When Mountains Crumble: Rebuilding Your Life After Losing Someone You Love

When Mountains Crumble: Rebuilding Your Life After Losing Someone You Love

by Danita Jenae
When Mountains Crumble: Rebuilding Your Life After Losing Someone You Love

When Mountains Crumble: Rebuilding Your Life After Losing Someone You Love

by Danita Jenae


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How do we make sense of what feels senseless?

Grief leaves us with empty arms and fistfuls of questions. If we don’t get help processing our loss, we can easily get stuck there. But take heart—there is hope to be found for the way ahead.

When Mountains Crumble offers you an interactive, healing journey through the big questions and emotions of grief. This book serves as your companion and guide, providing practical wisdom and thought-provoking questions that will help you wrestle with the pain you’re feeling.

Danita Jenae, a survivor of loss herself, helps lighten your load of sorrow with gripping honesty, reassuring gentleness, and a mild case of dark humor. She braves topics like doubting God’s goodness and wondering why this happened. Danita will help you:

  • Grieve in your own way at your own pace
  • Make peace with the big emotions of sorrow
  • Process your doubts and questions
  • Find peace and laughter, even in the heartbreak

When Mountains Crumble
isn’t a formulaic how-to book because there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. In fact, you’ll find the freedom and permission to feel what you need to feel and ask what you need to ask. Through vivid word pictures, poetry, and illustrations, you’ll begin to understand your grief in a fresh way. By sifting through the ashes alongside Danita, you’ll uncover peace for now and hope for the future. And as you begin to embark on this difficult journey . . . you’ll no longer feel so alone.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780802476388
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Publication date: 03/01/2022
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
Pages: 256
File size: 4 MB

About the Author

DANITA JENAE is a young mom and recent military widow learning to carry both joy and sorrow in the same breath. As an author, speaker, poet, and artist, she walks alongside the broken-hearted, offering practical and creative ways to lead a Spirit-led life at danitajenae.com and @CompanioninSorrow. To help you find your footing in sorrow, Danita invites you to grab your free copy of The Grief Guide at WhenMountainsCrumble.com.

Table of Contents

My Story and the Sangre de Cristo Mountains 13

Grief 101 19

Part 1 Fog and Shock (how grief affects you)

Misplacing Wednesdays (grief brain) 29

Losing taste buds (grief aversions) 32

Where can i hide? (grief covering) 36

I can't move (grief fever) 40

Moving forward (grief courage) 44

Who am i anymore? (grief + identity) 48

Part 2 The Topography of Grief (what to expect)

Mapping sorrow 55

The wave pool 61

The faulty five stages 66

Sippy cups and avoidance 71

Feast or famine 75

Switchbacks and setbacks 78

Part 3 Find Your Footing (soul-care)

Life-giving list 85

Lilies and resilience 90

Horses and healing 95

Blessings, bittersweet 99

Junkyards and redemption 102

Part 4 Companions in Sorrow (grief + community)

When they pass the baton 111

Build an emotional support team 116

When Jesus is your only friend 121

When they say dumb things 125

Build a prayer team 130

When they ask how you're doing 134

Build a practical help team 136

Part 5 Derailed and Shaken (doubts + questions)

Permission to ask why 143

Surrendering whys 147

Flipping whys 151

Jesus asking why 155

Blaming God for why 160

Part 6 The Crossroads (faith + emotions)

The ministry of lament 167

When lament feels like puberty 171

The ministry of tears 174

When you want to give up 178

The ministry of smoke alarms 183

Part 7 The Veil Between Heaven and Earth (you + your loved one)

The what ifs 191

The coulda-woulda-shouldas 197

The could-be, would-be, should-bes 201

The veil between heaven and earth 205

The legacy of prayer 210

Part 8 Sacred Ground (hope of redemption)

When it hits the fan 219

When the Holy Spirit takes the wheel 223

When manna falls 228

When rocks cry out 232

When eagles fly 237

Additional Resources 243

Many Thanks 245

Notes 248

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

Praise for When Mountains Crumble

“For over fifty years of pastoral ministry, I have walked the road of grief with hundreds of individuals. I have read and shared many books on grief, but after reading When Mountains Crumble I wished it had been available during all those years. I would have given it to all those who experienced the death of a loved one. I highly recommend it.”
—Gary Chapman Ph.D., author of The Five Love Languages

“We’re from different generations; I’m older, Danita is younger. Our stories are different, yet the same. I lost my precious daughter to liver cancer while she lost her amazing husband in a climbing accident. Our pain hurts the same. In When Mountains Crumble, Danita is vulnerable and heart-wrenchingly honest, giving both practical help and spiritual wisdom gleaned during her walk through the Valley of Weeping. I highly recommend this book!”
—LINDA DILLOW, author of Calm My Anxious Heart and Satisfy My Thirsty Soul

