Uniformly Dead

Uniformly Dead

by Greta McKennan

Paperback

$15.00
View All Available Formats & Editions
Eligible for FREE SHIPPING
  • Want it by Tuesday, September 25?   Order by 12:00 PM Eastern and choose Expedited Shipping at checkout.

Overview

Uniformly Dead by Greta McKennan

Historical seamstress Daria Dembrowski has her work cut out for her as she searches for a killer's pattern . . .

Daria has come up with a brilliant new plan to expand her seamstress business beyond stitching wedding gowns-historical sewing. And with Civil War re-enactors setting up camp in her hometown of Laurel Springs, Pennsylvania, she has plenty of opportunities, including one client playing a Confederate colonel who's a particular stickler for authenticity.

But soon the small-town peace starts coming apart at the seams as an antique doll is stolen from a Civil War exhibit and the cranky colonel is found impaled by his own bayonet. When Daria's brother is suspected of the theft and a bridal client's fiancé is accused of the murder, Daria is determined to untangle the clues to prove their innocence. She needs to get this case sewn up fast, though, before the murderer re-enacts the crime and makes her history.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781516101719
Publisher: Random House
Publication date: 05/16/2017
Series: Stitch in Time Mystery Series , #1
Pages: 204
Sales rank: 668,472
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.47(d)

Read an Excerpt

Uniformly Dead

A Stitch in Time Mystery


By Greta McKennan

KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.

Copyright © 2017 Greta McKennan
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5161-0168-9


CHAPTER 1

My first meeting with Colonel Windstrom was a disaster. He marched into my fitting room — previously the formal dining room of my Federal-style house — as if it were a military headquarters. A hefty man, his tread shook the floorboards, jiggling the bolts of cloth leaning on the built-in shelf along the inside wall and toppling a rag doll on the mantel. He narrowly missed knocking into my antique spinning wheel. He took no notice of the books on the Civil War I'd carefully selected from the library, or the framed portrait of a Union soldier that I'd borrowed from an old lady at church. His bluster disrupted the cozy atmosphere I tried to create with my ruffled white organdy curtains and the hot cider simmering on the sideboard.

"I'll need coat and breeches from the gray wool," he instructed me, without even a hello. "The shirt of white cotton broadcloth. Mind the stitches now. Anything that shows has got to look authentic." He pulled on his long, "authentic" moustache and scowled. "General Eberhart won't tolerate any Farbs in his outfit."

"Yessir, no Farbs," I repeated, wondering if a Farb was some new kind of Velcro. "You can count on me." I brandished my measuring tape to reassure him of my competence.

Colonel Windstrom glared. "Ms. Dembrowski, you don't even know what a Farb is, do you?"

I drew myself up to my full five feet three inches. It was the first time I'd ever faced down a colonel, of any description. "Actually, no," I said. "But you can be sure I won't be using any Farbs on your uniform."

Colonel Windstrom's laugh startled me. His pudgy face turned bright red and he snorted through his nose. "Do you know a thing about reenacting?" he barked. "A Farb is someone who doesn't care about history or an accurate portrayal of the period. He just wants to go out on a sunny day and shoot off some cannons. He'll make his uniform out of polyester if he feels like it." Colonel Windstrom wiped his face with a grimy handkerchief. "You obviously need to learn a thing or two about Civil War reenacting," he admonished me, as if I were seventeen instead of twenty-nine. He strode out the door without a backward glance.

I rolled my eyes at my cherished silhouette of Betsy Ross that hung above the mantel. Betsy Ross had been my hero ever since I did a project on her life in the fifth grade. I sewed a miniature felt flag and a mobcap for my presentation and pretended to be the illustrious seamstress. Even if no one could prove that she designed the first flag of the United States, she continued to inspire me as I focused more on historical projects in my sewing business, A Stitch in Time. I wondered how many belligerent patrons Betsy had to put up with in her day.

I hated to admit it, but Colonel Windstrom was right when he said I should learn more about reenacting. I got my first lesson later that very evening.


