★ 2022-01-25
In this debut essay collection, a writer from Myanmar explores topics ranging from baking to laundry through the lenses of race and immigration.
In two of the essays, War—who was born and raised in Yangon and now lives there after graduate work in England—relates the history of her relationship with her legal name, Moe Thet War, and her nickname, Pyae Pyae. Specifically, she recounts how Westerners, including her boyfriend, “Toothpick,” mispronounce her name and how she unknowingly began to mispronounce it herself. Writing about baking, War frankly discusses how the societal expectation that she should cook Myanmar food—which she doesn’t—complicates her positive and intuitive relationship with baking, which the author associates with White culture. “My top two baking recipe sites…are run by beaming white women who obviously also own KitchenAid mixers and who have baking in their blood,” she writes. In an essay on laundry, the author vividly describes her complex feelings about washing her clothes alongside her boyfriend’s clothes; she cites a belief in Myanmar of a “mystical power that men supposedly possess that is believed to be sapped if men’s clothes come in contact with women’s.” Exploring Myanmar’s obsession with rice, War reveals her struggle with years of being fat-shamed. The author’s voice balances humor and insight, and her views on race and identity are well reasoned, vulnerable, and unique. Particularly brilliant is her candid discussion of her conflicted feelings about writing about her heritage, which, at times, feels like a trap. “As a young teen artist whose Brownness seemed to follow me around like a second shadow,” she writes, “being the Myanmar writer who voluntarily wrote a novel set in Myanmar and featuring Myanmar characters seemed to me like an act of self-sabotage.” Like much of the book, this observation is intelligent, thought-provoking, poignant, and a delight to read.
A refreshingly honest, original exploration of personal identity and a culture that may be unfamiliar to American readers.
A Ms. Most Anticipated Book of the Year
"A fresh and insightful debut." —Nadia Owusu, The New York Times Book Review
"Readers are gifted a funny, insightful, and beautifully written collection of essays . . . A must for your bookshelf . . . Incisive and exciting." —Sarah Neilson, Shondaland
"Perfect for fans of the podcast Armchair Expert and the Netflix show Never Have I Ever . . . You've Changed is a portrait of someone who is mostly unapologetically—though sometimes mildly apologetically—herself . . . There should be way more books by relatable people who describe themselves as 'pretty average,' and who celebrate 'fluff,' but who don't shy away from heavy topics—and Pyae Moe Thet War does just that." —Robyn Smith, Bust
"Decisive and deft . . . Reading You’ve Changed is akin to conversing late into the night with an intelligent friend." —Jisu Kim, LIBER: A Feminist Review
"Bracingly honest, irreverent . . . A bold renovation and essential contribution to the tradition of Asian writers with ties to the West examining their fractured identities within racialized societies through essay collections of memoir and cultural analysis, including Jay Caspian Kang’s The Loneliest Americans and Xiaolu Guo’s A Lover’s Discourse . . . These roving essays capture the complexities of identity formation by evoking the process of self-definition in all its precariousness, despair, and joy." —Darren Huang, Full Stop
"The essays in Pyae Moe Thet War’s debut collection are engaging, spirited, and fast-paced accounts of what it means to be a Myanmar woman today—both inside and outside her country’s borders. Resisting easy categorization and drawing us into the author’s multiple worlds and lives, You’ve Changed candidly explores the many ways we navigate identity in a world whose mainstream culture is dominated by the West."—Richa Kaul Padte, Hazlitt
"One of the definite essay collections for millennial immigrants . . . Explores complex viewpoints and shifts how we can think about, and discuss, immigration in our current world." —Adam Vitcavage, Debutiful
"Sharp as a spade . . . You’ve Changed ultimately strikes gold with its unique blend of humor and vulnerability . . . War’s memoir shook me to my core . . . No reader would be able to flatten this memoir down to just one dimension of Pyae Moe Thet War’s identity—the richness of intersectionality is built into the DNA of the piece. Representation matters, and You’ve Changed is a testament to that." —Rachel Donalson, Porter House Review
"Picking up this book feels like a great laugh and a giant hug from a big sister I’ve never had." —Bonnie Chow, The Cosmos Book Club
"Once the 'lone mythical Myanmar unicorn in every writing space I attended,' [War] claims her own expanse in this vivacious debut nonfiction collection showcasing wise-beyond-her-years insight (she’s 25 in her first essay), biting impatience, and plenty of unfiltered humor . . . Illuminating, entertaining essays about coming of age between languages, cultures, and born-into and chosen families." —Booklist (starred review)
"Thought-provoking, poignant, and a delight to read . . . A refreshingly honest, original exploration of personal identity." —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
"In this arresting debut, War reflects on her dual lives spent in the U.S. and Myanmar to cleverly explore notions of home and identity . . . Intoxicating." —Publishers Weekly
“This book was a joy to read. Bracing, heartfelt, and frequently laugh-out-loud funny, Pyae Moe Thet War considers the complexities of migration, belonging, and what it means to love in a debut that is as refreshing as it is welcoming. I can't wait to read more from this wonderful writer.” —Nicole Chung, author of All You Can Ever Know
“Reading You've Changed is like staying up all night with a new friend, swapping stories over a take-out container of fried rice. I was charmed by Pyae Moe Thet War's voice, at turns vulnerable, self-deprecating, and always humorous, and by her thoughtful exploration of the liminal space in which her multitude of identities—Myanmar, woman, feminist, writer—reside.” —Larissa Pham, author of Pop Song
"You've Changed is an inviting work by a debut author whose voice flexes its skill across different terrains of living and being. Pyae Moe Thet War meditates and grapples with identity as it relates to migration, Western assimilation, and intergenerational expectations—a fine book from a severely underrepresented voice in the world of arts and letters. I hope this work leaves the door open for other Myanmar writers." —Morgan Jerkins, author of Caul Baby