“This book sparkles with authenticity that acknowledges the angst of unanswered questions. It’s also refreshing, creative, unique, and riveting. If you’ve lost a loved one or if you’ve been looking for the ideal resource to put into the hands of someone who is grieving due to death, or an unexpected crisis that has dramatically changed life’s trajectory, buy this book. The author offers no quick fixes; instead, she provides support for the next step in the journey. When Mountains Crumble is a timeless treasure you’ll want on hand to give to anyone who is experiencing loss.”
—CAROL KENT, speaker and author, When I Lay My Isaac Down and He Holds My Hand

“When your world is rocked by the death of a loved one, the tumble of emotions and weight of decisions in the aftermath are overwhelming. In When Mountains Crumble, you will find a pathway through the labyrinth of grief so you can wrangle your emotions, find comfort in your sorrow, and find hope for your future.”
—ROBYN DYKSTRA, national Christian speaker; author of The Widow Wore Pink; two-time widow

When Mountains Crumble offers no sugar-coated shortcuts through the rocky terrain of sorrow. Drawing deeply from her own experience of loss and her daily reliance on the Holy Spirit, Danita Jenae provides a Scripture-sketched map for the twisting, turning journey of grieving and healing. Be prepared to weep, to laugh, and to roll up your sleeves for the hard, grace-filled work of grief. Because, as Danita reminds us, ‘No one fights alone.’”
—JACK NEWMAN, American Bible Society

“Dear one, are you going through grief? Has something tragic transpired to one you love and adore? Get this book. Now. Don’t wait. Danita has woven a beautiful tapestry of comfort, gentle direction, and knowledgeable advice that will be your faithful companion on this journey of mourning.”
—SARAH PHILPOTT, author of Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child after Pregnancy Loss

“Much like the beloved allegory Hinds’ Feet on High Places, Danita has invited the reader into a transforming journey by the goodness and mercy of God. I was moved to tears more than once, not just because of her immeasurable heartache—rather, due to the powerful, poignant way she artistically wove God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit into everyday struggles. This book is a priceless friend in print, drawing the reader into their own story.”
—MARY JO PIERCE, intercessor, speaker, and author of Adventures in Prayer and Follow Me: An Unending Conversation with God

When Mountains Crumble is thought-provoking, honest, challenging, and outright good reading. As a widow, I readily identify with the fog, the shock, the sorrow, and even the dumb decisions she experienced. It helps a widow navigate through her grief by answering the personal questions posed and lets others better understand and pray for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one.”
—QUIN SHERRER, author of Hope for a Widow’s Heart

“Danita powerfully weaves grief and hope, sorrow and beauty, with a grace that invites us in and creates a space to be real with where we are in our loss. By not pretending, not burdening with pious formulas or ‘shoulds,’ this guide gives breath when it feels like we cannot breathe.”
—BISHOP KEN ROSS, Anglican Diocese of the Rocky Mountains

“I wholeheartedly recommend When Mountains Crumble to all my GriefShare participants! Danita is truly a gifted writer. I love how honest and vulnerable she is with her own grieving, as well as the questions for self-reflection at the end of each chapter. I wish I could have had this resource when my husband died of a brain tumor.”
—DEBBIE BEATTY, hospice nurse, GriefShare coordinator, military widow

“As a trauma-trained counselor, I have seen many walk the journey of grief, loss, and trauma. Danita has written a powerful, beautiful book, the perfect wise and gentle companion for anyone walking through grief. Offering a practical vulnerable peeking into her own grief story laced with Scripture and hope and a safe space to feel all the feelings—this is a treasure for those walking in deep darkness. This book is a seasoned guide, a refuge, and a journey toward step-by-step healing. I will be giving this book out to any client/friend going through grief.”
—JENNIFER HAND, Executive Director of Coming Alive Ministries; author of My Yes Is on the Table: Moving from Fear to Faith

“Danita Jenae has written one of the most profound books I’ve ever read on grief! Authentic, passionate, and provocative, Danita gently leads the reader toward hope. I highly recommend!”
—BECKY HARLING, conference speaker and bestselling author of How to Listen So People Will Talk and Psalms for the Anxious Heart

“After losing our son, a Lieutenant Colonel in the US Air Force, the grief was overwhelming. Danita has captured the journey through grief eloquently, lovingly, and truthfully. We highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost a loved one, or anyone who wants to understand how to love and encourage those who have.”
—PAUL AND ANITA, proud Gold Star parents

When Mountains Crumble tenderly places a powerful tool of hope into the hands of one lost in grief. Beautifully written with honesty and compassion, Danita shines a light on one of the darkest paths of human experience, giving voice to our fears as she shares her own story with courageous authenticity. This book is the perfect gift for someone grieving.”
—ERICA WIGGENHORN, author of Letting God Be Enough: Why Striving Keeps You Stuck and How Surrender Sets You Free

“We all need a friend to talk to when life is hard. In When Mountains Crumble, Danita warmly invites readers into conversation, reflecting on grief together and making space for God’s rebuilding work to begin.”
—CLARISSA MOLL, author and cohost of Christianity Today’s Surprised by Grief podcast