* * *

I didn't often do house calls, unless I was working on drapes or upholstery, but this time I made an exception. I'd never seen a Civil War reenactors' encampment before, and I wasn't going to miss this one. If I was lucky, I might get a few more uniform orders before the mock battle at the end of the week. I'd be well on my way to establishing myself as the premier historical seamstress of Laurel Springs, Pennsylvania.

I got off the bus on the outskirts of Turner Run Park. The reenactors had taken over. Normally the serene river valley, nestled between two wooded bluffs, hosted a few dog walkers or the Laurel High School cross-country team on a training run. Today rows of canvas tents filled the valley floor. Laid out in straight lines as if on a grid, they illustrated the kind of military discipline required from a commander who would not tolerate any Farbs in his outfit. Men squatted around campfires scattered among the tents. The smell of wood smoke mingled with the unmistakable odor of gunpowder. The scent reminded me of the Fourth of July — an ironic association for a camp filled with Confederate soldiers bent on dissolving the Union. The men all had beards and long moustaches, and wore homespun shirts or tattered uniform coats, with muskets and rifles propped carelessly by their sides. My heart beat a little faster as I approached these mock Civil War soldiers. I felt like I was taking a step back in time.

I glanced around the groups, wondering how I would find Colonel Windstrom, when all of a sudden I heard my name.

"Daria!"

I peered through the campfire smoke to see a beefy soldier waving at me.

"Hey, Chris." I knew Chris Porter through my work on his fiancée's wedding gown. With the wedding coming up next week, I needed all the time I could get.

Chris lumbered to his feet and came over to me. He held out his arms and pivoted slowly around. "What do you think — Confederate soldier extraordinaire?"

My lips twitched, but I didn't laugh. Obviously General Eberhart wasn't paying enough attention because Chris was a Farb if there ever was one. His coat looked more like a Halloween costume than a period piece. I didn't even need to feel the fabric — I could see the unmistakable sheen of polyester. His cheerful face was bare of beard or moustache — not because he was too young, but evidently he just chose not to grow one.

"This is such a rush, Daria! I get to march with rifles with real bayonets and everything. How cool is that?" Chris plopped down on a log. "You wanna come sit by the fire?"

"Just for a minute." I sat down carefully beside him. "I'm here to see Colonel Windstrom." I blinked smoke out of my eyes. "I didn't know you were a reenactor."

"A buddy told me about it — he said they needed more soldiers. People keep quitting or something. So I snagged a coat and here I am. I'm taking a whole week off work to get the full experience."

"A whole week, with a wedding just around the corner? What does Marsha have to say about that?"

He shrugged. "She's got all the wedding preparations in hand, between herself and her mom. There's nothing for me to do." He tossed another log on the fire, dodging a spray of sparks. "So you're making a coat for Colonel Windstrom, eh?" Chris didn't even try to suppress his smirk. "What do you think of our fearless leader?"

"Fear-inspiring, more like. I'm not sure I'd want to hang around here all day listening to him criticize everyone."

Chris nodded. "True, he can be kind of a downer. Yesterday he pulled all the infantry aside for a lecture. He told us that if we weren't shopping at YeOldeReenactors.com, then we were Farbs and not worthy to be in this outfit."

I laughed. "YeOldeReenactors.com? Sounds like a cross between a New England sweet shop and eBay for history buffs. So are you shopping there?"

Chris gave me a sidelong glance. "Course I am — what do you think? Wouldn't want to stand out as a Farb, now would I?" He smoothed his shiny polyester coat with a wicked grin.

"Got it." I indicated the less-than-authentic coat. "Where did you get this, anyway?"

He leaned in close to whisper behind his hand. "There's a little costume shop on Baker Street, right next to the Keystone Playhouse. They sell leftover costumes from past shows. The Keystone did the musical The Civil War two years ago, and they wanted to get rid of the old costumes. I lucked out."

I mentally filed this information, ever on the lookout for leads for my sewing business. Maybe the Keystone would need a seamstress with historical expertise someday.

"There's a lot of interest in the Civil War these days," I said. "You know there's a Civil War movie filming in town right now. Do you guys have any interaction with them?"

