supremacist 85

4 Unconscious Hate, The Trump Supporter 119

5 When Hate Becomes Pandemic, The Genocide 155

6 Systems of Hate, The Big Picture 191

Conclusion The Journey Forward 223

Acknowledgments 237

Notes 241

A Conversation With Sally Kohn 263

Questions For Discussion 269

Editorial Reviews

Kohn is funny and warm as she shares the best ways to shift the hate and dissolve the barriers between those of us with divergent views.” 
—Esquire

“A holistic guide toward building a world where we are all greater than fear and more powerful than anger.”
 —Ms.

“Whether she’s visiting reconciliation villages in Rwanda or recounting her own surprisingly productive interactions with abusive Twitter trolls, Kohn is a thoughtful, empathetic reporter whose insights aren’t just timely – they feel necessary to our survival.”
—Apple Books

“A stunning debut by a truly gifted writer—an eye-opening read for both liberals and conservatives—and it could not come at a better time.” 
—Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Option B, with Sheryl Sandberg

“A must-read book for all of us at this moment in history. I’m grateful for Sally Kohn’s clear voice and vision in showing us the way forward.”
—Elizabeth Gilbert  

“Sally Kohn has really done it this time. Brilliant.”
—Sarah Silverman

“Sick of the anger, division and hate in our world? Sally Kohn’s book is uplifting, funny, and full of inspiring solutions.” 
—Van Jones, host of The Van Jones Show and New York Times bestselling author of Beyond the Messy Truth
 
“Sally and I agree on very little politically, but somehow in spite of that, we have navigated a friendship that transcends everything else. This book explains it all!”
—Sean Hannity

“A testament to the power of understanding others deeply, the book reminds us that even those we disagree with vehemently have a perspective and orientation in the world that we can learn from as we work to make the world better.”
—DeRay Mckesson, social activist and host of Pod Save the People

“[Kohn's] passionate appeal for empathy provides a proactive springboard for readers who find themselves unable to comprehend the xenophobia and lack of civility in others. An uplifting and inspiring plea to promote peace, kindness, and humanitarianism in the face of hate.”
—Kirkus Reviews

From the Publisher

11/15/2017
A progressive commentator on Fox News and now CNN, Kohn decided to look hate straight in the face. Traveling from Rwanda to the Middle East and throughout America, she spoke with white supremacists and terrorists while also examining her own attitudes. With an eight-city tour.

Library Journal

Once listeners adapt to Sally Kohn’s abrupt tone and quick pacing, they’ll recognize an authentic humanist with a knack for communicating passion when sharing an idea or a poignant story. The progressive CNN commentator offers remedies for the scourge of hatred gripping our country. She describes at the personal level how quickly we can hate or “otherize” people who don’t look like us, think like us, or vote like us. She surveys startling research that sheds light on these interpersonal dynamics, while her stories show on a cultural scale how quickly people can normalize public cruelty. With candor and vocal engagement, she describes her search to affirm and connect with others, and challenges listeners to confront institutional discrimination and public rhetoric when it promotes division instead of connection. T.W. 2019 Audies Finalist © AudioFile 2019, Portland, Maine

FEBRUARY 2019 - AudioFile

2018-02-06
An examination of what motivates hateful behavior and how to challenge it with positive and empathic attitudes and intercourse.CNN commentator Kohn admits that her reputation for "being nice" has never been tested as much as during these days of anger, resentment, and Donald Trump-instigated abhorrence and bias. In questioning whether it's actually possible for society to overcome hate, the author makes a compelling argument that though we may have become hate-prone, it's never too late to reroute the course. She presents examples beginning with the ways and means of an aggressive band of internet trolls: complete strangers who "berate and belittle me on a daily basis" via her Twitter page. Though initiating purposeful contact with her nastiest detractors was initially futile, she humanized each of them and, in turn, condensed the root cause of their meanness as their essentialization of her as an opinionated, lesbian New Yorker. Kohn also places blame on social media platforms like Twitter, which affords trolls an expansive playing field from which to hate. In probing further, she consults with social scientists and experts on hate movements and travels across the globe to profile an ex-white supremacist and a former Middle Eastern terrorist to uncover how they've transformed their perceptions. The author then contrasts them with those who believe that acrimony based on differences is simply "human nature." She also explores systemic bias fostered by faith institutions, media outlets, corporations, and politics. Quite movingly, Kohn owns her own incidents of hate by recalling (and atoning for) a cruel bullying incident in grade school. Finally, she presents a variety of universally applicable counteractions to hate—e.g., approaching dissenters with "emotional correctness" or communicating with mutual respect and compassion. The author's passionate appeal for empathy provides a proactive springboard for readers who find themselves unable to comprehend the xenophobia and lack of civility in others.An uplifting and inspiring plea to promote peace, kindness, and humanitarianism in the face of hate.

Kirkus Reviews