Things I'll Never Say

by Cassandra Newbould

Overview

A beautifully raw coming-of-age story for fans of Becky Albertalli and Julie Murphy, examining what it means to crush on your two best friends at the same time.

Ten years ago, the Scar Squad promised each other nothing would tear them apart. Even when Casey Jones Caruso lost her twin brother Sammy to an overdose, and their foursome became a threesome, the squad picked each other up. But when Casey’s feeling for the remaining members—Francesca and Benjamin—develop into romantic attraction, she worries the truth will dissolve them.

Casey tries to ignore her heart, until Ben kisses her at a summer party, and Frankie kisses another girl. Now Casey must confront all the complicated feelings she’s buried—for her friends and for the brother she’s totally pissed at for dying. Since Sammy’s death, Casey has spilled all the things she can no longer say to him in journals, and now more than ever, she wishes he were here to help her decide whether she should guard her heart or bet it all on love, before someone else decides for her.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781682637203
Publisher:	Holiday House
Publication date:	07/16/2024
Pages:	288
Product dimensions:	4.89(w) x 7.75(h) x 0.82(d)
Age Range:	14 - 17 Years

About the Author

Cassandra Newbould is the editor and a contributor of the YA intersectional, fat, feminist anthology Every Body Shines (Bloomsbury, '21) and the contemporary YA epistolary Things I’ll Never Say (Peachtree, ‘23). As host and creator of the Fat Like Me podcast, Cassandra has discussed the need for more intersectional body diversity in kid lit. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her family. When she’s not writing, you can find her at a poker table reminding the other players to never underestimate the power of a determined girl and her cards.

Editorial Reviews

"Newbould . . . successfully normalizes consensual nonmonogamous relationships for teens. . . . A forceful exploration of the complexities of love and loss."—Kirkus Reviews
 
“All at once heart wrenching and heartwarming. The pages can’t turn fast enough. An intimate portrayal of grief and all the love and confusion that comes with it, Things I’ll Never Say is a must-read for readers who love big feelings books!” —Ashley Schumacher, author of Amelia Unabridged
 
“I felt like I was back home by the beach. The way Casey explores grief hurt my heart, but the way she experiences love massaged it.” —Francina Simone, author of Smash It!
 
“Beautiful and poignant. The book I needed at seventeen, but am glad to have now.” —Charish Reid, author of Hearts on Hold

“All the feels! Cassandra Newbould gives us a moving story of first loves and first loss. A must-read for anyone picking up the pieces after heartbreak.” —Kelly deVos, author of Eat Your Heart Out and Fat Girl on a Plane
 
“Raw and vivid, Things I'll Never Say gives a genuine and emotional account of processing loss. Having lost a sibling as a young adult myself, Newbould hit the nail on the head––grief is very much the ebb and flow of waves capable of consuming those left behind. Burning the coping journals is a hauntingly beautiful way for Casey to remain connected to her twin brother.” —Taj McCoy, author of Zora Books Her Happy Ever After
 
“Beautifully written, voicey, and raw. Things I’ll Never Say will leave you feeling like you’ve read a close friend’s private journal, and it reminds us to not let fear rob the little time we have to dive fully into loving ourselves and others. This is a powerful and essential debut everyone should read.” —Rebecca Sky, author of Arrow Heart
 
“Cassandra Newbould will capture your heart on every page and you'll fall head over heels for this emotional and gripping coming of age story. Things I'll Never Say is a love letter to friendship, love, and finding hope after hopelessness. Casey is a character who made me laugh, cry, and remember summer nights. I couldn't put it down!” —Denise Williams, author of The Fastest Way to Fall

From the Publisher

2023-03-29
After her twin’s death, a teen journals as an exercise in sorting out her grief, anxiety, and crushes on her two best friends.

This debut is told mostly in epistolary form, mixing Casey Jones’ letters with occasional verse as she writes down all the things she’ll never get a chance to say to Sammy, her twin who died of an opioid overdose 17 months prior. Between the crushing weight of survivor’s guilt and the crushes bisexual Casey has on both Benjamin Dean and Francesca Romero, the other members of the siblings’ tightknit friend group, her anxiety is spiraling out of control and the already narrow gap between casual drug use and a dangerous addiction is shrinking. One fateful night, Ben kisses Casey; at the same party, Casey sees Frankie kissing another girl. She’ll have to decide if honesty is really the best policy when you’ve got crushes on two of your friends at the same time. Though the slang used will soon feel dated, readers will appreciate getting to know a gritty, complicated protagonist who has a frank, matter-of-fact vibe about the darkness in her life. Casey is many things—fat, queer, a grieving sister, a surfer, and someone struggling with anxiety. Newbould also successfully normalizes consensual nonmonogamous relationships for teens. Frankie is Puerto Rican; other main characters read White.

A forceful exploration of the complexities of love and loss. (content warning, resources) (Fiction. 14-18)

Kirkus Reviews