"I dunno, they might want to film some of our skirmishes for background shots or something." He shrugged. "I just go with the flow."

A line of gray-clad soldiers marched past us, muskets held at the ready. I scanned their uniforms, looking for reassurance that I was on the right track with Colonel Windstrom's. Their coats came in a wide variety of colors: gray, butternut, and even some faded Union blue. "I don't get it, Chris. How come you guys are Confederate soldiers? There weren't any Southern troops in Laurel Springs, were there?"

"Nah, Laurel Springs was straight Union. But you can't have a battle with just one side, now, can you?" He lowered his voice to a dramatic whisper. "In actual fact, Daria, we're the bad guys."

Chris could never be the bad guy. He was one of the nicest people I had ever met. He worked in construction and remodeling — always a lucrative business in a town full of homes dating back to the early nineteen hundreds. The recession had slowed business a bit, Chris had told me, but he didn't think he'd get laid off. "I'm not worried," he'd said — three words that seemed to sum up his cheerful personality.

"So how come you're not wearing a hoop skirt?" Chris said. "I'll bet you could whip up a ball gown in no time."

I waved a persistent wisp of smoke away from my eyes. "I wouldn't need a ball dress to hang out with you soldiers, unless I just wanted to watch." I remembered a picture I'd come across in my research that showed women in long dresses and parasols standing on a hill watching the Civil War soldiers skirmishing down below. "If I wanted to fight for the glorious cause, I'd dress as a man, and you'd never know as long as I didn't get wounded or captured."

Chris slapped his knee in delight. "You got that right! In fact —"

Suddenly shouts and curses erupted from a tent about fifty yards away. I jumped and scooched a little closer to Chris.

"Who the hell has been messing with my stuff?" A stocky soldier stomped out of the tent, clutching a haversack in one hand and a small wooden box in the other. "You guys may think you're funny," he shouted, waving both arms for emphasis. "If I find out who did this, I'm taking him straight to the general!"

I leaned forward to look at the haversack dangling by its strap from the soldier's hand. A splash of red paint marred the flap of the small canvas bag. Dripping red letters spelled out the word FARB. The box bore the same message. I looked anxiously at Chris.

He shrugged. "Some guys want everyone to believe that they're really Civil War soldiers. I guess you could call them fanatics. They're messing with the guys who don't live up to their standard of perfection."

I reached out to touch Chris's polyester coat. "Are they messing with you?"

"Nah." He shrugged. "What can they do to me? I'm not worried."

I looked again at those red letters, paint dripping like blood, and shivered.

The commotion didn't faze Chris. He merely stood up, brushed some dirt off the seat of his pants, and led me to a cluster of larger, more imposing tents. "I think Colonel Windstrom's in a briefing with the general, but I'm not sure."

A smooth-faced sentry stood in front of the colonel's tent, musket held at the ready.

"Are these things loaded?" I said to Chris, waving a hand at the gleaming musket.

He looked me straight in the eye. "Of course, ma'am. You never know when the enemy might strike."

I shot him a sharp glance. "Are you trying to be funny?"

"We're supposed to stay in character at all times," he whispered with a grin. "I try to keep up appearances when the brass are looking."

I shook my head as Chris spoke to the sentry. The sentry was short, clearly a teenager. He wore a gray kepi pulled low over his eyes, so I couldn't see much of his face. No beard or moustache covered his strong jaw. Sandy curls peeked out from the back of his cap — he wore his hair long like boys did in the 1860s.

Chris turned to me. "Colonel Windstrom is busy, Daria. Private Rawlings is going to talk to the sergeant."

I was about to protest, when the sergeant stepped out of the tent. A tall man with a dark brown beard and moustache, he wore a tidy gray uniform coat over dark gray trousers and shiny black boots. He moved with a quiet military grace that came straight out of Gone with the Wind. When I held out my hand to introduce myself, he took it gently and bowed down to lightly kiss the back of my hand. No one had ever kissed my hand before, not even in jest. It didn't matter that I wasn't dressed in silk and petticoats — he saw me as a Southern belle. I could feel a sappy grin creep over my face as he lifted his eyes to mine. He had deep brown eyes, so dark you could barely see the pupils. They were eyes to get lost in.

