The Perfection Paradox: Accept Your Addiction, Overcome Your Obsession, and Escape to Excellence

The Perfection Paradox: Accept Your Addiction, Overcome Your Obsession, and Escape to Excellence


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Perfection. It sounds appealing. After all, what is better than perfect? The allure of perfection hooks and draws us in. Once we've tasted perfection, good will never be good enough again! At least that's what we tell ourselves.

Author Jeffrey A. Kramer knows all too well how debilitating an addiction to the ideal can be. After a lifetime pursuing perfection, he broke free from its grip. And now, so can you. In The Perfection Paradox, you will discover:

  • How good intentions and efforts can lead to an addiction to perfection.
  • The effects of perfectionism on yourself and those around you.
  • A path to understanding and living with perfectionism in a way that serves you rather than enslaves you.



Part 1: Perfection - The Making of the Addict

The pursuit of perfection. It sounds appealing, after all, what is better than perfect. So why not get after it. For some it's self-imposed because we have a burning desire to be great, or perhaps we are just wired that way. Others might feel pressured by our parents, teachers or other authority figures who tell us that our effort isn't good enough, that we need to try harder. And for some the pressures are societal, trying to live up to the expectations of others based on what we see and hear around us. No matter what or who drives us to perfectionism, the earlier we begin the pursuit, and the harder we drive it, the stronger our addiction becomes.

Part 2: Paralysis - Life Inside the Paradox

The addiction starts out as a seemingly innocent desire to do great things. The perfectionist believes they are doing amazing work, that they are continuously approaching the perfect everything! Then reality sets in. Maybe our constant pursuit begins to create frustration, feelings of inadequacy, and then the need to cover for ourselves with a mask of perfection illusion. Or in some cases, our expectation of perfection from others causes us to ruin relationships and miss opportunities. The addiction even causes some of us to fall into other psychological disorders like obsessive/compulsive behaviors or attention difficulties. The paradox is revealed as we discover the damage that our pursuit of perfection delivers into our lives.

Part 3: Progress - Getting to Good Enough

In addiction recovery programs the professionals say the first step is acknowledging you have a problem. For perfectionists it isn't so much acknowledgement of a problem as it is realization of what we have unwittingly done to ourselves and others. There is no 12-step program or in-patient recovery center for perfectionists. We have to find other ways to control our demon. Only when we admit the cause of our addiction, the results we have realized, and the ways we have covered for our self-perceived shortcomings, can the struggle of undoing allow us to progress from perfect, to good enough.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781647465247
Publisher: Author Academy Elite
Publication date: 02/02/2021
Pages: 146
Sales rank: 951,126
Product dimensions: 5.51(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.31(d)

About the Author

Jeffrey A. Kramer is an author, coach, and speaker who spent nearly 35 years building better communities as an award-winning engineer and construction manager for government agencies. Jeff spent most of those years as an obsessive perfectionist, paralyzed by the idea that he wasn't good enough, aggravating others with impossible expectations, and compensating for fear of being exposed as an imposter by overachieving, collecting credentials, and moving on before anyone could find him out.

Now a recovering perfectionist who has overcome his addiction to the ideal, Jeff focuses on building people by helping them clarify their calling, overcome their obstacles, and define their direction, so they become perfectly unhackable and are encouraged, equipped and empowered to become Ascending Leaders and rise to new heights of success.

An Unhackable Transformation coach, certified by the John Maxwell Team, Igniting Souls, and as a DISC practitioner, Jeff is also an amateur photographer, avid reader, and former athlete who unapologetically cries tears of joy when the national anthem plays during the Olympic games. Jeff and his wife, Sharon, live in Arizona and share four amazing daughters.

Connect with him at

Table of Contents

Foreword by Philip Van Hooser


Part 1: Perfection - The Making of the Addict

Chapter 1: I Know I Can Do Better

Chapter 2: Your Lettering Is Off

Chapter 3: Oh Snap, Facebook Made Me Do It!

Part 2: Paralysis - Life Inside the Paradox

Chapter 4: I'll Get to It Tomorrow, Or the Next Day, Or Maybe Friday . . .

Chapter 5: That Should Do It, Or That, Or That . . .

Chapter 6: If You Could Just See Things My Way

Chapter 7: Oh, the Things I Do for You

Part 3: Progress - Getting to Good Enough

Chapter 8: The Paradox Revealed

Chapter 9: Becoming Worthy

Chapter 10: Learning to Live Inside the Paradox

Chapter 11: Letting Good Enough Stay Good Enough


Appendix 1: Living Inside the Paradox-Seven Steps to Confronting Your Perfectionism

Appendix 2: Transcript of Jeff's 9/23/2014 Coaching Call with Kary Oberbrunner

Appendix 3: Accepting Imperfection Affirmation

Appendix 4: 20 Self-Reflection Questions for Perfectionists

Appendix 5: Endnotes


About the Author

About the Publisher

About Ascending Leaders

Your Next Steps with The Perfection Paradox

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