The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce gave us new and important insight into the long-term effects of divorce on children who have grown into adulthood. What About the Kids? is a new book that tells parents in unprecedented detail how to help their children over the long haul--what to say, what to do, what to expect--every step of the way.
Tapping into the latest findings on how children develop, this clearly written guidebook helps parents understand why children at different ages react the way they do to divorce and how to head off trouble before it begins. The book follows divorce chronologically so parents can find advice for whatever stage of the experience they are in, including how to help older children many years after the breakup.
- Part One--The Immediate Breakup: What you need to know to get your own life back on track, what to tell the children, how children react, the reasons for their reactions, and thoughts on when is the best time to divorce.
- Part Two--The First Few Years: Setting routines, getting legal help, choosing the right custody to fit your child, finding support, and how to realistically follow the advice 'don't fight.'
- Part Three--Assessing the Post-Divorce Family Five and Ten Years Down the Road: Take another close look at yourself and your kids. Divorce requires a new kind of father, mother, and teenager.
- Part Four--When Outsiders Join the Family: Dating, sex, remarriage, blended families, holidays, and what step-parents need to know.
- Part Five--Conversations for a Lifetime: How to talk with your children as they enter young adulthood so they feel safe and free to seek relationships based on love, trust, and mutual commitment.
|Sold by:||Hachette Digital, Inc.|
|File size:||2 MB|
|Age Range:||13 - 18 Years|
About the Author
Table of Contents
|Part 1||The Breakup||1|
|Chapter 1||Take Care of Yourself||3|
|Chapter 2||Telling the Children||19|
|Chapter 3||The Developmental Ladder||31|
|Chapter 4||Zero to Three||43|
|Chapter 5||Three-, Four-, and Five-Year-Olds||51|
|Chapter 6||Six-, Seven-, and Eight-Year-Olds||63|
|Chapter 7||Nine- and Ten-Year-Olds||73|
|Chapter 8||Eleven-, Twelve-, and Thirteen-Year-Olds||87|
|Chapter 9||Fourteen-, Fifteen-, Sixteen-, and Seventeen-Year-Olds||99|
|Chapter 10||College-Age Children||113|
|Chapter 11||Vulnerable Children||121|
|Chapter 12||What Is the "Best" Time to Divorce?||127|
|Chapter 13||Setting Routines and Structure||133|
|Chapter 14||Supporting the New Family||141|
|Chapter 15||A New Kind of Parent||157|
|Chapter 16||You and the Law||163|
|Chapter 17||Laying the Foundation for Custody and Coparenting||175|
|Chapter 19||High-Conflict Divorce||203|
|Chapter 20||How to Choose the Right Custody for Your Child||215|
|Part 3||The Post-Divorce Family||221|
|Chapter 21||Take Another Close Look at Your Children and at Yourself||223|
|Chapter 22||The Overburdened Child||231|
|Chapter 23||Parent-Child Alignments||239|
|Chapter 24||A New Kind of Teenager||247|
|Chapter 25||A New Kind of Father||259|
|Chapter 26||A New Kind of Mother||269|
|Part 4||Second Marriage||275|
|Chapter 27||Dating and Sex||277|
|Chapter 29||Insiders and the Remarried Family||299|
|Chapter 31||Blending Two Families||323|
|Chapter 32||Holidays and Special Occasions||333|
|Part 5||Conversations for a Lifetime||339|
|Chapter 33||How to Protect Children of Divorce in Young Adulthood||341|
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Informative and well written
Many, many children would be able to survive their parents's divorce with minimal stress if parent's had read this book before or during their divorce.
I ordered this book from BN.com in hopes that it would help me, as a soon to be fully divorced father of a 6 month old, find a way to approach a contested custody battle. While there is a LOT of advice in the book about custody in regards to children of all ages, the book is still geared towards mothers. This is very frustrating for me. The author does note that fathers are up and coming as equal and interested parents but then undermines that statement by continuing to refer to contact with the father as 'visits' and discuss sole custody almost entirely as being with the mother. I am not going to deny that this is the age old traditional case but I do deny that this is how it should be. I was hoping, from a book published so recently, for a fresh look at the subject but disappointingly found yet another, albiet less obvious, declaration of the close minded over important role of the mother in a child's life. For child to be healthy and happy, they require the attention, parenting and love of both parents equally. It is the imperative of the Family Court System here in Vermont and should be of anyone who loves their children. If you are looking for another arguement for the power of women over men in child's life, look no further. If you were hoping, like me, to find a balanced discussion on the importance of both parents in such a hard time, you're knocking at the wrong door.
When it comes to the children (including adults) of divorce parents, Judith S. Wallerstein is considered the self-help guru based on the insightful THE UNEXPECTED LEGACY OF DIVORCE. Her newest effort to help families is a discerning collaboration with Sandra Blakeslee that provides a how to guide book to assist divorcing or divorced parents with helping their children survive the break up of the marriage. The authors insist that the former spouses must straighten themselves out rather quickly so that they can be there for the children (think airline oxygen mask instructions). Infants and toddlers need immediate assistance while adapting to changes in care and nurturing. Preadolescents require empathy and the knowledge the parents will be there as they struggle with the emotional bombs of change. Teens will manipulate the guilt of the parents better than Machiavelli so provide empathy and understanding, but also remember the parent has feelings too. Even adults have issues that their splitting parents must not ignore. Other topics provide insight into the before during, after, and second marriages with a thorough index to further assist the reader. This is a well-written complete guidebook encouraging the divorcees that with integrity they can handle the grenades their resentful, often angry children and perhaps their former partner toss at them. Harriet Klausner