The sergeant smiled, his whole face lighting up. "I'm Sergeant Jim Merrick," he said. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, ma'am."

"I'm Daria Dembrowski." I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks. "I'm making a uniform for Colonel Windstrom. I just needed to take a few more measurements."

"I won't hear another word!" a voice thundered from inside the tent. I jumped with a slight gasp. Sergeant Merrick smiled apologetically. "The colonel is busy at the moment. May I show you around until he's ready?" He held out his arm and tucked my hand into the crook of his elbow. I said goodbye to Chris, who headed back to his fireside with a cheery wave.

Jim Merrick walked me slowly through the tents, pointing out the cook tent, the infirmary, and even the photographer's quarters. "We have a camp photographer traveling with us for a few weeks," he said. "All the men want to have formal portraits taken to send to their loved ones back home."

It took me a minute to realize that I was talking to a Civil War soldier, not a twenty-first century man playing dress-up. This reenacting stuff would take a bit of getting used to. But I could play along. "So, it's the middle of the Civil War, huh? Where's back home to you?"

Jim flashed me a brilliant smile, obviously delighted by my willingness to get into the spirit of the game. "I hail from Tift County, down in Georgia," he drawled in a southern accent worthy of Clark Gable. "I'm a wheelwright, by trade. When this war is over, I hope to take up that useful pursuit once more."

I nodded slowly, chewing the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. "A wheelwright? So what's that? You make wagon wheels or something?"

"Or something." Jim glanced down to see if I was really interested. "I work with wood, constructing the hub, spokes, and rim of the wheel, which is then reinforced with iron by the village blacksmith. Henry Fleisher and I work as a team, back home in Tifton."

"And the loved ones, back home in Tifton? Is there a Mrs. Merrick waiting at home for you?" I didn't usually ask such personal questions right off the bat, but the game seemed to allow it.

"Indeed yes," he replied. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a worn leather wallet. He fished through it to extract a tiny daguerreotype of a young woman, which he held out to me. "My dear Susannah, that is, Mrs. James Merrick."

I bent over the little picture, admiring the striking features under the modest ruffled bonnet. With her high cheekbones and dark, arching eyebrows, Mrs. James Merrick was a beautiful woman. A fitting partner for the attractive sergeant by my side. I caught myself feeling an absurd sense of disappointment, as if it mattered to me whether or not Jim Merrick had a gorgeous wife at home. I shook myself mentally. "She's very lovely."

He tucked the picture back into his wallet. "Yes, she is." He extended his arm to me again with a half bow. "Shall we continue our tour?"

Jim steered me away from a smoky campfire on our way back to the officers' tents. I noticed a small tent off by itself under some trees. I didn't see a campfire near it, like with all the others.

"What's that tent over there?"

"Hmm? Oh, that? It's the isolation tent." He gave me that apologetic smile again. "You need discipline in any army, you know."

"You're kidding. What, it's like the box in movies, where you lock up the guy for ..." My words faltered. I could tell by the look on his face that that's exactly what it was. "Wow," I said. "So is it pretend, or are you really disciplining guys in there?"

Jim gave just the hint of a small, mysterious smile.

We returned to Colonel Windstrom's tent, and Jim murmured to Private Rawlings, who nodded curtly.

"The Colonel will see you now," Jim said. He removed my hand from his arm and held it for a moment, his deep brown eyes fixed on mine. Then he bowed over my hand and once again kissed it ever so lightly.

My heart pounded. I dropped a little curtsy, wishing I had worn a ball gown, or at least a pretty sundress, instead of my faded blue jeans. Maybe another day ...