“How I wish I had these words to hold in my hands and heart after the loss of our two sweet babies. This grace-filled devotional reminds us we are not alone; we have a Savior who will carry us through the deep waters, leading us straight into His love.”
—CARLIE KERCHEVAL, author and cofounder of Marriage Legacy University

“As a recent widow and still very fresh in my grief, this beautiful balm of a book is so soothing to my sad and hurting heart. Danita’s writing is filled with a raw honesty—the kind that makes you nod your head without realizing it—and she blends in wisdom with a touch of humor that is so badly needed when in the midst of grief.” 
—TRICIA MARCHAND, young widow and mom of two

“I lost my first husband at twenty-three and my second at thirty-one years young. If only there had been this kind of hope written down for me! Danita’s book is certainly helping demolish the mountain of aloneness in pain and grief for the widow. These devotionals will paint the words He wishes any young widow to know: I AM HERE.”
—RACHEL FAULKNER BROWN, director of Be Still Ministries and Never Alone Widows

“Danita Jenae invites the grieving reader in, to wrestle, wade, and walk through their own loss of a loved one. Be comforted as you read truth from the Bible, journal, and experience healing to discover His strength to face your day!”
—DARLENE LARSON, author, Life Purpose Coach®, Grief-Loss Coach, Recovery Coach, founder of Hearts with a Purpose

“Unfortunately, I’ve lost friends in all branches of the military, and recently lost my father, a Vietnam Veteran Marine, and have learned I can do much to heal by learning from others and trusting in God’s unfailing love. In When Mountains Crumble, Danita has done a wonderful job presenting practical ways to help anyone experiencing grief rebuild by explaining much about what grief is and isn’t, letting them know some of what to expect, and using devotional stories about her personal experiences with examples and questions to help guide those experiencing loss move forward with God’s unshakable peace and unconditional compassion.”
—JOE LEWIS, USAF, Lt. Col. (Ret.); founder and CEO, Angels of America’s Fallen

“You never expect grief—even if you know it’s coming. Danita takes your hand through the early days of loss, showing you that even though mountains crumble, God does not. This book is a much-needed companion on the grief journey.”
—TAMI IMLAY, military widow and mom; podcast host of Her Restored Spirit; Restoration Coach

“After losing my mom, I have now read When Mountains Crumble three times; I still cry and laugh out loud many times throughout. God is going to bless so many through this book!”
—SARAH, headmaster and award-winning school teacher

“Danita Jenae’s words have been like a friend who understands, a balm. I can’t wait to share the grief-birthed wisdom she’s penned here with others. Danita has tossed out convention and in its place shares tested comfort about loving well to the end and about more than just-getting-by with God at our side.”
—RACHEL VIRGINIA, law enforcement widow

“Because Danita was in a new community without a support network, she walked through the valley of the shadow of death leaning on Jesus. She will hold your hand through the valley with vulnerability. No religious platitudes or ‘should’ves’ here. She shares transparent emotions, pain, courage, and hope.”
—TERRI BROWN, The Table Church

“Danita Jenae is a woman on a mission to comfort God’s people in lovingkindness. As a military missionary and seasoned military spouse, I have found that grief is all too often a large part of our shared story. This book speaks directly to women in pain, shepherding their hearts back to the One and only who can offer hope and healing.”
—MEGAN B. BROWN, author of Summoned: Answering a Call to the Impossible

“I appreciate the realness of this book. As a widower myself, I can identify with so many things that Danita expresses in this book. Also the practical advice and the helpful insights are priceless. This will be a valuable resource in my counseling ministry!”
—CHRIS CARTER, Executive Director, Carter’s Biblical Counseling, Widower

“In this devotional guide, Danita Jenae’s wrestling with God’s truth and her experience is deeply real, and her openness is rare. I am confident this guide will help you know you are not alone, or crazy. It’s like a friend who will help you sort through emotions, thoughts, and questions of ‘Where is God in all of this?’”
—TOM COFFAN, full-time Minister to Students for more than fifty years in Colorado

“Danita speaks from a deeply authentic place, and I stand in witness to the work of God in her life while she traverses the tragic loss of her husband. I am excited for all the ways God will reach and encourage other people journeying through grief through this beautiful book.”
—ERIKA BLANKENSHIP, military spouse

“Through this book, Danita passionately and practically helps others who have suffered the loss of a loved one. She is transparent, relatable, and honest; you’ll no longer feel alone. Dan would be so proud of what Danita has done and I am too.”
—JANE DAVIS, Intercessory Prayer at Generations United Church, Niceville, FL

“This book is a gentle powerhouse, not only because of Danita’s poignant reflections but through the journal questions that help us process loss while pointing us to God’s faithful and tender compassion.”
—LISA APPELO, sudden widow and single mom to seven children; author, Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After It All Falls Apart

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