Political satire as deeper truth: Donald Trump’s presidential memoir, as recorded by two world-renowned Trump scholars, and experts on greatness generally
"I have the best words, beautiful words, as everybody has been talking and talking about for a long time. Also? The best sentences and, what do you call them, paragraphs. My previous books were great and sold extremely, unbelievably welleven the ones by dishonest, disgusting so-called journalists. But those writers didn't understand Trump, because quite frankly they were major losers. People say if you want it done right you have to do it yourself, even when 'it' is a 'memoir.' So every word of this book was written by me, using a special advanced word processing system during the many, many nights I've been forced to stay alone in the White Houseonly me, just me, trust me, nobody helped. And it's all 100% true, so truepeople are already saying it may be the truest book ever published. Enjoy."
Until Donald Trump publishes the ultimate account of his entire four or eight or one-and-a-half years in the White House, the definitive chronicle will be You Can’t Spell America Without Me: The Really Tremendous Inside Story of My Fantastic First Year As President. Trump was elected because he was the most frank presidential candidate in history, a man eager to tell the unvarnished truth about others’ flaws and tout his own amazing excellence. Now he levels his refreshingly compulsive, un-PC candor at his landslide election victory as well as his role as commander-in-chief and leader of the free world.
There are intimate, powerful, mind-boggling revelations on every page. You are there with him during his private encounters with world leaders, a few of whom he does not insult. You are there at the genius Oval Office strategy sessions with his advisers. You are there in his White House bedroom as he crafts the pre-dawn Twitter pronouncements that rock the world. And, of course, you are there on the golf course as Trump attempts to manage the burdens of his office.
President Trump explains each of the historic decisions that have already made America great again, and how he always triumphs over the fake news media. You'll learn what he really thinks of his cabinet members and top aides not related to him, of the First Lady and the First Daughter and the additional three or four Trump children. Included at no extra charge is a lavish and exclusive portfolio of spectacular, historic and intimate color photographs of President Trump in private – inside the White House, inside Mar-a-Lago, at Trump Tower, and more.
You Can’t Spell America Without Me is presented by America’s foremost Trump scholar Kurt Andersen as well as America's foremost mediocre Trump impersonator, Alec Baldwin.
You Can't Spell America Without Me is the perfect holiday gift!
|Publisher:||Penguin Publishing Group|
|Product dimensions:||6.40(w) x 9.50(h) x 1.20(d)|
About the Author
Alec Baldwin is a multiple Emmy, Golden Globe, and Screen Actors Guild Award-winning actor, producer, comedian, and philanthropist. He has also been nominated for an Oscar and a Tony Award and the author of the New York Times bestseller A Promise to Ourselves.
Kurt Andersen is an author/novelist and host of the public radio show Studio 360. He is also co-founder of Spy and author of Fantasyland: How America Went Haywire: A 500-Year History, which Random House is publishing in July 2017.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 You Actually Can't Spell America Without "Me" 1
Chapter 2 I Had To Do It My Way 6
Chapter 3 This is American History 15
Chapter 4 I Won, I'm a Winner, I'm The Winner 23
Chapter 5 With Great Wealth Comes Great Quality 34
Chapter 6 The Actual Legal Takeover of the Government 37
Chapter 7 I Need a TV In The Oval 47
Chapter 8 It Finally Felt Real, Like a Movie 53
Chapter 9 I'm The President 65
Chapter 10 I Feel Like a New Man 77
Chapter 11 I Like Tough 80
Chapter 12 It Was About To Get Even Better 88
Chapter 13 The So-Called Russia Stories 98
Chapter 14 If I Acted "Presidential" I'd Lose My Special Powers 102
Chapter 15 The American People Understand 114
Chapter 16 A Good Test for Comey 125
Chapter 17 They Said It On the News 132
Chapter 18 The Bad Polls Are Probably Mostly or Completely Fake 143
Chapter 19 Everybody Lied To Me 152
Chapter 20 Ivanka Has Such a Gorgeous Smile 164
Chapter 21 The Presidency Really is Like a TV Series 171
Chapter 22 I Never Panic 179
Chapter 23 I Had To "Kill" Him-Kiel in Quotation Marks 190
Chapter 24 The "Special Counsel" is Totally Rigged 196
Chapter 25 Everyone Nervous Except Me 200
Chapter 26 Is Jared A Fredo? 205
Chapter 27 We're Both Strong and Know the Score 208
Chapter 28 If Anything Happens To Me, Here's the Truth 212
Chapter 29 We'll All Look Back and Laugh About This 214
Chapter 30 Call Him Flipper 216
Chapter 31 It's A Crazy World 217
Chapter 32 So Many, Many Secrets To Keep 221
Chapter 33 Route 66 223
Chapter 34 Maga 226
Chapter 35 My Nobel Prize 227
Chapter 36 Shlimazel 228
Chapter 37 Ang Buhlay Ay Maganda 229
Chapter 38 Was That All A Dream? 232
Chapter 39 All Fake 233
Chapter 40 Hooray President Trump, Hooray Presidente Trump, Hooray President Trump in Russian With the Crazy Backward 3 234
Chapter 41 The End 240
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Really funny satire!
Good take on trump's moronic antics
Love it so much
Shows drumpf for what the world knows him to be - a toxic blowhard not qualified to be elected as an alderman let alone the mistake that has been foisted on this great and now suffering country.
typical liberal trash which avoids any mention of hilarys corruption. way to be a good guy by closing one eye there Alec
Alec who? I couldn't get past the free sample reading.