Jim turned and walked away, leaving me to enter the colonel's tent alone.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dim light within. Colonel Windstrom's tent was crowded with a cot and chipped washstand in one corner, a trunk and traveling chest of drawers in another, and a large folding table surrounded by several camp chairs crammed into the middle. The stuffy smell of warm canvas intensified the claustrophobic feeling of the enclosed space.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Uniformly Dead by Greta McKennan. Copyright © 2017 Greta McKennan. Excerpted by permission of KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

Uniformly Dead 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read this to the end. Sorry to my gang its pizza tonite.
DaneWeimMama More than 1 year ago
Great start to a new series. Uniformly Dead is the first book in the A Stitch in Time series & its a entertaining read. This is the first book I've read by Greta McKennan but plan on reading more. Her characters are well developed & the story was so interesting. I voluntarily reviewed an Advance Reader Copy of this book.
GratefulGrandma More than 1 year ago
Uniformly Dead by Greta McKenna is the first book in "A Stitch in Time Mystery" series. Daria Dembrowski lives in Laurel Springs, Pennsylvania. After a disastrous relationship where her ex-fiancé skipped town after clearing out their bank account and leaving her in debt, Daria is trying to expand her seamstress business. She has gotten into "historical sewing" and is fortunate that there is a reenactment of a civil war battle nearby. A group of Civil War reenactors have set up an encampment on the outskirts of Turner Run Park. Daria has been commissioned by Colonel Windstrom (his reenactor name) to make a historically accurate jacket. She visits the camp several times to observe uniforms. While at the camp, she meets the dashing Sergeant Jim Merrick (aka Jim Laker) where she realizes there is some physical attraction. She is also working on a wedding gown (her original business) for a friend, Marsha, whose fiancé is involved in the reenactment. As the story starts, Daria's brother, Pete, shows up back in town and asks to stay with Daria while working as a cameraman on the Civil War film God and Glory, that is filming in town. When Daria and Pete head off to visit the local museum to check out other Civil War uniforms, someone steals Angeline, a doll in the collection. Pete is accused of stealing the doll. When Daria finishes the uniform and drops it off with the miserable Colonel, she realizes that she forgot her measuring tape in his tent and returns for it. She finds Colonel Windstrom dead on the floor and Chris Porter, Marsha's fiancé standing over him with a bayonet in his hands. Marsha asks Daria for help to clear Chris’ name and Daria agree. While all this is going on, Pete is involved in troubles of his own that drag Daria into something she has not idea about. With the help of Aileen, her quirky tenant who plays in a heavy metal band, the ladies muddle through. I found Uniformly Dead to be a quick and easy read. There are several unique characters in the book. The troublesome brother, the rocker roommate, and the meddlesome photographer add colour and humour to the story. This is the first book in the series, so the characters have not yet been fleshed out. Daria seems to be the only one that we really get to know. I hope we find out more about Pete and Aileen in future books. The plot is well developed and the two mysteries come together at the end. My one complaint is that I figured out the murderer long before the end of the book or before Daria did. It still held my interest as I wanted to see what would happen next to Daria and Pete. Uniformly Dead is for readers who enjoy light, humorous cozy mysteries. The publisher generously provided me with a copy of this book via Netgalley.
KrisAnderson_TAR More than 1 year ago
Uniformly Dead by Greta McKenna is the first book A Stitch in Time Mystery series. Daria Dembrowski lives in Laurel Springs, Pennsylvania. Daria is trying to expand her seamstress business by sewing for reenactors. A group of Civil War reenactors have set up an encampment on the outskirts of Turner Run Park. Daria’s first customer is Colonel Windstrom (his reenactor name) and he needs a new historically accurate uniform. After Colonel Windstrom’s appointment, Daria is surprised by the arrival of her brother, Pete. She has not seen him in six years since he left to work in Hollywood. Pete is in town working as a cameraman on the Civil War film God and Glory, and he needs a place to crash. Daria heads to the reenactors camp to visit Colonel Windstrom where she encounters the dashing Sergeant Jim Merrick (aka Jim Laker). To help ensure the authenticity of the uniform, Daria visits the Tremington Museum where there is currently a Civil War display from the collection of Emmeline McDowell. There is a beautiful Civil War era doll called Angeline that Daria admires. But then there is a kerfuffle, the lights go off and when they come back on the doll is gone. Daria finished the uniform and drops it off with the cranky Colonel. After leaving his tent, Daria realizes she forgot her tape measure and returns. She finds Colonel Windstrom dead on the floor and Chris Porter standing over him with a bayonet in his hands. Chris is due to marry soon and his fiancé, Marsha is distraught. Marsha asks Daria to clear Chris’ name (personally, I would hire a PI). Daria agrees to help Chris, but then her brother is in trouble as well. The missing doll is found in Pete’s room. Someone is setting him up, and Daria is determined to clear Pete’s name. Can Daria can sew up the crimes before there is another fatality? I found Uniformly Dead to be an easy to read book. There are several unique characters in the book. The troublesome brother, the rocker roommate, the cranky Colonel, and the meddlesome photographer are a few examples. I thought, though, that the characters lacked depth (they were very flat). We are not given many details on the characters (more on Daria than the others). Of course, there is the requisite romantic element. Daria has two potential suitors in Uniformly Dead. The mystery is simple and easily solved (you do not even need clues). There are two main storylines (the missing doll and the murder) that end up being tied together. There is a lot of action. There was one inane incident after another. I wish the author had not tried to put so much into the first book. The author should have spent more time on establishing the characters and the setting along with more focus on Daria’s work. It would have been nice if the whodunit had been more complex and difficult to solve. I give Uniformly Dead 3 out of 5 stars (it was okay). I did not like Daria’s roommate, Aileen. She is the lead guitarist in a rock band (from her description, she would scare children and some adults). She is the over-the-top and in-your-face type of person (she tells of cops). Besides living in the house, her band practices in the basement. Daria complains repeatedly about the music, but we are never told why she lets them practice there. Uniformly Dead is for readers who enjoy light, humorous cozy mysteries.
ArizonaJo More than 1 year ago
Uniformly Dead by Greta Mckennan is the first book in a new cozy series. It was a good beginning for a new cozy series. Daria Dembrowski is a seamstress in her hometown of Laurel Springs, PA and is trying to expand her business by offering her services to Civil War re-enactors who are currently in Laurel Springs. I loved her renter, Aileen! She was down-to-earth and yet so far out there that she made me laugh in almost every scene. Daria's brother, Pete, is troubled and I hope if he stays around that he becomes more likable. As for Marcus, I didn't know whether I wanted to smack him or hug him as the story progressed. Well developed characters and a steady plot that kept me turning the pages made this an enjoyable read. The reveal was quite exciting and I was sitting on the edge of my seat during the climax. I would definitely look for more in this series. I voluntarily reviewed an Advance Reader Copy of this book from Lyrical Underground via NetGalley. All of the above opinions expressed are my own.
chefdt More than 1 year ago
Uniformly Dead is the first book in the A Stitch In Time Mystery series. Daria Dembrowski has returned to her hometown of Laurel Springs and has opened her dream shop where she does alterations on wedding dresses and other clothing items. Her real dream is to get into “historical” sewing. There is a Civil War re-enactment currently taking place in Laurel Springs and there is also a film crew shooting the action from the re-enactment. Daria is very excited when Colonel Windstrom comes to her shop and orders a coat and breeches and a shirt demanding that anything showing should appear authentic for that time period. Daria has finished the coat and has taken to Windstrom and decides to walk around the camp, taking in the sights. Before she leaves, she returns to Windstrom tent to find another re-enactor, Chris Porter whose fiancee’s wedding dress she is altering, standing over the lifeless body of Windstrom. Daria doesn’t believe that Porter is guilty of the murder and sets off to prove his innocence. She soon finds that there are any number of suspects as he was a bit too obsessive needing to have everything to be period correct. In addition to the murder, Daria wants to find out who might have stolen a valuable Civil War era doll that had been on display in a local museum. She and her brother were near the display when the lights went out and the doll disappears, then so does her brother. This is a well-told story with interesting characters and plenty of twists and turns. Will be watching for the next book, Historically Dead, in this exciting new series, due out December 19, 2017.